July 28, 2017
Who You Are
As a teen, I decided never to “change myself” for others. I watch people. I watched many relationships in various stages during my teenage years and learned that I didn’t want to present myself as something I wasn’t. It seemed that those who faked who they were had a hard time in their relationships. You don’t have to pretend to love everything another person enjoys to “capture” them. My mom didn’t have to bury herself in computer code to get my Daddy’s attention, she just does the bend and snap.
I analyzed the relationships of those whose love I admired. They were the couples who had vowed til death do us part and meant it. They enjoyed each other’s company in simple pleasures, like taking a walk, exploring a park, watching a movie, or eating a meal. They built their relationship on trust and honesty. They didn’t always do everything together. They didn’t always have the same interests. They did respect each other. They loved each other. They did life together.
I didn’t want a “catch” or “conquest.” I wanted a best friend. I wanted someone to grow up with, raise a family with, get old together with, and enjoy forever – I wanted someone to do life with.
I like to dress up (Heels, skirts, blouses and dresses) for church, work, and dinner. I’m competitive. If you want to play a game with me, I’m going to try to win! I’m stubborn, so I won’t surrender. I love to be outside. If you ask what I want to do, surfing, tennis, bicycling, and swimming top the list. I love worship. I love to dance and be childish when I’m happy or feel free. If I’m watching a sunrise on the beach, I am likely to start singing and twirling. Bored on a bus or in a ride queue? I’m probably singing some silly song with whatever child will sing along. I am myself. I wasn’t looking to change anyone else, so why would anyone want to change me?
That was my attitude; still is.
Truly it came down to self-worth. I knew that God loved me so what else mattered? My self-worth was in how God saw me. I figured He died for me. He must think I’m something good. Out of love for Him, I’m constantly trying to improve myself, but not because He says I’m no good as I am. (I am also a perfectionist, so yes, I’m always critically looking at myself and trying to self-improve – we tend to be hardest on ourselves.) I especially want my girls to know that no matter what flaws they see in themselves, they are always loved by God. (And by family, of course, but we are all human so putting your idea of self-worth in a person isn’t perfect.)
So think of who you are. How do you see yourself? Are you seeing yourself as the amazingly beautiful creation that Jesus loved so much He died and rose again so you can have life with Him forever? You are a beloved child of God.
Today, my sense of self-worth is still in how God sees me. This has helped me not to expect perfection from anyone except God. (That seriously helps with all relationships!)
I have my husband, daughters, son, family, and friends to do life with. We are loving every day of it!
Thanks for reading!
Type at you next time…
~Nancy Tart