Tag: woman

And We All Made It!

December 31, 2023

And We All Made It!

Butterflies swam in my heart, stomach, mind… anywhere… everywhere all at once.  

I’m sitting in one of the folding seats in the Ocean Center with a baby nursing… I’ve been here, done that before, but never have I been in this venue for the event that is unfolding before me.  

A cycle of pictures of young men and women in more childish images showed on the screen that usually displayed my gymnasts’ scores.  

My gymnasts are sitting in the row behind me because our group of twelve takes almost two whole rows.  They are not in warm-ups cheering teammates, but keeping siblings entertained as they all wait for Christina. 

Marching Music!  

There they come!  Hundreds of young people in black gowns and caps.  Christina has a decorated cap with a quote from The Hobbit.  Her cap is bright green – and that makes her easy to pick out of the sea of black gowns and caps.  

Christina is graduating with her 4-year-degree from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University!  Her graduation from high school with her AA degree from St Johns River State was the first college graduation ceremony I’d attended.  I look around me at six of my other seven children and my niece.  I smile; it definitely won’t be the last!

Everyone is waving and trying to get Christina to see them.  Christina’s fiancé was also watching along with some of his family a little higher up in the arena!  Kimberly is impressed with this use of the floor that she’s been competing on for three seasons and will be coming to again in 2024.  

The keynote speaker starts: Rebeccah’s plane hasn’t yet landed.  Louis is monitoring that.  The keynote speaker’s last encouragement?  “Adapt and overcome” – my Daddy said that all the time.  It almost made me feel like he was watching.  

A text.  Rebeccah’s plane landed.  She’s getting a taxi from the airport.  It’s a couple of miles.  She’d managed to get out of her college classes and work early so she could catch the earliest flight from Pensacola to Daytona.  I had prayed she would get to the venue to see Christina walk.  

I walked out to change Laud the same time as Louis said Rebeccah was here but not sure how to get in.  I walked to meet her; she is very enterprising and self-reliant so had discovered the entry herself.

We took our seats.  

Christina’s group of graduates stood.  My crew waved and Christina looked up to see Rebeccah here.  

We were all present.  

Louis, me, Rebeccah, Kimberly, Jaquline, Jillian, Lucas, Theadora, Laud.  Grandma Tina.  Aunt Becca and Anastasia.  Louis had his mom on video phone or something like that.  She said she was watching it live-streamed.  All of Louis’ and my little Tart clan was here to cheer on our Christina as she graduated.  

Our determined, ambitious, perfectionist whose smile lights up rooms.  October had been her 20th birthday.  My mind flew backward to that box of confetti in plane shapes.  She’d been accepted to the only university she wanted to attend: and Louis and I wondered how we would pay for it.  Scholarships, grants, loans, and flight training on a few credit cards – she’d worked as much as possible to make it happen.  We’d helped some.  Christina had made it happen.  

Christina walked up to get her diploma.  With honors.  (My perfectionist was bummed she didn’t make “with highest honors”) She did her little dance move she did at her “high school” graduation.  She looked up and beamed at us.  I am so proud of her!  (And Thea yells “you got this!” – even though it wasn’t a gymnastics meet)  

All of us were there.  Sure, our baby won’t remember it.  He actually slept through the keynote speaker and woke just before Christina walked.  Thea and Lucas will remember playing and being bored, respectively.  From Anastasia up to Rebeccah though; they know it’s a big deal.  They know, with varying degrees of understanding, how much work Christina put into getting to this goal.  They watched, with varying degrees of understanding, as she studied, worked, stressed, complained, forced herself to take fun breaks once in a blue moon, prayed, and pushed on.  

With Little Cousin
Mom, Graduate, Grandma
With Littlest Sister
Our Graduate!
Sister-Cousins

We all celebrated with Christina. 

I am so thankful for miraculous appearing of funding at needed times.  I am so thankful for my determined young woman who made her goal happen.  I will cherish this memory.  

Soar high Christina!  Remember what your determination and ambition made happen!  God opens doors but you have to choose to walk through them!  Your graduation didn’t happen “just because” – there were lots of late nights, missed sleep, forcing yourself to go to work when you wanted to sleep in, exams you stressed far too much over, budget cuts to pay for the next simulator, and other challenges you rose to and overcame.  

Keep on flying high – you are “forever an eagle” now!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Growing Young Women

December 28, 2023

Growing Young Women

It struck me with a text I sent: I have the littles at gym with me

I had Jillian, Lucas, Thea, and Laud.  

Half of our “biggers” are actually adults.  That’s a strange place to realize I am at.  I paused a moment, glancing at my phone on my work desk.  The notice underneath my text went from “sent” to “read” and I smiled.  I thanked God for the honor of having so much time with my growing young women.  I thanked Him for getting to mother so many of His children.  (My heart reminded me that we get them for a short time.) 

I don’t want to think about that.  

My heart loves that they love to do stuff together.  Like when they got a “big girl trip” for their combined birthdays.  Such happy faces!

Now we are nearing the end of Rebeccah’s winter break. (I didn’t want to think about that, either.) Soon those giggles across the table at meals, board games, and roblox and minecraft shenanigans, the gamer shouts from the newly re-setup PS1 and Xbox in the playroom, and the kitchen laughter will again be missing our Rebeccah.  I am so thankful for her beautiful life!  I love the connectivity and humor she brings.  I miss her when she’s gone.  I thanked God for Rebeccah.  I pray she will always choose to talk to me when she needs to.  I pray I am keeping our communication open.  I pray she chooses wisdom. 

Kimberly and Jaquline go back to their respective schedules (as does everyone else) and move forward in their busy study, work, and training lives.  Kimberly recently found a friend who encourages her in faith and sports commitment; a very good thing for her at this time.  I thanked God for Kimberly.  I pray she chooses wisdom as she keeps moving toward her long-term goal of studying sports medicine or physical therapy.  She has such a heart for healing (and preventing injury) and an intuitive understanding of how the body works.  

Jaquline has recently started to focus her studies on law and debate – her new goal is to be a lawyer.  She does have a way of getting people to see merit in her direction.  I laugh sometimes at her logic.  She has such a wonderful attitude about life and her cheerfulness is catchy.  She takes the responsibility of helping raise children so seriously – she assists in the nursery and I often hear her say “my babies.”  She has a helpful heart and wants to see everyone treated fairly.  I thanked God for Jaquline.  I pray she continues to seek God and chooses wisdom in her life’s path.

Christina, our first with a Bachelor’s degree, is stepping forward toward her career.  She continues to live with us.  I am so thankful that she stays close.  I feel honored that she chooses to keep talking with me. I thank God for Christina.  I pray she seeks God in all aspects of her life.  I pray she chooses to chase her dreams and grab opportunities that arise.  I pray she chooses wisdom and can live with no regrets.  Christina has a mothering soul.  Her determination and ambition have served her well so far!

I love all stages of our family life.  Today I’m grateful for being able to watch our little girls grow into vibrant young women.  I am thankful I still get to be a part of their lives.  I am reminded that just as we can contain multiple emotions at once, our homes can contain multiple stages at once.  Thank you, Jesus, for the honor of being a mother.  

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Mary Did Know, Do You?

Sometimes I may think too deep
#2022 #Family #HistoricalThoughts #DidMaryKnow #DidMarysMotherKnow #RaisingGodsKids #ChildrenAreAnHeritageFromTheLord #Psalm127_3 #SpeakLife #ChooseTruth #TheyAreWatchingYou #MotherhoodIsAnHonor #FatherhoodIsAnHonor #Reward #Gift #Blessing #Love #ShePonderedInHerHeart

December 31, 2022

Mary Did Know, Do You?

I read a post today that said “Mary may have known, but her mother did not.”  

That hit me.  We sing the song “Mary Did You Know” which I love, but always mentally I remind myself that the Bible tells us “Mary pondered these things in her heart” regarding the Angel’s visit, the visits of the shepherds, magi, the Angel’s message for them to flee, even the time when they lost Jesus in the temple.  She was constantly pondering.  Considering, probably praying, “God, direct me.”  She knew what responsibility God had given her.  

But her mother?  Mary was favored by God.  Her mother must have brought her up in the wisdom and admonition of the Lord.  The whole post was about this – Mary did know, her mother did not.

Don’t we all know?  I mean, not that every one of us carries Jesus or looks as the Creator of the World in our arms and ponders it in our hearts… but each of us who are mothers have carried at least one little child – don’t they all belong to God?  

I remember looking at my firstborn: tiny, beautiful face and long eyelashes, strong little fingers with a tremendous grip, perfect tiny toes, I drank in every little detail of her sweet, fragile body.  We prayed over her because we knew she belonged to God.  Even her name was a promise from us; Christina Elizabeth means “Believer in Christ, Servant of God,” it was our promise that we would do our best with the few years God gave her to us.  

Each little one afterward I’ve felt the same utter joy and overwhelming responsibility.  They are God’s kids, not mine.  I get the honor of mothering them and we get to raise them; pointing them in the right direction.  Our prayer is that they take on the responsibility for their relationship themselves and continue to grow in grace and love.  

Mary did know what honor God had given her.  Mary’s mother knew only that she was raising a daughter of Israel, a girl who would become a woman.  I imagine that all mothers whispered in their hearts to their daughters before Christ’s birth, “live true, child, it may be you through whom the God of our Fathers chooses to bring the Saviour of the World.”  I imagine that Mary’s mother’s mother whispered the same thing to her.  They lived in the wonder of hope and faith.  They believed in the future reality and each prayed she would be the girl given the honor; each woman didn’t know if their daughter may be the one chosen by God, but they chose to raise their daughters to be wives and mothers to honor God.  

They heard or read as we still do, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” ~Psalm 127:3  Children are a blessing, a reward, a gift God gives us to give back to Him. 

No, we do not know what plans God has for our children, but we can pray for their path and lead them to an understanding of God’s love.  We are all entrusted with raising our children for a time, but they all truly belong to God.  

Thank you, Jesus, for the honor of motherhood!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Life Goals

December 28, 2022

Life Goals

I continually reevaluate my “life goals,” if you want to call them that.  

Core has always been to love Jesus, pass that on to everyone I can touch, and show love when I can.  The additions have changed a little:

Pre-twenties, I wanted to be a wife, mother, and teacher.  Did that.  Am living that.

Twenties to mid-thirty: The only earthly thing I wanted for my children was a home they all grew up in and family roots.  I failed at that. Life teaches you lessons and you hope to pass on the results so they don’t fall into the same trap.

Thirty-three and beyond, I only want my children to love Jesus in a true life-long relationship; I’ve learned that everything in life beyond relationships is just temporary.  

Lately, my older children have made comments in passing that really cut to my heart.  The first year I didn’t unwrap a gift from you.  (Her gifts were too large to wrap & smaller things were in her stocking.)  Wow, they’ve lived there like 12 years, that would never be us.  (We did have a home for 14 years, just moved to two different places during that ownership to help other people for seasons.)  You don’t give me stuff like the other girls’ moms.  (No, I can’t give anyone a brand new car as they get their license, a new laptop, the latest phone, gaming systems, etc.  I provide you with opportunities to save for those things and decide their value yourself.)

Those things and other assorted in passing comments have made me delve into self-examination for the past couple of months.  I can’t talk to my Daddy about it, praying feels one-way, a memory pops up of Louis’ accident last year and the days of challenges and miracles, I feel like I’ll never dig us out into property that is our home (though I keep reminding my doubt that I left that in God’s hands, the doubt keeps trying to come in), people I know whose children I know are dying from poison, I pray daily for those I know who are affected: my life feels useless as I feel like I can’t do much for anyone.

This morning I saw the evidence of a life well lived.  My entire perspective changed. 

There was a young woman in a beautiful wedding dress beaming a smile holding onto the arm of an elegant man in a suit.  Their faces shone with love.  The photo was a portrait size and in black and white; aged scores of years. You could feel their love.  Two candles on either side of the little table below the portrait.  Mementos and memories on the table; he had passed away before her.  It reminded me of my mother’s tribute shadowbox for my Daddy.  Her home was full of framed pictures: children and grandchildren in various smiles and grins.  A few in the midst of laughter – those cherished candid photos that you keep even if they aren’t the best quality.  Worn rocker.  Stockings.  A Christmas tree.  An open Bible.  Her faith and the relationships she had cultivated radiated from each well-worn book, devotional, and study guide on that little bookshelf. My writer’s brain wondered how many of those books she or her husband had bought and then passed around. How many grandchildren had heard stories from that Children’s Bible with the bent binding?  Children told her goodbye: that they loved her, they didn’t want her to leave, that they would see her later in heaven, one told her to give daddy a kiss from her.  

That is a life well-lived.  

Her children loved her enough to keep taking care of her at home; like Mom did for Grandma Jeanette.  Don’t ever put me in a nursing home.  Because of love, they sacrificed and made it happen that they cared for mom at her home so she could die in peace.  Her face showed that peace.  

That is a life well-lived. 

I was so overwhelmed with emotion for that wonderful woman I didn’t know.  Grandma Jeanette told me once to “live with no regrets” which I also remember from the lady who gave me my first cookbook.  She’d been married four times and raised five boys.  Her life story was how to gather things and make stews and build add-ons to her house and save people from storms on the lake.  Her sons all passed on her faith; I played with her grandchildren and they were the first group of children I’d met who talked about Jesus like a close friend like my family did.  She wrote “God will bless your life, let Him lead,” in my cookbook cover (I was 7 years old).  She died shortly after at 90-something.  

That is a life well-lived. 

Live with no regrets.  Love without reservation.  

My goal is to allow my children to see Jesus through me, to trust Him in everything, to do my absolute best to shine His love wherever I can.  

Life doesn’t have to be long to be well-lived.  I consider the life I’ve already lived to be amazing.  I thank God for each day He’s given me.  For the challenges we’ve overcome as a family, for the health miracles which are the reason my babies and I are here, for the protection over my daughters’ hearts as they allow it, for the relationships we have with each other.  Those I’ve known for seasons who are friends like sisters and brothers in my heart.  Growing those relationships as best I can even when life is “too busy” and time is challenging; that is a goal. 

Live with no regrets.  Love without reservation. 

I was 12, she was a beautiful frail girl with a rapturous joy of life and Jesus and family when we met her.  She shared her love with everyone without caring what they thought.  If someone stared at her bald head, she would approach them and say, hi, how are you today? And try to show them love and happiness.  She came to our house probably because we treated her and her sister just like we treated anyone else; we played with them, swang with them, took them for canoe rides, fished on the shore while she braided flowers, played with our chickens and dogs together, told stories to each other, and otherwise enjoyed life.  She lost her battle with cancer shortly afterward, but I couldn’t cry.  She was home with Jesus like she talked about all the time.  She told us we had to still play with Danielle.  As long as we lived there, we did.  I still love Erica and Danielle like they were my own sisters; since we were sisters in the faith, we are sisters. 

That is a life well-lived. 

He was his sisters’ baby doll.  He protected everyone.  He was loved by everyone.  He knew who needed to hear and in turns shared his faith and struggles and love with them.  His smile told you everything you needed to know; he was genuine.  He died protecting those he cared about.  His legacy is the love and relationships left in the hearts of those he loved and who loved him; and the relationships they created when coming to celebrate his life.  He was my brother’s friend.  His family and mine were intertwined in so many relationships through many seasons of our lives.  

That is a life well-lived. 

My perspective shifted.  It set me back on the track that my brain keeps trying to veer me off of.  My true life goal is to shine with Jesus’ light: to make strong relationships, to build into people, to share my faith, to encourage others, to help when I can, to do my very best to love as Jesus does.  And in Jesus’ time, when my story on Earth is finished, I will go home and those I love will see a life well-lived. 

Right now, I’m living my life well-lived!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Encouragers: The Lady Who Smiles

The Lady Who Smile. Never underestimate the power of your small gesture!

Encouragers: The Lady Who Smiles

October 3, 2022

Some days you just need to be encouraged.  Most often, you don’t realize how important this encouragement is to your mood until someone does encourage you.  As Christians we are admonished to be encouragers.  As iron sharpens iron, we are to help each other: build each other up, edify, support, and speak truth in love. 

There’s a sweet lady who serves as a greeter at our church.  Her smile is absolutely beautiful.  The power of truth in her joy radiates from this smile to warm your heart as soon as you notice her standing at the doorway.  She always says good morning and is far better with names that I am as she often greets people by their first names.  (I try to be good with names, it’s something I’m training myself to do, but I often mix up my own kids or call moms by their daughter’s names and quickly attempt correction by saying, so-and-so’s mom – who am I kidding?)

I was feeling rather low this particular Sunday morning.  A lot has been pressing down on my heart lately – mostly financial, but then, that is a constant mental fight for me.  It goes something like this: Look how poor you are; you can’t even go to xyz (one of the girls’ gymnastics meets, a sister-cousin’s party, a group trip to some amusement park, etc.).  You didn’t send them to Passion Camp this year.  You don’t even own a house.  Such a failure, your dream was stability for your children so they would have a home.  You left a good-paying job… twice.  You chose less and your children pay for it by having to work for the things other kids just get. You have to eat what the food bank gives you.  You pick up underwear from a giveaway group! How selfish can you be to work where you enjoy rather than in a career that would provide better for your children? 

I fight that with: I am so thankful for fellow gym moms allowing my girls to carpool and enjoy their friend-time. They enjoyed sister-time this summer.  God has provided a house for us where my dream of family being close is a reality!  I am chosen by God.  I chose family and integrity, respectively.  My children value the things they have to work for and as they understand the concept of having to work for a gift they give, they appreciate every gift they get more!  God supplies our needs each week.  I’m so thankful for my hand-me-down giving and receiving friends and the Buy-Nothing group!  I have my dream job and am so super thankful for it; A Christian boss who allows me to bring my children when needed, we work schoolwork at the front desk, we’ve relied on work internet for accessing schoolwork courses and even the renting of our home more than a few times, my girls all have had an awesome first job experience, I work for family!

At those times when my mind is a mental battlefield and I force myself to dig deep into thankfulness (I think or speak my “I’m thankful fors”), a little encouragement goes a long way.  Just the fact that the smiling lady at the church doorway remembers my name correctly and can connect me with my girls (who beat us there, again, even though we left first!) gives me such encouragement!  When she says something like “you are such a good mother!” and I can feel the truth in her compliment, it is all I can do to respond with “thank you” and not cry.  I’m so grateful to God for the currently uncountable times the sweet lady has lifted my mood and encouraged me – I end up thanking God for her and that He knows my mental battles.  He knows that small gesture means the world to me. 

I walk in, I worship, I walk out, and usually I feel invisible.  That’s okay to me on the surface because it is so challenging for me to approach someone because I’m so scared of messing up with social interaction with other adults.  It’s the walk to the church gym that makes my head rise – I’m so totally ready to serve children.  Put me in front of children and I’m super confident!  (mom, coach, kid’s ministry assistant, leader, etc.)

I know how much a small bit of encouragement helps me so when God touches my heart to say something to another adult, I have been listening lately.  A compliment, a congratulations, a mention of how well-behaved their child was, encouragement that they are doing a good job as so-and-so has accomplished xyz goal… That is so super hard for me as a human!  I can only encourage other adults because Jesus gives me strength! 

(If you ever reflect on my interactions with you and you have a child I know, notice I often talk to the child first?  Yes, I’m so much more comfortable starting with the little ones!)

My challenge to myself is always to listen to God’s nudge of a quiet voice and offer encouragement to whomever He leads into my path.  I make it my challenge to you.  Encourage.  Even a smile and “Good Morning!” goes a long way sometimes!  I’m speaking from my own personal experience.  What you are really saying to that person is “I see you.”

Thank you to those who serve as greeters at our Good News Church!  Thank you for those who know my name!  Thank you for making me feel seen.  Thank you for encouraging me and helping me pass that on and encourage others.  If you are an encourager; KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!

Thank you for reading,

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Thankfulness 2022

This year it may be a little premature, but I’m super excited about the amazing things. #Thankful #Gratitude #PensacolaChristianCollege #EmbryRiddleAeronauticalUniversity #LifeJourney #Children #GoodNewsChurch #WGVGymnastics #Education #Thankfulness

Thankfulness 2022

September 27, 2022

Each year I try to reflect on what God has done in our lives this past year. 

This year it may be a little premature, but I’m super excited about the amazing things.  I love to brag on what God has done!

I’ve been working for WGV Gymnastics (dream job I wanted my whole life but didn’t know it).  Louis is coming up on two years of working for Heritage Funeral Home.  I am super thankful for our Christian work environments and Christian bosses. 

Christina is happily pursuing her dream with passion, determination, and enthusiasm.  She is still at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University full time, working at WGV Gymnastics part-time, and babysitting, dogsitting, and housesitting on the side.  She is an amazing big sister!  Her little gymnasts love her!  She serves in the nursery at Good News Church at least three times a month and loves “her babies” – yes, they become hers for an hour or so.  I am so thankful for Christina!

Becky has thrown some shocking curveballs at us and is away at Pensacola Christian College.  Same state, yes, but an hour earlier in time than we are.  (Different time zone, as she’s under Alabama on the panhandle – Lucas and Thea point out on the big map on the wall at church every morning when we get their lemon tea “there’s Becky!”) I am so proud of her!  She’s exploring and learning and growing – such an amazing young lady I am so blessed to be her mom!  Thank you, Jesus, for Becky!

Kimberly can legally drive… (REALLY???  I can’t believe she’s 15!)  She’s learning so much in schoolwork academically, in gymnastics physically, and in life with maturity as she grows and takes on so much responsibility!  Kimberly’s plans are impressive.  Her determination is a trait so many people comment on to me – as a youngling, it was labeled stubbornness, but now that she knows how to focus, it’s determination.  Kimberly is a competitive gymnast at WGV Gymnastics, a gymnastics coach part-time at WGV Gymnastics, serves in kid’s ministry at Good News Church at least twice a month, and dogsits occasionally.  (She is working toward her claimed goals of saving for a computer for college this spring and a car next fall.)  I am so thankful for Kimberly!

Jaquline is Christina’s twin.  Sometimes Christina’s gymnasts see Jaquline and give her hugs saying “hi! Coach!” which makes Jaquline smile proudly and Christina jealous.  “You’re stealing my hugs!” Christina has been known to say later.  Jaquline has grown in her relationship with Jesus so much in the last year.  She serves in the church nursery at least twice a month.  She occasionally volunteers at WGV – or works cleaning to “get Christina out faster.”  Jaquline continues to work toward her goal of team gymnast someday – she loves Beam and said she wished there was a Beam only competition.  Thank you, Jesus, for Jaquline!

Jillian is facing the challenges that come with entering double digits.  The want of being treated as an adult yet the want of continuing childish foolishness.  She’s maneuvering that with the cornerstone of knowing that Jesus can lead her through anything.  She loves her kid’s ministry leaders at Good News Church.  She loves her coaches at WGV Gymnastics (she’s a competitive gymnast).  She loves her friends and I see her making some lifelong friendships, if she can hold them.  She is leaping forward in academics!  I am so thankful for Jillian!

Lucas is an unstoppable force of limitless energy!  He is always running a one-man football game where he is the quarterback, receiver, kicker, lineman, and fullback all at the same time.  When he catches his own forward pass, I’ll have seen everything.  He begs me for a brother almost every day.  He is super thankful for his “gym brothers” and his “best friends.”  I am super thankful for these young boys and young men God has set around Lucas to help him enjoy being a little boy and slowly teach him how to be a young man.  Lucas gives 110% to everything he touches.  His passion and enthusiasm will help fuel his discovery stages as he grows.  He loves gymnastics.  He loves being strong.  He loves mud and football and big trucks and being like dad.  Thank you, Jesus, for Lucas!

Theadora is no longer the baby.  She is a “big girl” or a “young lady” all the time.  Though she loves snuggling (I’m so glad she hasn’t grown out of that yet), she is quick to say “I’ll do it myself!” and proceed to do just that.  Theadora has a bold confidence that comes from running the gym at the age of two.  She doesn’t care to keep up pretences, what you see is what you get – at times like that I think of her as “Becky junior.”  This confidence and determination will carry her far.  She “signs her name” as TTT and says, “see, I’m triple T,” they are left all over Coach Heather’s desk as “swips” for Coach Heather along with who-knows-what-it-should be doodles.  I am so thankful for Theadora!

I love the stage God has us in!  I’m so thankful to be here and alive and enjoying every minute of our time together and apart.  I love our family.  I’m so grateful to see our younglings grow and become young women (and eventually, a young man)!  Thank you, Jesus, for the honor of giving life and raising children!  I’m so overwhelmed with gratitude to you, Jesus, for my totally amazing family!

Thank you for reading.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Stretching Her Eagles’ Wings

Enjoy each moment! We know our children are “on loan” from God for a little while & then they take flight! Enjoy this adventure, Becky!

Stretching Her Eagles’ Wings

August 28, 2022

Part of our educational philosophy is never to hold anyone back.  That is sometimes the hardest part of being a homeschool mom, at least for me. 

Friday, Christina, Louis, Thea, and I drove Becky to Pensacola Christian College for the start of her next level.

The car trip was fun.  Louis and Christina kept playing songs Becky likes and saying, “oops, that’s not classical or hymns” which made everyone laugh and several discussions of songs and lyrics and morality erupt.  We didn’t stop as often for potty or snack breaks as Louis thought we’d have to (Thea was too entertained with her big sisters and Christina, Thea, and I packed a bunch of snacks). 

The campus was huge and iconic.  Beautiful brick and magnificent stately trees reflected tradition and integration.  I’m a bit nerdy; I loved the architecture and old fashioned style.  Everything was electronic though!  I had received an email asking for a physical copy of a specific document – and being leery of electronic access as I am, I brought the actual paper.  Didn’t need it.  The electronic version of the printed paper in my purse “transferred” perfectly from St Johns River without a thing from me.  As Becky’s “authorized parent,” I was able to load into a portal on my phone that allowed me access to maps, her mailbox information, orientation information, even schedules and everything as if I were the student – Becky said it was creepy, I thought it was cool!

After crossing off the seven things (five on the “welcome” list, but with Becky under eighteen there were two paperwork drop offs and as she’s in the work program, she had a task for that as well) Becky had to do and being as much help (okay, Becky would call it hindrance) as possible, we decided (not precisely accurate, Louis decided) to go have a late lunch together just off campus. 

Someone likes Becky’s new spot!

Mellow Mushroom.  In Pensacola?  I thought the one on Anastasia Island was the only…  oops.

Finally, I ended up with a picture of my college girls.  They thought it cool because both are Eagles and blue & gold & white.  (Kimberly got in on that because she took her SAT at Pedro Menendez High School so she considers herself a “Falcon” and even has a Pedro Menendez Vystar card!  She pulled it out and showed them the blue & yellow colors – “A falcon is a type of eagle” Kimberly claims.)  Becky laughed because she and Kimberly plan on being Gators when they head for their Masters & Doctorate.  (“trading the gold for orange” they claim) Remember that mustard yellow skirt?  Becky’s pairing it with her beautiful navy blue blouse turns her outfit into her college colors!

I’ve been listening a lot to college plans since we encourage studying the path to what they want to do and finding various ways to access that final goal.  There was a lot of path and plan discussion on that road trip. 

I’m so proud of Becky for taking flight!  I pray she has a wonderful experience and learns a lot.  I pray she makes friends and connections that will last a lifetime!  I pray she does her best.  Her best right now is amazing me.  I’m truly excited for her entering this stage. 

Thank you, Jesus, for making it possible for us to help our children pursue their dreams!  Thank you that each of them wants to help the other.  Thank you that each wants to invest in their own education by working for it both financially and mentally.  I’m so thankful for the blessing of Becky in my life!  Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me the honor of being her mother! 

As I’m driving back home, chatting with Christina as Thea and Louis sleep in the back, I think on how parents only really get to father or mother their children for a few years – they are on loan from God anyway as all of them are God’s children entrusted to us.   “21 years” by TobyMac came on the radio followed by “Cinderella” by Stephen Curtis Chapman… God knows how music touches me.  One bit in the “21 years” song that makes me smile is “21 years, what a beautiful loan,” (I thank you Jesus, for trusting us and “loaning” Becky – and the others, but this thought was really about Becky – to us) and in “Cinderella” the bit is “but I know something the prince never knew,” [meaning they grow up and go] and yes, girls become young women, make their own decisions, and I pray mine know they can still talk to me about anything. 

Enjoy your “loans” with your littles!  Enjoy every bit you can.  God has trusted us with training and raising His beautiful children!  Just like I love watching “my little gymnasts” (those I’ve coached, usually as preschoolers) as they rise, I love watching my girls become young ladies. 

I love you, Becky!  Let your light shine!  Enjoy this adventure called life!  Every day is a gift from God; that’s why it’s called the present!

Thank you for reading.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Dating Decisions – Part 4

Dating Decision Part 4: Dissecting Real Life and True Love #DatingDecision #Decision #Dating #Focus #Choice #Purity #Liberating #Saving #Love #Understanding #Choices #Allow #Marry #Marriage

September 23, 2020

Dating Decisions Part 4

If you’ve kept with this series so far, you know I’m almost 18 in the story now. I’ve been studying myself, trying to shift my focus to Jesus and become the woman I know He wants me to be. I’ve been people watching everyone. I am still very shy around my peers. I am only comfortable talking about dreams and hopes and principles; not very good at small talk. I die after “I’m good, how are you?” But ask my opinion on something and you get more than you wanted. I am a good listener. I sort people into boxes depending on what they tell me: mental boxes labeled, “stay away,” “like to be friends,” “want to learn more from,” and “never in a million years.”

I hit 18.5, had gone out to Disney Springs with several friends from work twice (which my Daddy fully encouraged and wanted to know if we’d met any guys… no, we goofed off, went to a comedy show, watched the two oldest drink “Monkey Brains” from a monkey-head mug and get sillier by the second, sang along with a band, people watched, danced line dances at the country bar, and did cartwheels on the AMC stars waiting for my mom & the two other younger friend’s rides). After relaying this to my Daddy, he shook his head and said, “that sounds like ten year olds instead of adults!” I grinned, “but it sounds like friends hanging out in your stories.” Yes. I was crazy.

I was working at Disney and during the few lunch breaks I took, I joined the two other girls who claimed to be Christ-followers and we encouraged each other. It shocked me. Of all who asked me out there, every one of the “boys” (I refused to call them men per my Daddy’s earlier definition) expected a date to end with sex. No. No dating for me. At 18, getting a little bolder, I had started wearing a silver ring with my birthstone that my Daddy had given me a few years back for a birthday gift. I told anyone who asked me out that it was my virginity ring and a symbol of the vow I made to save myself for my future husband. That kept a few of the nicer “boys” from trying to ask me out. One named Guy said, “awesome, sister!” overhearing my spiel and encouraged with, “keep it up.” No, he didn’t ask me out; none of the few single “men” I met asked me out at this point.

The most important step in my dating decisions came when I left Kissimmee. I moved the last time with my parents (told my Daddy, “just one more time.”) and once in Saint Augustine I became an assistant in our youth group. I saw so much sadness and pain in the preteen girls I tried to mentor. This was the first time I agreed to help out with teaching youth. I prayed for each girl by name.

I discovered that the most important part of any girl’s life was to fall in love with Jesus first. Really. Truly. To give Him everything about you. Not to keep anything back – regarding life, love, boys, men, thoughts, heart. A girl’s first love had to be Jesus. A boy’s first love had to be Jesus. We went to a Rock the Universe concert and I listened to Nicole C Mullen tell us about how Jesus had to be our first and primary love. For all of our life; single and married, we had to constantly be “chasing” after Jesus. I realized that I was trying to keep control on my future and needed to surrender everything about my future to Jesus.

That was my final conscious dating decision: I decided I would always be a woman chasing after Jesus; that I would love Him foremost and that my future husband would love Jesus first as well. Jesus is my first love.

I learned that the term “missionary dating” was a huge thing for young girls. They seemed to think that by dating a non-Christian they were doing a good thing. I studied with them and we learned that the Bible clearly says being unequally yoked (aka a non-Christian and a Christian) does not work with God’s plan.

Basically there is one rule for Christians in marriage from Jesus and it is really simple: Ready?

Men: marry a woman who love Jesus.

Women: marry a man who loves Jesus.

There isn’t a “wrong one” if they love Jesus, there is only a “wrong first love.”

Jesus should be our first love. We should allow Him to hold our heart safe (the Bible calls it “protected by a hedge”) and wait on Him. If the person we are dating loves Jesus first, they will know how to love us. If we love Jesus, we will know how to love them.

We don’t obey Jesus out of fear, but out of love. As a Christian, we choose to avoid sin because we know sin breaks God’s heart and our passion is to serve Him with love. I wasn’t truly saving my purity for my future husband – I was obeying Jesus and His design because I loved Him. That should have been my first focus. Once I truly understood that my obedience with my body was because I loved Jesus it was liberating! I was understanding that God made sex in His perfect design and that within His rules, it was something to be looked forward to. (Honestly, at 18, I was still at the point where I thought “it” was super gross… dorky, I know.) It became less about rules and more about love.

“I am saving myself for my future husband because I love Jesus and He says it is the way.”

Once I wrote that in my journal, so much of the teenage garbage and pressures from everyone around me seemed to melt. It was perfectly okay to be a virgin adult. (Did I write that? Yep. I had so many from many age groups laugh at me and even my sisters teased me because I had what they called “virgin lips.”)

I was a few days from 19, still never been on a date, when I went to my Daddy’s family reunion in Georgia. Every one of my cousins and my siblings in their teen years had been on a date; most over 14 had already kissed. It was super laughter day for them. I loved that day. I loved now being able to witness to kids my age or younger about Jesus’ love just because they couldn’t believe I was wearing a ring on my wedding ring finger to remind me that my heart belonged first to Jesus.

It became a witness goal for me. Jesus used that tiny band for me to talk to so many young people during this season of my life. Most laughed. Almost all of them laughed. But I found myself praying for them and maybe my words helped a few.

We moved within Saint Augustine and started going to a new church. This was the first place I didn’t immediately jump into helping. I was almost 19 and still didn’t have a license. Instead I found myself trying to make friends. I wanted people with whom I could share life. I never wanted to leave the place called Saint Augustine. I had found a place my heart loved. I felt Jesus telling me this would be my home.

Fast forward 20 years:

I did leave dating and marriage and family up to Jesus. (Yes, stayed in Saint Augustine area.) I married a man who also loves Jesus first. We continually learn and love Jesus more and learn and love each other more – our relationship started with each of our first dates. In the world’s eyes, we were each other’s first loves. Really, Jesus was and is the first love for both of us. We loved Jesus with our bodies and futures. We each respected the other enough to wait until we were married. We didn’t “try it out” first. (BTW; Our chemistry is just fine!) We will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary in November. In November 2052, we will celebrate our 50th. We are in this for the long run. Our focus is on Jesus in our love and marriage as it should be in all things.

My constant prayer is that people realize that their sexuality is not divorced from their spirituality. God made us complete. Just like our physical hunger shouldn’t make us decide we need to eat unhealthy things, our sexual hunger shouldn’t make us decide to do unhealthy things. Our ability to control the natural hungers or desires within us is what proves we are free. One can only be 100% free by giving everything to Jesus.

My story is uniquely mine as yours is uniquely yours.

My story is the tale of a girl discovering her self through Jesus. It is the story of a woman continually choosing to follow Jesus every day and in each decision. Often, I fail. I fall out of focus and instead let the negative self-image that my mind sees try to convince me that I’m worthless. Jesus says we are loved. Bought with the price of His blood from the slave market of sin – all sins. He knows the innermost parts of our mind, heart, and soul and still loves us! Nothing is too bad that makes us unloved by Jesus. He reaches out His hand so we can choose to charge our life in big ways and small ways and continually choose to live our life to show people Jesus through our actions; they will know us by our love.

I choose to focus on Jesus. I choose to focus on my first love. Through Him, and only through Him, am I able to show the love for myself, my husband, my family, and others around me in a way that reflects Jesus.

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

Dating Decisions – Part 3

Dating Decisions Part 3: Discovering Real Life and True Love

September 20, 2020

Dating Decisions – Part 3

At this point in my story I am a few months into 16, realizing that my focus cannot be on someone else. Jesus is my answer, my hope, my truth, not some guy I will meet “eventually.” That brought more peace to my crazy teenage mind than any other decision I had made since choosing Jesus as my personal Savior.

I determined to stand on the principles of virtue that I wanted to find in my future mate. If I had high expectations, it stood to reason that he should as well.

I had already told God (when I was 12) that I would keep myself a perfect gift for my husband. I did some silly girlish stuff that I kept hidden – like write letters to my future husband as I was journaling. Several, actually most, of these letters were destroyed by inquisitive dogs and siblings long before I was 19. I understood purity to be in the mind, body, and heart. Of all the people I interviewed, none told me they wished they had “tried it out first” but almost every person who had “tried sex out” before marriage told me that they wished they hadn’t. Most of them cited trust issues after marriage as their reason. A few told me it made them feel less worthy or made their partner less desirable. Several did not marry the person they “tried out” with. My Daddy told me that once a boy makes a conquest, he thinks of the girl as dirty, trash, something to be discarded. He said that was why he never wanted to use anyone. He told me “men don’t use women but boys use girls.” The silver screen brought that to life in “Spencer’s Mountain” where they get the cow bred and Dad says to son something like: you aren’t a bull and your woman won’t be a cow. That image stuck with me. Stories about my Daddy’s friends, relatives in our extended family, and from my curious interview subjects led me to the understanding that if someone doesn’t respect your decisions in regard to your personal limits, they don’t truly respect you at all.

That led me to the decision that should I be dating someone and they choose to ignore or press my limits, I would back up and leave. Don’t respect me = deal breaker.

I also decided that I would give them just as much respect as I expected. That was something I already did because I was raised that way, but I made that mental decision and wrote it down just to solidify it. If I couldn’t respect them, I wouldn’t waste their time. A wife is expected to respect her husband.

I started to think of myself as a wife-in-training. I had read a devotional book where the woman writer referred to her students as “women-in-training” and I loved that idea! I’m big on apprentice type learning. Show me, direct me, and I pick up rather quickly. I think that actually learning from someone with real world experience is the absolute best. (Another reason I LOVE the movie “War Room” – if you haven’t seen it, DO IT.) I picked out the qualities that I needed to work on (like patience and not nagging) and started trying them out on my siblings. Siblings had taught me that I was low on the patience thing. (Truthfully, children have taught me that I’m still, constantly, and will be forever working on the patience thing.) I am a big sister who likes to not allow her little siblings to get in a situation she knows how to prevent, but I had to sit back and let them learn after only one warning. My Daddy boomed a deep-belly laugh when he asked 17-year-old me why I let my little sisters go out in white shirts (in Florida afternoon, Kissimmee = 10 minute torrential rainfall at precisely 3pm) and I replied with “I warned them, but I’m trying to learn how not to nag, so I only said it once.”

My focus was now on myself. I understood that I needed to be a better person for my siblings, parents, and my future family. This was just the beginning.

I was still feeling tremendous pressure from peer groups to “date” like my siblings. My study had led me to the belief that dating was a long series of pre-marital interviews. I had been to job and volunteer worker interviews. I knew that the most direct way to find out if a person was a good match for the job or position was to ask direct questions. At 16, I could no longer blame my daddy and say “my Dad won’t let me date until I’m 16” therefore I began being super direct by asking, “do you love Jesus?” About half of those who asked me out laughed in a scoffing manner and (since I was primarily around church groups) respond with, “I go to church.” My reply to that “puffy religious response” was equally “puffy religious” – “no thanks. I can only court after I’m 18.”

At this point, mid-17, I still had an excellent relationship with my Daddy. I would tell him when someone asked me out. Once he told me my standards were too high, that I was expecting perfection. My reply was, “I’m looking for someone at least as much in love with Jesus as I am; the man is supposed to be the spiritual head of the family.” I was super-focused on getting into UMR or FIT at this point (two engineering colleges I was chasing) and my Daddy was big on education which is why I believe he didn’t press the matter really. I told him I wasn’t planning on dating until I was ready to marry. That became a repeated line whenever I was teased by family or my sister’s friends. One guy I didn’t like approached me about “hooking up for fun” and I asked him if he was ready to raise a child. His entire friend group left me alone.

I had devised an entire pre-programmed set of responses to boys and now men because I had yet to be asked out by anyone I actually would have dated. There had only been two young men whom I watched and admired the character of since I was 16 and neither asked me out. I actually had deep discussions about Biblical issues with both of them and discovered more about “Biblical courtship” from the latter when I was 17.

I delved deeper into the idea of Biblical courtship with a book I stumbled upon just before I turned 18. “I Kissed Dating GoodBye” by Joshua Harris – I didn’t agree with all of the book, but there were many bits that helped me to understand the whole courtship thing.

I may have bent your ears too long in this epistle. Oops!

Ready for the biggest decision of my dating steps? Covering that next time…

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

Wonder and Amazement

August 8, 2020

Wonder and Amazement

“Mom,” this was in a very contemplative tone like Pooh Bear thinking, “do you think God ever gets sad because people don’t like themselves?”

I’m pretty sure he does. Her pause wasn’t enough to answer.

“God worked so hard on each of us to make us special. Why does the devil make us think we aren’t beautiful?”

Wow.

Unpack that one as a Mom. …as a woman…

We are each fearfully and wonderfully made. God knit each of us together while we were in our mother’s womb. Jesus died for each of us.

We know these things, yet why does our inner voice always seem to tell us we are not special, not important, not valuable? Often it is our own inner voice that says this to us. Honestly, our culture of appearing perfect and surface relationships may contribute to this; who are we kidding? It does. Yet this type of self-loathing has been around since the beginning. The Bible constantly reminds us that we are made in God’s image, that He loves us, that he set ways for each of our unique paths…

Imagine you create a labor of love – maybe a crocheted blanket, handmade dress, birdhouse, special card, meal, it could be anything – and the person you give it to throws it away in your face. “It’s ugly.”

Imagine you child looks at you with a tear-stained face and says, “I’m ugly.” Your heart breaks.

That is what God sees.

Why does the devil want us to not like ourselves? Easy answer. He wants to destroy. If we see ourselves as less, incapable, and unimportant we will not try to accomplish what God wants for us. That is what the devil wants. That is why he whispers to our hearts lies about us. You are ugly, unimportant, unloved, weak, incapable…

If you hear this… Shut it down! You are loved! Jesus died for you! He created your special character and loves every part of you! Anything telling you that you are unwanted is a lie.

Yes, daughter, you are loved always.

People may fail you.

Jobs, scholarships, schools may not want you; may choose against you.

Circumstances may try to swallow you.

But. You. Are. Always. Loved.

You have been created with an amazing purpose and a wonderful set of amazing unique qualities that fit perfect for what you were made for. This is the truth.

Encourage others! Encourage yourself!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

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