Tag: awesome

Dating Decisions – Part 4

Dating Decision Part 4: Dissecting Real Life and True Love #DatingDecision #Decision #Dating #Focus #Choice #Purity #Liberating #Saving #Love #Understanding #Choices #Allow #Marry #Marriage

September 23, 2020

Dating Decisions Part 4

If you’ve kept with this series so far, you know I’m almost 18 in the story now. I’ve been studying myself, trying to shift my focus to Jesus and become the woman I know He wants me to be. I’ve been people watching everyone. I am still very shy around my peers. I am only comfortable talking about dreams and hopes and principles; not very good at small talk. I die after “I’m good, how are you?” But ask my opinion on something and you get more than you wanted. I am a good listener. I sort people into boxes depending on what they tell me: mental boxes labeled, “stay away,” “like to be friends,” “want to learn more from,” and “never in a million years.”

I hit 18.5, had gone out to Disney Springs with several friends from work twice (which my Daddy fully encouraged and wanted to know if we’d met any guys… no, we goofed off, went to a comedy show, watched the two oldest drink “Monkey Brains” from a monkey-head mug and get sillier by the second, sang along with a band, people watched, danced line dances at the country bar, and did cartwheels on the AMC stars waiting for my mom & the two other younger friend’s rides). After relaying this to my Daddy, he shook his head and said, “that sounds like ten year olds instead of adults!” I grinned, “but it sounds like friends hanging out in your stories.” Yes. I was crazy.

I was working at Disney and during the few lunch breaks I took, I joined the two other girls who claimed to be Christ-followers and we encouraged each other. It shocked me. Of all who asked me out there, every one of the “boys” (I refused to call them men per my Daddy’s earlier definition) expected a date to end with sex. No. No dating for me. At 18, getting a little bolder, I had started wearing a silver ring with my birthstone that my Daddy had given me a few years back for a birthday gift. I told anyone who asked me out that it was my virginity ring and a symbol of the vow I made to save myself for my future husband. That kept a few of the nicer “boys” from trying to ask me out. One named Guy said, “awesome, sister!” overhearing my spiel and encouraged with, “keep it up.” No, he didn’t ask me out; none of the few single “men” I met asked me out at this point.

The most important step in my dating decisions came when I left Kissimmee. I moved the last time with my parents (told my Daddy, “just one more time.”) and once in Saint Augustine I became an assistant in our youth group. I saw so much sadness and pain in the preteen girls I tried to mentor. This was the first time I agreed to help out with teaching youth. I prayed for each girl by name.

I discovered that the most important part of any girl’s life was to fall in love with Jesus first. Really. Truly. To give Him everything about you. Not to keep anything back – regarding life, love, boys, men, thoughts, heart. A girl’s first love had to be Jesus. A boy’s first love had to be Jesus. We went to a Rock the Universe concert and I listened to Nicole C Mullen tell us about how Jesus had to be our first and primary love. For all of our life; single and married, we had to constantly be “chasing” after Jesus. I realized that I was trying to keep control on my future and needed to surrender everything about my future to Jesus.

That was my final conscious dating decision: I decided I would always be a woman chasing after Jesus; that I would love Him foremost and that my future husband would love Jesus first as well. Jesus is my first love.

I learned that the term “missionary dating” was a huge thing for young girls. They seemed to think that by dating a non-Christian they were doing a good thing. I studied with them and we learned that the Bible clearly says being unequally yoked (aka a non-Christian and a Christian) does not work with God’s plan.

Basically there is one rule for Christians in marriage from Jesus and it is really simple: Ready?

Men: marry a woman who love Jesus.

Women: marry a man who loves Jesus.

There isn’t a “wrong one” if they love Jesus, there is only a “wrong first love.”

Jesus should be our first love. We should allow Him to hold our heart safe (the Bible calls it “protected by a hedge”) and wait on Him. If the person we are dating loves Jesus first, they will know how to love us. If we love Jesus, we will know how to love them.

We don’t obey Jesus out of fear, but out of love. As a Christian, we choose to avoid sin because we know sin breaks God’s heart and our passion is to serve Him with love. I wasn’t truly saving my purity for my future husband – I was obeying Jesus and His design because I loved Him. That should have been my first focus. Once I truly understood that my obedience with my body was because I loved Jesus it was liberating! I was understanding that God made sex in His perfect design and that within His rules, it was something to be looked forward to. (Honestly, at 18, I was still at the point where I thought “it” was super gross… dorky, I know.) It became less about rules and more about love.

“I am saving myself for my future husband because I love Jesus and He says it is the way.”

Once I wrote that in my journal, so much of the teenage garbage and pressures from everyone around me seemed to melt. It was perfectly okay to be a virgin adult. (Did I write that? Yep. I had so many from many age groups laugh at me and even my sisters teased me because I had what they called “virgin lips.”)

I was a few days from 19, still never been on a date, when I went to my Daddy’s family reunion in Georgia. Every one of my cousins and my siblings in their teen years had been on a date; most over 14 had already kissed. It was super laughter day for them. I loved that day. I loved now being able to witness to kids my age or younger about Jesus’ love just because they couldn’t believe I was wearing a ring on my wedding ring finger to remind me that my heart belonged first to Jesus.

It became a witness goal for me. Jesus used that tiny band for me to talk to so many young people during this season of my life. Most laughed. Almost all of them laughed. But I found myself praying for them and maybe my words helped a few.

We moved within Saint Augustine and started going to a new church. This was the first place I didn’t immediately jump into helping. I was almost 19 and still didn’t have a license. Instead I found myself trying to make friends. I wanted people with whom I could share life. I never wanted to leave the place called Saint Augustine. I had found a place my heart loved. I felt Jesus telling me this would be my home.

Fast forward 20 years:

I did leave dating and marriage and family up to Jesus. (Yes, stayed in Saint Augustine area.) I married a man who also loves Jesus first. We continually learn and love Jesus more and learn and love each other more – our relationship started with each of our first dates. In the world’s eyes, we were each other’s first loves. Really, Jesus was and is the first love for both of us. We loved Jesus with our bodies and futures. We each respected the other enough to wait until we were married. We didn’t “try it out” first. (BTW; Our chemistry is just fine!) We will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary in November. In November 2052, we will celebrate our 50th. We are in this for the long run. Our focus is on Jesus in our love and marriage as it should be in all things.

My constant prayer is that people realize that their sexuality is not divorced from their spirituality. God made us complete. Just like our physical hunger shouldn’t make us decide we need to eat unhealthy things, our sexual hunger shouldn’t make us decide to do unhealthy things. Our ability to control the natural hungers or desires within us is what proves we are free. One can only be 100% free by giving everything to Jesus.

My story is uniquely mine as yours is uniquely yours.

My story is the tale of a girl discovering her self through Jesus. It is the story of a woman continually choosing to follow Jesus every day and in each decision. Often, I fail. I fall out of focus and instead let the negative self-image that my mind sees try to convince me that I’m worthless. Jesus says we are loved. Bought with the price of His blood from the slave market of sin – all sins. He knows the innermost parts of our mind, heart, and soul and still loves us! Nothing is too bad that makes us unloved by Jesus. He reaches out His hand so we can choose to charge our life in big ways and small ways and continually choose to live our life to show people Jesus through our actions; they will know us by our love.

I choose to focus on Jesus. I choose to focus on my first love. Through Him, and only through Him, am I able to show the love for myself, my husband, my family, and others around me in a way that reflects Jesus.

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

Fatherhood

June 17, 2019

Fatherhood

So, you know this huge thing called “Fatherhood?”

What comes to mind?  A parenting book I read when I was twelve (yes, oldest sibling perks!) said something like “the child’s view of God as a Father is directly impacted by their experience with their Earthly Father.”

Yes. So true.

I went into parenthood knowing this. (Songs like “He Wants to be Like Me” reaffirmed this giant responsibility.)

A Father is often the humor of the family too – in the photo, Louis had climbed to the top of the stump and challenged “Come Get Me!” … notice all the kids following!

Despite the failures that I’ve made as a Mom and that I felt repercussions of from my parents (they were AWESOME parents, but they weren’t perfect) – I understand the crux of all parenting: we are human.  We (Parents) are not Jesus and are not perfect.

Bingo.

That awesome thing called grace collaborates with the huge responsibility of parenting to create a vulnerable, praying, God-dependant parent capable of teaching the amazing love and grace of Jesus through their own transparency.

Let’s face it: most of the American culture makes fun of fathers.  (Ever seen the Goofy Salute to Fatherhood?) Even as early as the 1950s when there was still a bit of a patriarchal society present, cartoons and movies started to depict fathers as lazy, goofy, clueless bunglers who often caused more problems than they solved.

Although I laughed along with my Daddy at a lot of these early shots at the masculine father, I understood the bulk of media still left you understanding that the love and bond of a father to child was the glue of a family.  The unsung hero always was the silent sure strength of the God-following Father.

As time inched forward, the media continued to turn the American Father into a non-essential entity.

The opposite is true!

I consider myself a strong, independent woman when it comes to my life.  I am a Christian woman, but one of my strongest battles with myself is submission – first to my father, then to Jesus, and later to my husband.  I know this though…  I CANNOT be the mother I am without the encouragement and support from my husband.

If I had to do motherhood without my husband being my ultimate cheerleader and sounding board, I would have realized how unfit I am about three months into the first child.  I have the ultimate respect for people whose life circumstances have forced them to navigate parenthood alone.  I try to be an encourager to them and help those single parents in any way I can because I cannot imagine myself having that strength.

I am excited to be around my husband!  I was on a softball team (church, yes, I’m an athletic maniac but wasn’t on an actual team until I was in my late 20s and it was just for one season with my church family).  Louis was working sometimes 100+ hours a week for our family at the time.  The company I had just closed.  He’d never made it to any of our games (I took all the kids with me; they loved it and hung out with their friends & some of the church ladies who came to encourage us bounced my baby around).  One day he showed up and I was so excited!  (I was told I squealed like a little girl; don’t remember exactly.)  I love walking with him.  I am excited when we do something as a family – or when he’s going somewhere and says, “hey want to go with me?”  Because I know he likes his alone time.  I get way too much alone time at my office – I relish gym coaching because of the other encouraging women I work for and with and the chattering children I love.  I will chatter way too much sometimes.

Our church sermon was on how Fathers aren’t perfect (only Jesus is) and how their honesty and relationship is their connection with their children.  It’s the way to disciple.  We aren’t perfect, our children aren’t perfect – bingo!  Common ground.

I know how important real, honest, God-fearing Fathers are to the fabric of our family.  I know how hard it is to buck the media’s garbage portrayal of our roles and follow God’s plan instead.  I am so thankful that I have a husband who is pursuing God’s heart.  His passion for Jesus makes him a better husband, a better father, and a better friend.  He helps encourage me to pursue God’s heart.  (Told you I’m competitive.)  He isn’t perfect, but he is constantly improving.  A challenge arises and he rises above it.  He’s always leading in love and with a determined drive that is totally contagious.  His passion for Jesus, life, and family (okay, and sports) is encouraging.

And he doesn’t think he’s “so much” – he compliments and lifts me up consistently.  He makes me feel like I’m doing well despite whatever challenge I feel I’m failing.

At church, we pulled in on Father’s Day (neither of our fathers went to church as adults) and he comments, “wow, church is crowded on Father’s Day.”  Yes, at our church, the culture of encouraging each person to follow God individually, corporately, and in their family is persistent.  (I was afraid we lost that when our previous church folded.)  I am so encouraged that Louis has found a church with a culture of lifting up men as fathers; the vital leaders in their homes, encouraging and holding each other accountable.

Thank you, Jesus, for fathers who choose to take the hard road and follow you; they are raising up the next generation of world-changers.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next later…

~Nancy Tart

Miracles!

May 25, 2019

Miracles!

 I haven’t been writing for my blog often.  I’ve been very busy lately!  (And yes, the picture is an old one, like 4 years ago, but it’s one of my favorites of Becca & Anastasia.)

This past week was totally amazing in how God just orchestrated things to work out for good.

If you’ve been reading, you probably know my little sister has been going through some rough medical challenges.  Read this if you don’t know about it.  (Okay, she’s always going to be “my little sister” to me, even though she’s a very competent adult.)  On Wednesday, my Mom texted me at work (she was playing taxi for Becca) with awesome news!

God had closed up one of Becca’s varicose veins!  But she was already prepped for surgery and had prepaid for it so the Doctor said they’d do the worst vein on the other leg.  That was so amazing!  Actually, they scared her to death before telling her it was good news.  The nurse with the Doppler says “stop talking” and moves the Doppler around with a serious face.  Becca’s heart jumped into her throat.  Then she sets the wand down.  “Let me get the Doctor.” And then Becca had to find her calm place and bite her tongue as they both moved the Doppler stuff around and made comments like “I see it” and “yes, that’s odd.”  Becca said finally the nurse says to the Doctor, “shall I tell her, or do I?” and then they told her it was gone.  They offered, since she was already prepped, to just start in on the other leg (the worst, largest vein) so of course, Becca said yes.

The second miracle happened two days later.  Anastasia has been severely allergic to eggs all her life.  Like so allergic she needs an EpiPen and can’t touch anything that touched eggs.  We have chickens, so you’d think our house was a definite no-no, but we are very diligent about keeping her away from our eggs and washing everything (hands, countertops, etc) to keep any contaminates from her.  And we bake cookies, breads, ice cream, and cupcakes without eggs anytime she’s over.  She’s really good about asking if it has eggs in it.  (Louis picked up a cookie snack from Aldis when she was shopping with us & she asked, “does it have eggs?” so we put it back and Christina made eggless cookies instead.)

Anyway, so much for backstory… at the end of school, the school gives back all medications to the parents.  Normally, that’s on the last day, but they almost gave Anastasia’s EpiPen back on Thursday instead.  Her Dad wisely didn’t take it; he told them her Mom would get it on Friday.

So her EpiPen was at school for the party day.

And that was when she needed it.  She misunderstood somehow and thought the cupcakes were eggless, so she ate one and two bites into it, her body rejected it and it ended with her in anaphylactic shock.  Although she had to go to the hospital, my brave 5-year-old niece recovered fine.  Becca raced from work to get to her.  The paramedics let Becca drive her to the hospital and she was admitted with a “severe level 5 reaction” so the doctors had to observe her in case her reaction returned as the medicine wore off.  (It didn’t.)  The Doctor was extremely helpful and handed Becca his card, which had John 3:16 written on it!

God lined everything up so that Anastasia would have her medicine and get just the right care.

Our family has felt the love of God and amazing miracles in the prayers, support, and love from all of you!  Please continue to keep Becca in your prayers!  I just had to pass along how awesome our week had been in the way God had been letting Becca feel His presence through these challenging moments.

God always has our best.  We give Him our lives with all of our stuff and He blesses us with His constant love and care.  He shows us love and grace and we are the hands, feet, and arms of Jesus on Earth.  Sometimes we are the givers and sometimes receivers.  And sometimes God shocks everyone with something totally unexpected like healing something in our bodies!

Thank you God, for Your warm arms gathering my little sister and her baby in Your tender care!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

Savor Life

We should savor life at every stage!

February 2, 2019

Savor Life

I’m a few weeks or so from giving birth to our seventh little miracle.

Lying in the bed (because of some biological oddities to hit just as this baby started, the cold that normally would take me two or three days to fight is taking a stretched-out time; I’m on day seven) Louis says, “if the afterbirth is harder each time, maybe we should stop with this one.”

I smiled, but since I was lying toward the wall, he couldn’t see.  “I’ve always treated each time as if it may be the last.”

“Really?” I guess this shocked him a little because I love being pregnant, I love the infant stage, I love the growing independence of the toddler stage, I love each and every step so far in this journey.   Although I’m fully prepared for God to say, “this is the last one” sometime, I’m also fully prepared to continue going through this amazing cycle of mothering a miracle.

Yes.

I guess it’s complicated.

See, about the time I was pregnant with Kimberly, I grew a great deal in my understanding of how to allow God to have full control in my entire life.  I thought I trusted Him with everything but realized that I was quietly hoping to have a multitude of children and not really okay with less – or even three.  But I asked myself, “What if God’s perfect number for you is three?”

I began to realize that God’s perfection was not limited nor driven by my wants.  (DUH!)

I decided early during that pregnancy (with Kimberly) that I would savor every second, every feeling, every hiccup, stretch, movement, and challenge that came along as if this were the last time I would carry life.

I already loved being pregnant.  I shared that love with my mother and Louis’ Grandma Honey (she told me once she would have been pregnant her entire life if God had allowed her!).

At that time, I had a shift of my mental state.  Instead of trying to always project perfection, I wanted to savor life with my family.  If this meant not fully finishing with a cleaning chore before we went somewhere, then okay.  If this meant taking a break to look at a cool flower while I’m supposed to be hanging clothes, okay.  If this meant letting someone else watch the kids so Louis and I could go out, then that was okay.  I realized I was trying to follow other peoples’ ideas of what my life should look like and had unconsciously adopted those ideas as “perfection” – and yes, perfection as it was in my brain was never truly achievable!

My stress level fell so much in those few months while I grew Kimberly in my belly and started a new “temp” job.  I may have looked busier, but I felt so liberated!

Even though what followed (from 5-weeks after Kimberly’s birth) was what I honestly believe was the most grueling, difficult 18 months of Louis & my married life, I was able to find a well of thankfulness to pull from when I felt so far down.  Without my new understanding of submitting totally to God’s plan, I would have probably allowed the horrid miscarriage to drag me into the jaws of depression.  I realized even as I cried in the stupid bulk-grocery-store bathroom, by myself, hundreds of miles from home, while I “passed” the fragments of what was once a life I felt and loved, that God had even this time in His hands.  He knew all the whys and I wasn’t to understand them; just to trust Him.

So, fast forward almost 12 years and  here I am lying with this little miracle kicking up a nice sensitive bruise under my right side.  Life in its cycle, totally unexpected, another prime example of God’s timing and perfect wisdom (Click here for that crazy amazing story!).  I’m rubbing on my belly because it makes the Baby move around and react to my touch – and I LOVE that.  I’m playing with this little one before he/she is born!

God has done so much, so many unexpected things that have lifted us up despite the weird, harsh, and unexpected challenges this past year.  God has taught me to savor all life – all stages and parts, from babies and pregnancy to friendships and siblings.  Take time for and savor everything.  There are miracles everywhere.  Yes, I’m okay if this is my last pregnancy and birth.  I’d long ago given all control to God.  I mean, if I trust Him with something so awesome as my salvation and eternal life, how can I not trust His wisdom in family size?

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Thankfulness

Time to reflect: thankfulness

November 21, 2018

Thankfulness

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

Tomorrow is also my 16th wedding anniversary!

The time leading up to Thanksgiving is when I usually reflect on the amazing things that God has done for us.  I often start with how every move in my life led to new experiences that helped build who I am – and the time I wrote in my journal “I’ll move with them one last time.”

That was to Saint Augustine when I was 18.

Just after that move (January 2002) I went to a family reunion where every adult teased me about not having a boyfriend (had never dated) and I remember replying with “in God’s time it will happen.” It was an awesome fun time where I met many relatives and learned many stories about my late grandparents.

January 2003, one year later, I was married, carrying our first child, and working in the town where my husband’s family had lived for generations.  The roots I’d wanted as a child I married into.  I instantly had two amazing grandmothers.  Grandma Jeannette taught me amazing things like crochet and canning food and cooking or preserving local Florida produce.  I loved learning by her side.  Grandma Honey had the most fascinating stories of Cracker life as a young girl and her journey as a mother, wife, and artist (she painted amazing landscapes).

If I had planned my life (as I did in notebooks since being ten years old) it would not have included a 4-month courtship.  I always planned on “knowing someone” for years – generally all the way through 6 or 8 years of university – before marrying.  God had other plans.

I didn’t plan on immediately getting pregnant – married in November and baby’s beautiful face is framed in our wedding cake topper on our first anniversary photo.   God had other plans.

We both planned on having a big family, but then our naïve thoughts of “big” were relative to the world around us – he thought 7 like his grandparents, I thought 7 like my parents.  We agreed early on that we’d let God decide our family size.  I don’t think either of us were truly thinking we’d ever be blessed with 7, maybe 3 or 5; maybe, and that would be “big.”  God had other plans.

Our little blessing growing within me now was totally not “according to plan” as I’d gotten sick and we’d decided it wasn’t a prudent time to start new life.  God laughed; this little one was already growing.  And the hormonal imbalance caused by my reaction to multiple medications which my research said would take 18 to 24 months to reset, was reset by the pregnancy within 5 months.  Although we thought we were planning well, God had other plans.

I love how my life didn’t go according to my “plans” – and I’ve kept diaries since I was ten, so I can look back at plans I made.  I didn’t stop making plans, I am a planner and organizer by nature, but I so love it when God’s plan intervenes and “surprise” life things happen.  I love God’s plans and how they are so different (sometimes) from my “plans” but so reflect my true heart.

From little things like my future sister and I working at the same place at the same time without knowing each other to amazing life events like marriage and births; in each, I see God’s powerful hand.  I’m so thankful for His direction and for the wisdom to allow Him to lead me.

I’m thankful for the ability to keep our family sustained.

We’ve always had jobs.

When one door closes, God always had something else waiting in the wings for us.  Sometimes far different from what we expected, but still awesome.

I was at an interview and someone commented on the variety of jobs I’ve had (Software Developer, Customer Service aka Ride Operator, Bank Teller, Business Office Manager of a Skilled Nursing Facility, Co-owner & Manager of a Transportation Company) – I had to add my recent update to that list as I’m currently a Gymnastics Coach.  His question was what could I bring to this job (food retail)?  Well, each position has taught me new skills and the list proves I can learn anything.

This official job experience doesn’t list that I’m a published author of over 50 books in children’s, educational, and young adult genres!

It’s amazing to me that God found me a job where I can combine my love of teaching, physical fitness, and a childhood dream!  (Gymnastics Coach)  I love the environment in which I work and the people with which I have the privilege of working.  Someone said it’s a step down to go from business owner to working for another small business.  Nope.  Not at all.  I bring a work ethic with me where I understand the challenge of being a small business owner and I always work my job as if it’s my company – even far before I was a business owner.  Ask me, it’s “my gym” – just because I get to work there!

I’m thankful for all the steps along this life journey.  I’m thankful for the people I’ve met along the way.  I remember faces and some names – people like Mrs. Joy up the big hill when I was 8 in Eutawville, South Carolina who baked cookies with my sister and me and gave me my first cookbook.  I remember Grandma Jeanette telling me after I’d been married a year or so, “honey, you were going to be my granddaughter, no way out of it” because she had prayed for me after meeting me at church (before I met her grandson).  I’m thankful for mentors, family, and friends.

I’m thankful for all I see before me; God has been so gracious and generous to me and my family.  We’ve been blessed so very much.

Every time I reflect on the blessings God has given me, I am overcome with gratefulness.  I can’t help but whisper a prayer of thanks.  Even though we won’t be “coming together” for “thanksgiving dinner” on the actual Thursday this year, we’ll get together on a different day with family and celebrate our thanks!

I pray blessings on you and your family as we reflect on all that we can be thankful for!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Number Seven

Yes, ambiguious title and puzzle til the end of a long post…

October 24, 2018

Number Seven

Ambiguous title?  Yes.

Am I being cryptic on purpose?  Yes.

You are supposed to figure out the puzzle from the clues in this story.

(WARNING!  LONG STORY! – and it’s pretty deep because there’s a lot of feelings and thoughts smashed in here.)

Anyway, in April and May, I was in and out of clinics and the hospital because of a severe reaction to black mold.  (I know, crazy, right?)  I researched the medication I was to finish and every side effect possible happened to me (they always do, it’s just my weird, unique biology) so my hair fell out, hormone levels changed, pimples exploded over my face, and various other physical changes happened, I wasn’t watching for anything else.  It was a low period for me because it seemed my favorite parts of my body (long hair, my figure, health) was disappearing.  (Crazy reason to be depressed, isn’t it? After all, I was still alive!)  Although I kept telling myself this would work itself out, and I kept praying and believing God had control of this situation too (He has everything in His hands.), it was sometimes hard to face it without feeling sad.  Especially for me when I brushed my hair and it seemed there was more hair in the brush than stayed on my head.  (Of course, shedding hair means length disappears, so I went from semi-thick long hair that was below my waist to thin few-strands-to-the-middle-of-my-back.)  My hair was something that even as a child I was really proud of.  I’ve never cut it.  I always wanted to have long hair like Lady Godiva (ever seen the version where Maureen O’Hara plays Lady Godiva? I loved that movie because she was a strong, bold woman who loved her people.) and loved the Bible verse that says our “long hair is our covering.”  Plus, Louis likes my hair long. (Yes, after getting married, I thought it would take too much time to have to style short, plain hair so it was cool that my husband liked it long and straight.)

Being that I’m allergic to almost everything chemical (latex, cleaning fluids, pills, antibiotics, the inhaler I was prescribed!, etc.), we pretty much rely on natural family planning and some non-latex help.  Usually, I know my body well.  Part of the side-effects to one of the drugs was hormone imbalance which threw my body off where I wasn’t sure what it was doing.  Not considering it a good time for pregnancy, we decided to hold off on any potential baby-making.  Period.

Oh well, God laughed at that.

Certain things began to reverse during July.  My hair began to grow back (I have one-inch-long sticking-ups all over my head), my figure returned to normal, and other small things in my body seemed to reset.  I was very curious because although I’d been off the huge assortment of “we-don’t-know-what-this-is-but-treat-everything” drugs in the hospital for two months, everything I’d read about the steroid they’d given me was that it took twelve to eighteen months for the hormone imbalance to correct itself and I was still taking one occasionally to prevent asthma attacks.  What was turning my imbalance around?

Yep, God decided to reset my body himself; with a baby.

I love being pregnant, but worried that the drugs I’d been on had effected the child – then relaxed about as soon as I thought about it because if we were trying to keep it from happening (Starting in mid-April with the only 100% sure way), yet God said “haha, you thought you knew this stuff,” He obviously was in charge of baby’s health.

For the first time in my reproductive life, the only “date” I have can’t be.  I keep calendars that are honestly way too detailed, but those dates don’t match with the dates counting backwards.  (Every other time in my life I knew the day/night we came together to start our little blessing!)  Based on these “diary facts” as my girls call them, I can’t figure the time.  (What happened?  The little swimmers had to get through sheepskin & sit around inside of me for eight to ten days?  Really?  If I use the LMP date, that’s what had to happen because after that was nothing. Period.  I didn’t know hanging around inside was medically possible.)

Now, I’m totally enthusiastic about being pregnant (I am one of those crazy women who LOVE carrying life – every part of it); I just am amazed at the mystery of this baby.  I figured you know, I know what protection is, we use planning, and yeah, I get it, I’ve seen women on the pill, using protection, and even two who had their tubes tied get pregnant, so I know anything is possible.

I mean, philosophically we trust all to God’s hands, including family size and timing.  (Or say so, we were technically trying not to get pregnant with the whole breathing and health thing “at least until we moved to a mold-free house”)  But can you say surprised?  Yes.

So, “number seven” is this little precious life growing inside of me!  (Yes, I know most people, including many member of my family, think we are completely nuts, and maybe we are – but we are loving this adventure!)

New job, new baby, surprise!  God says!  Now I have an awesome job I can’t believe I really get to do and seriously get paid for (I love teaching children!) and a new little life growing inside that Lucas can’t wait to wrestle with (he comes and mashes on my belly, talks to “his baby,” and the baby responds by racing around, kicking, punching, whatever inside me).  I’m so excited… what does God have next?  A plot of land we can call our own and a trailer to stick on it or some plot with an old house that needs work – maybe?  Or are Kimberly’s dreams of building our own “movable house” accurate?  Okay, I’m totally open to the next step in this adventure!  (And, yes, I’m fine if that means, “rest, sit tight, you’re in pause mode right now.”)

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

Microscopic Giants

The mind of a fiction writer: microscopic giants marching off to war…

August 26, 2018

Microscopic Giants

“What kind of giants does God mean to fall by your hand?”

That question in church this morning instantly made a crazy mental picture.  I saw the mold spores that constantly attack my body and affect my breathing marching like microscopic Goliaths toward my lungs.

The words of the last praise song caught my mind, “This is how we battle… I may look surrounded but I am surrounded by You (God)…”

So in my mental picture, thousands of bright lights like electric flashes start shooting the microscopic Goliaths and keep them from my lungs.  I imagine my lungs are Elisha and God’s armies are fighting for me.  This is how we battle… with faith, prayer, hope, love; our worship.

Weird?  Silly?  A little of both.  But though it seems trite, it’s what I saw.  Sometimes overactive imaginations and cartoonish images are what God uses to remind us that He is bigger than anything.  It’s easy for me to trust in the big things, but how about realizing that God isn’t too big to take the time to destroy the things we think are microscopic in the grand scheme of things?  I am someone who is quick to think, “Lots of people deal with medical conditions that are far worse than this,” and I discount that my issue is not important enough for God.  Sometimes just because I can use medicines to manage my symptoms makes me think I should just deal with it.  So at times, I will relegate my issues to being microscopic in the scheme of the world.

What is important to us (and yes, breathing unaided is a very important thing to me!) is always important to God.  He says he knows the numbers of the hairs on our head… that in itself is awesome to me.

Thank you, God, for reminding me that You do care for all parts of us.  Thank you for this amazing life, for removing the shackles keeping us from dancing, for giving us hope, joy, and peace, and for giving us a wonderful community to be a part of!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

 

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