Tag: talk

Don’t Wait Until “Later”

Life is an adventure: Life it to the fullest everyday!

Don’t Wait Until “Later”

Time Warp Story from – September 13, 2023

Have you ever heard (or maybe even said) “I’ll just wait until later.” 

I heard it often from a couple I knew when I was younger.  They said it about getting married.  I loved them dearly and wanted them to go to heaven.  I asked him once about Jesus and he laughed and said he’d think about it later.  I saw his life of serving others and prayed he loved Jesus.  She said she loved Jesus, so I knew I would see her in heaven.  Once, (probably very tired of a child’s repeated question) he said they would get married when I did.  He died a month to the day before I was to get married.  No, they never got married.  “Later” never came for that. 

I’ve heard friends say “later, when we have enough money,” or “later, when I’m settled in my career,” or “later, when life slows down,” etc.  But those “laters” never come and “enough” is never “enough.”  Life speeds by without seeming to care.  Road bumps happen.  Sadly, I watch as life unfold, oftentimes things or experiences people want get lost and turn into regrets. 

I heard so many regrets from elders as I was growing up that I determined I would consider future regrets whenever making any decision. 

Start a flock of chickens with my babysitting money when we finally had land?  Yes! (Learned I loved farming – didn’t regret that choice)

Stay in Kissimmee on my own or move with my family?  After praying about it and feeling a “nudge” to “move just one more time,” I chose to move “just one more time.” (To Saint Augustine, 22 years ago – I met Louis here and started my family and yes we have lived in the vicinity of Saint Augustine for those whole 22 years.) Regrets? No!

Decide to marry the first guy I dated three days after our first date?  Yes!  (I said “decide to marry” not “get married to” – we were engaged 15 days after our first date and married 4 months later.) November makes 21 years.  Regrets? No!

Start our family on Christmas Eve a month into marriage?  Yes! (Even though everyone thought we were crazy) Regrets?  No!  Our little amazing first married Christmas gift will graduate from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in less than 3 months. 

So many decisions we’ve made; some good, some bad.  There are only three I can think of that I seriously “regret” happening and one was back when I was 12. 

We can’t go backward, only forward in life.  This is why I always ask the girls when they are making a big decision (job, college, sports, life) – will you regret not doing this?  Will you regret taking that path?  Those are the questions I want them to think on. 

I challenge you to ask yourself: if you are being led to do something and you tell yourself and God, “later” for whatever reason, ask this: “Will I regret not doing/trying this later?”

If you are telling yourself you’ll do something “later” or “when you have enough” of something: ask yourself if you will regret not doing or trying whatever that is. 

A line from a movie I like says “a train won’t wait” and I’ve always translated that to be, “life doesn’t wait.”  My Daddy said we should live life with no regrets.  God gave us only a certain amount of trips around the sun and only He knows how many.  We should use those trips to serve God in everything we can without waiting for “later” and “enough.”  Have fun in your experience!  Enjoy this amazing life God has given you!  Don’t get stuck in any ruts waiting for “later.”  Pray.  Jump out of your comfort zone and see where life takes you!  One young woman I met as a missionary said she felt God calling her to be a missionary but thought, “later, after I finish college,” but her father advised her to just go!  She went!  She said it was the best decision of her life and continued to bring her boundless joy and she met so many interesting people and shared Jesus’ love with dozens of children at each place she was sent (she was part of a missionary team who traveled and her job was to put on hand-puppet shows for the children).  She discovered that she had a gift for learning languages and spoke more than 20 after three years in the field!

Love with everything you have.  Be joyful and thankful! Live life with no regrets! 

Thank you for reading.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

As Happy As your Least Happy Child

As Happy As your Least Happy Child

A time-warp story from June 21, 2023

At church I heard something that made me laugh and shake my head.  The laugh was total irony.  It was a stab of truth.  “You are only as happy as your least happy child, and if you have a quiver full, sometimes you may be both happy and sad at the same time.” 

I laughed inside because the three days before this Sunday and that particular morning, I had been feeling stabbed repeatedly by three teenagers.  Periodically the younger ones would take turns deciding to pretend to be just like them and that was not encouraging.  

I wondered about that saying.  When the girls wound my heart with unthinking words or “mean” things, I have to remind myself of something I learned a while back that helps: people tend to show their innermost feelings like aggression, anger, desperation, irritation in a place they feel safe because humans in their deepest parts fear rejection.  When they know you won’t reject them or stop loving them, they feel safe and as such, end up showing their “worst side” to you.  

I understand that their sharp words or actions are reflecting something hurting them.  I will often try to find that something; usually not at that time as experience has taught me that when I say, “are you okay?” or “what’s bothering you?” when they are upset, I usually get a snapped, “nothing!” or “you!” which doesn’t help.  I’ll often try to broach the “what is hurting you?” question in a less explosive time.  Sometimes, it’s something small that felt huge at the time.  Other times it’s something that needs more discussion.  

But always, when I they hurt my heart with words, I pray for theirs and now remember something else: it is true that my smile can be on for Thea and I’m happily talking about her make believe lego world while we build our respective houses but my heart is sad because I know the “snap” was really something hurting their heart.  So yes, there’s a part of my heart that is always feeling the hurt from my least happy child even though another part is engaging with smiles at another – sometimes there’s four or five of us in a game yet one’s hurting; I totally feel those “both feelings at the same time.”   

I wondered about God and how we hurt his heart yet He always loves us.  He knows when we are hurting but unlike mothers and fathers, who don’t always know what is in the heart of their child, God knows our heart and sees everything within us.  Thank you, God, for loving us!  Thank you for giving us a heart for our children!  

Thank you for reading.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Encouragers: The Lady Who Smiles

The Lady Who Smile. Never underestimate the power of your small gesture!

Encouragers: The Lady Who Smiles

October 3, 2022

Some days you just need to be encouraged.  Most often, you don’t realize how important this encouragement is to your mood until someone does encourage you.  As Christians we are admonished to be encouragers.  As iron sharpens iron, we are to help each other: build each other up, edify, support, and speak truth in love. 

There’s a sweet lady who serves as a greeter at our church.  Her smile is absolutely beautiful.  The power of truth in her joy radiates from this smile to warm your heart as soon as you notice her standing at the doorway.  She always says good morning and is far better with names that I am as she often greets people by their first names.  (I try to be good with names, it’s something I’m training myself to do, but I often mix up my own kids or call moms by their daughter’s names and quickly attempt correction by saying, so-and-so’s mom – who am I kidding?)

I was feeling rather low this particular Sunday morning.  A lot has been pressing down on my heart lately – mostly financial, but then, that is a constant mental fight for me.  It goes something like this: Look how poor you are; you can’t even go to xyz (one of the girls’ gymnastics meets, a sister-cousin’s party, a group trip to some amusement park, etc.).  You didn’t send them to Passion Camp this year.  You don’t even own a house.  Such a failure, your dream was stability for your children so they would have a home.  You left a good-paying job… twice.  You chose less and your children pay for it by having to work for the things other kids just get. You have to eat what the food bank gives you.  You pick up underwear from a giveaway group! How selfish can you be to work where you enjoy rather than in a career that would provide better for your children? 

I fight that with: I am so thankful for fellow gym moms allowing my girls to carpool and enjoy their friend-time. They enjoyed sister-time this summer.  God has provided a house for us where my dream of family being close is a reality!  I am chosen by God.  I chose family and integrity, respectively.  My children value the things they have to work for and as they understand the concept of having to work for a gift they give, they appreciate every gift they get more!  God supplies our needs each week.  I’m so thankful for my hand-me-down giving and receiving friends and the Buy-Nothing group!  I have my dream job and am so super thankful for it; A Christian boss who allows me to bring my children when needed, we work schoolwork at the front desk, we’ve relied on work internet for accessing schoolwork courses and even the renting of our home more than a few times, my girls all have had an awesome first job experience, I work for family!

At those times when my mind is a mental battlefield and I force myself to dig deep into thankfulness (I think or speak my “I’m thankful fors”), a little encouragement goes a long way.  Just the fact that the smiling lady at the church doorway remembers my name correctly and can connect me with my girls (who beat us there, again, even though we left first!) gives me such encouragement!  When she says something like “you are such a good mother!” and I can feel the truth in her compliment, it is all I can do to respond with “thank you” and not cry.  I’m so grateful to God for the currently uncountable times the sweet lady has lifted my mood and encouraged me – I end up thanking God for her and that He knows my mental battles.  He knows that small gesture means the world to me. 

I walk in, I worship, I walk out, and usually I feel invisible.  That’s okay to me on the surface because it is so challenging for me to approach someone because I’m so scared of messing up with social interaction with other adults.  It’s the walk to the church gym that makes my head rise – I’m so totally ready to serve children.  Put me in front of children and I’m super confident!  (mom, coach, kid’s ministry assistant, leader, etc.)

I know how much a small bit of encouragement helps me so when God touches my heart to say something to another adult, I have been listening lately.  A compliment, a congratulations, a mention of how well-behaved their child was, encouragement that they are doing a good job as so-and-so has accomplished xyz goal… That is so super hard for me as a human!  I can only encourage other adults because Jesus gives me strength! 

(If you ever reflect on my interactions with you and you have a child I know, notice I often talk to the child first?  Yes, I’m so much more comfortable starting with the little ones!)

My challenge to myself is always to listen to God’s nudge of a quiet voice and offer encouragement to whomever He leads into my path.  I make it my challenge to you.  Encourage.  Even a smile and “Good Morning!” goes a long way sometimes!  I’m speaking from my own personal experience.  What you are really saying to that person is “I see you.”

Thank you to those who serve as greeters at our Good News Church!  Thank you for those who know my name!  Thank you for making me feel seen.  Thank you for encouraging me and helping me pass that on and encourage others.  If you are an encourager; KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!

Thank you for reading,

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Judgments

What do you instantly presume based on a look? This cup, for example:

January 7, 2021

Judgments

It starts with this cup:

Judgement – instantly you either love or hate me, but you also immediately assume I spent $3 to $5 on the “coffee” I’m drinking.

Actually, I’ve never bought Starbucks. This cup? Well, I’m love my meal shake “cafe latte” hot and I’m a mom so that means 10x trips to the microwave… this cup’s predecessor two years ago was green and white and was perfect for the serving size and microwavable!! I hate waste. That green and white cup was destined for the trash… I saved it, sanitized it, and used it for almost 14 months. This cup was also someone else’s discarded trash.

Now, knowing that, you are either grossed out that I take trash, wash it, and claim it, saying “better you than me,” or you are applauding my penny-pinching way of getting exactly what I want and saving the landfill at the same time.

Isn’t it crazy how we judge?

Someone in the food bank line driving a really sweet immaculate older model Jaguar wearing a tailored suit jacket, $400 eyeglass frames, and a Rolex. You can choose to judge, “what is he here for?” or “he could sell the car (watch, frames, jacket) for money,” or whatever thought because you feel he shouldn’t be there.

Step in his shoes. Did you know he’s a former businessman whose life savings went into a dream business in fall of 2019 – just a small operation that employed 27 people. His jacket? It’s the same one he wore to his retirement party years ago. He has sold all the others. His eyeglass frames? Those were his late wife’s. He gets his prescription put in them for sentimental reasons. His Rolex look-alike? Inscribed with “to my love; come home safe; Christmas 1969” he received it in the spring of 1970 in Vietnam. His car? He takes care of it and cleans it himself – he’s had it for 22 years. The dealership won’t even give him $500 for it without locking him into a new loan he can’t afford; it is a cheap used car. He chooses to keep his employees at work but is falling deeper and deeper in debt so yes, he stretches his food budget with the weekly box from the food bank.

Have you ever read “To Kill a Mockingbird?” That book is an excellent tool for teaching you how to always treat everyone with kindness and consideration. Atticus teaches his children, and the reader, how not to make hasty judgments. Jem actually judges people and in his thoughts and conversations with Scout, he professes what Scout is thinking; they learn how their quick surface judgments are most often wrong.

Since I’ve read that book as a youngster, I decided to leave the judging to God. I strive to treat everyone with kindness. I strive to kick the judgmental thoughts from my mind before they affect my heart or bleed into my words.

Another great book for that end is “The Shack.”

In both instances I referenced, the book is far more poignant than the film, but the films do a decent job of getting the point across.

Treat others with kindness. Leave the judging to God. He alone knows the heart. Can our sour swift judgments harm? Yes. If we are to be the feet and hands of Jesus, we also need to speak his words to others and in our own hearts. When we allow own hearts to be poisoned by our own sour thoughts we allow ourselves to make hasty judgments, in turn we make poor decisions and usually harm others. We are putting a stumbling block in front of them! This is not how we are supposed to love.

As parents, we also need to avoid making hasty judgments about our children. We may know their hearts, sure. But what good can come of judging without listening? Always ask. Always talk. Always be available for them to speak to you. Your children do know your heart based on what you have shown them during their life – they need you to be a safe place for them to express feelings and emotions and speak troubles. This needs to start from the beginning and continue even when it is hard.

My father was always open where I could talk about anything with him. He guided me through dating and the first few weeks of engagement, he encouraged me to search for character traits, gave me logical wisdom as I relayed scenarios and answers, and offered questions for me to ask that led my fiancé and I into deep discussions where we discovered each other’s hearts. We came to understand our religious, political, family, and deep convictions through soul-baring conversation and intimately know each other.

I am forever thankful for the few months of guidance that led me to understand my future husband. I wanted to be someone my children could come talk to without fear, like my father had. I hope my children always understand that my love for them will never change. I will try to guide them. I will listen. I always try to listen first. I have a fix-it mentality though, which makes it a struggle to just listen when I care about someone and want to help them.

I have to learn, still, that people don’t always want help. They want ears to listen to their heart.

This is treating others with kindness.

Avoiding preconceived judgments (back to my iconic cup).

Listening without judging.

Praying before speaking.

Hearing without repeating (aka no gossiping).

Loving as Christ does.

If I am to be His hands and feet, I need to be his ears and mouth as well. I need to leave judging to God.

(Hope this encourages you as much as writing it encouraged me.)

~Type at you later.

~Nancy Tart

Failing to Compare

July 23, 2020

Failing to Compare

Do you know what I hope I fail in? 

Seriously.  I’m super competitive by nature.  I had to teach myself that trying to “be my best” is a different thing than being better than someone else. 

I had to fail at comparing. 

What are we at, 8 billion people on the planet?  Each one of us has a unique set of circumstances, challenges, goals, cultures, and opportunities.  How can we possibly compare ourselves to each other?

Simplify: we do it in our own heads even if people don’t for us. So we have to learn not to compare in our own heads too!

Your child is acting out. 

From people who may or may not know you comes the onslaught: “that’s because you work,” “that’s because you stay home all day,” “that’s because you are too busy,” “that’s because you never go on playdates,” “that’s because you have him around too many children,” “that’s because you have him in vpk,” “that’s because you home school,” “that’s because your mom ate Wendy’s Frosties with French fries while carrying you…”

And it goes on and on!  They give you reasons to blame yourself or your situation for the child crying in the grocery cart.

You know, mentally, it’s been a long day or he just woke up and the bright lights hurt his eyes or he’s teething or maybe he flat out doesn’t want to be in the store today but you let the judging start in you.  Now you blame yourself. 

One child is independent at 6: he wakes up before the rooster crows, does schoolwork without prodding, makes healthy food if there isn’t a ready meal, dresses himself and three younger siblings and feeds the dog before you have your coffee.  Another is 13 and you can’t trust him with the dog for three seconds, he never does anything without you doing it for him, you bought him sliders and gave up on shoelaces decades ago, and it scares you that the government thinks this kid can climb into a 2-ton vehicle in less than three years and turn himself into a human projectile at 70mph+.  (Exaggerated, I know, but still!)

You find yourself blaming you and your circumstances for how your kids are. 

Stop it!

Mommy, your kids are fine!

They have their own unique personalities and the unique way God set in them from when they were knit together in your womb!  Your job is to help them find their way.  It’s a really cool study to really research the Hebrew on that passage you know, “Train up a child…” the word way there means “the traits that are his” we might say his personality, likes, and dreams.  Dig into that one more when you have time – awesome study. 

ANYWAY!  Back to your mind yelling at you and beating you up because your children are different.  Different than you, different than your spouse, different than their siblings, friends, teammates, schoolmates – YES! They were all made different.  Each a beautiful masterpiece God is still carefully crafting with His own hands.

That independent child?  We lead and guide and pray they choose to ask for help when they face something that looks difficult – we’d rather them not make the same mistakes we did.  (Waving my hand, I was that independent child and humility was/is a challenge for me!)

The 13 year old that seems lazy and unproductive?  Watch what falling in love with a sport, subject, or animal will do for him.  You turn around and that one is buying books on said subject, devoting hours, days, whole weeks lost in it, suddenly you blink and he’s that subject’s walking encyclopedia – then if you listen you’ll discover that was always there, he studies one thing at a time and shoelaces, school deadlines, and things that didn’t interest him just didn’t get any attention.   

When you feel like your brain is beating you up because of your parenting, your situation, and your children not being “perfect,” remind your brain that no one is perfect.  There are no perfect children.  (Okay, be honest, you aren’t living in a Jewish village 2000 years ago watching Joseph and Mary parent Jesus – my brain wouldn’t have shut up watching a real perfect kid!)

You can’t say to yourself, “I did xyz” regarding a child’s personality unless you are using that as a tool to ask yourself, “how do I help him overcome this?”  Because yes, I know, going through financial instability, parents going to work or coming home, changing schools, changing neighborhoods, losing family members, that all does contribute to the development of personality and psyche in a child (or in an adult, am I right?) so understanding is good to help more forward – but the best way to help is to LISTEN.

Sit with them when you can – vehicles are normally good because they are trapped and can’t go anywhere.  And ditch the devices.  Unless you are parenting long distance, look in their eyes and listen with your whole self.  It doesn’t have to look like two adults over coffee at a Barnes & Noble, either.  Think like them.  You can be playing a video game with your kid and have deep conversation.  You can be building duplo blocks and get the scoop on everything in his little heart.

Listen to them.  Ask them prodding questions about their thoughts, their dreams, their goals, and what things have impacted them.  You will learn a lot.  Let them speak as much as you can.  You lecturing the same stuff becomes listening to a broken record.  You need to hear them as much as they need to talk to you.  Learn their hearts.  If you forget stuff sometimes like I do, WRITE DOWN important stuff and file it away somewhere.  That way when you want to know your daughter’s favorite color you don’t have to text her sister.

Fail to compare.  ALWAYS choose not to compare.  If you hear them saying “at least I’m better than so-and-so…” ask why they feel that way and then tell them how each person is unique.  If they want to be better at something, encourage it!  But don’t compare with others.  They don’t know “so-and-so’s” full heart story.  (Side note on that is let them read “To Kill A Mockingbird” or watch the Gregory Peck film version.) Don’t compare.  Especially don’t compare siblings!

Choose to change what you can (only yourself and the environment you create) and accept what you can’t (the personality of others and situations you have no control over).

Do your best in the environment you have.  That is all we can do.  Mothers for millennia have been doing just that – wars, famines, massive global flood, cultural and political changes, pestilences, and economic booms and busts notwithstanding, Mothers continue to do their best for their children.  

Fail to compare.

Instead of tearing each other down, we should build each other up.  We should provide safe environments for each other to come, talk deeply, and gather advice.  We live helping each other because we know the power is not in comparing ourselves with another but with helping each other up.  We need that type of love.  We need to build each other up instead of compare and break down.  Our children see how we treat others when they are near and when we are alone – character is what we say and do when no one is watching.  Build up.  Encourage.  Instead of judging someone else, rejoice with them or encourage them.

This is for our own children too.  Build them up, encourage them, rejoice with them, pray for them, and lead them in their own unique and special way.

If you catch yourself comparing yourself to another or your children to each other or another’s child… Stop.  Instead, choose to encourage or rejoice.  Your heart will smile more and that will show on your face and in your attitude – this causes joy in your heart!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

He Walked With God

He Walked With God

February 25, 2020

In our church Sunday, the pastor spoke about how Enoch was one of his heroes because he was remembered as one who “Walked with God” by faith. I thought about that.

In my life, there are several people no longer here whose legacy includes: “they walked with God.”

Am I living my life so that part of my legacy will be: “She walked with God?”

What does walking with God look like right now?

My translation is that it means we communicate openly with God. We listen as well as speak when we pray. We remember to ask God’s direction in everything in life – jobs, moves, vehicles, routes for the day, etc. We have a type of open communication where we speak to God as if He were a very close friend. Don’t you have friends whose advice you seek out when making decisions? God should be primary in such things.

One of the ladies I was privileged to know once told me that she “breathed in God every morning to start her day off right.” She woke at 5am every day and had her coffee outside on her little porch or in her garden. She talked about God like He was a very close friend. All of her stories included “so after praying,” “after discussing it with God,” “well, I asked God but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear,” etc. She lived life full and open. She was far from perfect, but she wanted to be as godly a woman as she could be.

She ran her race and finished strong.

Examine your heart and see: are you in a close friendship with Jesus? Would you say that you ask His advice first? How do you interpret “walking with God?” Are there mentors or friends in your life, here or in heaven, who you would say “walked with God?”

Thousands of years after he died, Methuselah is remembered for having the longest recorded life, but Enoch, who lived about 1/3 of the standard lifespan at his time, is remembered for “Walking With God.”

What will you be remembered for?

Thank you for reading,

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Songs and Movies… How can that make me cry?

Why does she cry? Even she doesn’t know, but the right song or movie certainly can start it.

February 6, 2019

Songs and Movies…

It has almost been two months since my Daddy passed.

I can’t find it to cry, normally.  If I think about crying, I remember how happy he is in heaven.  Then crying feels selfish – because I know he was in pain every day here.

But sometimes, I can’t explain it.  And it’s always a song or a movie.  And even that doesn’t always make sense.

I was coming home from work one early afternoon and on comes “Small Town Southern Man.”  No, that wasn’t my Daddy, but the core of the song “…He bowed his head to Jesus… always loved one woman, was proud of what he had… he said his greatest contribution was the ones he left behind…” Yes, that was my Daddy.

I was bawling when the next one happened to be “Love Without End, Amen” – which yes, didn’t need any alteration and went all the way to heaven.  I’m glad my car has cruise control and I’ve been driving 207 for over 20 years.

A song.  A movie. (okay, this one was crazy)   Never saw it with my Daddy, but he had given it to us.  Annapolis.  A story of a determined young person getting to his goal – my Daddy liked stories with real character.  At the end of the film, Louis comments, “I know why your Dad liked that one.” And that was it.  Not that anyone else saw, but I ended up tearing up over the simple thought that I can’t ever discuss this film with Daddy.  It had so many side stories and threads woven this way and that – prime film material for our long-drawn-out discussions.

Whenever something makes me want to cry, I remember the silliest of song lyrics/movie lines and it’s really odd that those four lines remind me of Daddy because he didn’t like that movie. (I’m not a fan or having that one on continual repeat, either.)  “He lives in you.”  And, yes, my mind sings it.

I’m thankful for memories.   I’m thankful for times when I hear my Daddy in my siblings and children – just things he often said or quirky humorous lines.  I almost cried when I first saw my little brother in his new glasses with the hat and stubbly beard – because if the beard were a bit longer, that is how I remember my Daddy (from when I was a toddler) and my little brother is a spitting image (face) of my Daddy.

I feel sad that Daddy won’t see Teddy or Thea (our Baby, named after his/her great-grandfather Pearson) but I know I’ll keep “Living the Legacy” (another song… yes) and just like the girls don’t “remember” their Great-Grandmother Jeanette yet they know her love and life through us, my children will know their Grandfather Pearson’s legacy because it’s in us – and my extension, also in them.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Dropping In

Lack of my technological connection device led to some deep thought… and a fun visit!

October 29, 2018

Dropping In

I think we’ve all become too preoccupied with technology in many ways.  It invades our lives and sometimes, rather than bringing us closer together (as it was originally meant to do) it appears to spread us farther apart.

Does anyone else remember being a kid and just dropping over to your friend’s house, knocking on the door and asking whatever adult came “may so-and-so come play?”  Today’s youth have their parents text or call said person.  (Or they call/text if they have a phone.)

We’ve lost the connectivity of just dropping in.

I ended up without my phone the other night (had given it to Becky because the house she was babysitting at didn’t have a land line) and wanted to go visit with a friend.

Heavens to Betsy!  I couldn’t text or call her!  (We don’t have a land line phone either – and it wouldn’t have helped me if we did as I saved her number in my phone!)

Could I just stop over?  Drop in?  Did people even do that?  Isn’t that considered rude?

While digesting these thoughts, I realized God was still nudging me to go visit (God had put her on my heart when I was on my way to work – and yes, with no phone) regardless of my lack of ability to warn her of our approach.  (Yes, we are like being descended upon by a flock of chattering geese; all six of us this time because Becky was babysitting and Louis was working.)

As I drove the few miles to her house, my mental debate continued:  I am the type of person who loves to visit with people – they can drop in any time I’m home as long as they don’t mind the almost constant state of dishevel in my home.  We live in it, and unless you catch it on Saturday in the first hour after deep cleaning or after 9pm on a regular night, my house will have sporadic hair on the floor from shedding people and pets, a few cups loitering on the table and counter, dishes in the sink, clean clothes either in a bucket or half-folded on the couch, books and art materials on the dining room table, and toys that aren’t always in the toy room.  But my family lives in my house.  So if you come unannounced, expect it to look lived-in.  If you show up on a planned visit, it will likely be “company clean” (aka, we just scurried around like frightened chipmunks to make it as presentable as possible considering the time of day).  I reasoned that I would just pop by before unloading everyone and if they were busy, if she was resting (she gets precious little sleep), or they weren’t up for company, we’d just deliver the job-related news and enjoy the drive back home.

She was excited we had come!  (Surprise!  I knew we were sisters!)  We unloaded and spent a few hours chatting, playing, and enjoying each others’ company.  We actually talked about this very thing.  She remembered people dropping by her parents’ home almost every day when she was growing up.  They would bring a pie or dish, join for lunch or supper, and enjoy a visit or the rest of the day together.

I dropped by on Grandma Jeanette at least once a week; I knew her schedule and knew she would enjoy the visit.

But with everyone else I’ve felt like everything has to be planned.  It feels impolite to just drop by and bring a gift or deliver some news in person rather than over the digital airwaves.

God knows our hearts.  He knew I would really go and knew my friend wanted some adult conversation (who am I kidding? so did I), it was part of His plan that we fellowship together and encourage each other.

We, as people, need that.

We, as Christians, need that.

We were not made to live in isolation.  Our overly busy world with unrealistic expectations tried to shove aside our human need for simple fellowship – time spent together without an agenda.  Just quality time invested in each other.  Dropping in and feeling comfortable in each others’ spaces.  This is when we do not judge each other by the state of one another’s home but choose to invest in the state of one another’s hearts.  Yes, most of my events with other people will still likely be planned, but I no longer feel restricted to just planned meetings!

I am so thankful for friends that are my sisters.  (Or sisters who are best friends!)  Those who I don’t feel obligated to race around and worry about what they will think of the shoes that didn’t make it to the shoe shelf or the train track loaded with every rolling vehicle we own running from the playroom down the hallway into the living room or the dishes that someone is currently washing.  I am thankful for the freedom to be me around them.  I love being real.  I love feeling accepted as me.  I enjoy learning from those around me.

Thank you, Jesus, for true friends!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

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