A Writer’s Character Secret

Writing is an outlet for emotional and logical discussions for me.  When no one wants to talk about what I want to work out in my mind, I write.  I write for relaxation. 

A Writer’s Character Secret

September 21, 2022

Writing is an outlet for emotional and logical discussions for me.  When no one wants to talk about what I want to work out in my mind, I write.  I write for relaxation.  It feels fun, challenging, and often makes me happy to be in my ”book worlds” I have made up. 

For me, my “book worlds” allow me to explore things I can’t in this life.  It’s like dreaming with my eyes open.  I switch from book in progress to book in progress – I am currently working on about 18 titles actively.  My mood in real life decides whom I want to step into in my brain.  I know where each of my characters are in the stories – I know where I left them.  Thus, I reread the last few paragraphs and dive in with whatever comes next. 

Like my teenage self – lots of writing done then.  I started when my father noticed I was “wasting” my school notebooks for stories, and he suggested I type them.  I had a shoebox filled with 3.5”disks containing three or four stories each! 

Imagine:

Her frustrations, emotions, dreams, adventurous spirit, and everything hidden deep within her as she worked her way through these books were laid out in her own stories tapped at a furiously increasing pace in MS Works on her father’s computer saved on a 3.5” disk.  Her first completed story was her take on a true abortion survivor story.  She became her characters.  Her characters acted out and solved the problems she was facing.  She talked and acted her characters and plotlines out while raking, mowing, or gardening in various locations.  She was Erakk.  Fighting to keep his character sound when faced with odd decisions he’d rather avoid.  She was Jordan.  Her desperate heart cry to be understood and learn how to teach bloomed from his soul in what was to become “Web of Deception.”  She was Kelly.  She was the girl struggling to lead and keep everyone together as their tiny band of outcast survivors developed a whole new world of peace and love.  She became Kelly.  The woman who mothers with an understanding she has gained from life and full dependence on Jesus.  She was Kalina.  She boiled with anger and frustration at not being allowed to do the things she desired with every fiber of her being and ended up learning that what she really wanted was only a small step in a journey back to what her elders had advised her to reach for in the first place.  She was Ethan.  An outcast in his own mind searching quietly for a sense of belonging he thinks he can make on his own despite the true reality that those close to him care deeply for him.  She was Jamie.  Facing challenges that feel too far above his age and making choices that defy the expectations of those above him; always choosing the answer of integrity and honor.  She became Philip.  Overcoming challenges in life that happened beyond his control yet bringing everyone along and pushing his family through to success in the end.  She was Jo.  Fiercely defending her sister from evils that trick the heart and destroy those close to her – blinding everyone except her.  She was Jason.  Defending his family from evils that weaseled their way into his family from years of incorrect choices by three generations behind him that build to forcing his father into being possessed into something he isn’t – now he has to choose to believe that the threads he holds onto are his father’s true self and force the evil away. 

The stories continue.  Some are finished.  Some may never be…

A writer puts himself into the shoes of his characters and wriggles his toes around.  We walk lifetimes in their shoes.  We put ourselves in each character we create. 

I always have a character in a book or series that I consider my shadow; sometimes it is the protagonist like Jordan in Web of Deception.  Sometimes it is a supporting character like Philip Duggar in Brantley Station Saga or Kelly in The Devonians. 

Oftentimes there are bits of me in each character.  Strange thoughts…

I know, crazy writer’s brain, but that’s what I feel.  That’s what it’s like to write for me. 

If you stuck through this one, thank you ever so much for reading!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Growing Little Love

June 1, 2020

Growing Little Love

Thea is getting independent by giant leaps.  I don’t do the whole months thing unless I have to (I love math, but “over one” is just as good as “fourteen point two five months” as far as describing my baby’s age goes) so when people ask, she’s one.

Lucas gets a new bike, and Thea has to try it!

Lucas gets a water balloon maker (thank you, Grandma! The grenades have shredded latex shrapnel all over the yard – so Thea likes to clean all the pieces up)… and Thea is right alongside them filling up balloons.

At the beach she’s looking for shells with Becky and running into the surf with Lucas – not as far as Lucas, at least she still got a healthy fear of the deep!

Building a cage?  Oh yes, Thea is right there trying to screw in the wood… well, Mommy and Lucas were using this tool on the wood: Thea just hasn’t figured out screwdrivers drive screws!

Grandma brought a pool – “Mommy!” Thea wants it set up so she can splash!

Daddy gets stakes for the garden… Thea is helping him drag them to the right spot!

Thea loves her shoes (Thank you, Jesus! Finally a child who wants her feet covered outside!) and will bring them to her bigger siblings since she can only get her feet partway in and she knows that isn’t proper. …and reading – she loves anything Becky is reading. (Actually, anything Becky is doing!)

I love watching them grow.  I drove Christina and a friend to another friend’s graduation and his mom mentioned how much Thea has grown.  I can already see her at 16 and graduating in a year like her eldest sister… time flies.  Enjoy every minute with them! 

Life has taught me, fortunately at a young age, that we are not promised tomorrow.  The byproduct is that I am frank, honest, and don’t hide my care and concern for those I love.  I try to remember that each time I speak to someone may be the last – I have lost many people and none of my losses are plagued with regret at the last words spoken.  I pray that I keep love first.

I watch my younglings grow and I continually pray that I am guided to teach them how to live without regrets.  To love honestly, to speak in that love, to always stand for truth, to live life taking risks so as never to say, “I regret…” wistfully thinking of some word or action they wanted to do but decided against.  I pray they guard their hearts from evil and think on positive things.

I watch Thea grow, as I’ve watched each of the others and my younger siblings, I smile at her growing independence and blooming personality.  I am so thankful and humbled that God blessed us with the honor of raising our children and leading each of them toward their own way. Our time with them is short. Enjoy every moment.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Movie Review: Onward

April 12, 2020

Movie Review: Onward

As a family, we got to watch a new movie called “Onward” (Disney/Pixar) recently.  Curled up on our couch, eating tangerines instead of popcorn, we also got to discuss this movie during the end credits.

I was pleasantly surprised at this movie. 

(Spoiler Alert! If you haven’t seen the movie and want to watch it without knowing the end, don’t read any further!)

In this technologically advanced world that mirrors our own, mythical creatures have lost their magic and settled for the easier way of doing almost everything.  Fairies don’t fly. Centaurs don’t run fast. Elves don’t go on quests.  Wizards don’t exist. 

The only relics of magic are mirrored in a game that young adults play like our Dungeons and Dragons.

The protagonist is a 16-year-old elf named Ian whose older brother, Bailey, is lost to this “gaming” world and set a little in the past with his audio cassette tapes and 70s roadie van he built himself like a hot-rod.  Ian never knew his father.  His mother’s centaur policeman boyfriend is a far cry from the father figure he is looking for. 

After a bummer of a birthday, Ian and Bailey are given a special present from their late father – a staff and crystal and a spell that supposedly will let him come back for 24 hours to see who his boys grew up to be.

So the spell doesn’t work.  Mom leaves.  Bailey enters as Ian is actually making the spell work – and enters half-dad.  Yes, Ian brought back a walking pair of pants with purple socks and leather shoes.  Bailey knows it’s his dad because of a tap-tap on shoes game they used to play. 

The boys go on a quest (based on Bailey’s game knowledge) to find another crystal and bring their father all the way back.

They end up finding the crystal but releasing a curse (huge dragon made of weird stones pulled from their school and a construction site) as the sun is going down (when dad will disappear). 

Ian has realized that his real father figure is Bailey and that Bailey is the one who must speak with dad because he blames himself for being scared of the hospital and missed his chance to say goodbye to his dad in real life.  Ian starts the spell to bring dad back and leaves him with Bailey so he can fight the dragon.  Mom and a manticore bring in a magic sword to kill the dragon (she was on her own side quest).  Through teamwork, the curse is destroyed, Ian uses magic to repair all of the dragon damage, Bailey gets to say goodbye to his dad, and magic reenters the lives of some of the people; the biker fairies are now flying, policeman centaur boyfriend is now running, and Ian now is a wizard.

The theme is love: Mom’s love for her sons and the brother’s love for each other.  The lesson of enjoying what you have instead of wishing for what you don’t is also there.  Ian wishes for the father he’s never known and wants to be like him while ignoring or disregarding his elder brother until he realizes that all the love he was searching for in a father figure has been coming from his brother all of his life. 

We discussed how it is very easy to focus on what we want but don’t have yet miss what God has given us.  In every situation, our character shines with how we choose to handle said situation.  I choose to focus on what is with me now.  Right now, I’m thankful to still have a job when so many I know are suddenly unemployed.  I’m thankful to be able to play more board and outside games with Christina and Becky – all the girls, but they had started to get heavily involved in extracurricular activities and with Christina driving, I had seen less and less of her.  Forced online college courses and the closing of CAP and the gym mean I get to hang out with her more.  I’m enjoying what I have.

Live your life enjoying what you are given and love your family with a sacrificial love: that’s our take from “Onward,” a very entertaining, slightly funny, kid safe movie with real truths embedded in it.

Thank you for reading.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Determination Versus Stubbornness

Can our perception affect whether we interpret the same character trait as either positive or negative?

January 16, 2019

Determination versus Stubbornness

Your perception (how you look at something) certainly affects your outlook on things that come into your life.

For instance: you can see your child’s stubborn refusal to allow you to fasten their shoes as pure rebellion.  (And it may well be.)

Or you can choose to think (as they fumble with the laces for the sixth time and you know their 3-year-old hands are not quite ready for tying shoelaces – but he just has to wear big sister’s purple shoes because they “fit better,” which they don’t) “Wow, he is determined to do it himself.”

Stubbornness versus determination.

Those two character traits really are the same thing, only when we choose to see something as determination, we see it in a positive light.  When we choose to see something as stubbornness, we think of that action negatively.

Our perception of those character traits causes our outlook when we see them in use to either be positive or negative.

I wish I could say I always manage to see the positive, but unfortunately, no.  On this occasion, I was in a hurry to get going and my first reaction was frustration at his stubbornness.  I almost reacted with that first thought, but reconsidered as one shoe was flung from foot to shoe cubby.

“Is it too hard to tie?” I asked.

Lucas’ response when he can’t do something is to fume in silence and embarrassment.

“Maybe we should leave Jillian’s shoes so she can use them and use your brown boots instead.”

Lucas perked up; his “brown boots” are high-top (boots) sneakers with a camo strip and three strong Velcro closures. (I love that someone who studied burrs on his dog’s fur created Velcro!)  Lucas knows he can put those shoes on himself.

“I put them on myself!” Lucas announced once his feet were shod.

Determination.

Someday, because of his determination, he will be putting on lace-up sneakers and tying them – hopefully, though, it will be another pair instead of big sister’s obviously feminine shoes.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Dress Shopping

Dress Shopping for my eldest girl’s first dance. “I’m Losing My Mind!”

September 30, 2018

Dress Shopping

The alternate title to today’s blog could be: AHHHHHHH!!  I have a teenage girl going to a dance!  I’m losing my mind!  (Yelled like the Dad in “Signs” as they are chasing the “Wolfington Brothers” out of the yard.)

Granted, she will be fifteen when she’s going.  (YIKES!)

And, yes, that picture of her is my favorite.  She dresses up and wins “best dressed,” but she’s way more at home in jeans, t-shirt, clean face, and some weapon strapped to her (jacket in the picture because it was literally freezing).  So “I’m going to a homecoming dance” seems really foreign.  (This is the same kid who built all of the Lord of the Rings weapons from wood 4 years ago… Gimli’s ax, Gandolf’s staff, Legolas’ bow, Aragon’s sword, etc.)

I’m a bit irritated that we allowed her to go thinking she could have an adult chaperone and the school doesn’t allow a parent or uncle to attend.  (They will have to deal with Mom & 5 younger siblings watching every episode of “Torchlighters” and “The Greatest Adventure Stories” in the parking lot in the van – and likely having their own dance party like we do when waiting for her at CAP.)

You know, I’m just an overprotective parent who doesn’t like the idea of dropping a non-driving teen off at an unknown school 45 minutes from her house in an area that has no local cabs.  I always had an “exit strategy” when I went somewhere by myself and unknown.  Granted, I never had to use it, but always had it preplanned.

Since I can’t rent an apache helicopter for the night, my kiddie-loaded van will have to do.

Back to the shopping.

I’m not much into shopping – or thought I wasn’t.  I go in with a list and nothing else touches my buggy.  It better be on the list next time.  Today, the list includes three burning words “Christina’s green dress.”  (I should write to Professor VonDrake: Dear Doctor, HHHEEEEELLLLPPPP!)

Six thrift stores, lots of very helpful ladies, and almost three hours later, we find it – of course, at the place we originally thought would be most likely to have it.  (Thank you, Betty Griffin Thrift!)  Not only did we find the perfect dress, but also found the perfect shoes to go with it and a pair of sneakers for two who needed sneakers… and dresses & shoes were half off.  (Thank you, Jesus!)  Becky even found a “snake light” with gator-colored lamps and it was also half-off! (I instantly thought Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark and some snake-headed apparatus, but it seems “snake light” means the lamps are attached to the stand with bendable metal.)  We have been looking for a lamp for the dining room for a little over a year and a half.  I’m very happy leaving decorating up to Becky because she always finds stuff that Louis approves of.  (My attempts at interior decoration resemble the outcome of Doris Day’s frustration when redecorating “Rex Stetson’s” apartment in “Pillow Talk.”)

Total damage at all 6 shops combined: 20 pencils, 2 expo markers, a sharpie, some crayons, 5 red pens, a school box, four pairs of shoes (three sneakers, one dress), five shirts, two skirts, one pair of shorts, formal dress, standing snake lamp, 5 extra bulbs, and one extra bowl (matched our current set).  This ran us $38.  I love thrift store shopping!

The girls used their own money to buy things like: a Barbie doll, two birthday gifts for Christina, four baby stuffed animals, a wallet, toys for the “Treasure box” at Sunday School, and some assorted other items.

Lucas was happy, showing everyone his “new shoes” through the last three stores.

I’ve discovered I do enjoy shopping, when I’m hunting something specific and spending time with my children.  I certainly enjoy family time – even if the other girls are all constantly teasing Christina and a wee voice in my brain is screaming, “I’m not ready for a going-out teenager!”

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Hand-Me-Downs

A radio talk show guy’s comment made me ponder my absolute love of hand-me-downs and thrift shops.

September 4, 2018

Hand-Me-Downs

Driving to pick up a long-distance call, I was listening to Christian talk radio.  A guy comes on talking about how he and his family love hand-me-downs.

I can totally relate!  All my life I’ve loved, and lived in, hand-me-downs.  When my kids get a bag of clothes, they all get excited.  It’s sorting, trying on, modeling, and deciding how to “fix” something they love to make it fit (sewing skills).  Anything we can’t use (and everything we grow out of or don’t have room for) gets passed on.   We only allow them to keep what they can fit “in their drawers” and on their bit of hanging rack space.   Rebeccah, who loves shoes, has created some interesting storage adaptations to stretch her allotted space to keep extra shoes.

Kids grow so fast!  At one stage, Kimberly jumped through one full shoe size every month for about six months!  During this same time, Jaquline sprouted through three shirt sizes and Rebeccah’s legs stretched by nearly a foot!

We had quite a few bags of shoes and clothes to give away!  Most, we had received as hand-me-downs but they looked practically new!  Lots of happy kids got to pass around clothes in this growth spurt.  The girls like to plan who can get their clothes – if anyone we know needs them, if anyone is their size and is okay with used clothing, or if they know a friend who “loved” some outfit.  Otherwise, we donate to Alpha-Omega or Betty Griffin Thrift.

The radio talk show guy was mentioning that he was super excited one day because a friend gave him some amazing hand-me-downs that were almost new and stylish.  He was showing one off at work and realized he was wearing the emblem for a college he didn’t attend!  So he almost felt embarrassed telling a coworker it was a hand-me-down.  Then, he stopped.  He said we are to be good stewards and trading clothing around if it still has wear in it is being a good steward of the materials (less waste) and finances (less purchases made).   He told his coworker that the money he and his family saved on clothing allowed them to give more financially to charities they supported.

I had never thought of our hand-me-downs as “good stewardship” in that way!  I have always told others that it saves waste (why throw something away when someone else can use it?) and it stretches our budget.  I never actually thought of what I do with the money I save.

We do give a lot of what we make, sometimes we end up giving more in time than in money, but we still help in a lot of places monetarily.

When we do buy clothes, it’s usually underwear (I do buy that new from target on “clearance,” it seems some character is always going out of style), sneakers, or jeans.  We go to the thrift shops on the day when said clothing is x% off or wait for an end-of-season sale (thrift shops do that too).  So, annually, we spend about $300 on all 8 of us.

I never really thought about how much money I’d spend without hand-me-downs.  Using thrift shop prices (I still wouldn’t buy new): I figured that for each growing child, I’d spend about $80 twice a year, and for each adult, I’d spend about $40 a year (what we already buy from thrift stores can’t be counted as savings).  So for our family, that would be about (160×6)+(40×2)=$1,040 annually in addition to the $300 we already spend!

$1,040 is almost a rent payment.

That’s about three weeks’ of work.

Then I realized that I never buy anything new – furniture, animal cages, books, movies, games, toys, yarns, craft stuff… the list is endless.  Except for food, most cell phones, a few tools, the coffee maker, most mattresses, and one computer, we’ve taken hand-me-downs or bought resale items when it comes to everything else.  And we donate what we no longer need.  Oh yeah, and the drum set was new – Louis got a full size eight piece drum set on a clearance sale for $120 about 10 years ago.

We save for items we want (like our couch).  We had a hand-me-down one that served great for a while, but Louis wanted a big one that all of us could sit on at once and it would double as a kid bed when guests came.  We ended up saving and finally bought a really nice used sectional that had two backless sections that doubled as storage (bonus & I love dual-purpose!) and seats six adults without using the backless parts – it was on clearance at Alpha-Omega Thrift so we spent only $165 of the $200 we’d saved for it.  (Yes, Louis was shopping, so we ended up buying $35 of future birthday gifts while we were there.) And one of my sisters said “let me crash here, this is comfy!”

The radio guy quoted the scripture about “where your treasure is, there your heart is also.”

Yes, my treasures are in my children, my family, my friends, the really important things in life.  Our hand-me-down and thrift-store lifestyle helps me to understand that even though we have some cool stuff, it’s just temporary and I’m not really concerned with it.  I mentally note that I’m wearing sandals from one sister, a skirt Christina grew out of that was a hand-me-down from a friend, and a shirt from another sister… all hand-me-downs!

I’m sure the radio guy is right.  Our family is able to do as much giving as we do because we don’t spend “full retail” on temporary items.  Our treasure is in heaven.  Our treasure is the character growing in our six awesome blessings on loan from God…

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

 

My Civil Air Patrol Cadet

July 12, 2018

My Civil Air Patrol Cadet

One day Louis was driving past the Saint Augustine Civil Air Patrol building and saw cadets marching around in uniform.  He stopped, asked them what they were, and raced home to tell Christina that he found the perfect activity for her.

She is my flying nut.  She loves planes.  Just like Lucas loves anything with wheels – she loves anything that flies (except mosquitoes and no-see-ums).  Better said; Christina loves anything mechanical that flies.

She’d studied famous flying people, physics, beat her way through math, and taken a helicopter tour for her birthday.  She’d talked with pilots as Louis shuttled them to the airport from their hotels.

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She had the time of her life when some friends took her to the Jacksonville Air Show! (Photo credit above & below – Hannah Clark & crew)

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The poster from that day was the first one tacked to her wall.

So, she “visited” the CAP meetings with Louis for three weeks – but Wednesday morning after her first meeting, she was like, “Mom, I’m going to join Civil Air Patrol.”  Of course, Christina’s decisions are never small – “I’m going to get to officer rank and they have all these things I can learn so I can get into programs to help me learn to fly…” and she continued talking me through the book and information someone had given her.

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She is a scrimping saver and refused any help with CAP dues, fees, or for her first uniform.  (This is a point of pride for her – to be able to cover all her own expenses.  She saw God’s love in action, though, when she thought she wouldn’t be able to go to winter encampment but our amazing church family gave her enough money for the trip and the extra items needed!)

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CAP gave her a grant to go toward buying her first blues uniform though – something about earning a certain rank.  (These are my borrowed shoes for her first day wearing blues.  Her real ones have a one inch heel and no decoration.)

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Lucas loves Christina’s uniform – especially the caps (aka, covers).

Thanks to CAP, Christina has matured greatly in social interaction (you can order younger siblings around all day, but it is different ordering someone else around!).  She is more confident, more physically active, emotionally and physically stronger, and enjoying the company of respectful, goal-driven, encouraging fellow cadets.

Our family has learned some new terms: water is hydration, anything not a uniform is civies, a funny backpack with a water bag inside and a fishtank-hose looking straw hanging around the cadet’s neck is a camelback, among others.

 

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We’ve swelled with pride watching our cadet march in parades (even if we only get a picture of her back half hidden behind another cadet)…

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…assist veterans in her blues…

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…and attend encampment as a student…

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…and staff.

She’s constantly challenging herself to new higher limits – one day, I’m sure, she’ll touch the sky!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

 

 

 

 

 

Filling Big Shoes

July 31, 2017

Filling Big Shoes

We are always trying to be like someone.  Lucas is two.  He is always trying to do “like Daddy” or “like Becky” (what he calls Rebeccah sometimes) or “like you do.” (that can be anyone)  When Daddy got his hair cut, Lucas wanted “Daddy hair.”  When Jillian is coloring, Lucas wants to “color like big me.” When Christina is cooking bacon – BACON!  Lucas pulled out the bacon from the refrigerator before Christina had finished putting the pan on the stove!  He was jumping around, yelling “BACON!  My BACON!”  (We’ve never seen him this excited over food since the last night we made popcorn.)  After discovering that the pan was too hot for him to play with the bacon, he ran through the house telling everyone “Tina making my BACON!” and jumped on Daddy yelling, “BACON!  Me eat BACON DADDY!”

Although we girls laugh, I see this passion for food rather neat.  Lucas does everything with 110% excitement and passion.  He likes watching Wild Kratts.  When that comes on he jumps up and down and yells, “YEAH!  Animal movie!”  (Actually, that can be any well-done nature documentary that shows actual animals – I can’t wait to show him “A Zebra in the Kitchen!”)  He dances with joy when he’s happy.  He wants to be like everyone around him.

We were getting ready for a date one night and Louis set his Sunday shoes down in Lucas’ reach.  (Lucas had a pair of black dress shoes that looked like Daddy’s.)  Lucas climbed into them and said, “my Daddy’s shoes!  My shoes!”  He walked around the house for a while telling the girls “Me Daddy in Daddy’s shoes.”  Of course, they played along with this asking, “Daddy, can I go…”  Lucas has learned to laugh and say “why?” with his lips stuck out.

In the way a child wants to be like their parents, grandparents, or big siblings, we should want to be more like Jesus.  It may be comical for us to see a toddler in big shoes, trying to fill them, but being woefully short, but in the same way, we do not start our journey of faith fully filling the “shoes” we perceive ourselves trying to fill.  We aren’t perfect.  We try to walk as close as we can to Jesus.  Our aim is to fill the “shoes” God has given us.  Our role, our mission, our goal.  Our life here is a gift and we should enjoy it with passion!

Sometimes it’s rather funny what type of thoughts I have when I watch my toddler on his exploration of life!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

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