Tag: trust

“War Room” Thoughts

March 24, 2018

“War Room” Thoughts

Have you seen “War Room?”  If not, please do so!  It’s a wonderful movie that my children watch at least once every week or so.  Miss Clara is their favorite character.

Just in case you haven’t seen it, I’ll give you a tiny run down without spoiling the story: Miss Clara, a prayer warrior, wants to teach a young wife who is having marital issues, how to “fight” well with the right weapons (prayer) and against the real enemy.

This movie has opened much dialogue between my preteens, teenager, and me about marriage and relationships in general.  I love anything that opens the teaching door, so this is excellent.

Pray.  Miss Clara prays in her closet every day, she writes prayers for each area of her life, copies scripture to think on, and thanks Jesus for everything in her life.  Prayer is discussion; opening your heart to Jesus and letting Him know you need Him.  I don’t have a closet that is my prayer space; I tend to just pray wherever.  Honestly, for me it’s like with any other relationship: I talk when I think about it.  I know He’s always there, so I can openly talk to Jesus whenever.  I love that.  I feel closest to Him in nature.  Outside, hanging clothes, checking on the chickens, working in the garden, mowing, or walking in some part of Real Florida; these open my heart to feel close.  (And usually I end up talking and my girls smile – visitor children often think I’m nuts, which may just be right.)

Love.  Jesus loved each of us so much that He died for us while we were sinners (meaning we didn’t love Him yet, we were part of the “crucify him” crowd!) so if we can be loved unconditionally, we should return that love to others.  Especially our family.  (Husband, wife, children, parents, siblings, etc.) I try to see others through “love glasses” and this means to me that I see their positive qualities.  This seriously helps when I’m around someone who seems antagonistic toward me; I look for the positive and remember that Jesus loves this person just as they are and wants me to love them as well.  I will probably never agree with every family member on everything, but I can love them anyway.  (Granted, this is not someone hurting me, just someone I may have differences of opinions with… which some people get defensive and irritable when they know someone doesn’t agree with them.)

Trust.  When it comes to family and building relationships, trust is paramount.  You have to keep your word, respect others, and never lie.  It’s hard to trust those who lie (sometimes you can’t).  There was a child who was always asked “want to go fishing?” by a family member and a date picked, but then something always broke the date.  This child ended up saying to his parents of this person, “they don’t mean it,” because he had learned not to trust.  It’s so sad to see trust broken.

Submission.  This one line in the movie started a three hour conversation with one of my preteens… “my momma always said submission meant duck so God can smack your husband.”  It actually sounds sad to me, but often are we protecting those we love from the consequences of their actions?  Moms do it to our children if we aren’t careful.  Do we warn them about putting their bike away but then at dusk we are putting it away for them?  Do we tell them to finish a project for school but at the last minute it’s become our project?  As far as husbands and wives go, neither should be “fixing” the other.  God is the only one who can change a person’s heart.  We can pray for our mate, but if God thinks they need to change it will be between God and our mate – probably without our nagging.

I try to expand the principles of what we see to match not only the illustration seen in the movie, book, or example.  I can expound further on these four highlights and apply them to every area of our relationships and our own lives, (which, yes, I do with my girls 😉 ) but for now I’ve got to finish supper.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

 

Who You Are

July 28, 2017

Who You Are

As a teen, I decided never to “change myself” for others.  I watch people.  I watched many relationships in various stages during my teenage years and learned that I didn’t want to present myself as something I wasn’t.  It seemed that those who faked who they were had a hard time in their relationships.  You don’t have to pretend to love everything another person enjoys to “capture” them.  My mom didn’t have to bury herself in computer code to get my Daddy’s attention, she just does the bend and snap.

I analyzed the relationships of those whose love I admired.  They were the couples who had vowed til death do us part and meant it.  They enjoyed each other’s company in simple pleasures, like taking a walk, exploring a park, watching a movie, or eating a meal.  They built their relationship on trust and honesty.  They didn’t always do everything together.  They didn’t always have the same interests.  They did respect each other.  They loved each other.  They did life together.

I didn’t want a “catch” or “conquest.”  I wanted a best friend.  I wanted someone to grow up with, raise a family with, get old together with, and enjoy forever – I wanted someone to do life with.

I like to dress up (Heels, skirts, blouses and dresses) for church, work, and dinner.  I’m competitive.  If you want to play a game with me, I’m going to try to win!  I’m stubborn, so I won’t surrender.  I love to be outside.  If you ask what I want to do, surfing, tennis, bicycling, and swimming top the list.  I love worship.  I love to dance and be childish when I’m happy or feel free.  If I’m watching a sunrise on the beach, I am likely to start singing and twirling.  Bored on a bus or in a ride queue?  I’m probably singing some silly song with whatever child will sing along.  I am myself.  I wasn’t looking to change anyone else, so why would anyone want to change me?

That was my attitude; still is.

Truly it came down to self-worth.  I knew that God loved me so what else mattered?  My self-worth was in how God saw me.  I figured He died for me.  He must think I’m something good.  Out of love for Him, I’m constantly trying to improve myself, but not because He says I’m no good as I am.  (I am also a perfectionist, so yes, I’m always critically looking at myself and trying to self-improve – we tend to be hardest on ourselves.)  I especially want my girls to know that no matter what flaws they see in themselves, they are always loved by God.  (And by family, of course, but we are all human so putting your idea of self-worth in a person isn’t perfect.)

So think of who you are.  How do you see yourself?  Are you seeing yourself as the amazingly beautiful creation that Jesus loved so much He died and rose again so you can have life with Him forever?  You are a beloved child of God.

Today, my sense of self-worth is still in how God sees me.  This has helped me not to expect perfection from anyone except God.  (That seriously helps with all relationships!)

I have my husband, daughters, son, family, and friends to do life with.  We are loving every day of it!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Baby-Surfing

How one adventureous toddler gets his thrills.

July 19, 2017

Baby-Surfing

Certainly you’ve heard of surfing.  You know, the ancient art of riding a plank of wood on the waves?  Then we created lighter, smoother, conventional surfboards so we didn’t get splinters in our feet or stomachs and we weren’t worn out after dragging our plank to the ocean.  

What if we forget our surfboard?  Or, in our case, we decided to go to the beach on the “spur of the moment” and happen to have bathing suits because it’s Florida and a bathing suit is standard wear.  Then there is always your body!  ”Body-surfing” is when you catch the wave like a dolphin, with just your body!  You dive into the swell and the wave picks you up and carries you until it breaks, sometimes all the way to shore!

But have you ever heard of baby-surfing?  That is when a baby with monkey-grab-on power rides mom when she’s body surfing.  Lucas invented baby-surfing when we went to the beach.  (I’m sure it’s been around as long as surfing, but for us, it was a new concept!)  

The beach was gorgeous.  It always is.  The tide was coming in, almost high, and the waves were breaking in long, straight rows.  Perfect!  Before Lucas and I made it to the water, the girls were already body-surfing and their laughter sprinkled through the air like sunbeams reflecting off the water.  Jaquline is obsessed with “getting tube” – her term for catching the wave before it breaks and riding through it as it closes.  She is so light and fast that she can usually do this even with smaller waves.  

Lucas clung to my back and shouted “surfing!”  

He’s ridden the board with us before, but not body-surfed as he isn’t a fully independent swimmer yet.  (He knows how to hold his breath, paddle and kick, and get upright, but not really swim yet – he is just two.) 

But Lucas LOVES the ocean!  Well, Mom and Daddy went surfing all the time while dating, and the board he rides on is Granddaddy’s, so he gets it naturally.

The waves weren’t rough.  They were about a foot and a half, maybe two, but even Jillian (who is five) was body-surfing them.  So we jumped in!  We only had to go out about thirty feet to catch them.  The water was refreshing and about waist deep to an adult.  For Rebeccah it was waist deep, but for Kimberly and Jaquline it was eight-ball high (midway between waist & shoulders).  

“Whoooo-eeeeeee!” Lucas hollered as we caught the first wave – about a 20-foot ride.  I stood up and Rebeccah asks, “Lucas, did you like that?” 

Lucas let go of my shoulders and yelled “AGAIN!!” His legs were still locked around my waist but he threw his head back into the next wave.  As he popped out of the water he shook his spiky blonde hair and shouted, “AGAIN!  SURFING AGAIN MOMMY!” 

As an infant of 8 months, this beach baby started trips to the beach by racing into the surf, getting tossed back, and getting right back up and running out again!  This is the way of Lucas, so much adventure in that tiny package!  

Every time we caught a wave he whooped and hollered like a rodeo cowboy.  Every time I stood up at the end of a ride, he hopped up and down while still clinging to me and yelled “AGAIN MOMMY!” or “SURFING!”  Every time one of the girls caught a wave as we were trooping back out, he joined me in cheering them on.  

Mom would say stuff like: “Yeah, Jillian!”  ”Good job, Jaquline!”  ”Grab it, Kimberly!”  ”Nice! Rebeccah!”  

Lucas would shout: “Wheeee!”  ”Whoooo!”  ”SURFING!”  ”YEAH!”  ”BECCA!”  (Since we call my sister, “Aunt Becca,” he shortens Rebeccah’s name to “Becca” sometimes too.)

After about an hour or so, (No one in the ocean pays attention to time – they are having too much fun!) I felt Lucas falling asleep.  ”Are you ready to go build sandcastles?” (Trying to get him to the beach, he loves building – and demolishing – sandcastles.)

“No, Mommy,” he’s clinging to me like a monkey still, his voice sleepy slow, “SURFING!”  

End of the next ride, “Are you ready for food, Lucas?”  (Food usually gets Lucas’ attention away from anything else.) 

“No, Mommy!  AGAIN!”  

“Just one last ride, okay?” So one last ride, one last “Baby-Surfing” ride.  This was the biggest of the day, we had to go quite a bit farther out to catch it (as the tide was turning, the waves were breaking farther out, but the water level still wasn’t any deeper), but what a thrill riding it back in!  Rebeccah, Kimberly, and Jaquline joined in the last big wave – we rode it all the way in.  (Of course, the girls ran right back out for “just one more.”) Lucas was asleep before we got to the van!  Christina commented, “wow, Mom, Baby-Surfing wore Lucas right out.”  

Perfect trust, perfect fun, perfect day!  Thank you, Jesus, for the awesome rides!

Thanks for reading!

Talk at you later…

~Nancy Tart

Double Break

Once upon a time, the princess had a double break

July 12, 2017

Double Break

Once there was a princess.  She was seven years old and she loved climbing in trees.

She had a pretty purse her aunt had given her for her birthday.  For four months, it had never left her arm.

She also had a favorite pair of shoes.  Not active, sturdy, outside shoes, but dressy magic boots so worn out that the bottoms were falling off (mom had tossed them into the trash can multiple times, but magically they appeared back on Jaquline’s feet).

It was the end of a long, fun day.  Mom called everyone in for dinner.  It was almost 7pm.  Jaquline, Jillian, and Kimberly decided to play one more game of tag.  Jaquline raced to climb up base (the tree) and got about 5 feet up before her shoes slid, purse got caught, and she fell.

Echoing through the neighborhood was the type of pain scream that Moms dread.

Within 5 minutes, Christina had gathered the other 4 kids into the SUV, while Rebeccah (with her awesome bedside calming manner) soothed Jaquline and Mom carried her into the vehicle.  We could see one of the breaks easily – it looked like a crumpled, tiny T-Rex arm had grown just above Jaquline’s right wrist.

Mom sped to the hospital.

Christina called Daddy so he could meet them there (he was at work).  Jaquline had her call Grandma so she could pray with her.  Rebeccah sang funny songs and told jokes while she held Jaquline’s body and arms still.

Jaquline had broken her right distal ulna and radius (within 2 inches of the wrist joint is “distal”) in a “closed break” (it didn’t break skin, but was “compound” because the break was completely through the bone – in 3 places on both bones) and her left distal ulna was broken, distal radius cracked, and scaphoid (a wrist bone) dislocated.  She told every doctor, nurse, and CNA who came in that as she fell she didn’t want to hit her head or neck, back, tummy, legs, so caught herself with her arms.  When they gave her some “funny juice” to make her not feel the pain while they snapped the bones back in place, she told us about unicorns, a palace in the clouds, and flying.  She told the doctor that “God is sewing my bones back together.”

She was limited (barely! she was still only for the first few hours) for a few weeks in two casts.  We had to keep telling her she was a princess and couldn’t get up off the couch (this was the first time she didn’t want to be a princess).  She had the right cast on for an additional three weeks.

There were many miracles during this time.  First, God put strong, capable medical staff in our path.  Several even prayed with Jaquline.  Jaquline’s bones started knitting back together quickly.  At her 6 week appointment (removal of second cast), her x-rays showed complete healing.  The doctor said “normal” regrowth would have been 1.5mm, Jaquline’s was over 5mm.  There was a bone “spur” (part angled out that wasn’t straight, it looked like a bump on the bone) but by the 3 month appointment, it was completely gone.  They were concerned about range of motion in her wrists, especially the right one because of being in the casts so long, but that was fine too – she did hand and finger exercises every day.  (She did all kinds of stuff every day!  We moved while she was in her casts!)

We learned a lot about our bones, how our bodies heal and grow, and about the various medical professionals who were part of helping Jaquline.  She is considering orthopedic medicine because “I want to help people like my doctors and nurses helped me.”

The picture is from the one week when she had matching purple and pink camo casts (the nurse even put glitter on one).

Although she hasn’t been climbing many trees lately, she’s back to 100% and has learned a lot through this adventure.  She taught us about her faith in God.  She never even considered that her bones wouldn’t grow back straight or that she wouldn’t be able to “work” her thumbs and wrists.  She always trusted God and never quit trying.

I learned about the faith and determination of my Princess Jaquline.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

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