Tag: working

Focus on What is Important

What is most important in your life?
What came to your mind? Your career? Your family? World peace? Your children? Leaving your positive mark on society? Your business?

Focus on What is Important

September 10, 2023

What is most important in your life?

What came to your mind?  Your career?  Your family?  World peace?  Your children?  Leaving your positive mark on society?  Your business?

How about Jesus?  For me, when I heard those words this morning (sitting in the Good News Church first service), my mind created a list like words from Jillian’s history and science lesson she has to look up:

Jesus

Family

Showing Jesus to others.

Whatever is the most important in your life directs everything else in your life. 

Don’t believe that?  Seriously.  Consider it objectively.  Whatever you consider most important shapes and directs your life to achieve each step in your life to honor that important thing. 

My mind reflected back to decisions I made as a young person: a lot of decisions as even a preteen are life-shaping. 

I chose to keep myself pure for my future husband. 

I chose to honor my parents and respect them even if I disagreed.

I chose to better myself so I could love my brothers and sisters better. 

Each of these I decided to do because I loved Jesus.  I saw it as my honor to be able to shine Jesus’ light reflected through my life.  I wanted my life to be lived in worship to Jesus.  I wanted people to see that I was different and ask why.  The “preteen/teen” choice that led to me having the most conversations with other teenagers was my choice to love Jesus by honoring His desire for my sexuality.  It was counter-popular-culture to stay sexually pure (yes, as my kids can’t understand, I am young enough that I was laughed at for being a virgin after 18).  I wore a birthstone ring my Daddy gave me on my ring finger and told others it was to remind me that I belonged to Jesus first; He wanted me to stay pure for my future husband.  So many people laughed.  A few asked deeper questions and I would get to share about Jesus and how He loved me first and my joy was to honor Him with all of my life. 

Later, in the business world, I was faced with repeated pressure to falsify information on forms to cut financial corners.  I held my ground and honored God.  When I was told I could choose to either “serve the company” or there wouldn’t be any more hours for me.  I actually told my boss that because I loved Jesus, I couldn’t lie.  The hours available to me dropped to where I would spend more time driving to the office than working; that would have made it a financial burden to work rather than an income.  I was unable to stay.  I often wonder if that choice did any forever good (did my decision or words help anyone see Jesus?); but would I change my decision?  No.  I choose to honor Jesus’ commandments because I love Him.  I get to honor Jesus because He first loved me. 

I pray my children discover that it is an honor and privilege to love Jesus.  We are loved by Him from the foundations of the world.  Even while we were yet sinners, He loved each of us so much that He died for our sins and rose to conquer sin and death!  Because of that, we have the honor of choosing to love Jesus and serve Him with our obedience. 

I looked at little Laud sleeping in my lap and smiled.  I choose to look at every part of loving my babies as a privilege and honor!  I wonder at how blessed I am that God would allow me to raise one of His children!  (Okay, 8 of His children so far) Still, each one is specially loved and was created piece by carefully knit piece by God as they were formed inside me.  God has gifted me the honor of being their mother; one at a time and altogether.  I am humbled, awed, and enthralled by the enormous blessing each child is.  I thank God for them when I think of them. 

Thank you, Jesus, for loving me!  Thank you, Jesus, that I get to love You!  Thank you that I get to love my children!  Keep reminding me of how I should always choose to love You first.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Dating Decisions – Part 2

Learning the focus is on me: Dating Decisions Part 2

September 18, 2020

Dating Decisions – Part 2

My first realization when I started thinking logically about dating came from a series of Christian youth books by Robin Jones Gunn – even “Christian” dating was messy!

I don’t like messy anything. I like clean houses. I like clean living. I like open honest relationships. I hated how, even with people the protagonist wanted to have life-long relationships with, she lied! Or at the least bent the truth! In the books, she always ended up trying to correct those lies and asking for forgiveness, etc. because it was a Christian book trying to teach about doing life as a Christian in our carnal world (and Robin did a great job). I discovered that my idea of “date” was totally 1950s (or maybe even 1800s) and not relevant to the world I really lived in. I found Christian youth of my time (late 1990s) were trying to reinvent what they called “dating” by calling it “courtship.”

I wanted to be best friends. I wanted to get married to a man who was happy doing Pooh Bear’s “nothing” with me and enjoying it. I wanted someone who I was comfortable with. When I looked up the word “intimate” in my ancient dictionary, it said “to know and understand the deepest parts of the soul.” I wanted someone with whom I could be intimate.

The second big decision I made came about at a Christian summer camp where I was a junior counselor. First, a little backstory:

I started seriously working on myself as a preteen. I wanted to be a better sister. The song, “I Want to be Just Like You” by Philips, Craig, & Dean, was my inspiration. I cried so much when I first heard it because I realized my baby sisters and brothers looked up to me. I was actually walking my sleepy 1-year-old sister to get her to bed one night with WKCL on the radio. My mind twisted the lyrics so the he and him was they and them. “I want to be a holy example for their innocent eyes to see…” etc. I cried because I was not a “living Bible” in any sense and I wanted to be that positive role model. When baby Mary was born, I was years into the process of allowing God to change me into a better sister (which later helped me be a better mom).

I am a people watcher.

I am an analyst (like my Daddy).

I would get frustrated almost every time we moved with the hypocrisy and boys I met in youth groups who actively talked about things that shouldn’t be. I got more sexual garbage tossed my way from them than from male coworkers, my Daddy’s younger business associates who thought I was older, and the general guys I met in the feed store! I would approach the various youth leaders (we moved very often and I was always the new kid until I moved a few months later) to address the situation because I did not feel comfortable smacking truth at the various boys. When I started getting mostly, “they are just boys” reactions or laughter or “that’s actually a compliment” (he had tried to touch inappropriately and I moved away and instead he made comments I had to look up the meanings of later), I got seriously frustrated. I would throw my hands up mentally to God and say, “are there seriously any boys actually chasing after You in my generation?” Looking back, I think God just smiled, shook His head at my silly teenage prayers, and would allow me to read an awesome story or see or hear some young man acting out God’s love. It was usually right as we moved away, but always this little drop of encouragement that made me feel like I was not alone in my trying to be a Jesus-following-teenager.

*Side Note* (My girls are showing up to be way bolder than I was – Thank you, Jesus! – and they actually drop truth bombs when someone is doing or saying something inappropriate. That I think is awesome because it is a far better testimony than just stepping away and handing it off to an uncaring third party.)

BUT: my focus regarding dating was still carnal. I was looking at them. I was trying to find “the perfect guy” rather than focus on myself. Sure, I was working on being a better me with regard to siblings, parents, and general truth and study, but I had yet to apply it to all areas of my life. In our culture, we are constantly hit with “finding our soulmate” or “finding the one.” We are focusing on us finding a match. If we are leaving eternal salvation up to God, why not leave matchmaking up to God?

Fast forward to summer camp and I’m 16. Part of being a junior counselor was the requirement to attend 5am to 7am workshops (aka sermons/lectures/Bible studies). I’m listening to one of the camp counselors talk about how he and his wife didn’t start out God’s way and it was messy. His entire program was on not dating someone who wasn’t on equal spiritual footing (aka, DO NOT be unequally yoked to a nonbeliever). Of course, he and his wife ended their story as Christians working to rebuild and repair their marriage and family – but his eyes when he spoke of the wasted years fighting and trying to control each other and using their kids as weapons against each other and divorce and coming back together… those eyes solidified what became my second solid dating decision. I had already written it years before in a community youth group workshop to “list qualities you want in your future spouse,” but now it was not just a “what I want” it was a deal-maker or deal-breaker:

My husband will be a godly man who loves Jesus with all his heart.

And my third decision came at the same time:

I will present myself honestly in all my relationships and make sure any potential date knows I love Jesus and serve Him with my whole heart.

…more on the third decision next time!

~Nancy Tart

Making the Team!

June 11, 2020

Making the Team!

(I know, picture is Kimberly w/Baby Thea, but it’s one of my favorites and this loaner computer wouldn’t load the gymnastics one…)

Kimberly has been working so hard for the past almost two years in the hopes of making the gymnastics team at our gym. 

Well, our gym is recruiting talent for the 2020-2021 season and on Monday night, Kimberly got an invite! 

Talk about excited!

She giggle cried and asked Coach Heather if I was kidding (Heather let me tell her, but wanted to see her reaction) – kidding?  I’m not a practical joker like some of my children may be…

She giggle cried almost the whole way home.

When Kimberly gets excited, she cries with happiness but tries to hide it with giggling.  I call this giggle crying.

We get home and her siblings are all there, Louis comes in right behind us and says, “so what’s the big news?”

Kimberly couldn’t even tell them!  She hid behind the wall in the kitchen and said, “Mom, you tell them!  Hurry up!”

What followed were lots of congratulations, lots of high-fives, and a few teases about how her height is just perfect for gymnastics.  Kimberly is on team!

(And yes, Mom is super excited for her!)

Since I like to use real life to teach, Jillian and I talked the next day about how hard work pays off and used Kimberly’s advance to team as an example.  There are many others to pull from in our family, but that is the freshest achievement. 

With all the things that have been canceled this year, making team has made Kimberly’s year – and as Christina mentioned, “it’s your turning-teenager year too!”

I want to squeal with excitement for her too (okay, maybe I did!) I love it when I get to share in someone’s celebration of reaching a goal! 

Rejoice with those who rejoice! 

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Stepping Back

Stepping Back

February 23, 2020

My little love is one! I’m 37. We both had birthdays this week. This is the first birthday for one of my children that I missed.

I was on my way to a meeting at work when I got two adorable videos from Louis – my littlest baby, looking at her first birthday cupcake Grandma Joanne brought her while everyone sings “Happy Birthday” and her little toes wiggle happily.

I could have let that make me feel really blue. I almost did because I had a rather sour day at work that morning – I’m a perfectionist, should explain everything (right?)

As I watched that video three times, there were two voices in my head:

The first was saying things like: Aww how cute! How sweet that they took a video! She’s having so much fun!

The second jumped immediately on top with: You aren’t there. This is the first birthday cake you haven’t done with any child! You neglect her. You neglect them all. You work too much. You are missing your children’s lives. See how much you miss.

And the second voice doesn’t shut up!

I went through the meeting. That second voice was still screaming in the background on the way back to work: If you had any business sense, you could have been good at Beachbody like Katy, you could be a real author making a living at it, you could have sold makeup, you could still be at home. Why didn’t you…. You could have been… If only…

It boiled down to this: YOU ARE A FAILURE!

But I’m not!

I refocused. I took a deep breath and steadied myself on my way to gym – the voice tried again because my baby didn’t even come to gym on her birthday because Daddy and big sister kept her at home (she was pooped after birthday fun).

I am doing my best.

Most importantly, I allowed myself to step back and look at the bigger picture. That is really hard when voices – your own voices in your head – are screaming at you. Your logic tells you they are accurate! Your emotion agrees with them! All the parenting books you’ve read, teachers you’ve listened to, and “stats” you’ve seen about raising children all tell you the voices – the accusing second voices – are right. BUT NO!

Step back. I stepped back.

For 15 years, I’d been the one at home (yes, working from home too) to see the firsts. With Thea, Louis has been.

He said he loves the baby stage and is so thankful he isn’t missing all of it. He felt like he was never around for the others. I’m so happy he gets to be home in the morning/early afternoons in this season!

I had an awesome relationship with my Daddy. I want that for my children, especially my girls; for them to have an awesome relationship with their Daddy. Louis gets to spend more time with them.

I stepped back.

We have joint goals. We have family goals. A house that means a new start for us – rooms for everyone and more than 4 feet of counter space in the kitchen! We are accomplishing that!

I stepped back.

I LOVE my family, and they know this. Just because I work two jobs in this season doesn’t change that. We both got to go to Christina’s first University tour! (That wouldn’t have happened with other jobs!) We both get to go to the gymnastics show in May. We all get Sundays together as family days (that has never happened in our family lives – service industry doesn’t give up weekends!).

I took another deep breath. The accusing voice had stopped. This was because I started to mentally pray: thank you, Jesus, for this season of life you have us in. It may be hard, it may sometimes seem like too much, other people may think it’s too much, others may judge, my logic might be telling me it’s not a good place… but I am SO grateful for the season I’m in right now! I pray for guidance daily and until God says “let it go,” I’m holding on to the gifts (jobs) he’s given us. Thank you!

If your inner voices are ripping you apart…

Take a deep breath. Steady yourself. Step back. PRAY. Be grateful for what you have and pray for wisdom on what to allow to let go.

Listen to God’s heart.

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Fatherhood

June 17, 2019

Fatherhood

So, you know this huge thing called “Fatherhood?”

What comes to mind?  A parenting book I read when I was twelve (yes, oldest sibling perks!) said something like “the child’s view of God as a Father is directly impacted by their experience with their Earthly Father.”

Yes. So true.

I went into parenthood knowing this. (Songs like “He Wants to be Like Me” reaffirmed this giant responsibility.)

A Father is often the humor of the family too – in the photo, Louis had climbed to the top of the stump and challenged “Come Get Me!” … notice all the kids following!

Despite the failures that I’ve made as a Mom and that I felt repercussions of from my parents (they were AWESOME parents, but they weren’t perfect) – I understand the crux of all parenting: we are human.  We (Parents) are not Jesus and are not perfect.

Bingo.

That awesome thing called grace collaborates with the huge responsibility of parenting to create a vulnerable, praying, God-dependant parent capable of teaching the amazing love and grace of Jesus through their own transparency.

Let’s face it: most of the American culture makes fun of fathers.  (Ever seen the Goofy Salute to Fatherhood?) Even as early as the 1950s when there was still a bit of a patriarchal society present, cartoons and movies started to depict fathers as lazy, goofy, clueless bunglers who often caused more problems than they solved.

Although I laughed along with my Daddy at a lot of these early shots at the masculine father, I understood the bulk of media still left you understanding that the love and bond of a father to child was the glue of a family.  The unsung hero always was the silent sure strength of the God-following Father.

As time inched forward, the media continued to turn the American Father into a non-essential entity.

The opposite is true!

I consider myself a strong, independent woman when it comes to my life.  I am a Christian woman, but one of my strongest battles with myself is submission – first to my father, then to Jesus, and later to my husband.  I know this though…  I CANNOT be the mother I am without the encouragement and support from my husband.

If I had to do motherhood without my husband being my ultimate cheerleader and sounding board, I would have realized how unfit I am about three months into the first child.  I have the ultimate respect for people whose life circumstances have forced them to navigate parenthood alone.  I try to be an encourager to them and help those single parents in any way I can because I cannot imagine myself having that strength.

I am excited to be around my husband!  I was on a softball team (church, yes, I’m an athletic maniac but wasn’t on an actual team until I was in my late 20s and it was just for one season with my church family).  Louis was working sometimes 100+ hours a week for our family at the time.  The company I had just closed.  He’d never made it to any of our games (I took all the kids with me; they loved it and hung out with their friends & some of the church ladies who came to encourage us bounced my baby around).  One day he showed up and I was so excited!  (I was told I squealed like a little girl; don’t remember exactly.)  I love walking with him.  I am excited when we do something as a family – or when he’s going somewhere and says, “hey want to go with me?”  Because I know he likes his alone time.  I get way too much alone time at my office – I relish gym coaching because of the other encouraging women I work for and with and the chattering children I love.  I will chatter way too much sometimes.

Our church sermon was on how Fathers aren’t perfect (only Jesus is) and how their honesty and relationship is their connection with their children.  It’s the way to disciple.  We aren’t perfect, our children aren’t perfect – bingo!  Common ground.

I know how important real, honest, God-fearing Fathers are to the fabric of our family.  I know how hard it is to buck the media’s garbage portrayal of our roles and follow God’s plan instead.  I am so thankful that I have a husband who is pursuing God’s heart.  His passion for Jesus makes him a better husband, a better father, and a better friend.  He helps encourage me to pursue God’s heart.  (Told you I’m competitive.)  He isn’t perfect, but he is constantly improving.  A challenge arises and he rises above it.  He’s always leading in love and with a determined drive that is totally contagious.  His passion for Jesus, life, and family (okay, and sports) is encouraging.

And he doesn’t think he’s “so much” – he compliments and lifts me up consistently.  He makes me feel like I’m doing well despite whatever challenge I feel I’m failing.

At church, we pulled in on Father’s Day (neither of our fathers went to church as adults) and he comments, “wow, church is crowded on Father’s Day.”  Yes, at our church, the culture of encouraging each person to follow God individually, corporately, and in their family is persistent.  (I was afraid we lost that when our previous church folded.)  I am so encouraged that Louis has found a church with a culture of lifting up men as fathers; the vital leaders in their homes, encouraging and holding each other accountable.

Thank you, Jesus, for fathers who choose to take the hard road and follow you; they are raising up the next generation of world-changers.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next later…

~Nancy Tart

Reset, Again

Resetting the brain of a PS2 inspires me… really?

November 10, 2018

Reset, Again

In the last blog (Proper Burial) I mentioned that Rebeccah likes to tinker with stuff.  She often fixes electronics when we think they are broken.

She had our playstation 2 unit scattered apart on the table (for the 5th time).  After hours and her final conclusion of “I have no clue what’s wrong with this thing!” she decided it was truly trash.

She always puts the garbage electronics back together like they were supposed to be – search me as to why (maybe because I once told her that sometimes resetting something was all it needed to come back to life) but she claims “a proper burial” for broken electronics is with the item totally back together.

So after Rebeccah put the Playstation 2 console back together for its “proper burial,” it now works.  (It was bought used and had a short since day one, sometimes the CD tray got stuck, and lately it would just choose to die.)  For days, that console has been working great.  She reset it back to “original” after cleaning every part in it and it has new life!

I’ve been considering that for some time.

Sometimes God wants us to close the doors on something old and leave it buried.  Sometimes he wants us to reset it.  Maybe what we’re resetting isn’t so much the item as it is our way of thinking.

The playstation console’s brain just needed all the dust cleaned out, everything disconnected and reconnected, and the source of power reset.  Yes, this was the 5th time!

Maybe we need to allow God to reset the way we think – clean all the garbage out of our brain and connect all the synapses to what we’re supposed to think about (remember, whatever is good, just, lovely, think on these things?) instead of dwelling on misfires like our failures… hmm.

Is that a lot to think about because I saw the inside of a playstation brain cleaned and now it works?  Maybe.  But I like to analyze things… maybe I analyze stuff too much.

I try to allow God to renew my mind daily.  (He says each new day is fresh in Him.)  Thinking about the things I see in life (like a silly piece of electronics) working according to God’s design helps me think that all things obey God.  (I know, silly, but if it helps me be encouraged, maybe it will help someone else!)

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

Awesome Job

God’s Timing is Perfect!

October 22, 2018

Awesome Job!

Louis and I operate a small business that pretty much shrunk from seventeen co-workers to one in the span of four months starting about two years ago.

Since just before then (I’m an analyst, I did see that we would shrink due to changing marketplace), I’ve been applying for various jobs all over in any industry I have experience for or my degree fits with.  I’ve been turning in applications for almost two and a half years.  Nothing.  That’s rather tough for my ego, but hey, I had a three-inch binder with book and article rejection letters that kept coming for fourteen years before my first book was traditionally published.  So I can say I’m used to rejection!  (Honestly, when it came every other job I walked into the business and three of the four was hired on the spot, the fourth I was called back that week – so it was a bit frustrating being well-qualified but not getting any offers.)

I answered an ad that I almost didn’t.  I knew the lady who owned the business, so I knew I would like working for her.  Although the ad was for a gymnastics school, it did say “no gym experience,” and when I arrived, I was asked if I liked working with children.  I LOVE teaching and working with children; I’ve taught and worked with children all my life – literally oldest sibling of 7, volunteered at schools, churches, and groups since they would let me (10), student taught, tutored, and I have 6 children.

The idea of teaching children a sport and getting paid for it is totally amazing!  I consider myself active, so a job where I’m working out a bit while teaching is perfect.

It’s really cool when God’s timing ends you at a place you know you’ll love being, a boss you know you’ll enjoy working for, and the schedule you’ll have really doesn’t mess with anything you already do!  (The girls’ college classes are during morning or early afternoon, we can still pick up Anastasia, it doesn’t change my ability to work early AM shuttle rides, it doesn’t interfere with the farm or schooling, and we can still  do weekend craft sale events and church!)

Bonus was that I didn’t have any workout pants, but the weekend before I started training, my brother and sister brought us bags of clothing and in them were three workout pants and socks!  So I didn’t need to spend money to start!

God’s timing is always perfect and sometimes what plops on your radar isn’t what you thought you would get, but it’s just perfect for you!  This job is almost too good to be true for me.  I’m going to get paid to teach children a fun  sport on a schedule that works with my family’s lifestory… Amazing!

I’m feeling so blessed and a bit awestruck.  Thank you, Jesus!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Follow me!

Get my latest posts delivered to your email: