Sixteen Sweet Years

October 3, 2019

Sixteen Sweet Years

The one who first called me mother is sixteen years old.  Thank you, Jesus.  I am so grateful for being blessed with Christina!  I can’t imagine life without her. 

I truly understand that God entrusts us with raising his children.  There is such a wonderful humbling feeling in being able to watch my little baby grow into a young woman of God. 

For nine months I felt this tiny life growing inside of me.  We prayed over her (not knowing who she would be yet) and loved her from the time we imagined she would come.  She was born the eldest grandchild to both sets of grandparents – imagine such a crazy double blessing! 

Fast forward to today: she’s driving and we’re on the way to her job and Kimberly’s classes with Thea and I riding along (so I can take the car back home and Thea was just up with us so got to serenade us – she sings to music now).

I thank God daily for each of my children.  I know we aren’t promised tomorrow.  I treasure every day.  Every time I get to hear Thea sing notes (no words yet, just “aaaahh-ooooh-aaah”) to music, every time Lucas builds a train track that snakes all over the front room, every time Jillian is jumping like a pogo stick because she learned a new skill or mastered a math concept, every time Jaquline makes something new, every time I get to see Kimberly march (in Civil Air Patrol) or practice some new flip (gymnastics), every time I see Becky snuggle with Lucas, Thea, and Jillian on my bed reading “Angel and the Ring” (Lucas’ favorite), every time Christina ranks up or encourages someone else… every time I get to spend life with my children. 

They don’t have to come to me when they need to talk about something or ask personal of difficult questions – I thank God that they do.  They could bury themselves in isolation from “the parents” but I’m super thankful that they choose to be around us when we are home.  In this precious time while they are close, I want to talk, snuggle, read, play games, cook together, watch them build, invent and grow, and see them climb closer to Jesus.  I am so thankful for the time we’ve been given together.

I became a mom on December 24, 2002.  My little life began inside me and I excitedly whispered it to my mother on Christmas Day because I knew she wouldn’t think it odd that I “felt” my angel start inside me. My first pregnancy journey ended with my beautiful young woman who is driving beside me now.  There is something humbling and awe-inspiring when you hold that first tiny human and realize that God has gifted you with one of His children to raise up.  Once through that, I felt the same huge responsibility and humbling gratitude each time I felt the little life start. 

Life is a vapor; you look at your tiny child in your arms and when you open your eyes again, she’s been flying a plane and driving a vehicle, doing college classes and working a job.  Though she is nearing the time she can choose to leave your home you carefully built for her, you continue to enjoy each day, each opportunity to be around her.  You pray thankful for the time you’ve had and for her safety and future. 

Those years speed by.  The love you carry never leaves.  No matter if your youngling is plucked early to fill heaven with joy, your love remains as strong as the day you discovered them growing inside you – a mother’s love never stops.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Pondering in My Heart

My pregnancy brain thoughts about Mary in her culture and her time – and how it relates to us in our time.

December 24, 2018

Pondering in My Heart

It’s Christmas Eve.

Usually, at this time, my mind overflows with thoughts about Mary, Jesus’ mother.  I think about her boldness when she says “let it be to me as you have said.”  I think about how the Bible always adds this little line after something she hears or watches; “and Mary pondered this in her heart.”

I especially feel empathy over the Christmases when I’ve been pregnant.  (2009 and 2011 when my babies came a few days into the new year were very busy with my pondering… so much that I wrote a children’s story about Jesus’ birth one of those years!)  This year, my little blessing is due to show up in about eight or ten weeks.

I like to study the culture of the person I’m trying to study: the historical significance of their world, the turmoil they faced, the cultural norms that differ from what we have today.   These little details help me to step into their shoes and wiggle my toes around. I like to imagine what it would have been like to be Mary, likely between 12 and 14 years old, among her Jewish community controlled by an Empirical Roman government when highways were roamed by soldiers and bandits, family and community were everything (so doing something against the community would have been horrid), and the talk of sedition (rebellion) was strong and swiftly crushed.  I wonder about her life: her childhood, her struggles as a parent, wife, and community member.  I remember that when she said “let it be unto me…” she was just a normal girl allowing God to use her.

She was like any one of us.

She had to humble herself before God and she doubted; as she even said, “but how can this be…” questioning the miracle before agreeing to be part of it.

She must have been a logical thinker like me.  “…pondered this in her heart…” That is what I do all the time.  Whether or not I speak, write, or pray about it, I think about everything that God surprises me with in life.  I want to put the puzzle together, but realize that God knows far more than me so I relax and resign myself to just “pondering” (thinking) and praying about what I don’t understand.

I love how the Bible uses real, authentic people.  People just like you and me are scattered in every story.  Every one of them has doubts, challenges, questions, obstacles, and life choices just like us.  Every one of them must make their own decisions, just like us.

We like to think of them in their glory – after they’ve moved to where they are in victory.  We remember David killing Goliath, Samson destroying the false temple, Mary as Jesus’ mother at or after his birth, Peter evangelizing, Paul traveling all over the known world, etc.  But each of them started as a normal person who had to make his or her own active choice to give of themselves and allow God to take the lead.

During Christmastime when I’m constantly rereading the story of Jesus’ birth to my children, I’m reminded that I have to humble myself and allow God to continually take control in my life so I can be and do what God has planned for me.  I encourage you to give God control over every aspect of your life – He designed you, He knows you best!  He knows the desires of your heart and sometimes you may not even know them yourself!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

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