Category: Finance

Mama Bear Baby Wear

Mama Bear Baby Wear

Throwback Story from (October 30, 2021)

I rarely do shout-outs that are unrequested; but this one?  Oh my goodness! 

About thirteen years ago, I was looking for a handmade option to the discontinued Gerber squares I had been using for cloth diapers and found the story of the shop (discovered it online while researching PUL fabric) called “Mama Bear Baby Wear.”  The story made me cry.  The products were really neat.  I was researched PUL fabric because we had been using four washable chux from my work (a nursing home, at that time) for nighttime bedwetter pads – they worked amazing and though my work had thrown them out, we got years more life out of them!

The research on PUL fabric led to super expensive designer washable diapers made with PUL fabric, with lots of reviews about how looooong it took to dry them.  Mama Bear Baby Wear sold “washable training pants” with mixed reviews, mostly good for what I was looking for.  I wanted a washable “oh no mom!” because we don’t do disposable, she was super independent and waiting for us to get to her and remove diaper pins was just “too much,” and I didn’t like cleaning up the baby seat.  Washable training pants that held a small amount of “oops” yet were NOT “comfortable” (aka, whisked the pee away so the toddler never learns that wet is uncomfortable!) were exactly what I was looking for. 

I ordered a four pack of “odds” – bargain training pants in assorted colors that were a dollar and a half less each than the pick-a-color training pants.  See the yellow, red, and one green in that picture?  Yes, those are three of the four original pack!  I loved them and ordered the green and blues (three not pictured were washing) as part of a six pack four years later. 

 Just so you know, these weren’t “occasionally” used.  I literally used all four of them every other day for almost three months, washed with my cloth diapers (I had a toddler potty training and watched a toddler who used my cloth diapers) on hot water with regular detergent (NO softener) and line dried in the Florida sun. 

Skip to next potty-trainer.

Washed and line dried every other day again for about eight months.

Skip to next potty-trainer.  My husband started using them like diapers because we had a magician who escaped from pins but loved the training pants.  I purchased the additional six so we now had ten working pairs of Mama Bear Baby Wear washable training pants. 

Now we had a dryer!  They were washed and dried on high heat every other day or every third day with the diaper squares that we now used as spit rags.  This bout lasted almost a year and a half because we moved twice and toddler reset her potty training every time we moved.

Skip to next potty-trainer.  A friend gave me thirty washable cloth diapers with the snaps (or I would have purchased them from Mama Bear) when our son was born.  I used those until he was potty training and I switched him up to the same training pants his sisters had all used.  No dryer.  They were washed and line dried every other day for almost six months. 

Skip to current potty-trainer.  We again have a dryer!  She started potty training early and we used the same batch of washable diapers (minus a few retired ones, stash started for her with twenty-three) and nine of the ten Mama Bear Baby Wear training pants.  We wash on hot and dry on high with regular detergent (NO fabric softener or dryer sheets) every other to every third day for about eight months.  We are using them now only for gym school because I work at gym and don’t want any “mom, I forgot to quit playing and go potty” accidents to mess up the floor… she’s been potty trained for almost a year.

Still using the same nine of ten!!  Only seven of the ten are in “giveaway” condition (see the worn areas near the snaps?  Those three I consider unacceptable hand-me-down material as I only give away great condition stuff) but all of them are still fully intact and waterproof!  Five of the ten are in what I consider excellent condition! Thank you, Mama Bear Baby Wear for a dependable, perfect potty-training “pull-up” alternative that has served us for nine and thirteen years, respectively – and if we have another potty-trainer or another to hand them down to, will continue!

Thank you for reading! (Check out Mama Bear Baby Wear’s shop!)

~Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Stepping Back

Stepping Back

February 23, 2020

My little love is one! I’m 37. We both had birthdays this week. This is the first birthday for one of my children that I missed.

I was on my way to a meeting at work when I got two adorable videos from Louis – my littlest baby, looking at her first birthday cupcake Grandma Joanne brought her while everyone sings “Happy Birthday” and her little toes wiggle happily.

I could have let that make me feel really blue. I almost did because I had a rather sour day at work that morning – I’m a perfectionist, should explain everything (right?)

As I watched that video three times, there were two voices in my head:

The first was saying things like: Aww how cute! How sweet that they took a video! She’s having so much fun!

The second jumped immediately on top with: You aren’t there. This is the first birthday cake you haven’t done with any child! You neglect her. You neglect them all. You work too much. You are missing your children’s lives. See how much you miss.

And the second voice doesn’t shut up!

I went through the meeting. That second voice was still screaming in the background on the way back to work: If you had any business sense, you could have been good at Beachbody like Katy, you could be a real author making a living at it, you could have sold makeup, you could still be at home. Why didn’t you…. You could have been… If only…

It boiled down to this: YOU ARE A FAILURE!

But I’m not!

I refocused. I took a deep breath and steadied myself on my way to gym – the voice tried again because my baby didn’t even come to gym on her birthday because Daddy and big sister kept her at home (she was pooped after birthday fun).

I am doing my best.

Most importantly, I allowed myself to step back and look at the bigger picture. That is really hard when voices – your own voices in your head – are screaming at you. Your logic tells you they are accurate! Your emotion agrees with them! All the parenting books you’ve read, teachers you’ve listened to, and “stats” you’ve seen about raising children all tell you the voices – the accusing second voices – are right. BUT NO!

Step back. I stepped back.

For 15 years, I’d been the one at home (yes, working from home too) to see the firsts. With Thea, Louis has been.

He said he loves the baby stage and is so thankful he isn’t missing all of it. He felt like he was never around for the others. I’m so happy he gets to be home in the morning/early afternoons in this season!

I had an awesome relationship with my Daddy. I want that for my children, especially my girls; for them to have an awesome relationship with their Daddy. Louis gets to spend more time with them.

I stepped back.

We have joint goals. We have family goals. A house that means a new start for us – rooms for everyone and more than 4 feet of counter space in the kitchen! We are accomplishing that!

I stepped back.

I LOVE my family, and they know this. Just because I work two jobs in this season doesn’t change that. We both got to go to Christina’s first University tour! (That wouldn’t have happened with other jobs!) We both get to go to the gymnastics show in May. We all get Sundays together as family days (that has never happened in our family lives – service industry doesn’t give up weekends!).

I took another deep breath. The accusing voice had stopped. This was because I started to mentally pray: thank you, Jesus, for this season of life you have us in. It may be hard, it may sometimes seem like too much, other people may think it’s too much, others may judge, my logic might be telling me it’s not a good place… but I am SO grateful for the season I’m in right now! I pray for guidance daily and until God says “let it go,” I’m holding on to the gifts (jobs) he’s given us. Thank you!

If your inner voices are ripping you apart…

Take a deep breath. Steady yourself. Step back. PRAY. Be grateful for what you have and pray for wisdom on what to allow to let go.

Listen to God’s heart.

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Leaving My Little Love

September 8, 2019

Leaving My Little Love

I’m looking at the man cross the coffee table as I talk.  I knew even though he said it was okay to bring my baby (at this point, I’m 8 months pregnant) to work with me, there would come a time when my baby would be better off with Daddy and her siblings than at my office with three doggies, a kitty, and office phones.

Almost seven months later, I’m answering Louis’ call while at work and we are discussing Christina and Becky’s schedule for the night while Thea, hearing Daddy’s voice, is yelling at the top of her lungs. Louis says “She really doesn’t need to be in the office.”

We’d been discussing it, but I was very reluctant.  See, I can’t stand being behind a desk… I want to be active, moving, teaching.  Other adults don’t help.  I hate being still.  (Maybe why I don’t listen to midwives or doctors saying “get bed rest” and instead I’m riding to gym with my girls and Louis – yes! He drove! – when Thea is hours old to watch their practice.)  I wanted Thea with me.

Kitty shows up & Thea is in her play seat.  Kitty has stayed away from her the whole 3 months the kitten has been in the office.  Kitty jumps up on the table of the play area and Thea giggles, excitedly pets Kitty, and rubs her hand over her face and head.   Spots break out – a rash… my baby is allergic to cats! Now I won’t jeopardize her health so from then on she stays home. 

I’m sure that was God saying, “quit being stubborn! Listen to your husband.” 

Leaving her home is the hardest thing ever for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally thankful for my job, I’m just sad that I can’t have my little love with me.

I’m seriously living for the day when I can come into the office at 6am, even 5am, and leave at noon or 1pm.  That is my working goal.  I don’t care if that means less pay… I want to be home with my children.  My loyalty instinct keeps me returning to work.  I LOVE teaching.  I LOVE coaching – and I get to take all my children!  I feel that with the way the company wants to expand, I will be able to move to 5am to noon or 6am to noon one day soon.  I’m praying that’s soon.  I’ll even work from home on weekends or evenings if needed.  I want to be home. 

I think that’s an issue a lot of us women feel but are afraid to say.  We just want to be home when they are home!  We want to be around our teens so we can learn about these amazing young women.  We want to counsel our preteens and research their deep questions alongside them.  We want to guide and protect our elementary kiddos and watch our preschoolers, toddlers, and infants with wonder and awe as they grow and explore.  We want to help mold their little characters as that is the reason God gave them to us.  He knew we could mold them the way He wants.  He gave them to us so we could be a part of their lives and our heart knows that.  We desire to teach our children.

I feel a great empathy with those who can’t stay home or make their schedules work the way they want.  I watch my single sister (who has an amazing daughter she pours everything into, by the way) struggle with the “failure” she feels for not being around as much as she wants to be.  Girl.  That is me too.  I can’t stand being away.  I wanted a job where I could keep my children with me.  (Running a cab company, I was always home!  Even gym coach, my kiddos are there with big sister or awesome ladies/young ladies or now, Grandma!)

God is teaching me patience.  Also that I can’t be everywhere at once.  He is also teaching me to look from all angles. 

Louis has been working 60 to 80+ hours at 2 or more jobs since Christina was born.  He’s been so busy or sleeping between jobs all their lives.  Now, he has one job at evening/night leaving as we are going to sleep.  He gets to cook amazing meals, homeschool them, and watch them grow.  He took Thea home one afternoon instead of leaving her with my mom and Paige in the afterschool/babysitting room at gym. He said he loved it.  “I can see why you miss taking her to work.” He said.  He loved “hanging out” with Thea for five hours by himself.  She ate two jars of baby food, some rice, some apple, played all kinds of giggling games with Daddy on the bed, and then snuggled with him and fell asleep on his tummy.  Louis said he loves this part of being a Daddy.

Daddy and Thea

I was smacked upside the head with the realization that I was being rather selfish in my desire to always be with her.  Louis wants to be just as involved in our children as I do.  He loves the baby giggles, snuggles, and laughter just as I do.  He feels powerful and insignificant and totally blessed just like I do when one of our angels falls asleep snuggling.  We are of the mindset that each may be the last – but honestly, there is a feeling of finality with Thea that wasn’t there for anyone else.  (I’m not saying we won’t have another, just being honest about feelings – I am totally open for whatever God wants)  I need to let Louis have as much baby time as he wants. 

So, in this season, it’s the hardest of all for me; I’m away from my children ten hours a day.  I’m willing to work for the day when we have four teams, a location I can show up at to make sure the vans are stocked, the teams are off with all their supplies, and I’m joined by someone else in the office who allows me to leave at noon.  This is what I hope for.  A little more at 8 to 4 and hopefully, I’m early morning and working from home. 

My Thea, my little love, is at home.  I rest securely in the knowledge that her Daddy is relishing his time with her, and her big sisters and brother will help see that she’s entertained and well fed!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Fighting the “Silent Killer”

My little sister has a big fight ahead: Spreading her story is one way I can help.

May 6, 2019

Fighting “the Silent Killer”

For the past few months, we’ve been praying and hoping as Becca, my sister, went from doctor to doctor, clinic to clinic, and eventually the hospital over an unknown infection that was bothering her on her leg.  They said it was ringworm, an infection from “dirty water at work,” a spider bite, etc.  She heard everything but none of the treatments seemed to help; most only caused severe pain where there hadn’t been pain.  Her main complaints were a growing discoloration, open wound that wouldn’t heal, and itching.

Last week, on Friday, May 3, 2019, she finally had a serious answer.  A wound specialist here in Saint Augustine told her for sure (results of several tests) that what was causing her leg problems was a condition that usually affects those over 55 – burst varicose veins causing blood clots.  This is often called “the silent killer” because there aren’t any painful signs.  If left untreated, the blood clots begin to travel.  Once a blood clot reaches a vital organ, it causes death.

Doppler tests (like a sonogram) showed several blood clots.  Three are already traveling.  The specialist stressed immediacy.  Becca was glad to have an answer, but she had no clue how she could pay for the six (6!) surgeries needed as soon as possible.  Without counting medications, aftercare such as dressings, lack of income from missing work, and the looming bills from previous misdiagnoses, she will need $18,000.

Then a series of God-orchestrated tumblers began to fall; family volunteered to help, Becca found she could “cash in” her vacation time for an emergency, and her credit card limit increased – she was able to gather enough funds to start one of the six surgeries.  Her first one is scheduled for Wednesday, May 8, 2019.  We are praying and believing God will guide the surgeon’s hands, heal Becca, and cover medical costs for her.

Several of us suggested using “GoFundMe” as I always help when I see one local.  Becca didn’t want to ask; so we decided to do it for her.  We love our sister and although, yes, I’m sure over time she’d make it work – she needs this now.  Without having a big enough fund to grab into, we have each other.  Each of us, giving what we can, helping as she does for us, we can all pull together and help Becca.

The reason we like “GoFundMe” and local networks that ask for help is because it shows the power of each of us in our community.  One woman needs help moving – pretty much has the whole job packed and moved in a weekend.  My midwife is constantly letting us know about moms, babies, or families in need: I always try to give.  Becca always gives.  I find hope in seeing people help each other.  I enjoy helping at food pantries and raising money for charities.  I love these because everyone’s little bit helps to make big things work.

Becca started crying tears of gratefulness when she realized people donated shortly after we set it up.  Thank you for showing our community’s heart.  This is how we fight the silent killer.

Please pray for Becca now and if you can, please consider donating.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

My Knight

Okay, seriously, just me bragging on my amazing man of God! 🙂 Yes, I think I am allowed to do that a little.

February 4, 2019

My Knight

“Mom, can you stay working and Daddy stay home like this, I like it!” Kimberly says.

I smile. That’s always the result of Louis being home during the day!

He’s an amazing chef – turns regular food into culinary masterpieces that the children like to eat!

He doesn’t get stuck in writing or multi-tasking like I do – he has a finish-the-job mentality so cleaning tasks actually get completed in minute detail.

He knows how to make everything entertaining or hilarious – this leads to lots of children working without realizing they are working!

He doesn’t second guess himself and when he feels like taking them somewhere fun, he just does it! (That freedom I haven’t figured out yet.)

Louis hurt his back so is supposed to be “resting” for six weeks. (He’s been doing stay-at-home-Dad who drives occasionally when he thinks his back is better…) I’ve been working at two outside jobs lately: I leave before 7:20am, basically dropping in after job one about 1:45pm to 2 or 3pm for lunch (which is always ready and amazing), grabbing the corresponding gymnastics student, and sprinting off for the next job. I come home to an immaculate house after 8:30pm (sometimes after 9:30pm if I picked Christina up from CAP or Cyber Patriot). I’m constantly impressed.

Louis has been making my coffee-shakeology and makes sure I have water and eat (I will totally forget to eat); little things that make me feel so loved and cared for. I feel like I’m always receiving at this snapshot of time. I ended up with a cold I misunderstood as an asthma attack because of the way it attacked my breathing – so not only have I been fighting a cold, but I’m allergic to the emergency inhaler so I had almost six days of allergic reaction to let it “run its course” along with the cold (so far both of the colds I’ve caught since asthma have turned into upper respiratory infections) and my weakened immune system wanted a few days of nothing-but-sleep, but you know, life = bills and work! (And, yes, I’m so grateful for my jobs!)

I’m so grateful for simple things like running hot water and modern plumbing.

I’m super grateful for my loving, giving husband who’s always looking out for me.

I’m thankful for our amazing love!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

New Routine

New Year, New Work Routine! I’m feeling so blessed!

January 20, 2019

New Routine

After so many years of not being officially employed, in my job search I often felt like the only way I would ever get a job was purely if God made it happen. (I know, running one’s own business is employment, but even the government doesn’t see it as that! Because we rolled almost all our income back into the business trying to build it, the government was like, “no W2, you had no job” oops.) No one was looking at my strange resume (last 5 jobs… including my “co-owner of…” went back to my second teenage job – Disney!) and thinking, “cool, let’s hire this person.”

At least, that’s what it felt like for 2 years – well, a little more than two years, but let’s not get technical.

Then I answered an ad to what I assumed could be an office position at a gym. Big surprise – and dream job! I’ve been there since late October 2018 and have become the Preschool Director – I love coaching! I’ve been working with the preschool teacher and coaches to help reorganize the educational aspect of the Preschool Program. (Lucas loves “going to school” when he gets to tag along – three hours three times a week of preschool learning plus gymnastics coaching plus lots of fun! Coach Bailee is so awesome at that!)

I felt a nudge to answer another part time ad. Now I’m the Operations Manager at Dog Face Electrical Contractors… a awesome business with a positive future. I’ve only been working there for going on two weeks, but – my word – do I love discovering and learning! I’ve been testing my skill at learning to read electrical building plans, understanding the electrician’s jargon, and forming expandable options for efficiency as this business grows. I’m so excited to be a part of it!

I’m just one of these people who say “my gym” and “my office” and I want to see the businesses I am a part of grow and flourish. I want to be an integral part of their team. I want to never have to leave the places I’ve chosen to work.

Strange in this day and age, maybe, but that’s how I feel.

I know God has put me in these positions at this time. I want to shine my light wherever I can! Positive attitude is everything. I’m feeling a little tired (driving is 30 minutes to either job one-way) but I use the time to talk to God and worship, but am totally blessed and in awe of how perfectly God lined these amazing jobs up for me in the perfect timing!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Fresh New Year

Who else is excited for 2019? Who else looks at the new year like a child on Christmas morning looks at presents around the tree?

December 31, 2018

Fresh New Year

“It’s still 2018, right?” asks Kimberly, working on her History.

“Yes, it’s the last day of 2018,” I respond.  Christina pipes in with, “and our Aunt’s birthday!”  (One of their aunts is born on December 31!)

This makes me think: (uh-oh, I just heard two kids say “Mom’s writing another blog in her head.”) Yes, my children know me!

Tomorrow starts a fresh new year.  We are given a new beginning each day as the dawn warms our skies and the sun rises to dry the dew.

In the service industry, all days blend together and all the New Year has meant for me in the past 8 years was a barrage of people calling to order reservations at 1am on New Year’s Day from the Bayfront downtown or 11pm from the Saint Augustine Beach peir (two locations at the times we can never promise) so then it turns into irritated people who don’t understand the simple line, “I can’t guarantee that time at that location, you can try to call us at the time to see where our cabs are.”

I’m so glad today does not involve dispatching!  I’m only answering questions from the school table – awesome!

In 2018:

  • I started working at WGV Gymnastics as a coach (LOVE this job).
  • We closed our taxi company in December.  It feels awesome to be able to shut off my phone and not worry about missing a reservation call!
  • I’ve finished, polished, and published four new children’s books: A Foundling Furball, Alena’s Baby, The Tightrope Dare, and Fibbing Fishermen!
  • I’ve rejoiced with the addition of my best friend’s 10th baby!
  • I’ve rejoiced with my sister who is due about the same time I am!  (They will be close cousins!)
  • I’ve mourned and rejoiced with my family after my Daddy passed.
  • I celebrated the first Christmas ever without him – that was his favorite holiday.
  • Christina achieved CAP rank of C/CMSgt, become Red Cross certified, started officially babysitting, started working as needed at what she calls “my somewhat part time job,” and completed her third college semester.
  • Becky completed her second college semester, bred and raised a few dozen chicks up to “independence” for clients, raised her batches of “babies” (aka Guinea Piglets), joined gymnastics classes (finally finding something to encourage her fitness!), and has taught most of her siblings the Latin terms for every body part since she’s been dissecting animals in her biology labs!
  • Kimberly joined gymnastics classes with her gung-ho attitude and is expecting great things from herself, was gifted a bunny (she’s been saving to adopt one for almost a year but her awesome big sisters beat her to it) and Minuit has never left her side.
  • Jaquline discovered the amazing world of Geometry and everything is now interpreted in shapes or gymnastics skills!
  • Jillian started losing teeth, is studying sketching (she’s getting rather good actually!) and digital art along with Becky, and getting herself lost in the world of reading!
  • Lucas started trying to write his name!

We are all expecting amazing things to come in 2019.  God has paths lined up for us that we may not even be able to see yet – if you’d told me at the start of 2018 that I’d be teaching gymnastics for an awesome Christian boss, be pregnant again, and have no taxi company, I would have laughed.

But (positive!) God knows the desires of our hearts!  He knows I love children, love teaching, and that gymnastics has always been a dream. (Dream job come true?  YES!)  He knows Lucas loves babies and is super excited about getting to “take MY BABY home from church.”  (All the other babies he’s been around are those of church family, so he can’t take them home.)  He knows that rebuilding hybrid batteries is something else I love – tinkering with electronics as Daddy taught me & a niche few offer around here so maybe that will be our main income soon!

I’m about to polish and release a few more children’s books (maybe an entire new series working around my budding illustrators’ work!) and my goal for this year is 12 releases.

Who else is excited for 2019?  Who else looks at the new year like a child on Christmas morning looks at presents around the tree?  I see each day as a gift from God to be opened at each dawn.  I see gifts we can’t even dream of yet sitting there, waiting God’s perfect timing for us to unwrap and enjoy.  I’m praying that certain things are there – which day holds the gift of my child’s birth?  Does a gift in that pile include a property or home of our own?  Is there a gift of being able to read my books before a class, teach a grammar workshop, or tutor another child?  Only God knows what each gift holds.  My Daddy loved seeing the smiles and squeals of excitement on Christmas morning as his children opened presents – I love this part of Christmas morning as a parent too.  I can only imagine God smiling as we open each gift and yelp with excitement!

Enjoy your daily gifts in 2019!  Happy, blessed New Year!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Proper Burial

When you can’t fix it, it needs a “proper burial” – for electronics… but maybe for more than that.

November 8, 2018

Proper Burial

Rebeccah likes to tinker with stuff.  She always has.  Most of the time, she can fix electronics when we think they are broken.

If it is headed for the trash, she always gives it at least one try (and she likes seeing the “guts” of the item too).

Today it was the playstation 2 unit (for the 5th time).  We bought it used in the first place and it had a short from day one.  Rebeccah has fiddled with it four times successfully, but this morning, all of her efforts led to naught.  She had it completely apart.  Every breadboard, wire, connection, screw, etc. was separated in her ordered little piles.  (Conclusion was “I have no clue what’s wrong with this thing!”)

So I’m trying to work on “Fibbing Fishermen” (#5, it will be out soon) in the Devonians series when I hear Kimberly show up:

Kimberly: “Becky, what are you doing?”

Rebeccah: “Putting it back together.”

Kimberly: “I thought it was really garbage this time?”

Rebeccah: “Yes, but when something dies, we should at least bury it in a proper casket.”

…

Seriously?  For me, this was just apropos timing.  We’ve closed a business, I’ve started a totally unexpected but awesome job, life is shifting into a strange limbo for us right now, and every time we turn around it appears something else is stealing something of value from us.

Bury it.  Wrap it and every part of it back in the casket and hide it from sight.  That so made me laugh.

Perhaps that’s what God wants us to do with these remaining bits of the past; bury them completely.  Hide them away so we are fully open to what God has planned next!

For me, right now, it’s pretty awesome: my job is teaching children (I love this!) and I get to expose each of y’all to something I’ve always wanted to do (gymnastics) as a perk!  Granted, we can’t live on this income alone; but it is something I can do very well.  I’ve felt a peace about our life right now despite the fact that our insurance is due in 8 days and we are $1350 short, I can’t focus on that.  All I can do it do my best and let God take care of the rest.

God will provide a way.

***NOTE*** You know what’s really funny?  After Rebeccah put that Playstation 2 console back together for its “proper burial,” it now works.  No short, no sticking CD tray, no dying.  She and Lucas have been playing football for almost an hour now and no issues.  Even though she couldn’t find the problem, just resetting everything back the way it was supposed to be fixed the problem. (It is almost time to go to work so, I’ll think about that more later!)

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

Number Seven

Yes, ambiguious title and puzzle til the end of a long post…

October 24, 2018

Number Seven

Ambiguous title?  Yes.

Am I being cryptic on purpose?  Yes.

You are supposed to figure out the puzzle from the clues in this story.

(WARNING!  LONG STORY! – and it’s pretty deep because there’s a lot of feelings and thoughts smashed in here.)

Anyway, in April and May, I was in and out of clinics and the hospital because of a severe reaction to black mold.  (I know, crazy, right?)  I researched the medication I was to finish and every side effect possible happened to me (they always do, it’s just my weird, unique biology) so my hair fell out, hormone levels changed, pimples exploded over my face, and various other physical changes happened, I wasn’t watching for anything else.  It was a low period for me because it seemed my favorite parts of my body (long hair, my figure, health) was disappearing.  (Crazy reason to be depressed, isn’t it? After all, I was still alive!)  Although I kept telling myself this would work itself out, and I kept praying and believing God had control of this situation too (He has everything in His hands.), it was sometimes hard to face it without feeling sad.  Especially for me when I brushed my hair and it seemed there was more hair in the brush than stayed on my head.  (Of course, shedding hair means length disappears, so I went from semi-thick long hair that was below my waist to thin few-strands-to-the-middle-of-my-back.)  My hair was something that even as a child I was really proud of.  I’ve never cut it.  I always wanted to have long hair like Lady Godiva (ever seen the version where Maureen O’Hara plays Lady Godiva? I loved that movie because she was a strong, bold woman who loved her people.) and loved the Bible verse that says our “long hair is our covering.”  Plus, Louis likes my hair long. (Yes, after getting married, I thought it would take too much time to have to style short, plain hair so it was cool that my husband liked it long and straight.)

Being that I’m allergic to almost everything chemical (latex, cleaning fluids, pills, antibiotics, the inhaler I was prescribed!, etc.), we pretty much rely on natural family planning and some non-latex help.  Usually, I know my body well.  Part of the side-effects to one of the drugs was hormone imbalance which threw my body off where I wasn’t sure what it was doing.  Not considering it a good time for pregnancy, we decided to hold off on any potential baby-making.  Period.

Oh well, God laughed at that.

Certain things began to reverse during July.  My hair began to grow back (I have one-inch-long sticking-ups all over my head), my figure returned to normal, and other small things in my body seemed to reset.  I was very curious because although I’d been off the huge assortment of “we-don’t-know-what-this-is-but-treat-everything” drugs in the hospital for two months, everything I’d read about the steroid they’d given me was that it took twelve to eighteen months for the hormone imbalance to correct itself and I was still taking one occasionally to prevent asthma attacks.  What was turning my imbalance around?

Yep, God decided to reset my body himself; with a baby.

I love being pregnant, but worried that the drugs I’d been on had effected the child – then relaxed about as soon as I thought about it because if we were trying to keep it from happening (Starting in mid-April with the only 100% sure way), yet God said “haha, you thought you knew this stuff,” He obviously was in charge of baby’s health.

For the first time in my reproductive life, the only “date” I have can’t be.  I keep calendars that are honestly way too detailed, but those dates don’t match with the dates counting backwards.  (Every other time in my life I knew the day/night we came together to start our little blessing!)  Based on these “diary facts” as my girls call them, I can’t figure the time.  (What happened?  The little swimmers had to get through sheepskin & sit around inside of me for eight to ten days?  Really?  If I use the LMP date, that’s what had to happen because after that was nothing. Period.  I didn’t know hanging around inside was medically possible.)

Now, I’m totally enthusiastic about being pregnant (I am one of those crazy women who LOVE carrying life – every part of it); I just am amazed at the mystery of this baby.  I figured you know, I know what protection is, we use planning, and yeah, I get it, I’ve seen women on the pill, using protection, and even two who had their tubes tied get pregnant, so I know anything is possible.

I mean, philosophically we trust all to God’s hands, including family size and timing.  (Or say so, we were technically trying not to get pregnant with the whole breathing and health thing “at least until we moved to a mold-free house”)  But can you say surprised?  Yes.

So, “number seven” is this little precious life growing inside of me!  (Yes, I know most people, including many member of my family, think we are completely nuts, and maybe we are – but we are loving this adventure!)

New job, new baby, surprise!  God says!  Now I have an awesome job I can’t believe I really get to do and seriously get paid for (I love teaching children!) and a new little life growing inside that Lucas can’t wait to wrestle with (he comes and mashes on my belly, talks to “his baby,” and the baby responds by racing around, kicking, punching, whatever inside me).  I’m so excited… what does God have next?  A plot of land we can call our own and a trailer to stick on it or some plot with an old house that needs work – maybe?  Or are Kimberly’s dreams of building our own “movable house” accurate?  Okay, I’m totally open to the next step in this adventure!  (And, yes, I’m fine if that means, “rest, sit tight, you’re in pause mode right now.”)

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

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