April 18, 2020
Choosing Not To Be Bitter
Ever been in a trying time that seemed like you were at the bottom of a pit looking up?
Have you been living in the same world?
Yes, yet we have to keep hope.
Ever had all the roots you are trying to use to pull yourself out of said pit snap?
Yes.
In the last couple of weeks my life actually was dumped upside down, just like everyone else around…
My favorite job, my release, my passion was forced to close. There went 1/3 of my income.
My husband lost two jobs because the market just shriveled up (any other service personnel?). There went ½ of our family income.
My steady job, the one I was sure wouldn’t close because I knew there was plenty of work, actually scaled back. There went ½ of my remaining income.
My teenagers had college classes dropped, graduations and dances canceled, service opportunities disappeared, camps they had saved over a year for canceled, tests they need for scholarships canceled, community groups canceled, jobs shut down… and mine are home schooled, so supposedly it wasn’t as bad for them! (I beg to differ, they are stressed because so much of what they do isn’t at home!) My girls had their gymnastics close – their life either as athletes or coaches.
We had to choose joy! We had to choose to look at the positive. (Lots of time to practice, create routines for “demo” that last a whole song, work on their show routines, practice spotting…)
We live frugally, yes. But can you actually survive on 1/6th of your household income for who knows how long?
$600 a month for groceries is “not much” but my remaining 1/6th only pays rent, barely. Everything else: utilities, insurance, food, etc. we’ve been forced to put on credit. Yes, I hate credit cards! But this is what they are for. ONLY NEEDS! This is because I refuse to take my savings right now…
This comes when we are almost at our goal of down payment for our house. If I pull money from our savings, I’m cutting the throat on our future. I needed two more months of major savings to meet our estimated down payment… we were going to have enough to get the LED can lighting I wanted and the whole-house gutters installed afterward. This could toss almost 4 years of struggle under the bus.
I could choose to be depressed.
I chose to not be sad. I chose music and fun and enjoying my family and praying for the health of friends and family and praying that both my gym and my office recover.
I’m thankful that I still have a job. I’ve been told I’m “fatally loyal.” (I call it trained right, thanks Daddy!) I give everything at my jobs – both of them! But when I do the budget and figure out that we need extra to get by, instead of working as a stocker or finding a whole new career, I decide to work summer camp at my gym, & I get asked: what? You can’t just wait to go back to full time?
WAIT?? I wondered if this person was on the same planet as me. They are in the same industry and the same state – yes. I’m super loyal to my work. I thought I had proven that by giving up so many extra gym hours to stay at the office longer!! No, I’m not going to go full time at another electrical contractor – BUT I am more loyal to my family and my personal goals. I will work seasonally at my gym which doesn’t interfere at all with my current “steady” job schedule. I will be there for summer camp at my dream job. With this income from both of us (Louis gets to work seasonally too!), we will be able to keep our house goal!
I’ve gotten to the point where I will do what is best for my family and my dreams regardless of what others think – oddly, this person is the same who has taught me that if you demand what you want from an employer you get it.
I could choose to allow one person’s comments to make me bitter. Instead, I refuse to change. If the loyalty I show isn’t rewarded now, I don’t care. I am choosing to find the happiness. I choose to be loyal regardless.
I choose to enjoy the extra time doing homeschool! (I LOVE this part!)
I choose to enjoy the time I will spend working along with my children during summer. This will be remembered as the summer when my whole family works at the same job! (and we don’t own it!) I’m excited for what new things God has provided for us in this season. I am thankful that we got better so quickly. I am thankful that God gave me portable music to help keep me grounded! I trust everything will turn to work out for good. I TRUST. I choose peace. I choose music. I choose JOY!
So instead of letting circumstances turn you bitter, find the positive and turn your heart to joy! (There is a reason the peace is called “passing all understanding” – the world doesn’t see why you can be calm and happy in your circumstances – and that is your witness for Jesus!)
What are you doing that you totally enjoy and don’t want to discard later? I pray you choose joy! “Give them something to talk about!” (Bonnie Raitt) – I know, different kind of love… but still!
Thank you for reading.
Type at you next time,
~Nancy Tart