Tag: self-worth

Building Monuments

February 29, 2020

So on my way to work today there was a radio broadcast. I actually listen to this every morning until I get to work on 91.9 FM. It’s the Excel Church radio broadcast. Usually the topics have been related to generational building in legacy, finances, nature, etc. Today was on monuments.

He said we often allow ourselves to build monuments to sin and we see that one thing, or series of things, as bigger than anything else in our lives and immovable. Totally get that one.

When someone makes one bad choice, they are told by others or their own mind that they are defined by that one choice and as such, are not “worthy” of anything better.

He was discussing how the church generally does that to people in the church and we as individuals do it to ourselves. His challenge was, as individuals, to search our hearts, pray, and find the sin monuments in our lives and remove them.

I thought about this.

When I was first personally deciding to follow Jesus, probably about 8, I constantly heard the prayer where it says “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others” and for almost two years, I wouldn’t forgive one person (a little bully who had hurt and embarrassed me when I was 5). I would argue that I wasn’t around him so my constantly remembering it and talking about it wasn’t bad. Then, about 10, I realized that I was keeping myself bitter because of that unforgiveness. I let it go.

I know, silly story, right? But to me at 10, that was huge. To me looking back now, I saw how that lesson helped me to not hold grudges and find peace.

Learning to find and demolish those monuments has been key in my life too. I just never realized it was so important. I thought it was part of understanding my relationship with God better; slowly growing in my ability to forgive others and myself. To let things go. If God forgets our sin, who am I to keep reminding myself or others of it?

In relationships, it could be one sin – he said usually it is a sin of the mouth. We say something without filtering it and regret it instantly. There is no “delete” or “backspace” for words spoken. Unfortunately, sometimes people build monuments to that lapse and next week, next month, or 10 years later in an altercation they remind the offender, “remember when you said …” – they have built a monument to that one sin.

It needs a demo team.

Blow that monument up and scatter the ashes.

You feel like that sin monument can’t be torn down as it’s too strong or been there too long – actually, it’s made of air like a mountain of trash bags full of foam. Stick a vacuum in the end of the bag and you have almost nothing. God can tear down your sin monuments.

You can’t build relationships with monuments to sin forcing themselves between you. You can’t build your own heart toward God without breaking down the monuments you’ve erected that blot out your accurate view of God.

As followers of Jesus, we should understand that as Paul tell us under grace we are new creatures. The old man is passed away. This means we can start over with a new slate – God says His mercies are new each morning. (I think that’s because like coffee, we need a full dose of mercy each day to get us though the day!) We have to choose to leave the judging to God. We have to choose to forgive. That is sometimes the hardest thing to do.

He talked about how he didn’t have an affectionate father. How he discovered this was a monument he built that affected his dealings and relationships with every other man he came in contact with, including his own son. So he had to demolish that monument, let the loss die, and learn to forgive like Jesus. He had to love his father (his dad was great, just not affectionate) like Jesus wanted him to, in truth. He said letting go is sometimes very hard because we try to rationalize with our mind and emotions why the monument is there and what it’s for. Just let go.

Why on Earth did it take 8-year-old me 2 years after realizing that what I was doing was wrong to forgive some bully from when I was 5? I carried that bitterness against him for 5 years! Half of my life at that time I held what probably amounted to hatred for that one boy – why? It didn’t do anything to him. My rational self told my mind that he likely forgot about the incident five minutes after it happened. Yet I carried this stupid bitterness in my heart for 5 years over nothing? I couldn’t explain to my 10-year-old self why.

I know now it was because we are all born in sin, forgiveness is something we have to learn. The only one who can teach true forgiveness is Jesus. Let yourself go. Let others go. Find the monuments you’ve built to sin in your life and destroy them – you might have to get help and that’s okay. Jesus says all things are possible through Him. You can find peace.

Move forward.

You can’t go backward in time. You can’t erase what you did or said – delete, undo, and backspace don’t work in real life.

You have to find the sin monuments you have built against yourself or someone else and eradicate them.

Let your bitterness go. Love fully. Choose forgiveness!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart