Thea is getting independent by giant leaps. I don’t do the whole months thing unless I have to (I love math, but “over one” is just as good as “fourteen point two five months” as far as describing my baby’s age goes) so when people ask, she’s one.
Lucas gets a new bike, and Thea has to try it!
Lucas gets a water balloon maker (thank you, Grandma! The grenades have shredded latex shrapnel all over the yard – so Thea likes to clean all the pieces up)… and Thea is right alongside them filling up balloons.
At the beach she’s looking for shells with Becky and running into the surf with Lucas – not as far as Lucas, at least she still got a healthy fear of the deep!
Building a cage? Oh yes, Thea is right there trying to screw in the wood… well, Mommy and Lucas were using this tool on the wood: Thea just hasn’t figured out screwdrivers drive screws!
Grandma brought a pool – “Mommy!” Thea wants it set up so she can splash!
Daddy gets stakes for the garden… Thea is helping him drag them to the right spot!
Thea loves her shoes (Thank you, Jesus! Finally a child who wants her feet covered outside!) and will bring them to her bigger siblings since she can only get her feet partway in and she knows that isn’t proper. …and reading – she loves anything Becky is reading. (Actually, anything Becky is doing!)
I love watching them grow. I drove Christina and a friend to another friend’s graduation and his mom mentioned how much Thea has grown. I can already see her at 16 and graduating in a year like her eldest sister… time flies. Enjoy every minute with them!
Life has taught me, fortunately at a young age, that we are not promised tomorrow. The byproduct is that I am frank, honest, and don’t hide my care and concern for those I love. I try to remember that each time I speak to someone may be the last – I have lost many people and none of my losses are plagued with regret at the last words spoken. I pray that I keep love first.
I watch my younglings grow and I continually pray that I am guided to teach them how to live without regrets. To love honestly, to speak in that love, to always stand for truth, to live life taking risks so as never to say, “I regret…” wistfully thinking of some word or action they wanted to do but decided against. I pray they guard their hearts from evil and think on positive things.
I watch Thea grow, as I’ve watched each of the others and my younger siblings, I smile at her growing independence and blooming personality. I am so thankful and humbled that God blessed us with the honor of raising our children and leading each of them toward their own way. Our time with them is short. Enjoy every moment.
Lucas has a unidirectional purposeful mind when it comes to what he wants. As a three year old he told us for over six months that all he wanted for Christmas was a bike. That was it. Nothing else. He didn’t break it up like the girls do (tell Grandma Joanne one want, Grandma Tina another want, each Aunt a different want, and each sibling a different want), no. Mister Super Focused always just asks for one thing only.
Well, for the past four months, actually since just after Christmas, Lucas has been asking for a “bike for my longer legs” or “a boy bike that fits my long legs” for his upcoming May birthday. He’s been singularly focused on that one wish.
I figured that if the thrift stores ever open back up I would get a boy bike with 16″ wheels.
Instead, Grandma Tina came over to drop off the coolest little pool – pics on that one in another blog! – and a special surprise for Lucas.
He was one super happy boy!
And being the lovable big brother he is, he let Thea ride it too! Just because “she loves to ride my little bike which will be hers now!”
Thank you, Grandma Tina! Thank you to Grandma Tina’s landlord whose son had outgrown this one and wanted to give it away so another little boy could love it. I promise you, this bike will be loved for as long as Lucas can fit it and in his fond boyhood memories when he’s older!
We had to drag him off of the “coolest long leg bike that fits me” well after dark and he kept going back out to check on it in the shed. The following two days he was outside bouncing from the pool to the bike without stopping for the entire day to break only for food (most of which he took outside to eat while on his bike).
Typical boy.
No. Wait a minute… Typical Tart child.
I asked him yesterday, “Lucas, what do you want for your birthday now?”
He said, “my house with stairs!” Me too, dude. Me too.
Sometimes music just hits me. I love to listen to songs of all kinds. One of my newest favorites was from a movie we watched a little bit ago – “Speechless.” Even though as an analyst I understand that wouldn’t have been accurate for the culture, still, it was perfect for the movie and absolutely perfect for viewing children to understand that they have to stand up for what they believe regardless of their culture.
Today, riding home, I heard one I’ve always loved but haven’t really heard in a while. Carrie Underwood’s “Temporary Home.” But today I couldn’t stop crying through the song because I could see real people in all stages of the song. In my mind I saw three little children I knew (the little boy), my sister before she died (the single mom), and my Daddy (the old man) – only my mind altered the words to say “old man, chair at home, surrounded by people he loves…” and the image was of all of us at the last Christmas when we were all together.
I can’t stop crying when I hear this song now. Even thinking about it.
My family is (fingers crossed, prayers for God’s will regardless if it is ours) in the process of trying to be approved for a new home in a development that comes with a nature park as a backyard and friends we already know and love as neighbors all up and down our future street.
Regardless of whether we get approved, any house we live in is temporary.
See, I moved all over the place as a youth. 19 times in 19 years (no, not every year, longest in one spot was 2 years 9 days). I always found new adventure and opportunities in each new place.
But I wanted my children to have roots.
When we bought our house, I counted out 2 years and 10 days on our calendar and circled it with smiley faces. It meant so much to me to be in one place. God taught me a lot when we faced the loss of our company, our house, our stuff, our income, and what felt like our future – mostly by means out of our control. One bank gambling that we’d have a chunk set aside (which we would have if we hadn’t just had to pay all of it to cover one driver when wrecked because she drove without our permission while upset) meant that they would accept nothing less – we couldn’t get a loan for the amount our house was “underwater,” because so many foreclosures around us (almost every property sold in our area in the last 3 years had been a foreclosure) had dropped our property from being worth $150K to $83K. Even the lawyer said there was nothing we could do.
God taught me to let go.
Let go of my dreams of one place my whole life…
Let go of my trees, roses, things I had tended for 10 years…
Let go of our animal graveyard where we had lovely trees planted over each of the foster animals whose last home we had been…
Let go of my little farm I loved…
Let go of things that we’d collected…
Let go of our repaired table that had been Louis’ parents, the chandelier Louis gave me for the first birthday I had in our house, the big-screen TV Louis had wanted since we got married but we had finally saved and bought for him the past Christmas, the beds that had been my brother’s and were now my children’s, dressers that had been mine and Katy’s and were now Christina and Becky’s, dressers that my Daddy brought for Becca when I was 13 and now were my dresser/mirror, Kimberly’s dresser, and our shoe cabinet, the baby cradle that my Daddy had bought for my Mom when she was pregnant with me – it had rocked every one of my siblings, a few of my children, and was their stuffed animal bed now…
Each felt like a stab to my heart then. Now? I couldn’t care less about stuff. I’m thankful we got to keep Daddy’s surfboard, the girls’ schoolbooks, their legos, and when the auction people came out and took our one vehicle they asked how we got around and Louis told them “the bikes” – so they left the 6 bicycles and the baby bike trailer by writing “rusted and very poor” over the “bicycles” on the list. (Honestly, every one of them except for Louis’ had come off the side of the road and were rusted, repainted, repaired, etc. so likely not worth any real money.)
Temporary.
All of those things are temporary.
The only thing that is permanent is our relationships – love.
Any house we buy will be our temporary home. We will fill it with love whatever size it is. Yes, we’re praying for a spot with at least 5 bedrooms where the children can at least break into 3-2-2 because I’d like a baby room for Thea and Lucas and we want a “guest bedroom/Grandma suite” because we look long-term at something we’ll be buying for 15 to 30 years! The big girls want to come back and stay as they go through college and until they buy their own home after their careers are established (and Mom is totally okay with that!).
Temporary Home.
If Daddy had heard that song, I’m sure we would have discussed how true it is. I’m reminded of him all the time. I want to discuss the issues arising in my professional career – crossroads that I’m not sure if I’m making the logical or the heart decision. I miss his advice! I heard another country song I’ve heard dozens of times about visiting hours in heaven… Oh wow, do I wish I could just talk to my Daddy again!
Someday we all will leave our temporary home. What will be left is our legacy – our love – our heart. Those we have touched. The memories we made. I pray I make the right decisions daily so that I leave as much of my heart, love, and truth as a legacy for those who love me.
We have enough of a spot to set up our archery target (big fat canvas block thing) and our bb gun target (the windfresh bucket with three aluminum cans) and safely target shoot at those.
On perfect days when Mom and Dad are out, the question always comes, “may we set up the targets and shoot?”
Anastasia rode Lucas’ bike between turns!
Christina prefers the bow and arrow – her “weapon from a more civilized age” as she mimics Obi-wan and Kimberly laughs. Lucas is just learning to shoot with those. We have a 10 pound bow and he can finally pull that one back.
Jaquline and Jillian prefer using the bb rifle since our little Daisy is easier to load than the bows. (and they are in front of the metal beam! no ricochets here!)
Kimberly likes both. She’s a lot like me. My favorite gift ever was my crossbow (which no, we can’t shoot here, but when we got it, I had space enough to use it).
Today, we’d backed the cars off of the carport and set up the targets. Archery on the left and airgun on the right. I was overseeing (and assisting with loading) the airgun shooters. I’m not paranoid, but probably repeated “never point a gun at a person,” and “don’t load if someone is in your range of vision” a hundred times. I like them to know how to shoot, but I want them to treat every weapon with respect. Ocean, vehicle, weapon, hot stoves – anything with the possibility of causing injury – safety is the first priority. Always err on the side of safety and you will eliminate possible accidents.
So for about an hour, I loaded the little Daisy and Jaquline, Jillian, Anastasia, Lucas, and Kimberly took turns taking three shots each at the three target cans. A few “wow, you got all three!” and a few “oops, try again,” shouts. They encouraged each other.
Sometimes you feel like you were aiming at something and the site is off. You can’t hit it at all. Sometimes everything falls down perfectly. Life is unpredictable. Sometimes your perception is off. Sometimes something that looks perfect is lying.
Strange thoughts I have while the children are shooting? I couldn’t get out of my mind how thoroughly I’d believed in the good while the truth was right online for me to see if I’d just searched the county records. (I had to update my story) I heard “Black Eyes Blue Tears” and cried. I cried as the kids danced to “Fireflies” just a bit ago. I pray for her ex-husband. I pray that her babies remember her.
Briefly, thoughts like that interrupt my life now. I am there, helping to load the bbs and saying, “yea! You got them!” but I’m also crying inside because I was supposed to be there to protect her. I watch Christina patiently help Lucas aim his bow. I see her mouth move and I know she’s saying, “breathe out, release the string,” just like I did to her. I teach them safety. I teach them truth. I teach them about life. But I can’t protect everyone. That reality hurts.
I pray daily for my children, nieces, nephews, the boys and girls in my gym classes, those I influence. I pray they will find the true Protector in Jesus and follow His direction so their life will be anchored in love, truth, and joy.
I help Anastasia aim the rifle and she giggles when the bb hits the target box. (The targets are supposed to be the cans, but the box counts too.) I pray that God puts a hedge of protection around all of His precious children and keeps them safe from deceit.
Jillian and Anastasia are giggling while Jaquline grunts trying to pump the rifle because she’s too big for help. It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was helping my baby sisters aim our old “red ryder” bb rifle down at the pond, popping off pinecone targets. I can’t change the past. I can help mold the future.
Hope. Hope is what helps me through each day.
The girls are giggling again because Louis is pretending to close his eyes and act like he’s asleep. It is easy to choose joy with these angels around.
Joy. Yes, joy is my strength. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me the strength to choose your joy!
Cousin visits to our “mini-farm” aka place to get messy, play with animals, discover eggs hidden outside, and enjoy togetherness!
January 18, 2019
Cousin Visits!
My sister, brother, and their three little ones (Sister-Cousin and Brother-Cousins!) have moved back from Kansas!
They came out to our mini-farm (muddy spot with a pond, outside tank with tadpoles, indoor goldfish, foraging chickens, playful Guinea Pigs, cute fluffy bunny, and jumpy adult dogs who think they are 4 months old) over the weekend and the kids were totally excited!
This time, we had very few photographers snapping pictures because they were too busy playing with their cousins!
Lucas was so excited to share his green car (motorized car his Grandma Joanne bought him for his 2nd birthday) but the battery ran out too quickly – so he shared his Christmas bicycle and his train tracks. For him, those items are his dearest things in the world; train tracks, cars, his bicycle, and his green car.
“Baby JJ” – who isn’t a baby anymore! – and Lucas played train tracks for a bit. JJ liked the bicycle too. Outside JJ and Mandy wanted to see all the fluffy animals.
Anastasia helped show off Minuit, Kimberly’s little black Dwarf Holland Lop Bunny.
Little Minuit loves to eat carrot bits!
Mandy found Jaquline’s “hidden spot” in her bunkbed! (With big paper on the “wall.”)
Taylor and TobyMac did their popcorn jumps after the girls loaded them with Spanish Needles greens (chickens, bunnies, and Guinea Pigs love them before they turn to seed aka the needle part).
Above is the wildflower called Spanish Needle, a favorite food of many small animals.
Jillian showed off her Uncle Buddy knowledge by telling them that people can eat the wildflowers and leaves too. (Yes, but they are bitter unless cooked, and I hoped her younger cousins were distracted by the cuteness of the piggies and missed the “you can eat this weed” tidbit.)
We love cousin visits! It is always fun with family shares their time with each other.
Energy resonates in the clear skies of the seasons changing to autumn.
October 31, 2018
Electric Season
It’s officially autumn.
To me, it never seems like autumn until the sky goes that gorgeous “sky blue,” gentle cooler breezes tousle our hair, and there is a crisp energizing feel in the air.
During these days, I remember the exhilaration I felt as a child when they first approached.
Our first “autumn” day we’d race outside, full of a new form of energy that totally required an outdoor escape. If there was a swingset in the yard, (sometimes just a rope with a stick at the bottom) we were trying to touch the sky with our feet! On our bikes, (we called them horses, since we loved horses but never had a real one) we would ride round and round the house, singing Sunday School songs at the top of our lungs. If I ever had to describe the feeling in one word, it would be “freedom.”
Today the gorgeous electric blue sky makes me think about how God arranges things in seasons in our lives. Sometimes, when a new season comes, it brings the exhilaration of freedom. I’ve felt it before and not understood why.
Life seems to say, “you are trapped more than before, why are you happy?”
But my heart answers with a song called “Happy” because one verse basically says: bring it on, I’m happy and nothing can change that!
I imagine myself telling life that sometimes.
Because I have my root of happiness in Jesus, His joy is my strength, and even if life wants to throw stuff at me and claim I’m worse off in this new season than I was before (usually it’s that I can’t see the positive just yet), I know God has me in His hands – and I choose to be filled with that freedom exhilaration that comes with this new season!
Whatever God has for us, I sense the excitement, and I choose to focus on joy! Let this next season begin!
Today we had impromptu tennis. Christina and Becky rode their bikes to the park, Louis, the younger children, and I drove. It was a lovely day and since the “cooler than 90 degree” weather has them all excited, we have been outside most of the day.
Lucas was shouting songs in the backseat; periodically announcing “Stasia loves this one” or “Stasia said her Mommy has this!” or “this is one I like!” (Since Anastasia is not there to announce such things, Lucas must in her absence!)
We claim an open tennis court (okay, two, but that’s just because not all eight members of our team are great with their aim yet). Lucas has his own special racket and claims every ball that hits the net – the inaccuracies of learning kept Lucas entertained for over an hour!
At home, we’re now enjoying outside. Christina is texting the UCC team, Kimberly is running her scooter (kid powered), Jaquline is on her bike, and Jillian has a chicken – no, it’s a guinea pig. Lucas is driving his “Green car” (a 2nd birthday gift from Grandma Joanne that has seen daily use except for one six-week stint while we waited for the replacement charger).
“Look, Mom, the pig-pig is driving!” Lucas has Custard contentedly chewing on grasses in his lap! (Custard is one of the 4-week-old Guinea Pigs.)
A few moments later…
“Look, Mom! The chicken is driving!” And Jillian is sitting next to Lucas with a different chicken (this one is the biggest of the young cockerels we have for sale) sitting on her lap.
A few moments later…
“Look out below!” followed by giggles. Lucas is driving the car under a rain of pinecones Jillian tossed in the air. He catches one in the empty passenger seat, laughs, picks it up, and throws in into the little tykes car (human-powered) as he passes it.
A second later…
“Mom! A train!” And Lucas is pushing his car, in reverse, with the little tykes car centered behind it, rolling along like it is the engine of a two-unit train.
Then he tries to join Kimberly and Jaquline’s soccer game while driving the car! “Kim! My car wants to play!”
He jumped out of the car when Jillian and Kimberly started with the foam football… “I love football!”
We should have such energy and exuberance toward everything in life! Lucas looks at everything as an adventure, challenge, or treat; as a gift. Life is a gift. Thank you, Jesus, for this amazing life and all the fun moments we experience in it!
