Tag: scream

God! Help!

January 5, 2021

God! Help!

This blog is for those moms, big sisters, teachers, coaches, etc. who have ever raised their hands up in the sky and demanded with tears streaming down their eyes, “God! Help!”

If you’ve never done that, please leave the rest of us in our private knowledge of complete crazy… nothing to see or read here… Thank you.

Now that I’m addressing those of you, who like me, know that they only get through life with God’s routine and very often injections of aid: understand that you are really, really not alone!

There are way more of us out here than you know.

But people don’t always see that. Still. That doesn’t mean we don’t completely loose it and at least internally… SCREAM for HELP!

Ever had a friend compliment you by saying, “wow, you were so calm.”

Your mind goes, “um.. what????” And you realize that only God saw your frantic desperate prayers as you grabbed napkins, wiped up your child’s blood trying not to freak out at her big sister’s just-started party while on your way to meet said child in the bathroom with unknown injury as you realize another daughter is already cleaning more blood (MORE BLOOD?? God, let me not scare her, make me calm.) on a gym mat. You realize that the frantic prayers were interpreted as deep breaths – thank you Jesus for oxygen and working lungs! Said child cries and you are thinking, “God, this injury is serious, help me!” but when you clean it and she whines, “I don’t want to go home! I want to play with my friends!”

Then there’s the serious prayer as you fight the urge of laughter-that-borders-on-insanity, “God, give me patience with this child!”

Bloody head wound clean. Check.

Bleeding stopped. Crisis averted. Check.

10,000+ frantic “God, you better help me” prayers in the span of 45 seconds while dealing with said child who doesn’t see that this is an INJURY and wants to GET BACK UP AND START FLIPPING! Double check.

Super glue, band-aid, and the older kids are like, “do we need to go?” Decision time. (This was supposed to be a food party & dinner & home is 45 minutes away plus party will be over & have to pick up actual party-goer in about 2 hours.) Stay.

Instant heart attack what feels like 5 seconds later when said injured child is about to show off her routine on bars – “DO YOU WANT TO LIVE TO ADULTHOOD??” (No, I didn’t scream that.)

But. I WANTED TO!! Instead it was “GOD HELP ME!” in my frantic brain while I think I may have jumped the knee wall to grab said child and firmly direct her back to my table in a solid seat (DID YOU REALLY JUST LEAN THAT FOLDING CHAIR ON TWO LEGS!!!???) beside me to watch her. Calm. Breathe. “GOD! HELP ME!” (Of course, that was a mental scream again.)

End the frantic night. (Thank you, Jesus!)

I’m laying in bed, praying that her head heals well and there’s no infection. Reading Proverbs for whatever chapter the day was (you know, when you can’t think of anything but Proverbs has a chapter for every day in the month?), I came across timeless wisdom that basically said (my brain translated the words to the following, it is NOT a direct quote:), “give everything to God and know that you aren’t perfect without Him.”

Truth.

Give over my worries. Give over my fears. In. Real. Time.

If I just write it on paper (or type it in a blog), that’s just words. What shows that I do trust God is in real time. When my toddlers decides to tilt her head back and scream bloody murder with a huge smirk because I’m on the phone. (PATIENCE, PLEASE!) When my boy is annoying his sisters for the bazillionth time in one minute. (Please, God, don’t let them kill him.) When an attack comes and it feels like the life-breath from my lungs is being sucked out by a giant vacuum. (Calm. Breathe. God. Help. Me.)

This is trusting in real time.

This is choosing to know that I cannot do anything without Jesus.

This is knowing that with Jesus I ca do all things. I can breathe. I can parent. I can mother. I can coach. I can love. Without Him, I can’t do any of those things.

So, yes, I know I’m imperfect. (I’m FAR from perfect!)

But…

I trust in the perfect one. I ask Him for help daily (um… thousands of times a day, in every situation I get stuck in!) and He answers with comfort, ideas, calm, and love.

Take a breath. Breathe in Jesus, breathe out, breathe in love, breathe out; now face your challenge! (As I hear a squeal from the kitchen followed by a crash… doesn’t sound like anything broke… “MOM!”) God, they are your children; HELP ME! I need to parent them to lead them to You, show me how.

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

P.S.: Those who were there, yes, I was freaking out inside. Yes, she is okay and nothing left to point at proudly and say “look what happened to me!”

First Sweet Potato & Fit!

July 30, 2019

First Sweet Potato (and Fit!)

Thea is five months old.

She is fascinated with everything.  If it moves, she giggles at it and wants to chase it.  If it makes a sound, she wants to chase it.  If it is in the possession of an older sibling, she wants to touch it.  If it looks fluffy or new (as in she wasn’t looking at it ten seconds ago), she wants to chase it.

For her, “chase” means raise her arms and legs like in a superman hold and shove her body forward, sideways, or backward on her tummy.  I’ve seen my other six babies, remember several siblings as babies, and have had numerous little nieces and nephews over – she is the first to do this type of scoot. (But then, each one has their own unique movement method!)

Theadora in my office

Maybe she has figured out that on hard floors (her entire environment) this type of movement makes the blanket travel with her.

She has learned to roll – has been doing both of these movements since about 3 months (but she rarely wants to go anywhere, so it’s like “surprise! I want to move at this second!” she loves to do the unexpected). 

Lucas will get on one side of her, giggle, and roll away.  She will giggle and follow.  Monkey see, monkey do!  He calls this game “rolling the ball” – I’m literally making her bassinet when I hear, “Mom!  Look!  I’m rolling a ball!” accompanied with a river of giggles from both Lucas and Thea.  He’s rolling in front of Thea and she’s following him all the way across the bed.  He rolls off the end of the bed (a fall of about 9 inches) and I’m about to jump into protect-baby-from-floor-barrier when he puts both hands on Thea’s tummy to keep her from rolling the last flip and says, “can’t go that way, I can fall off but you can’t yet ‘cause your head isn’t done yet.”

Lucas is her protector, her shield from danger, her loving big brother – and the one who leads her into most new (scary for us!) adventures, like rolling non-stop or eating something new – “Look, Mom!  She likes ice cream!”  (*facepalm in my brain* but at least it’s Daddy’s homemade vanilla soft serve) next line is “No, Baby Thea, only big boys can eat cones, you can just taste the ice cream.”  He’s letting her “taste” like we do, tapping one finger on the food and putting it on her tongue.

That backfired with the sweet potatoes. 

Oh, yes, nice story:

A cute 3-month-old goes with her family to Grandma’s favorite restaurant for a celebration.  She’s the epitome of baby cuteness in her Sunday best.  Everyone is being so well-behaved. Mom is having sweet potato (all the others have had sweet potato as a first food) and lets baby taste it.

BABY TURNS INTO VELOCIRAPTOR!

She starts jumping forward, grabbing at the table, mom’s fork, mom’s hair, anything to get back to the sweet potato!  Mom thinks she’s had enough after a few tastes, but NO!  Sweet little cuteness erupts into a full blown literal tantrum!  She flings herself back in frustration and screams! Daddy thinks this is funny. (Everyone else is bug-eyed, is she really throwing a fit?) Daddy says, “watch this” and gives her a small taste on the end of a spoon.  Thea sees the spoon coming, instantly stops fussing, alligator tears evaporate, and she grabs the spoon with both hands and shoves it into her mouth.  Once she sucked it dry, she looks up at Daddy with pleading eyes and babbles in what-adults-can’t-understand to mean “more please?”  He fed her a little more to keep the peace.

 Lucas was even spellbound watching Thea, his sweet, tiny, fragile-looking baby sister toss her baby fit.  Mommy took this excellent opportunity to mention quietly that wasn’t very nice.  He says, “I don’t like that screaming.” To which I answer, “we feel just like you do now when you drop yourself on the floor and start kicking.” (Doesn’t happen often, but it’s been a thing since I started working.) “Oh.” I think gears are turning in his brain.

And this:

is what everyone else in the world sees…

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

The Story of Baby Thea

A birth story of our little angel (and a slideshow of proud siblings & family!)

February 22, 2019

The Story of Baby Thea

If you’ve been following my blog, you know I was growing my seventh little angel.

Today, I get to write the story of her arrival!

On February 19th, a beautiful Tuesday morning, my day started normally. During my 32 minute drive to work, the Baby started thinking there was not enough room and my body did the stretching contractions (Braxton-Hicks) that is very normal for me in the last month or two before birth. I didn’t think much of it, really. After my boss left for appointments, one of my office companions, Lily, a beautiful brown and white pittie belonging to my boss, started laying at my feet and wouldn’t let me go anywhere without her! This was a bit of a warning to me because Sheba (my Aussie mix) always does this to me when I’m in active labor. I left at one (normal time) to get to Christina and then my midwife appointment.

Christina had been babysitting, finished some errands at the college so she would be ready for the summer semester, caught the bus to 207 (the road I take into town), and was waiting for me. Along the way, my midwife texted to reschedule the appointment to Thursday and I laughed during my voice-text because I was very tired and that worked great for me. I added, “or when Baby is ready,” as a joke because my babies have all come on or after the due date. Everyone had been rooting for a February birth since the official “due date” was February 24th, and except for Lucas, my wee ones were between 9 and 13 days “overdue” so I usually ignored the due date and just gave a general month (in this case, I’d been saying March).

I got Christina, teased her about driving (she’s recently received her learner’s permit), and we headed home. Sheba was acting odd, I was starving; Louis had made lasagna Monday so I ate a huge plate and took a short nap.

When I got to gym with Becky (her class is on Tuesday, the others are all Wednesday), the contractions were still there, but, like I said, that is normal for me. It had been happening off and on already for about a week and a half, so I just went about work because they were easy to ignore. Some friends and I chatted about babies as I was leaving, and someone said, “you know about your body by now, right?” I laughed, “each is different, but I’m still thinking March.”

Wow, was I wrong.

As Becky texted Christina and Louis to tell them we were off & headed to pick up Christina at CAP, Becky said, “Mom, I can’t drive us home, but if the baby keeps contracting like that, maybe Christina can.”

We laughed. Part of the driving restrictions on a learner’s permit forbid night driving for the first few months; but we always teased Christina that she’d have to drive home in the dark if I was in labor.

Home, I was starved, but my belly felt full after four strawberries. I took a shower and crashed. I kept waking up every couple hours, but I’m a light sleeper so that’s also normal. Each time, though, I noticed contractions. I’d check my phone just to see what time it was. Midnight. 1:40. 2:30. 3:50. At almost 4, I realized I was sweating and I decided to wait for fifteen minutes (so the water softener cycle was finished) and take a shower. The next glance at my watch showed 4:19. I took a shower and the first contraction after the water hit was very strong. I felt movement inside me. “Wow, you sure you’re ready?” I asked. I was sure that was just a fluke and usually the warm water calms contractions down. When the next two made my legs feel like jelly, I got out of the shower and crawled back into bed. The phone said 4:35. I wasn’t about to wake anyone or call Misti for three oddly strong contractions.

I tried to sleep. I had about two hours before I had to get ready for work.

At somewhere before 6am, I tried getting ready for work. I had to stop and breathe through contractions that were easy to time and I felt the baby moving slowly down inside of me. I was about to wake Louis but ended up stretching through a contraction. We have a mind link, I think. Louis woke up as I was stretching. He goes into mega cleaning and question mode. This is his serious mode. He has been through it enough to know we were going to have a baby this morning – or at least today. He told me to call Misti, he woke the kids up to help clean (normally, we clean before bed, but they had been in a non-cleaning mood the previous night), and directed the house with efficiency. I was restless, so kept walking around in between. Christina and Becky didn’t want to get out of bed. I went into the barracks to find out why not.

“Mom! You can’t have the baby in here!” Christina shrieked, covering her head.

“So, get up please and help Daddy with cleaning. Y’all should have done that last night. Once you finish, you can go back to bed, but he’s really stressing about the house and people coming so please help.”

No answer. I could feel another contraction creeping up. “Okay, you have about 20 seconds before I get another contraction and…”

Christina bolted, “MOM! I’m up! I’ll help Dad! GET CONTRACTIONS OUT OF MY ROOM!”

Becky was up too. Kimberly was definitely awake. Mission accomplished. I went back to the kitchen table. My “leave” alarm reminded me to text or call my boss. 6am though, I figured I should just text – plus I didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment.

Misti showed up (can’t remember if the house was clean, but based on the voices and giggling and a movie being on, I’d guess it was straightened). Mom was on the way, she told us she had to be at one of my brother’s promotions at 8am. The girls had turned on “The Two Towers” and as Louis walked by during the Uruk-hai production scene and he ordered, “Turn that off, you can see a real birth soon enough.” I can’t remember if the result was “Wild Kratts” or “Dumbo” but there was something far less messy on the tv a minute later. (I did hear one of the teenagers or preteens quip, “Mom will sound like an orc.” Louis and I laughed. We’re nerds.)

By 8:30, I was immune to the world. I heard Misti’s voice, smelled Louis (I was leaning on him), and faintly heard background voices. I was focused on this job.

8:42am and our little one came into the world, veiled. Misti took the bag off and the Baby screamed to test the limit of her lungs! (We didn’t know Baby was a “she” just yet!) Baby opened her eyes fully and stared up at me. Then she screamed to rattle the roof again. The dogs were barking. We discovered our Baby was Thea!

Welcome to our crazy world, Theadora Taliesyn Tart. You are loved and cherished!

Theadora (after her great-grandfather Melvin Theodore Pearson) means “gifted by God” and Taliesyn (feminine form of your grandfather’s favorite character from a Celtic legend) means, “one with the shining brow, one who sings wisdom.” And Daddy chose the nickname “Thea” because he likes it. (Your uncle texted that he’d call you “3T” – yes, Daddy searched for two “T” names we both liked!) I kept both names the same length, since that’s what we’ve done – all of the children’s names have the same number of letters in the first name and middle name. Theadora 8 letters, Taliesyn 8 letters – told you we are nerds.

Mom (Grandma Joanne in the pictures) came back with a shower of baby girl goodies! (And, yes, this is why she’s in such cute clothes once we managed to get them on her!)

Theadora, I pray you always feel the love of your family as you wiggle your way up to adulthood. I pray you feel the warmth and see the light of God’s love reflected in the faces of your sisters and brother, mother and father, aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins. We have accepted the honor of being your guides to lead you to Jesus, to raise you in love, and to give you room to find, develop, and follow the passion of life God has rooted within you. You are a daughter of God, a precious gift to us, and chosen to bring light through your smile.

Becky said I can’t post a baby story without her pictures! So here is a little slideshow:

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Lucas kept trying to “pet” and “kiss” Baby Thea

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Christina & Thea (oldest & youngest)

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Lucas said “you are my love, Baby Thea!”

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Grandma Joanne & Thea

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Christina and Becky are already vying for who gets the baby

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Kimberly and Thea

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Jillian and Thea

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Theadora Taliesyn Tart

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This is Christina’s favorite from Thea’s birthday

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Jaquline and Thea

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Becky and Thea

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Daddy and Thea

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Aunt Becca and Thea

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Thea and Mommy

Hope this brought you a smile!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Thrill Seekers

May 21, 2017

Three Generations of Thrill Seekers (Scream!)

     As a teenager, I went to Six Flags over Georgia with my youth group.  My mom was one of the chaperones. (That really means adults who want to have fun and use watching the kids as an excuse.)  My mother loves roller coasters.  I rode Scream with my mom. (LOVED it!) I rode everything else in the whole park too, but that ride was my favorite because my brain envisioned the car flying off or the wooden ride collapsing due to a secret termite infestation.  I loved scary and risky so I loved thrill rides.  I thought it was super neat that my mom loved them too.

Fast forward to my own little ones and we happen to be at Six Flags one day. (It was supposed to be Wild Adventures, but we didn’t check operating day until at 4am when we are on the way.  That park was closed so my crew is like “Let’s visit family in Atlanta!” and they were busy until afternoon so Six Flags it was.)

Big girls and Louis went for the big rides with long lines while Kimberly, Jaquline, Jillian, Lucas, and I went to the kiddie zone and they had an awesome time.  Lucas, we learned, was just as much a crazy risky-feeling ride lover that all the kids were. (Probably the result of Daddy, uncles, and big sisters swinging him around!)  We gathered together and swapped partners with me and Lucas as “base” since Lucas couldn’t go on anything by himself and I was dispatching.  (In an amusement park, 8 hours away, yes, working.)

Jillian hadn’t done any roller coasters yet because almost everything she missed by a hair.  An hour from close, Louis asked each girl what ride they wanted to do.  Jillian instantly shouts “Scream with Mom!” This results in me and my baby girl riding Scream for her first roller coaster ride.  I’m not much of a picture taker, (NEVER selfies) but when we got in the car, Jillian says, “I want a picture with you on my first ride!” (1st roller coaster, but I guess all the other rides didn’t count.) So, my first attempt at a selfie was me and my baby girl on the same ride I rode with my mom twenty years before.

We are a thrill seeker (or crazy, nuts for brains, no concept of reality, love to be scared to death) family.  We just see the fun and go, no planning, no thinking about what if this or that fails; we just trust that everything will be okay and we will enjoy the ride we are on.  It sounds a lot like life.  You never know what you will find.  You never know what challenge or risk or turn will be ahead.  You just have to hold on tight and go for it.  Trusting that God will take care of anything you can’t handle, give you strength and tools for what you can, and hold the safe end in His hand.

The fun comes with being thankful in every moment, finding the good even within the challenges, and encouraging others along the way.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~ Nancy Tart

 

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