“War Room” Thoughts

March 24, 2018

“War Room” Thoughts

Have you seen “War Room?”  If not, please do so!  It’s a wonderful movie that my children watch at least once every week or so.  Miss Clara is their favorite character.

Just in case you haven’t seen it, I’ll give you a tiny run down without spoiling the story: Miss Clara, a prayer warrior, wants to teach a young wife who is having marital issues, how to “fight” well with the right weapons (prayer) and against the real enemy.

This movie has opened much dialogue between my preteens, teenager, and me about marriage and relationships in general.  I love anything that opens the teaching door, so this is excellent.

Pray.  Miss Clara prays in her closet every day, she writes prayers for each area of her life, copies scripture to think on, and thanks Jesus for everything in her life.  Prayer is discussion; opening your heart to Jesus and letting Him know you need Him.  I don’t have a closet that is my prayer space; I tend to just pray wherever.  Honestly, for me it’s like with any other relationship: I talk when I think about it.  I know He’s always there, so I can openly talk to Jesus whenever.  I love that.  I feel closest to Him in nature.  Outside, hanging clothes, checking on the chickens, working in the garden, mowing, or walking in some part of Real Florida; these open my heart to feel close.  (And usually I end up talking and my girls smile – visitor children often think I’m nuts, which may just be right.)

Love.  Jesus loved each of us so much that He died for us while we were sinners (meaning we didn’t love Him yet, we were part of the “crucify him” crowd!) so if we can be loved unconditionally, we should return that love to others.  Especially our family.  (Husband, wife, children, parents, siblings, etc.) I try to see others through “love glasses” and this means to me that I see their positive qualities.  This seriously helps when I’m around someone who seems antagonistic toward me; I look for the positive and remember that Jesus loves this person just as they are and wants me to love them as well.  I will probably never agree with every family member on everything, but I can love them anyway.  (Granted, this is not someone hurting me, just someone I may have differences of opinions with… which some people get defensive and irritable when they know someone doesn’t agree with them.)

Trust.  When it comes to family and building relationships, trust is paramount.  You have to keep your word, respect others, and never lie.  It’s hard to trust those who lie (sometimes you can’t).  There was a child who was always asked “want to go fishing?” by a family member and a date picked, but then something always broke the date.  This child ended up saying to his parents of this person, “they don’t mean it,” because he had learned not to trust.  It’s so sad to see trust broken.

Submission.  This one line in the movie started a three hour conversation with one of my preteens… “my momma always said submission meant duck so God can smack your husband.”  It actually sounds sad to me, but often are we protecting those we love from the consequences of their actions?  Moms do it to our children if we aren’t careful.  Do we warn them about putting their bike away but then at dusk we are putting it away for them?  Do we tell them to finish a project for school but at the last minute it’s become our project?  As far as husbands and wives go, neither should be “fixing” the other.  God is the only one who can change a person’s heart.  We can pray for our mate, but if God thinks they need to change it will be between God and our mate – probably without our nagging.

I try to expand the principles of what we see to match not only the illustration seen in the movie, book, or example.  I can expound further on these four highlights and apply them to every area of our relationships and our own lives, (which, yes, I do with my girls 😉 ) but for now I’ve got to finish supper.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

 

Who You Are

July 28, 2017

Who You Are

As a teen, I decided never to “change myself” for others.  I watch people.  I watched many relationships in various stages during my teenage years and learned that I didn’t want to present myself as something I wasn’t.  It seemed that those who faked who they were had a hard time in their relationships.  You don’t have to pretend to love everything another person enjoys to “capture” them.  My mom didn’t have to bury herself in computer code to get my Daddy’s attention, she just does the bend and snap.

I analyzed the relationships of those whose love I admired.  They were the couples who had vowed til death do us part and meant it.  They enjoyed each other’s company in simple pleasures, like taking a walk, exploring a park, watching a movie, or eating a meal.  They built their relationship on trust and honesty.  They didn’t always do everything together.  They didn’t always have the same interests.  They did respect each other.  They loved each other.  They did life together.

I didn’t want a “catch” or “conquest.”  I wanted a best friend.  I wanted someone to grow up with, raise a family with, get old together with, and enjoy forever – I wanted someone to do life with.

I like to dress up (Heels, skirts, blouses and dresses) for church, work, and dinner.  I’m competitive.  If you want to play a game with me, I’m going to try to win!  I’m stubborn, so I won’t surrender.  I love to be outside.  If you ask what I want to do, surfing, tennis, bicycling, and swimming top the list.  I love worship.  I love to dance and be childish when I’m happy or feel free.  If I’m watching a sunrise on the beach, I am likely to start singing and twirling.  Bored on a bus or in a ride queue?  I’m probably singing some silly song with whatever child will sing along.  I am myself.  I wasn’t looking to change anyone else, so why would anyone want to change me?

That was my attitude; still is.

Truly it came down to self-worth.  I knew that God loved me so what else mattered?  My self-worth was in how God saw me.  I figured He died for me.  He must think I’m something good.  Out of love for Him, I’m constantly trying to improve myself, but not because He says I’m no good as I am.  (I am also a perfectionist, so yes, I’m always critically looking at myself and trying to self-improve – we tend to be hardest on ourselves.)  I especially want my girls to know that no matter what flaws they see in themselves, they are always loved by God.  (And by family, of course, but we are all human so putting your idea of self-worth in a person isn’t perfect.)

So think of who you are.  How do you see yourself?  Are you seeing yourself as the amazingly beautiful creation that Jesus loved so much He died and rose again so you can have life with Him forever?  You are a beloved child of God.

Today, my sense of self-worth is still in how God sees me.  This has helped me not to expect perfection from anyone except God.  (That seriously helps with all relationships!)

I have my husband, daughters, son, family, and friends to do life with.  We are loving every day of it!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

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