Tag: father

Father’s Day 2023

“It all starts with a bachelor…” starts the old cartoon that highlights Fatherhood in a Goofy sense but before the entertainment industry really made fun of Fathers…

Father’s Day 2023

A time-warp Story from June 18, 2023

Father’s Day.  Because of childhood memories, I’m always hearing the Disney Cartoon narrator from “Goofy Celebration of Fatherhood” when I read those words.  “It all starts with a bachelor…” starts the old cartoon that highlights Fatherhood in a Goofy sense but before the entertainment industry really made fun of Fathers.  

Our culture has tried to reduce fathers to a joke.  Sadly, that is the farthest thing from the truth yet popular movies, songs, and tv shows portray fathers as not worth respect.  The butt of jokes.  Maybe a breadwinner.  Unimportant.  

In truth, it’s movies like “Courageous” that get it right.  Fathers are vital.  The Bible tells us the father is the head of the home.  The primary moral compass of the family.  It’s summer camp at my gym.  I love to watch the excitement the kids get when they get picked up; “Daddy!  Watch what I can do!” or “Mommy! Look what I made!”  I hear a lot about mommies and daddies.  

We heard about spiritual fathers at church today too; those like Paul who calls Timothy his “son in the faith” and “beloved son” though he wasn’t his biological son.  My father lost his father as a young man just entering adulthood.  I never met my grandfather Theodore Pearson, but I know he was a strong, giving, loving man because of the legacy he left in his children whom I met.  Our daughter “Theadora” was named in honor of him.  My father also had a spiritual father; Mr. Bob Suber.  I loved him.  I first met him when I was about 7 or 8 years old.  His wife Betty taught me how to embroider and sew clothes.  I watched him talk with my Daddy as we spent many evenings at their house for supper and the adults would go into discussions.  I sat cross-legged in front of him with starry eyes listening to stories of his childhood in the nineteen-twenties and thirties where he and his buddies used to swipe fruit from orchards and try not to get caught or pick raw corn and dig potatoes from the edges of farmland and would roast them for lunch on fires they’d make and share food with traveling hobos.  He said his mama always cooked a big broth pot from whatever squirrel, rabbit, or game he or his younger brother got that day and would toss in root vegetables and greens and herbs.  He said her pots could be smelled for miles.  After her family ate, she fed a bowl of broth to any hobo that stopped and asked.   Mr. Bob died when I was about fourteen and I saw my Daddy cry.  He said that Bob Suber’s graceful acceptance of death reminded him of other men of faith that Mr. Bob had pointed out – and he wanted to be sure he had that peace and grace when his time came.  In December 2018, he showed that grace and peace at his own time when God called him home.

Fathers are so important.  

I am very grateful for my Father.  For the blessing I had of being his daughter.  

I’m also so thankful for the Father God chose for my children.  Louis is always striving to be the most godly father he can be.  

I pray for the men God will lead to my girls to be fathers of their children.  I pray that we raise up Lucas to be a godly man and father.  

Life is far simpler than we make it out to be.  Love is our center.  Family is our core.  God made it that way from the beginning.  I pray that we shoo away the distractions and focus on the truth; choosing to follow Jesus in all things and put our families first.  Fathers bold enough to be fathers have that power inside them; God put it there from the beginning.  Each man simply has to choose.  

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Encouragers: The Lady Who Smiles

The Lady Who Smile. Never underestimate the power of your small gesture!

Encouragers: The Lady Who Smiles

October 3, 2022

Some days you just need to be encouraged.  Most often, you don’t realize how important this encouragement is to your mood until someone does encourage you.  As Christians we are admonished to be encouragers.  As iron sharpens iron, we are to help each other: build each other up, edify, support, and speak truth in love. 

There’s a sweet lady who serves as a greeter at our church.  Her smile is absolutely beautiful.  The power of truth in her joy radiates from this smile to warm your heart as soon as you notice her standing at the doorway.  She always says good morning and is far better with names that I am as she often greets people by their first names.  (I try to be good with names, it’s something I’m training myself to do, but I often mix up my own kids or call moms by their daughter’s names and quickly attempt correction by saying, so-and-so’s mom – who am I kidding?)

I was feeling rather low this particular Sunday morning.  A lot has been pressing down on my heart lately – mostly financial, but then, that is a constant mental fight for me.  It goes something like this: Look how poor you are; you can’t even go to xyz (one of the girls’ gymnastics meets, a sister-cousin’s party, a group trip to some amusement park, etc.).  You didn’t send them to Passion Camp this year.  You don’t even own a house.  Such a failure, your dream was stability for your children so they would have a home.  You left a good-paying job… twice.  You chose less and your children pay for it by having to work for the things other kids just get. You have to eat what the food bank gives you.  You pick up underwear from a giveaway group! How selfish can you be to work where you enjoy rather than in a career that would provide better for your children? 

I fight that with: I am so thankful for fellow gym moms allowing my girls to carpool and enjoy their friend-time. They enjoyed sister-time this summer.  God has provided a house for us where my dream of family being close is a reality!  I am chosen by God.  I chose family and integrity, respectively.  My children value the things they have to work for and as they understand the concept of having to work for a gift they give, they appreciate every gift they get more!  God supplies our needs each week.  I’m so thankful for my hand-me-down giving and receiving friends and the Buy-Nothing group!  I have my dream job and am so super thankful for it; A Christian boss who allows me to bring my children when needed, we work schoolwork at the front desk, we’ve relied on work internet for accessing schoolwork courses and even the renting of our home more than a few times, my girls all have had an awesome first job experience, I work for family!

At those times when my mind is a mental battlefield and I force myself to dig deep into thankfulness (I think or speak my “I’m thankful fors”), a little encouragement goes a long way.  Just the fact that the smiling lady at the church doorway remembers my name correctly and can connect me with my girls (who beat us there, again, even though we left first!) gives me such encouragement!  When she says something like “you are such a good mother!” and I can feel the truth in her compliment, it is all I can do to respond with “thank you” and not cry.  I’m so grateful to God for the currently uncountable times the sweet lady has lifted my mood and encouraged me – I end up thanking God for her and that He knows my mental battles.  He knows that small gesture means the world to me. 

I walk in, I worship, I walk out, and usually I feel invisible.  That’s okay to me on the surface because it is so challenging for me to approach someone because I’m so scared of messing up with social interaction with other adults.  It’s the walk to the church gym that makes my head rise – I’m so totally ready to serve children.  Put me in front of children and I’m super confident!  (mom, coach, kid’s ministry assistant, leader, etc.)

I know how much a small bit of encouragement helps me so when God touches my heart to say something to another adult, I have been listening lately.  A compliment, a congratulations, a mention of how well-behaved their child was, encouragement that they are doing a good job as so-and-so has accomplished xyz goal… That is so super hard for me as a human!  I can only encourage other adults because Jesus gives me strength! 

(If you ever reflect on my interactions with you and you have a child I know, notice I often talk to the child first?  Yes, I’m so much more comfortable starting with the little ones!)

My challenge to myself is always to listen to God’s nudge of a quiet voice and offer encouragement to whomever He leads into my path.  I make it my challenge to you.  Encourage.  Even a smile and “Good Morning!” goes a long way sometimes!  I’m speaking from my own personal experience.  What you are really saying to that person is “I see you.”

Thank you to those who serve as greeters at our Good News Church!  Thank you for those who know my name!  Thank you for making me feel seen.  Thank you for encouraging me and helping me pass that on and encourage others.  If you are an encourager; KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!

Thank you for reading,

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

“Plans” Turn Into Stages

#LearningToMother #GoodNewsChurch #MakeResilientDisciples #ChooseGratitude #Ephesians6 #Thankful #Gratitude #HomeschoolFamily #EnjoyEachStage #WorkInProgress #Journey #LifeIsAJourney #WGVGymnastics #Dreams #Plans

“Plans” Turn Into Stages

September 24, 2022

Once upon a time, a girl sat curled up in her father’s big gray armchair in his study in her favorite house.  She was reading her favorite of the six or seven of Dr. James Dobson’s parenting books her father had on the shelf underneath all the amazing Lawhead and Brooks books with enticing names like “In the Hall of the Dragon King” and “Taliesin.” 

“Children at Risk” was her favorite because it focused on the parent improving their lives through Jesus’ help in order to pass their faith on to their children.  It was her favorite because for three years, she had been rereading it to help her understand how to pray for and lead her siblings.  One song when she was ten and her father’s comment of, “God made you their big sister just like I’m your father,” led her on this journey. 

Her dream was to be an author whose stories made people reach for Jesus.  Her purpose has been to pour into children. 

From as early as she could volunteer, she chose to be a volunteer Sunday School or VBS teacher.  She loved teaching and started with tutoring her siblings, friends, and eventually other children.  She tried to end up being a school teacher; life led her a different way.  Every twist led to the next turn.  It was the journey…

It’s true; no one ever returns from a journey. They continue into a new part of the journey. Trips you return from. Life isn’t a trip; it is a journey of mind, heart, soul, and spirit.

This stage of her journey is year twenty of being a wife, year nineteen or being a mother, year fourteen of being a homeschooling family, year four as a gymnastics coach – currently preschool, and year two of kids’ ministry small group leader. 

In each stage and with each passing year, she chooses to be thankful. 

Of course, “she” is me. 

I’ve learned to enjoy each stage as it happens.  This isn’t just with my children as they grow but with my “stages” as well.  I am allowing Jesus to continually work on me; I’m a constant work in progress.  My Daddy used to say if he ever stopped learning, his brain would go stagnant and he’d laugh.  I love that thought.  We are forever a work in progress!

Thank you for reading,

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Hold Longer

August 17, 2021

Hold Longer

A song came on the radio today. It was the first time I heard it. Casting Crowns’ song called “Scars In Heaven” played while I was on the way to after school pickup.

The first line says “…if I had known it was the last time…”

I almost cried. I prayed, “thank you, Jesus,” because the last time I saw my Daddy on Earth I did “know.” It was a nudge, a distant feeling I almost tried to brush aside in disgust.

Of course this isn’t the last time I’ll talk with Daddy, I told myself.

But I listened to the nudge. I’m forever thankful for that nudge.

I waited until I would be almost late to pick Christina up from the library (it was going to close). I hugged him tighter than normal. I did just what the singer of the song is lamenting he didn’t do. I have always tried to listen to that tiny nudge of a voice that usually is right in the back of my head. My mind usually tries to argue with it. Like then. I tried to brush that feeling away because even though my Daddy’s health wasn’t great, I didn’t want to believe I would ever walk in and not find him sitting there, ready for long talks, vibrant discussions, and heartfelt conversations.

I heard the singer’s heart hurt as he sang of how if he’d known, he would have held on longer, hugged tighter, talked longer… But we never really know.

God tells us no man knows the hour or day of his own passing.

My father and baby sister are in heaven. My baby never met her Boompa. I didn’t really cry or grieve for them. They were both prepared for death. Both loved Jesus and are now in His presence. I can’t logically cry for them. (I’m way too logical over deep things but I find it’s the silly little stuff that makes me cry.) I wasn’t ready for either of them to go. Just like we are often not ready to die, we are also never ready for a loved one to die.

My Daddy gave me a special gift long ago… He had grown up without his mother (she died when he was 12) and when we were living in Sylvania and had a friend with cancer, he once said, “enjoy every day, you never know when Erica will go home.”

So true. I couldn’t even cry for her. She loved Jesus and let everyone know how excited she was about getting to see Him.

That life lesson has stayed with me. I never don’t say bye or I love you. I leave them with a smile. I don’t ever want someone’s last thought of me or my last thought of them to be bitter. I live as if each time I leave someone it may be the last time I see them. Not that I’m reckless or clingy, but I’m open, honest, and speak the truth about my love for them.

I never want someone to regret their last meeting with me.

I always listen to that nudge. I’m so grateful for God’s warning I got that afternoon… For the happy call from Charley in Mom’s kitchen six months later with Mom & Mary when I brought Christina to loan her some deposit money… For the happy memories of talking a bit longer, hugging a bit tighter, saying “I love you” before I left.

Always hold a bit tighter, hug a little stronger, chat a bit longer; always say “I love you.”

I hope you listen to that song. I pray you always remember to love while you have the time.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Evaluations

January 29, 2021

Evaluations

This week and next week are skills testing weeks at gym. Evaluations of skills each gymnast has and their ability to move up or stay in their current level to solidify their knowledge.

Most of the time, the coaches catch when their student gymnast gets enough skills and strength or knowledge to move up, but sometimes it takes a “skills test” for a gymnast to show off or put a little more power into her actions!

This made me think about life.

Life is full of levels.

Sometimes we just move through them seamlessly. You know, like gliding from toddlerhood to preschool, or moving from 9th to 10th grade. High school to college is a little more of a push – this is like an evaluation. Are you ready? Well, time is here – which choice do you make?

In our personal growth, we tend to move slowly. It’s when a climatic event causes us to evaluate ourselves that we discover strengths we didn’t know we had or weaknesses we thought we didn’t have. Your eldest child going to college and you are tossed into the whirlwind of various choices, plans, financial issues, helping your young adult navigate stress (praying you can do that well, because she is expressing what you are internalizing!), and believing that a way will be made.

This time you have to view as a positive change. You have to realize that this temporary negative appearance will prove to be the lifetime starting point for your young adult. Your attitude through this is your “evaluation,” your young adult will be taking notes on and remembering. (Everyone else in your household is also watching!)

Sometimes a life “evaluation” is others watching how you navigate troubled waters. Like the death of your father, your sister, your close friend, your child. Losing someone you treasure. That despair can allow you to create a pit to lose yourself in. Or you can look up and pull on the strength that only comes from Jesus. This evaluation is never something we want to face.

Evaluation week went along with my study: Examine yourself to see what is good and right; remove that which leads toward darkness.

(My paraphrase again, I summarized the page-long study to that line. Most of the verses linked all boiled down to that same line as my brain interpreted them.) I imagine darkness to be the depth of one’s soul without Jesus. Since Jesus is Light and darkness is the absence of light, that makes the most sense to me.

See, when trouble hits, I can either turn inside myself and go into darkness or look outside and reach up to Jesus. In Him there is strength to endure everything.

Life has taught me that.

My “evaluations” have proven it.

I pray I always choose to reach up. I want those watching me during “skills testing” to be led to Jesus. That is my goal.

Crazy writer’s brain that sees the little flyer on our desk that reads “skills testing weeks” and launches into deep thoughts… hopefully these wandering thoughts help lift you up!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Movie Review: Onward

April 12, 2020

Movie Review: Onward

As a family, we got to watch a new movie called “Onward” (Disney/Pixar) recently.  Curled up on our couch, eating tangerines instead of popcorn, we also got to discuss this movie during the end credits.

I was pleasantly surprised at this movie. 

(Spoiler Alert! If you haven’t seen the movie and want to watch it without knowing the end, don’t read any further!)

In this technologically advanced world that mirrors our own, mythical creatures have lost their magic and settled for the easier way of doing almost everything.  Fairies don’t fly. Centaurs don’t run fast. Elves don’t go on quests.  Wizards don’t exist. 

The only relics of magic are mirrored in a game that young adults play like our Dungeons and Dragons.

The protagonist is a 16-year-old elf named Ian whose older brother, Bailey, is lost to this “gaming” world and set a little in the past with his audio cassette tapes and 70s roadie van he built himself like a hot-rod.  Ian never knew his father.  His mother’s centaur policeman boyfriend is a far cry from the father figure he is looking for. 

After a bummer of a birthday, Ian and Bailey are given a special present from their late father – a staff and crystal and a spell that supposedly will let him come back for 24 hours to see who his boys grew up to be.

So the spell doesn’t work.  Mom leaves.  Bailey enters as Ian is actually making the spell work – and enters half-dad.  Yes, Ian brought back a walking pair of pants with purple socks and leather shoes.  Bailey knows it’s his dad because of a tap-tap on shoes game they used to play. 

The boys go on a quest (based on Bailey’s game knowledge) to find another crystal and bring their father all the way back.

They end up finding the crystal but releasing a curse (huge dragon made of weird stones pulled from their school and a construction site) as the sun is going down (when dad will disappear). 

Ian has realized that his real father figure is Bailey and that Bailey is the one who must speak with dad because he blames himself for being scared of the hospital and missed his chance to say goodbye to his dad in real life.  Ian starts the spell to bring dad back and leaves him with Bailey so he can fight the dragon.  Mom and a manticore bring in a magic sword to kill the dragon (she was on her own side quest).  Through teamwork, the curse is destroyed, Ian uses magic to repair all of the dragon damage, Bailey gets to say goodbye to his dad, and magic reenters the lives of some of the people; the biker fairies are now flying, policeman centaur boyfriend is now running, and Ian now is a wizard.

The theme is love: Mom’s love for her sons and the brother’s love for each other.  The lesson of enjoying what you have instead of wishing for what you don’t is also there.  Ian wishes for the father he’s never known and wants to be like him while ignoring or disregarding his elder brother until he realizes that all the love he was searching for in a father figure has been coming from his brother all of his life. 

We discussed how it is very easy to focus on what we want but don’t have yet miss what God has given us.  In every situation, our character shines with how we choose to handle said situation.  I choose to focus on what is with me now.  Right now, I’m thankful to still have a job when so many I know are suddenly unemployed.  I’m thankful to be able to play more board and outside games with Christina and Becky – all the girls, but they had started to get heavily involved in extracurricular activities and with Christina driving, I had seen less and less of her.  Forced online college courses and the closing of CAP and the gym mean I get to hang out with her more.  I’m enjoying what I have.

Live your life enjoying what you are given and love your family with a sacrificial love: that’s our take from “Onward,” a very entertaining, slightly funny, kid safe movie with real truths embedded in it.

Thank you for reading.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Building Monuments

Building Monuments

February 29, 2020

So on my way to work today there was a radio broadcast. I actually listen to this every morning until I get to work on 91.9 FM. It’s the Excel Church radio broadcast. Usually the topics have been related to generational building in legacy, finances, nature, etc. Today was on monuments.

He said we often allow ourselves to build monuments to sin and we see that one thing, or series of things, as bigger than anything else in our lives and immovable. Totally get that one.

When someone makes one bad choice, they are told by others or their own mind that they are defined by that one choice and as such, are not “worthy” of anything better.

He was discussing how the church generally does that to people in the church and we as individuals do it to ourselves. His challenge was, as individuals, to search our hearts, pray, and find the sin monuments in our lives and remove them.

I thought about this.

When I was first personally deciding to follow Jesus, probably about 8, I constantly heard the prayer where it says “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others” and for almost two years, I wouldn’t forgive one person (a little bully who had hurt and embarrassed me when I was 5). I would argue that I wasn’t around him so my constantly remembering it and talking about it wasn’t bad. Then, about 10, I realized that I was keeping myself bitter because of that unforgiveness. I let it go.

I know, silly story, right? But to me at 10, that was huge. To me looking back now, I saw how that lesson helped me to not hold grudges and find peace.

Learning to find and demolish those monuments has been key in my life too. I just never realized it was so important. I thought it was part of understanding my relationship with God better; slowly growing in my ability to forgive others and myself. To let things go. If God forgets our sin, who am I to keep reminding myself or others of it?

In relationships, it could be one sin – he said usually it is a sin of the mouth. We say something without filtering it and regret it instantly. There is no “delete” or “backspace” for words spoken. Unfortunately, sometimes people build monuments to that lapse and next week, next month, or 10 years later in an altercation they remind the offender, “remember when you said …” – they have built a monument to that one sin.

It needs a demo team.

Blow that monument up and scatter the ashes.

You feel like that sin monument can’t be torn down as it’s too strong or been there too long – actually, it’s made of air like a mountain of trash bags full of foam. Stick a vacuum in the end of the bag and you have almost nothing. God can tear down your sin monuments.

You can’t build relationships with monuments to sin forcing themselves between you. You can’t build your own heart toward God without breaking down the monuments you’ve erected that blot out your accurate view of God.

As followers of Jesus, we should understand that as Paul tell us under grace we are new creatures. The old man is passed away. This means we can start over with a new slate – God says His mercies are new each morning. (I think that’s because like coffee, we need a full dose of mercy each day to get us though the day!) We have to choose to leave the judging to God. We have to choose to forgive. That is sometimes the hardest thing to do.

He talked about how he didn’t have an affectionate father. How he discovered this was a monument he built that affected his dealings and relationships with every other man he came in contact with, including his own son. So he had to demolish that monument, let the loss die, and learn to forgive like Jesus. He had to love his father (his dad was great, just not affectionate) like Jesus wanted him to, in truth. He said letting go is sometimes very hard because we try to rationalize with our mind and emotions why the monument is there and what it’s for. Just let go.

Why on Earth did it take 8-year-old me 2 years after realizing that what I was doing was wrong to forgive some bully from when I was 5? I carried that bitterness against him for 5 years! Half of my life at that time I held what probably amounted to hatred for that one boy – why? It didn’t do anything to him. My rational self told my mind that he likely forgot about the incident five minutes after it happened. Yet I carried this stupid bitterness in my heart for 5 years over nothing? I couldn’t explain to my 10-year-old self why.

I know now it was because we are all born in sin, forgiveness is something we have to learn. The only one who can teach true forgiveness is Jesus. Let yourself go. Let others go. Find the monuments you’ve built to sin in your life and destroy them – you might have to get help and that’s okay. Jesus says all things are possible through Him. You can find peace.

Move forward.

You can’t go backward in time. You can’t erase what you did or said – delete, undo, and backspace don’t work in real life.

You have to find the sin monuments you have built against yourself or someone else and eradicate them.

Let your bitterness go. Love fully. Choose forgiveness!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Sixteen Sweet Years

October 3, 2019

Sixteen Sweet Years

The one who first called me mother is sixteen years old.  Thank you, Jesus.  I am so grateful for being blessed with Christina!  I can’t imagine life without her. 

I truly understand that God entrusts us with raising his children.  There is such a wonderful humbling feeling in being able to watch my little baby grow into a young woman of God. 

For nine months I felt this tiny life growing inside of me.  We prayed over her (not knowing who she would be yet) and loved her from the time we imagined she would come.  She was born the eldest grandchild to both sets of grandparents – imagine such a crazy double blessing! 

Fast forward to today: she’s driving and we’re on the way to her job and Kimberly’s classes with Thea and I riding along (so I can take the car back home and Thea was just up with us so got to serenade us – she sings to music now).

I thank God daily for each of my children.  I know we aren’t promised tomorrow.  I treasure every day.  Every time I get to hear Thea sing notes (no words yet, just “aaaahh-ooooh-aaah”) to music, every time Lucas builds a train track that snakes all over the front room, every time Jillian is jumping like a pogo stick because she learned a new skill or mastered a math concept, every time Jaquline makes something new, every time I get to see Kimberly march (in Civil Air Patrol) or practice some new flip (gymnastics), every time I see Becky snuggle with Lucas, Thea, and Jillian on my bed reading “Angel and the Ring” (Lucas’ favorite), every time Christina ranks up or encourages someone else… every time I get to spend life with my children. 

They don’t have to come to me when they need to talk about something or ask personal of difficult questions – I thank God that they do.  They could bury themselves in isolation from “the parents” but I’m super thankful that they choose to be around us when we are home.  In this precious time while they are close, I want to talk, snuggle, read, play games, cook together, watch them build, invent and grow, and see them climb closer to Jesus.  I am so thankful for the time we’ve been given together.

I became a mom on December 24, 2002.  My little life began inside me and I excitedly whispered it to my mother on Christmas Day because I knew she wouldn’t think it odd that I “felt” my angel start inside me. My first pregnancy journey ended with my beautiful young woman who is driving beside me now.  There is something humbling and awe-inspiring when you hold that first tiny human and realize that God has gifted you with one of His children to raise up.  Once through that, I felt the same huge responsibility and humbling gratitude each time I felt the little life start. 

Life is a vapor; you look at your tiny child in your arms and when you open your eyes again, she’s been flying a plane and driving a vehicle, doing college classes and working a job.  Though she is nearing the time she can choose to leave your home you carefully built for her, you continue to enjoy each day, each opportunity to be around her.  You pray thankful for the time you’ve had and for her safety and future. 

Those years speed by.  The love you carry never leaves.  No matter if your youngling is plucked early to fill heaven with joy, your love remains as strong as the day you discovered them growing inside you – a mother’s love never stops.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Fatherhood

June 17, 2019

Fatherhood

So, you know this huge thing called “Fatherhood?”

What comes to mind?  A parenting book I read when I was twelve (yes, oldest sibling perks!) said something like “the child’s view of God as a Father is directly impacted by their experience with their Earthly Father.”

Yes. So true.

I went into parenthood knowing this. (Songs like “He Wants to be Like Me” reaffirmed this giant responsibility.)

A Father is often the humor of the family too – in the photo, Louis had climbed to the top of the stump and challenged “Come Get Me!” … notice all the kids following!

Despite the failures that I’ve made as a Mom and that I felt repercussions of from my parents (they were AWESOME parents, but they weren’t perfect) – I understand the crux of all parenting: we are human.  We (Parents) are not Jesus and are not perfect.

Bingo.

That awesome thing called grace collaborates with the huge responsibility of parenting to create a vulnerable, praying, God-dependant parent capable of teaching the amazing love and grace of Jesus through their own transparency.

Let’s face it: most of the American culture makes fun of fathers.  (Ever seen the Goofy Salute to Fatherhood?) Even as early as the 1950s when there was still a bit of a patriarchal society present, cartoons and movies started to depict fathers as lazy, goofy, clueless bunglers who often caused more problems than they solved.

Although I laughed along with my Daddy at a lot of these early shots at the masculine father, I understood the bulk of media still left you understanding that the love and bond of a father to child was the glue of a family.  The unsung hero always was the silent sure strength of the God-following Father.

As time inched forward, the media continued to turn the American Father into a non-essential entity.

The opposite is true!

I consider myself a strong, independent woman when it comes to my life.  I am a Christian woman, but one of my strongest battles with myself is submission – first to my father, then to Jesus, and later to my husband.  I know this though…  I CANNOT be the mother I am without the encouragement and support from my husband.

If I had to do motherhood without my husband being my ultimate cheerleader and sounding board, I would have realized how unfit I am about three months into the first child.  I have the ultimate respect for people whose life circumstances have forced them to navigate parenthood alone.  I try to be an encourager to them and help those single parents in any way I can because I cannot imagine myself having that strength.

I am excited to be around my husband!  I was on a softball team (church, yes, I’m an athletic maniac but wasn’t on an actual team until I was in my late 20s and it was just for one season with my church family).  Louis was working sometimes 100+ hours a week for our family at the time.  The company I had just closed.  He’d never made it to any of our games (I took all the kids with me; they loved it and hung out with their friends & some of the church ladies who came to encourage us bounced my baby around).  One day he showed up and I was so excited!  (I was told I squealed like a little girl; don’t remember exactly.)  I love walking with him.  I am excited when we do something as a family – or when he’s going somewhere and says, “hey want to go with me?”  Because I know he likes his alone time.  I get way too much alone time at my office – I relish gym coaching because of the other encouraging women I work for and with and the chattering children I love.  I will chatter way too much sometimes.

Our church sermon was on how Fathers aren’t perfect (only Jesus is) and how their honesty and relationship is their connection with their children.  It’s the way to disciple.  We aren’t perfect, our children aren’t perfect – bingo!  Common ground.

I know how important real, honest, God-fearing Fathers are to the fabric of our family.  I know how hard it is to buck the media’s garbage portrayal of our roles and follow God’s plan instead.  I am so thankful that I have a husband who is pursuing God’s heart.  His passion for Jesus makes him a better husband, a better father, and a better friend.  He helps encourage me to pursue God’s heart.  (Told you I’m competitive.)  He isn’t perfect, but he is constantly improving.  A challenge arises and he rises above it.  He’s always leading in love and with a determined drive that is totally contagious.  His passion for Jesus, life, and family (okay, and sports) is encouraging.

And he doesn’t think he’s “so much” – he compliments and lifts me up consistently.  He makes me feel like I’m doing well despite whatever challenge I feel I’m failing.

At church, we pulled in on Father’s Day (neither of our fathers went to church as adults) and he comments, “wow, church is crowded on Father’s Day.”  Yes, at our church, the culture of encouraging each person to follow God individually, corporately, and in their family is persistent.  (I was afraid we lost that when our previous church folded.)  I am so encouraged that Louis has found a church with a culture of lifting up men as fathers; the vital leaders in their homes, encouraging and holding each other accountable.

Thank you, Jesus, for fathers who choose to take the hard road and follow you; they are raising up the next generation of world-changers.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next later…

~Nancy Tart

Me Without You

June 15, 2019

Me Without You

Yesterday I entered a bit of nostalgia.  My facebook timeline mentioned a memory of Father’s Day a few years ago.

Father’s Day.

This is the first Father’s Day when my Daddy is in heaven.

The first thoughts were sad.  Theadora, who was laying on her tummy in the office talking to Faux, one of the office dogs, has never seen her Granddaddy.  I haven’t written anything in any of my books since he’s passed – more likely because I’ve been working two jobs but it feels like there’s no one to discuss book ideas with.  I wonder if I’ve made the right decisions; Daddy would listen and he’s been in this position before.  On the ride home the radio show host asked “what does your Father want for Father’s Day?” and I remembered all Daddy ever wanted all the time was just to spend time with us.

Then I realized, as I do every time I’m sad about Daddy being gone, that I’m being selfish.  Daddy had spent more than two-thirds of his life without his Father.  None of us ever met our Grandfather Pearson – whom Thea was named after.  This is the first Father’s Day that my Daddy gets to hang out with his father – and with Jesus!  How cool is that?

Daddy isn’t in pain anymore.  He’s running, tending trees, worshiping Jesus, dancing with his Mom, you know… silly things we Earth-bound think about as being fun.  I wonder how many questions he’s asked God – he had a long long list of them we used to discuss.

I realized reading my last few posts leading up to his death that I’d been writing about eternity, “Finals Week” was published one week before he passed.  Odd, in retrospect, it’s like God was letting us know in Daddy’s way – with a bit of humor, as this cartoon was his idea! – that He was about to take Daddy home.

Home (Heaven) is where we belong.  On Earth, we love and learn.  We miss those gone, but we look forward to meeting our heavenly Father (God) one day!

Our love is forever.  I will love my Daddy forever.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

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