January 16, 2019
Determination versus Stubbornness
Your perception (how you look at something) certainly affects your outlook on things that come into your life.
For instance: you can see your child’s stubborn refusal to allow you to fasten their shoes as pure rebellion. (And it may well be.)
Or you can choose to think (as they fumble with the laces for the sixth time and you know their 3-year-old hands are not quite ready for tying shoelaces – but he just has to wear big sister’s purple shoes because they “fit better,” which they don’t) “Wow, he is determined to do it himself.”
Stubbornness versus determination.
Those two character traits really are the same thing, only when we choose to see something as determination, we see it in a positive light. When we choose to see something as stubbornness, we think of that action negatively.
Our perception of those character traits causes our outlook when we see them in use to either be positive or negative.
I wish I could say I always manage to see the positive, but unfortunately, no. On this occasion, I was in a hurry to get going and my first reaction was frustration at his stubbornness. I almost reacted with that first thought, but reconsidered as one shoe was flung from foot to shoe cubby.
“Is it too hard to tie?” I asked.
Lucas’ response when he can’t do something is to fume in silence and embarrassment.
“Maybe we should leave Jillian’s shoes so she can use them and use your brown boots instead.”
Lucas perked up; his “brown boots” are high-top (boots) sneakers with a camo strip and three strong Velcro closures. (I love that someone who studied burrs on his dog’s fur created Velcro!) Lucas knows he can put those shoes on himself.
“I put them on myself!” Lucas announced once his feet were shod.
Determination.
Someday, because of his determination, he will be putting on lace-up sneakers and tying them – hopefully, though, it will be another pair instead of big sister’s obviously feminine shoes.
Thanks for reading!
Type at you next time…
~Nancy Tart
