Category: Mothers

Growing Young Women

December 28, 2023

Growing Young Women

It struck me with a text I sent: I have the littles at gym with me

I had Jillian, Lucas, Thea, and Laud.  

Half of our “biggers” are actually adults.  That’s a strange place to realize I am at.  I paused a moment, glancing at my phone on my work desk.  The notice underneath my text went from “sent” to “read” and I smiled.  I thanked God for the honor of having so much time with my growing young women.  I thanked Him for getting to mother so many of His children.  (My heart reminded me that we get them for a short time.) 

I don’t want to think about that.  

My heart loves that they love to do stuff together.  Like when they got a “big girl trip” for their combined birthdays.  Such happy faces!

Now we are nearing the end of Rebeccah’s winter break. (I didn’t want to think about that, either.) Soon those giggles across the table at meals, board games, and roblox and minecraft shenanigans, the gamer shouts from the newly re-setup PS1 and Xbox in the playroom, and the kitchen laughter will again be missing our Rebeccah.  I am so thankful for her beautiful life!  I love the connectivity and humor she brings.  I miss her when she’s gone.  I thanked God for Rebeccah.  I pray she will always choose to talk to me when she needs to.  I pray I am keeping our communication open.  I pray she chooses wisdom. 

Kimberly and Jaquline go back to their respective schedules (as does everyone else) and move forward in their busy study, work, and training lives.  Kimberly recently found a friend who encourages her in faith and sports commitment; a very good thing for her at this time.  I thanked God for Kimberly.  I pray she chooses wisdom as she keeps moving toward her long-term goal of studying sports medicine or physical therapy.  She has such a heart for healing (and preventing injury) and an intuitive understanding of how the body works.  

Jaquline has recently started to focus her studies on law and debate – her new goal is to be a lawyer.  She does have a way of getting people to see merit in her direction.  I laugh sometimes at her logic.  She has such a wonderful attitude about life and her cheerfulness is catchy.  She takes the responsibility of helping raise children so seriously – she assists in the nursery and I often hear her say “my babies.”  She has a helpful heart and wants to see everyone treated fairly.  I thanked God for Jaquline.  I pray she continues to seek God and chooses wisdom in her life’s path.

Christina, our first with a Bachelor’s degree, is stepping forward toward her career.  She continues to live with us.  I am so thankful that she stays close.  I feel honored that she chooses to keep talking with me. I thank God for Christina.  I pray she seeks God in all aspects of her life.  I pray she chooses to chase her dreams and grab opportunities that arise.  I pray she chooses wisdom and can live with no regrets.  Christina has a mothering soul.  Her determination and ambition have served her well so far!

I love all stages of our family life.  Today I’m grateful for being able to watch our little girls grow into vibrant young women.  I am thankful I still get to be a part of their lives.  I am reminded that just as we can contain multiple emotions at once, our homes can contain multiple stages at once.  Thank you, Jesus, for the honor of being a mother.  

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

As Happy As your Least Happy Child

As Happy As your Least Happy Child

A time-warp story from June 21, 2023

At church I heard something that made me laugh and shake my head.  The laugh was total irony.  It was a stab of truth.  “You are only as happy as your least happy child, and if you have a quiver full, sometimes you may be both happy and sad at the same time.” 

I laughed inside because the three days before this Sunday and that particular morning, I had been feeling stabbed repeatedly by three teenagers.  Periodically the younger ones would take turns deciding to pretend to be just like them and that was not encouraging.  

I wondered about that saying.  When the girls wound my heart with unthinking words or “mean” things, I have to remind myself of something I learned a while back that helps: people tend to show their innermost feelings like aggression, anger, desperation, irritation in a place they feel safe because humans in their deepest parts fear rejection.  When they know you won’t reject them or stop loving them, they feel safe and as such, end up showing their “worst side” to you.  

I understand that their sharp words or actions are reflecting something hurting them.  I will often try to find that something; usually not at that time as experience has taught me that when I say, “are you okay?” or “what’s bothering you?” when they are upset, I usually get a snapped, “nothing!” or “you!” which doesn’t help.  I’ll often try to broach the “what is hurting you?” question in a less explosive time.  Sometimes, it’s something small that felt huge at the time.  Other times it’s something that needs more discussion.  

But always, when I they hurt my heart with words, I pray for theirs and now remember something else: it is true that my smile can be on for Thea and I’m happily talking about her make believe lego world while we build our respective houses but my heart is sad because I know the “snap” was really something hurting their heart.  So yes, there’s a part of my heart that is always feeling the hurt from my least happy child even though another part is engaging with smiles at another – sometimes there’s four or five of us in a game yet one’s hurting; I totally feel those “both feelings at the same time.”   

I wondered about God and how we hurt his heart yet He always loves us.  He knows when we are hurting but unlike mothers and fathers, who don’t always know what is in the heart of their child, God knows our heart and sees everything within us.  Thank you, God, for loving us!  Thank you for giving us a heart for our children!  

Thank you for reading.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

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