June 7, 2017
Florida Weather
Today was normal weather for northeast Florida. Meaning, when driving over the 312 bridge, we left a vicious thunderstorm and emerged under the sunny blue morning sky! On the way back 30 minutes later, to our left was pouring rain and to the right was partly cloudy. Off I95 and 16, there were waves of torrential downpours. The Walmart parking lot was a temporary lake. A low-riding car crawled through Lake Walmart with wheels nearly covered! Fortunately, an escaping toddler had a mother with leopard reflexes and Mom prevented said toddler from a plunge into Lake Walmart.
If you don’t like the current weather, wait ten minutes (or maybe less, we can go from parched to flooded in less time than it takes to read this article).
Florida is a wonderful opportunity for weathermen. You can basically wave your hands over my town and say, “today has a high chance of rain.” This is 99.99% accurate any day between June and November. (If it’s currently sunny, just amend that to “today we have a 10% chance of rain” and you’re covered in case a cloud shows up over your head because nature likes to laugh.)
You know, sometimes they say “its 90 degrees but feels like 104 because of the heat index.” This is to help you understand that walking around in anything more than a bathing suit and flip-flops will result in rivers of sweat cascading down your body – everywhere. (This includes your fingers and toes!) If you’re asking “what does outside feel like?” the answer is always between “surface of the sun” and “broiling.”
Humidity is never zero. This is because we live surrounded on three sides by water – a peninsula. (a finger of land testing the water screaming, “please, cool me off!”) Humidity means water in the air. Okay, imagine walking through the rain and you’ve got my town’s humidity level. Chickens walk around in perpetual fluffiness and when you pet a dog, your hand gets wet.
All in all, this is a great vacation spot! You leave normal life to visit us so you can experience noon heat, 2pm humidity, and the afternoon torrent of a cloudburst where everyone’s phones go *BEEP* because the instant weather alert warns (ten minutes after the storm has passed) that “Thunderstorms may be imminent.” After your vacation, you wonder if the reason people actually live here is because the brain cells of the natives are fried.
Honestly, all jokes aside, we live here because we love it!
I love Florida weather – and love my special little town.
As a side note, the best invention ever for Floridians was the air conditioning unit.
Thanks for reading!
Type at you later,
~Nancy Tart