Tag: pregnant

Savor Life

We should savor life at every stage!

February 2, 2019

Savor Life

I’m a few weeks or so from giving birth to our seventh little miracle.

Lying in the bed (because of some biological oddities to hit just as this baby started, the cold that normally would take me two or three days to fight is taking a stretched-out time; I’m on day seven) Louis says, “if the afterbirth is harder each time, maybe we should stop with this one.”

I smiled, but since I was lying toward the wall, he couldn’t see.  “I’ve always treated each time as if it may be the last.”

“Really?” I guess this shocked him a little because I love being pregnant, I love the infant stage, I love the growing independence of the toddler stage, I love each and every step so far in this journey.   Although I’m fully prepared for God to say, “this is the last one” sometime, I’m also fully prepared to continue going through this amazing cycle of mothering a miracle.

Yes.

I guess it’s complicated.

See, about the time I was pregnant with Kimberly, I grew a great deal in my understanding of how to allow God to have full control in my entire life.  I thought I trusted Him with everything but realized that I was quietly hoping to have a multitude of children and not really okay with less – or even three.  But I asked myself, “What if God’s perfect number for you is three?”

I began to realize that God’s perfection was not limited nor driven by my wants.  (DUH!)

I decided early during that pregnancy (with Kimberly) that I would savor every second, every feeling, every hiccup, stretch, movement, and challenge that came along as if this were the last time I would carry life.

I already loved being pregnant.  I shared that love with my mother and Louis’ Grandma Honey (she told me once she would have been pregnant her entire life if God had allowed her!).

At that time, I had a shift of my mental state.  Instead of trying to always project perfection, I wanted to savor life with my family.  If this meant not fully finishing with a cleaning chore before we went somewhere, then okay.  If this meant taking a break to look at a cool flower while I’m supposed to be hanging clothes, okay.  If this meant letting someone else watch the kids so Louis and I could go out, then that was okay.  I realized I was trying to follow other peoples’ ideas of what my life should look like and had unconsciously adopted those ideas as “perfection” – and yes, perfection as it was in my brain was never truly achievable!

My stress level fell so much in those few months while I grew Kimberly in my belly and started a new “temp” job.  I may have looked busier, but I felt so liberated!

Even though what followed (from 5-weeks after Kimberly’s birth) was what I honestly believe was the most grueling, difficult 18 months of Louis & my married life, I was able to find a well of thankfulness to pull from when I felt so far down.  Without my new understanding of submitting totally to God’s plan, I would have probably allowed the horrid miscarriage to drag me into the jaws of depression.  I realized even as I cried in the stupid bulk-grocery-store bathroom, by myself, hundreds of miles from home, while I “passed” the fragments of what was once a life I felt and loved, that God had even this time in His hands.  He knew all the whys and I wasn’t to understand them; just to trust Him.

So, fast forward almost 12 years and  here I am lying with this little miracle kicking up a nice sensitive bruise under my right side.  Life in its cycle, totally unexpected, another prime example of God’s timing and perfect wisdom (Click here for that crazy amazing story!).  I’m rubbing on my belly because it makes the Baby move around and react to my touch – and I LOVE that.  I’m playing with this little one before he/she is born!

God has done so much, so many unexpected things that have lifted us up despite the weird, harsh, and unexpected challenges this past year.  God has taught me to savor all life – all stages and parts, from babies and pregnancy to friendships and siblings.  Take time for and savor everything.  There are miracles everywhere.  Yes, I’m okay if this is my last pregnancy and birth.  I’d long ago given all control to God.  I mean, if I trust Him with something so awesome as my salvation and eternal life, how can I not trust His wisdom in family size?

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

The Coldest Day

When you’ve worked almost two years to get a harvest and a deep freeze threatens; you save the navel oranges! Jaquline’s Birthday Story

January 4, 2019

The Coldest Day

This is story of the coldest day for us in winter 2009-2010:

It was the second winter in the farm house.  We loved that house because there were twelve citrus trees, a huge ancient fig tree, an Asian pear tree, tons of mulberry, pecan, and oak trees, an old neglected trio of muscadine grape vines on the arbor, and blackberry vines in thickets around the perimeter fence.

We had worked feeding and tending each of the trees for almost two years.  Most had given us hearty thanks in the form of yummy, sweet fruit.  Well, the pecans actually were eaten by the over abundant squirrel population and one of the orange trees was sour so when we wanted lemonade we actually just popped off six of those giant sour oranges and made orangeade instead.  It was light yellow in color and except for a slight orange flavor; the girls thought it was lemonade!

There were two tangerines, one pink grapefruit, three yellow grapefruit, one tangelo, two small orange, one lime, and one sour orange tree that had given us fruit after the first winter.  Since it had been a mild winter with no deep freezes, the fruit was sweet and had set on the trees over spring as we harvested it in perfectly manageable sets.

Only the navel orange hadn’t yielded fruit.  Until this year.  It was so loaded we had to support the weaker limbs with stilts despite heavy pruning during the summer!  We were so excited because we’d been told it was the sweetest fruit but almost never had a crop.  It looked like we had accomplished our goal!

But this winter had only just started.

We’d already had almost a week of mild freezes – just enough for frost, but not enough to freeze the fruit.  Grandma Jeanette had called them “sugar freezes.”  Now I knew that was because citrus fruit needs five to seven days of light freezes to sweeten.  However, the one deep freeze could destroy the whole crop as it would freeze the fruit through the skins and rot them.  We had watered down each tree carefully just before sunrise after each of the light freezes, but the forecast said tomorrow, January 7, 2010, we would wake to temperatures below 28 degrees.  In our little area, we sunk two to four degrees below what the news said every time.

This would be a fruit-killing deep freeze.

And of all our citrus, the navel orange had the thinnest skin so would be the most affected.

I determined we would harvest all that fruit today.

We didn’t do school lessons, but immediately after milking the cow and feeding the chickens, we tugged the blue fruit bucket (a giant plastic washtub that held about 12 bushels) over to the tree and started picking.  I sent Christina and Rebeccah into the tree.  At 6 and 4 they were already experts at climbing through citrus trees avoiding the horridly sharp thorns.  They scrambled up and out to get the highest fruit.  We worked on for hours, singing and laughing.  And my belly contracted.  I was 41 weeks pregnant.

After her work was over, Grandma Joanne showed up.  Seems there’s this old wives tale that if you reach up a lot while you’re pregnant, your baby will be all wrapped up in their cord.  (Maybe so, as 2-year-old Kimberly, who was racing around tossing fruit her sisters plopped on the ground into the bucket, had been born with her cord around her neck.  I hung clothes out on a line her whole pregnancy.)  I told her I wasn’t wasting this fruit.  I offered her a bag.  She didn’t think that was funny.  We were almost done.  We were on our third bucket and there were only a few scattered edge pickings left.  Rebeccah had decided they were unreachable.  That was why I was on the ladder to get them.  Christina was busy, putting the last bucket’s goodies into some of the fruit boxes in the garage.

Using the ladder and 4-prong rake (the girls call it the hand-tiller or the fruit-grabber depending on which use we were employing), we managed to get all of the succulent fruit off of that beautiful tree.

That night, I couldn’t sleep.  For the first time I watched all three “Lord of the Rings” extended editions back to back in the bed as I tried to sleep.  Baby was coming.

Early morning on the coldest day of our winter of 2009-2010, Jaquline Ellouise Tart was born.

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Jaquline and Grandma Joanne – Jaquline is less than an hour old.

Christina and Louis made us sweet, fresh orange juice for celebration drinks!  (And yes, Jaquline was born with a cord so long the midwife and her assistant measured it to confirm it was the longest they’d ever seen – and it was wrapped around her neck “like a winter scarf,” according to our midwife but was too long to pose a risk.)

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Jaquline and Lucas with leaves!

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Jaquline with Daddy at a football game!

Jaquline will be nine in a few days… and the story of the navel oranges picked the day before her birth is one of her favorites!   She also loves the part about how she chose to be born on the coldest day that hit our house that winter.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Fresh New Year

Who else is excited for 2019? Who else looks at the new year like a child on Christmas morning looks at presents around the tree?

December 31, 2018

Fresh New Year

“It’s still 2018, right?” asks Kimberly, working on her History.

“Yes, it’s the last day of 2018,” I respond.  Christina pipes in with, “and our Aunt’s birthday!”  (One of their aunts is born on December 31!)

This makes me think: (uh-oh, I just heard two kids say “Mom’s writing another blog in her head.”) Yes, my children know me!

Tomorrow starts a fresh new year.  We are given a new beginning each day as the dawn warms our skies and the sun rises to dry the dew.

In the service industry, all days blend together and all the New Year has meant for me in the past 8 years was a barrage of people calling to order reservations at 1am on New Year’s Day from the Bayfront downtown or 11pm from the Saint Augustine Beach peir (two locations at the times we can never promise) so then it turns into irritated people who don’t understand the simple line, “I can’t guarantee that time at that location, you can try to call us at the time to see where our cabs are.”

I’m so glad today does not involve dispatching!  I’m only answering questions from the school table – awesome!

In 2018:

  • I started working at WGV Gymnastics as a coach (LOVE this job).
  • We closed our taxi company in December.  It feels awesome to be able to shut off my phone and not worry about missing a reservation call!
  • I’ve finished, polished, and published four new children’s books: A Foundling Furball, Alena’s Baby, The Tightrope Dare, and Fibbing Fishermen!
  • I’ve rejoiced with the addition of my best friend’s 10th baby!
  • I’ve rejoiced with my sister who is due about the same time I am!  (They will be close cousins!)
  • I’ve mourned and rejoiced with my family after my Daddy passed.
  • I celebrated the first Christmas ever without him – that was his favorite holiday.
  • Christina achieved CAP rank of C/CMSgt, become Red Cross certified, started officially babysitting, started working as needed at what she calls “my somewhat part time job,” and completed her third college semester.
  • Becky completed her second college semester, bred and raised a few dozen chicks up to “independence” for clients, raised her batches of “babies” (aka Guinea Piglets), joined gymnastics classes (finally finding something to encourage her fitness!), and has taught most of her siblings the Latin terms for every body part since she’s been dissecting animals in her biology labs!
  • Kimberly joined gymnastics classes with her gung-ho attitude and is expecting great things from herself, was gifted a bunny (she’s been saving to adopt one for almost a year but her awesome big sisters beat her to it) and Minuit has never left her side.
  • Jaquline discovered the amazing world of Geometry and everything is now interpreted in shapes or gymnastics skills!
  • Jillian started losing teeth, is studying sketching (she’s getting rather good actually!) and digital art along with Becky, and getting herself lost in the world of reading!
  • Lucas started trying to write his name!

We are all expecting amazing things to come in 2019.  God has paths lined up for us that we may not even be able to see yet – if you’d told me at the start of 2018 that I’d be teaching gymnastics for an awesome Christian boss, be pregnant again, and have no taxi company, I would have laughed.

But (positive!) God knows the desires of our hearts!  He knows I love children, love teaching, and that gymnastics has always been a dream. (Dream job come true?  YES!)  He knows Lucas loves babies and is super excited about getting to “take MY BABY home from church.”  (All the other babies he’s been around are those of church family, so he can’t take them home.)  He knows that rebuilding hybrid batteries is something else I love – tinkering with electronics as Daddy taught me & a niche few offer around here so maybe that will be our main income soon!

I’m about to polish and release a few more children’s books (maybe an entire new series working around my budding illustrators’ work!) and my goal for this year is 12 releases.

Who else is excited for 2019?  Who else looks at the new year like a child on Christmas morning looks at presents around the tree?  I see each day as a gift from God to be opened at each dawn.  I see gifts we can’t even dream of yet sitting there, waiting God’s perfect timing for us to unwrap and enjoy.  I’m praying that certain things are there – which day holds the gift of my child’s birth?  Does a gift in that pile include a property or home of our own?  Is there a gift of being able to read my books before a class, teach a grammar workshop, or tutor another child?  Only God knows what each gift holds.  My Daddy loved seeing the smiles and squeals of excitement on Christmas morning as his children opened presents – I love this part of Christmas morning as a parent too.  I can only imagine God smiling as we open each gift and yelp with excitement!

Enjoy your daily gifts in 2019!  Happy, blessed New Year!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Pondering in My Heart

My pregnancy brain thoughts about Mary in her culture and her time – and how it relates to us in our time.

December 24, 2018

Pondering in My Heart

It’s Christmas Eve.

Usually, at this time, my mind overflows with thoughts about Mary, Jesus’ mother.  I think about her boldness when she says “let it be to me as you have said.”  I think about how the Bible always adds this little line after something she hears or watches; “and Mary pondered this in her heart.”

I especially feel empathy over the Christmases when I’ve been pregnant.  (2009 and 2011 when my babies came a few days into the new year were very busy with my pondering… so much that I wrote a children’s story about Jesus’ birth one of those years!)  This year, my little blessing is due to show up in about eight or ten weeks.

I like to study the culture of the person I’m trying to study: the historical significance of their world, the turmoil they faced, the cultural norms that differ from what we have today.   These little details help me to step into their shoes and wiggle my toes around. I like to imagine what it would have been like to be Mary, likely between 12 and 14 years old, among her Jewish community controlled by an Empirical Roman government when highways were roamed by soldiers and bandits, family and community were everything (so doing something against the community would have been horrid), and the talk of sedition (rebellion) was strong and swiftly crushed.  I wonder about her life: her childhood, her struggles as a parent, wife, and community member.  I remember that when she said “let it be unto me…” she was just a normal girl allowing God to use her.

She was like any one of us.

She had to humble herself before God and she doubted; as she even said, “but how can this be…” questioning the miracle before agreeing to be part of it.

She must have been a logical thinker like me.  “…pondered this in her heart…” That is what I do all the time.  Whether or not I speak, write, or pray about it, I think about everything that God surprises me with in life.  I want to put the puzzle together, but realize that God knows far more than me so I relax and resign myself to just “pondering” (thinking) and praying about what I don’t understand.

I love how the Bible uses real, authentic people.  People just like you and me are scattered in every story.  Every one of them has doubts, challenges, questions, obstacles, and life choices just like us.  Every one of them must make their own decisions, just like us.

We like to think of them in their glory – after they’ve moved to where they are in victory.  We remember David killing Goliath, Samson destroying the false temple, Mary as Jesus’ mother at or after his birth, Peter evangelizing, Paul traveling all over the known world, etc.  But each of them started as a normal person who had to make his or her own active choice to give of themselves and allow God to take the lead.

During Christmastime when I’m constantly rereading the story of Jesus’ birth to my children, I’m reminded that I have to humble myself and allow God to continually take control in my life so I can be and do what God has planned for me.  I encourage you to give God control over every aspect of your life – He designed you, He knows you best!  He knows the desires of your heart and sometimes you may not even know them yourself!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

Thankfulness

Time to reflect: thankfulness

November 21, 2018

Thankfulness

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

Tomorrow is also my 16th wedding anniversary!

The time leading up to Thanksgiving is when I usually reflect on the amazing things that God has done for us.  I often start with how every move in my life led to new experiences that helped build who I am – and the time I wrote in my journal “I’ll move with them one last time.”

That was to Saint Augustine when I was 18.

Just after that move (January 2002) I went to a family reunion where every adult teased me about not having a boyfriend (had never dated) and I remember replying with “in God’s time it will happen.” It was an awesome fun time where I met many relatives and learned many stories about my late grandparents.

January 2003, one year later, I was married, carrying our first child, and working in the town where my husband’s family had lived for generations.  The roots I’d wanted as a child I married into.  I instantly had two amazing grandmothers.  Grandma Jeannette taught me amazing things like crochet and canning food and cooking or preserving local Florida produce.  I loved learning by her side.  Grandma Honey had the most fascinating stories of Cracker life as a young girl and her journey as a mother, wife, and artist (she painted amazing landscapes).

If I had planned my life (as I did in notebooks since being ten years old) it would not have included a 4-month courtship.  I always planned on “knowing someone” for years – generally all the way through 6 or 8 years of university – before marrying.  God had other plans.

I didn’t plan on immediately getting pregnant – married in November and baby’s beautiful face is framed in our wedding cake topper on our first anniversary photo.   God had other plans.

We both planned on having a big family, but then our naïve thoughts of “big” were relative to the world around us – he thought 7 like his grandparents, I thought 7 like my parents.  We agreed early on that we’d let God decide our family size.  I don’t think either of us were truly thinking we’d ever be blessed with 7, maybe 3 or 5; maybe, and that would be “big.”  God had other plans.

Our little blessing growing within me now was totally not “according to plan” as I’d gotten sick and we’d decided it wasn’t a prudent time to start new life.  God laughed; this little one was already growing.  And the hormonal imbalance caused by my reaction to multiple medications which my research said would take 18 to 24 months to reset, was reset by the pregnancy within 5 months.  Although we thought we were planning well, God had other plans.

I love how my life didn’t go according to my “plans” – and I’ve kept diaries since I was ten, so I can look back at plans I made.  I didn’t stop making plans, I am a planner and organizer by nature, but I so love it when God’s plan intervenes and “surprise” life things happen.  I love God’s plans and how they are so different (sometimes) from my “plans” but so reflect my true heart.

From little things like my future sister and I working at the same place at the same time without knowing each other to amazing life events like marriage and births; in each, I see God’s powerful hand.  I’m so thankful for His direction and for the wisdom to allow Him to lead me.

I’m thankful for the ability to keep our family sustained.

We’ve always had jobs.

When one door closes, God always had something else waiting in the wings for us.  Sometimes far different from what we expected, but still awesome.

I was at an interview and someone commented on the variety of jobs I’ve had (Software Developer, Customer Service aka Ride Operator, Bank Teller, Business Office Manager of a Skilled Nursing Facility, Co-owner & Manager of a Transportation Company) – I had to add my recent update to that list as I’m currently a Gymnastics Coach.  His question was what could I bring to this job (food retail)?  Well, each position has taught me new skills and the list proves I can learn anything.

This official job experience doesn’t list that I’m a published author of over 50 books in children’s, educational, and young adult genres!

It’s amazing to me that God found me a job where I can combine my love of teaching, physical fitness, and a childhood dream!  (Gymnastics Coach)  I love the environment in which I work and the people with which I have the privilege of working.  Someone said it’s a step down to go from business owner to working for another small business.  Nope.  Not at all.  I bring a work ethic with me where I understand the challenge of being a small business owner and I always work my job as if it’s my company – even far before I was a business owner.  Ask me, it’s “my gym” – just because I get to work there!

I’m thankful for all the steps along this life journey.  I’m thankful for the people I’ve met along the way.  I remember faces and some names – people like Mrs. Joy up the big hill when I was 8 in Eutawville, South Carolina who baked cookies with my sister and me and gave me my first cookbook.  I remember Grandma Jeanette telling me after I’d been married a year or so, “honey, you were going to be my granddaughter, no way out of it” because she had prayed for me after meeting me at church (before I met her grandson).  I’m thankful for mentors, family, and friends.

I’m thankful for all I see before me; God has been so gracious and generous to me and my family.  We’ve been blessed so very much.

Every time I reflect on the blessings God has given me, I am overcome with gratefulness.  I can’t help but whisper a prayer of thanks.  Even though we won’t be “coming together” for “thanksgiving dinner” on the actual Thursday this year, we’ll get together on a different day with family and celebrate our thanks!

I pray blessings on you and your family as we reflect on all that we can be thankful for!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

The Rumble of Life

How I love the blessing of carrying life!

November 14, 2018

The Rumble of Life

Today I’m very thankful for life.

My little unborn angel is rolling around and kicking, punching, or whatever inside me with such force Lucas and Jillian keep giggling at my stomach bouncing!

What an honor it is to be able to carry a new life!

From the first flutter-kicks I felt of Christina’s 15 years ago, I have been awed by the honor of being pregnant.

So, maybe my body isn’t always so happy about it, but that’s fixed.  With Christina it was routine, wake up, eat, attempt a prenatal vitamin, upchuck said prenatal, get to work, run to the bathroom, there goes breakfast, and snack on some grapes or tuna salad very slowly throughout the day praying for no puking.

When I was pregnant with Becky I was under a midwife’s care and learned a ton about how nutrition affects pregnancy – then I managed to only upchuck every prenatal vitamin, mix, or powder I tried.  So I stopped trying new supplements and simply focused on very healthy foods.

Just as Kimberly started along, my sister introduced me to Shakeology (a meal replacement nutrition drink) and the nausea with every successive pregnancy was gone!  Great nutrition and my body tolerated it!  I was over that hurdle.

Today, as our baby entertains older siblings, I’m answering standard questions: “How big is my baby?” (Lucas says this baby is HIS baby) “What color will baby’s hair be?”  “When will my baby come out?” “How can baby be so strong already?” (This as Jillian’s hand was kicked off my belly.)

Their curiosity about new life reminds me of how fascinated I am by the whole process.  I have general answers to give: “about this big,” (thanks to our scientific knowledge) “only God knows,” “when Baby is ready,” and “because Baby is strong like his big sisters and brother.”  (I don’t like to say “it” when referring to the Baby, so if I have to use a pronoun, it’s going to be a masculine one – most of the time I can manage to just use “Baby” instead.  The kids pick the one they want to use.)

My favorite question comes from Jaquline today (and I know she’s a veteran of two water births and about ready for a deeper explanation, but for now she’s still just eight): “How did Baby get inside you?”

“God took a bit of Daddy and put it in Mommy and mixed it together and He started Baby growing.” (Very simple, but literally truth.  God set up everything and if He doesn’t choose to give the spark of life, the other stuff doesn’t matter.  That has been my standard answer to that question for 14 years.)

This makes Jillian giggle while Lucas lays his head, ear down, on my tummy and says, “I love you, Baby!  Thank you God for my baby!”

I wish I could pause that moment for a while.

Seconds later, they have raced back about daily things: Jillian is outside helping with morning chores, Lucas is vrooming a vehicle (I think it’s a wooden car) up the side of the couch, Jaquline is doing her schoolwork at the big table where Kimberly and Christina already have work laid out (although they popped up to take a break and feed livestock and pets) and Becky is lumbering about as she slowly wakes up.  Life.

Today is full of impending activity: midwife appointment, college classes for Becky, college field trip for Becky (Louis will drive everyone to the park and make a fun day out of it; perks of big sister in a marine biology class), work (coaching) for me, work for Louis, normal stuff.

I’m swiping a few minutes just sitting here relishing this rumble in my tummy and thanking God for allowed me to hold His little child.  Baby seems to realize the audience is gone and slowly curls up to rest.  Baby is always most active with Lucas comes and explains something (why cars roll, what the sky looks like, how the big rooster is scary to snakes, how an orange tastes, how excited he is for “Baby to finally come out so I can see you”).

I love you, Baby Tart!  Thank you, God, for my baby! (All of them!)

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Memory Hop to 2015

March 23, 2018

Memory Hop to 2015

I love the memory thing on facebook that will show posts you’ve made years ago.

This one was from March 21, 2015:

What totally amazes me about babies and pregnancy is that no two are ever exactly alike. This pregnancy has been so “chill” because Baby sits posterior and only really moves when one big sister starts taking “Baby’s space” by snuggling on my lap – then we laugh at the strong kicks, elbows, or whatever that bounce Jillian or Jaquline like a trampoline! But on the first day of spring, this little one decided to surprise Mommy with Braxton-Hicks contractions – you know, the fake ones that are like your body toning up for the big event. So I went checking in my journals and can’t find any of the others who started Braxton-Hicks contractions this early. Just a few “rock tummies” (that’s what Jaquline and Rebeccah call the contractions because my tummy gets hard) but enough to make me decide to increase my calcium, iron, and magnesium intake! (yummy, no wonder I’ve been wanting broccoli and dark greens!)

I feel so blessed and so small when I consider all the amazing things God does within us to craft a beautiful little person! One thing I have discovered to be true: a baby’s personality is already there even as he/she is in the womb. I can “feel” a glimpse of what my child is like before they are even born. It makes me feel so humbled to be entrusted with this little one’s nurturing and protection while he/she is so small and dependant. Oh, well, just some random thoughts.

Return to present thoughts:

That was when I was pregnant with Lucas James. I’m sure now that some of the kicks and elbows were actually headbutts. He was my little “freezer” because with him I was always cold. Even in the Florida summer, my insides would feel cold!

It’s three years from that memory… my little baby is almost three years old! I’m so blessed to be my children’s mother! I love memories about them (why I keep journals). Life is precious and time runs by quickly.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

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