dresser – Nancy Tart: Writing for Life

February 13, 2020

Temporary Home

Sometimes music just hits me. I love to listen to songs of all kinds. One of my newest favorites was from a movie we watched a little bit ago – “Speechless.” Even though as an analyst I understand that wouldn’t have been accurate for the culture, still, it was perfect for the movie and absolutely perfect for viewing children to understand that they have to stand up for what they believe regardless of their culture.

Today, riding home, I heard one I’ve always loved but haven’t really heard in a while. Carrie Underwood’s “Temporary Home.” But today I couldn’t stop crying through the song because I could see real people in all stages of the song. In my mind I saw three little children I knew (the little boy), my sister before she died (the single mom), and my Daddy (the old man) – only my mind altered the words to say “old man, chair at home, surrounded by people he loves…” and the image was of all of us at the last Christmas when we were all together.

I can’t stop crying when I hear this song now. Even thinking about it.

My family is (fingers crossed, prayers for God’s will regardless if it is ours) in the process of trying to be approved for a new home in a development that comes with a nature park as a backyard and friends we already know and love as neighbors all up and down our future street.

Regardless of whether we get approved, any house we live in is temporary.

See, I moved all over the place as a youth. 19 times in 19 years (no, not every year, longest in one spot was 2 years 9 days). I always found new adventure and opportunities in each new place.

But I wanted my children to have roots.

When we bought our house, I counted out 2 years and 10 days on our calendar and circled it with smiley faces. It meant so much to me to be in one place. God taught me a lot when we faced the loss of our company, our house, our stuff, our income, and what felt like our future – mostly by means out of our control. One bank gambling that we’d have a chunk set aside (which we would have if we hadn’t just had to pay all of it to cover one driver when wrecked because she drove without our permission while upset) meant that they would accept nothing less – we couldn’t get a loan for the amount our house was “underwater,” because so many foreclosures around us (almost every property sold in our area in the last 3 years had been a foreclosure) had dropped our property from being worth $150K to $83K. Even the lawyer said there was nothing we could do.

God taught me to let go.

Let go of my dreams of one place my whole life…

Let go of my trees, roses, things I had tended for 10 years…

Let go of our animal graveyard where we had lovely trees planted over each of the foster animals whose last home we had been…

Let go of my little farm I loved…

Let go of things that we’d collected…

Let go of our repaired table that had been Louis’ parents, the chandelier Louis gave me for the first birthday I had in our house, the big-screen TV Louis had wanted since we got married but we had finally saved and bought for him the past Christmas, the beds that had been my brother’s and were now my children’s, dressers that had been mine and Katy’s and were now Christina and Becky’s, dressers that my Daddy brought for Becca when I was 13 and now were my dresser/mirror, Kimberly’s dresser, and our shoe cabinet, the baby cradle that my Daddy had bought for my Mom when she was pregnant with me – it had rocked every one of my siblings, a few of my children, and was their stuffed animal bed now…

Each felt like a stab to my heart then. Now? I couldn’t care less about stuff. I’m thankful we got to keep Daddy’s surfboard, the girls’ schoolbooks, their legos, and when the auction people came out and took our one vehicle they asked how we got around and Louis told them “the bikes” – so they left the 6 bicycles and the baby bike trailer by writing “rusted and very poor” over the “bicycles” on the list. (Honestly, every one of them except for Louis’ had come off the side of the road and were rusted, repainted, repaired, etc. so likely not worth any real money.)

Temporary.

All of those things are temporary.

The only thing that is permanent is our relationships – love.

Any house we buy will be our temporary home. We will fill it with love whatever size it is. Yes, we’re praying for a spot with at least 5 bedrooms where the children can at least break into 3-2-2 because I’d like a baby room for Thea and Lucas and we want a “guest bedroom/Grandma suite” because we look long-term at something we’ll be buying for 15 to 30 years! The big girls want to come back and stay as they go through college and until they buy their own home after their careers are established (and Mom is totally okay with that!).

Temporary Home.

If Daddy had heard that song, I’m sure we would have discussed how true it is. I’m reminded of him all the time. I want to discuss the issues arising in my professional career – crossroads that I’m not sure if I’m making the logical or the heart decision. I miss his advice! I heard another country song I’ve heard dozens of times about visiting hours in heaven… Oh wow, do I wish I could just talk to my Daddy again!

Someday we all will leave our temporary home. What will be left is our legacy – our love – our heart. Those we have touched. The memories we made. I pray I make the right decisions daily so that I leave as much of my heart, love, and truth as a legacy for those who love me.

Thanks for Reading!

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

September 6, 2018

Organization for Clothing

I like things organized.

I also can’t stand washing tons of clothing.

One day I’d finally finished with 7 loads of clothing and walked back to the barracks (girls’ bedroom) to check on something… and walked onto a four-inch-thick carpet of folded clothing just dropped on the floor! (Rebeccah’s and Christina’s bed were quilted with their clothing!)

Instantly, I was like, “come put your clothes in your drawers!”

Five voices replied with, “There’s no room.”

Lightbulb! They have too many clothes.

We had just moved from a house where clothing storage wasn’t an issue. We had two large closets, plenty of hanging space, and a full dresser for each girl. Now the barracks had two dressers where three had three drawers on the smaller one and two had two on the larger one. They had enough space for their play clothes in the drawers while the small closet had enough space for everyone’s hanging nice clothes.

At least, it originally had enough room.

But we love hand-me-downs. And my kids sometimes don’t want to admit they have grown out of something so it sits in their drawers.

Lightbulb! I can do this and teach them organizational skills!

I already intercepted and tossed torn or otherwise destroyed clothes on their way to the washer (this led Christina to doing her own laundry because she LOVED certain clothes and keeps nighttime outfits until they literally fall apart), if anything no longer met the clothing modesty guidelines, it was altered, donated, or handed to the next in line, and shoes had to fit in the shoe compartments (everyone has two cubicles) – notice the flip-flops are community property.

Rebeccah loves shoes, so do you see that polka-dotted sheet on one corner of her bed? That hides a small cardboard box in which she keeps her special shoes! (It’s out of reach of the dress-up crowd & saved so the polish doesn’t get scuffed.)

We started doing what I already do to my clothes every month. Purging.

For the next eight months, we used this system. I have a list of “necessaries,” otherwise known as clothes they should have. We would start on a day when all the laundry was complete. Starting with the oldest, she’d bring in her clothes and go through them to make sure she still fit and wanted them, retiring destroyed stuff to the garbage, putting aside items she had outgrown, and packing away stuff she didn’t want anymore. She’d pick out the necessaries, put them away, and fill the space with whatever else she wanted. Anything extra went in the donate pile.

The next in line would repeat, with the option of augmenting her supply with otherwise “donated” items from previous big sister.

Necessities: Five bottoms (two must be jeans), five tops, one church outfit, one long sleeve “jacket,” seven pairs of underwear and socks, two nighttime outfits, one pair of sneakers, and one pair of church shoes.

All the above fit into one of the drawers and on two hangers easily, so there was plenty of leftover space for other clothes.

This system gave them inspiration to roll or fold their clothing in order to keep everything fitting well. Lucas has only one drawer and he keeps everything neat!

This system lasted only eight months because by that time, all of them were purging their own stashes as needed. We didn’t have to make it a monthly event anymore. Even Lucas will put a shirt on and if it’s too tight, he will pull it off, say “time for someone else to wear you,” and lay it on my bed. (His drawer is in my bedroom.)

Kimberly and Rebeccah love having lots of choices, so they utilize more of the hanging space than Jaquline and Jillian. Christina’s hanging space is loaded with CAP uniforms, and a couple of dresses from her aunts which she claims “I’ll never wear, but I keep just in case.”

Our system has only backfired once so far: when Christina was planning for encampment, she was required to have 12 undecorated t-shirts in two specific colors plus 6 “workout shirts” (additional plain t-shirts!). We had to search every thrift and resale shop in Saint Augustine for enough tan, black, and white t-shirts! When she got back there was the issue of keeping them stored – Christina didn’t want to hang them all or give them away since she planned on going to future encampments so she just rolled them in her luggage bag and hung it in the closet! It took less space than 18 hangers.

Going backward: I was about 14, stood in front of my mobile closet (clothes rack), and spent almost fifteen minutes deciding what to wear! That started me on the lifestyle of keeping necessities, only a few other items with specific purposes that fit into whatever clothes storage system I had, and routinely donating what I couldn’t fit or didn’t want. Call it purging or minimalist, or whatever, it helps me spend less time thinking about clothing… and hopefully, I’ve passed that practicality on in some way.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Tag: dresser

Temporary Home

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Organization for Clothing

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