June 17, 2019
Fatherhood
So, you know this huge thing called “Fatherhood?”
What comes to mind? A parenting book I read when I was twelve (yes, oldest sibling perks!) said something like “the child’s view of God as a Father is directly impacted by their experience with their Earthly Father.”
Yes. So true.
I went into parenthood knowing this. (Songs like “He Wants to be Like Me” reaffirmed this giant responsibility.)
A Father is often the humor of the family too – in the photo, Louis had climbed to the top of the stump and challenged “Come Get Me!” … notice all the kids following!
Despite the failures that I’ve made as a Mom and that I felt repercussions of from my parents (they were AWESOME parents, but they weren’t perfect) – I understand the crux of all parenting: we are human. We (Parents) are not Jesus and are not perfect.
Bingo.
That awesome thing called grace collaborates with the huge responsibility of parenting to create a vulnerable, praying, God-dependant parent capable of teaching the amazing love and grace of Jesus through their own transparency.
Let’s face it: most of the American culture makes fun of fathers. (Ever seen the Goofy Salute to Fatherhood?) Even as early as the 1950s when there was still a bit of a patriarchal society present, cartoons and movies started to depict fathers as lazy, goofy, clueless bunglers who often caused more problems than they solved.
Although I laughed along with my Daddy at a lot of these early shots at the masculine father, I understood the bulk of media still left you understanding that the love and bond of a father to child was the glue of a family. The unsung hero always was the silent sure strength of the God-following Father.
As time inched forward, the media continued to turn the American Father into a non-essential entity.
The opposite is true!
I consider myself a strong, independent woman when it comes to my life. I am a Christian woman, but one of my strongest battles with myself is submission – first to my father, then to Jesus, and later to my husband. I know this though… I CANNOT be the mother I am without the encouragement and support from my husband.
If I had to do motherhood without my husband being my ultimate cheerleader and sounding board, I would have realized how unfit I am about three months into the first child. I have the ultimate respect for people whose life circumstances have forced them to navigate parenthood alone. I try to be an encourager to them and help those single parents in any way I can because I cannot imagine myself having that strength.
I am excited to be around my husband! I was on a softball team (church, yes, I’m an athletic maniac but wasn’t on an actual team until I was in my late 20s and it was just for one season with my church family). Louis was working sometimes 100+ hours a week for our family at the time. The company I had just closed. He’d never made it to any of our games (I took all the kids with me; they loved it and hung out with their friends & some of the church ladies who came to encourage us bounced my baby around). One day he showed up and I was so excited! (I was told I squealed like a little girl; don’t remember exactly.) I love walking with him. I am excited when we do something as a family – or when he’s going somewhere and says, “hey want to go with me?” Because I know he likes his alone time. I get way too much alone time at my office – I relish gym coaching because of the other encouraging women I work for and with and the chattering children I love. I will chatter way too much sometimes.
Our church sermon was on how Fathers aren’t perfect (only Jesus is) and how their honesty and relationship is their connection with their children. It’s the way to disciple. We aren’t perfect, our children aren’t perfect – bingo! Common ground.
I know how important real, honest, God-fearing Fathers are to the fabric of our family. I know how hard it is to buck the media’s garbage portrayal of our roles and follow God’s plan instead. I am so thankful that I have a husband who is pursuing God’s heart. His passion for Jesus makes him a better husband, a better father, and a better friend. He helps encourage me to pursue God’s heart. (Told you I’m competitive.) He isn’t perfect, but he is constantly improving. A challenge arises and he rises above it. He’s always leading in love and with a determined drive that is totally contagious. His passion for Jesus, life, and family (okay, and sports) is encouraging.
And he doesn’t think he’s “so much” – he compliments and lifts me up consistently. He makes me feel like I’m doing well despite whatever challenge I feel I’m failing.
At church, we pulled in on Father’s Day (neither of our fathers went to church as adults) and he comments, “wow, church is crowded on Father’s Day.” Yes, at our church, the culture of encouraging each person to follow God individually, corporately, and in their family is persistent. (I was afraid we lost that when our previous church folded.) I am so encouraged that Louis has found a church with a culture of lifting up men as fathers; the vital leaders in their homes, encouraging and holding each other accountable.
Thank you, Jesus, for fathers who choose to take the hard road and follow you; they are raising up the next generation of world-changers.
Thanks for reading!
Type at you next later…
~Nancy Tart