nicknames – Nancy Tart: Writing for Life

January 23, 2022

Lucas’ Balls

(Note: This is a timewarp story from May 25, 2017. ENJOY!)

Vegetables are a fun subject for writers. Toss in toddlers and you have instant comedy. For example:

Lucas loves to eat. We tease that if it doesn’t eat him first, he’ll eat it! (Okay, maybe not that bad, but he will try to eat popcorn kernels, cantaloupe rinds, sweet potato skins, and even bones – yes, he tries to eat the bones!)

At the produce market, we’re loading up on yummy veggies to have sitting around for my amazing chef/babysitter/awesome sister to create dinner with. Lucas loves to help. He’s tossing perfect Sebago potatoes into the bag (he never misses), squishes a pepper (we’re buying this one) with “Yummy! Green strings!” (If we chop peppers he eats them raw), and “yeah! Sticks!” as we bag carrots (which he tries to eat before they are weighed). Despite Mom continually repeating the accurate name of any vegetable or fruit in the world, Lucas appears to prefer his own made-up nicknames for everything. (Onions are “ouch,” pumpkins are “pies,” and broccoli are “trees” or “flowers”)

At the counter, Jaquline helps lay out our items while telling the manager what each vegetable is. Manager stops setting Brussels Sprouts in pint baskets to ring our items; he is chomping on fresh cherries. Lucas points at the basket, he’s super excited (Brussels Sprouts, roasted or raw, are his favorite). “Mommy, PLEASE BALLS!”

“Lucas, we already have your balls in the bag,” Jaquline informs instantly, while showing him a bag of said vegetable (using the nickname I have tried to eradicate). Mr. Manager’s face is crimson. He pops another cherry in his mouth (maybe he hopes everyone will think the red came from the cherry). A couple at the back of the store chuckle.

“Yes, we are getting Brussels Sprouts, Lucas,” I say calmly, trying to decide if I want to become microscopic or be proud that he loves his veggies aka balls. I’m sure my face matches the cherries too. (I’m beginning to think this is why my teenagers remain outside the store.)

As we pay, Mr. Manager neatly boxes everything up, scoops up a handful of cherries, slides them in a baggie and deposits them in Lucas’ reach with: “here’s some snacks for my favorite customer who loves balls” and winks at him.

Teenagers! Boys! I don’t know which is worse. “Daddy!” as we get home, Lucas shrieks, “look what we got, balls!” “Yummy balls,” he grins. I amend my thoughts to include, men!

But, yes, this is hilariously funny and I’m sure we will laugh about Lucas’ weird names for everything one day… if I can live through it!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

January 19, 2022

A Visit to the Campus

(Note: This post was written November 30, 2021 when whomever had decided my computer’s operating system can’t load wordpress anymore – or any other website haha!)

We found ourselves ending the month with a visit to the Palatka campus of St John’s River State College. Becky and Kimberly were doing college stuff. The littles and not-so-littles-anymore found themselves doing schoolwork at a stone table in the warm sunshine on a frosty morning. By 11am, though, it had warmed enough to allow for shedding of jackets. (This is Florida anyway, locals know autumn calls for bundle with layers in the morning, regular clothes by noon, swimsuit at 2pm, all clothing back on by 6pm, and windbreakers at 8.)

Lucas took a little stuffed animal and started playing hike (his version of one-boy football).

Thea yells, “look, scissors jumps!” *does a few scissors jumps, “tuck jumps!” *does a few tuck jumps (I’m impressed, she’s landing on both feet simultaneously) and other gymnastics steps as she stays in “the warmness” (aka sunshine).

Jillian finishes with bases and exponents after too many, “Mom! X equals what am I doing?” because when she’s in a hurry, she forgets to read the directions. She promptly joins in the grassland fun (now Lucas and Jillian start a wrestling match).

Jaquline lags a bit behind as “poetry has too many grammar errors!” (Her assignment is to edit the grammar errors and rewrite.)

We meet people we know! (Okay, people whose children I know.) Lucas lands in a prickly bush and waddles up with “prickles in my butt like Pooh” (Pooh Bear landing in a gorse bush, anyone?) which I have to pick off without laughing.

Jillian wants to do pull ups on the big tree limbs but can’t reach them. Even with her biggest high jump, she is still too short. Jaquline’s attempt to help her up is hilarious.

Thea plays with squinkies at the stone table. Jillian says “both college schools have stone tables.” (They had given nicknames to places we did school at the Saint Augustine campus before Christina was a driver.) Lucas “made friends” with the ants – not something I would suggest.

Throwback pictures to The Tortuga aka the gazebo over the center of the water at the Saint Augustine Campus of St Johns River State College.

I love how my children can find entertainment in any situation. From grass, trees, imagination, or teeny tiny toys they bring along with them everywhere; there is always something to do even if we are at a brand new college campus on a lazy late autumn day!

Thank you for reading,

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Tag: nicknames

Lucas’ Balls (Timewarp Story)

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A Visit to the Campus

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