Don’t Wait Until “Later”

Life is an adventure: Life it to the fullest everyday!

Don’t Wait Until “Later”

Time Warp Story from – September 13, 2023

Have you ever heard (or maybe even said) “I’ll just wait until later.” 

I heard it often from a couple I knew when I was younger.  They said it about getting married.  I loved them dearly and wanted them to go to heaven.  I asked him once about Jesus and he laughed and said he’d think about it later.  I saw his life of serving others and prayed he loved Jesus.  She said she loved Jesus, so I knew I would see her in heaven.  Once, (probably very tired of a child’s repeated question) he said they would get married when I did.  He died a month to the day before I was to get married.  No, they never got married.  “Later” never came for that. 

I’ve heard friends say “later, when we have enough money,” or “later, when I’m settled in my career,” or “later, when life slows down,” etc.  But those “laters” never come and “enough” is never “enough.”  Life speeds by without seeming to care.  Road bumps happen.  Sadly, I watch as life unfold, oftentimes things or experiences people want get lost and turn into regrets. 

I heard so many regrets from elders as I was growing up that I determined I would consider future regrets whenever making any decision. 

Start a flock of chickens with my babysitting money when we finally had land?  Yes! (Learned I loved farming – didn’t regret that choice)

Stay in Kissimmee on my own or move with my family?  After praying about it and feeling a “nudge” to “move just one more time,” I chose to move “just one more time.” (To Saint Augustine, 22 years ago – I met Louis here and started my family and yes we have lived in the vicinity of Saint Augustine for those whole 22 years.) Regrets? No!

Decide to marry the first guy I dated three days after our first date?  Yes!  (I said “decide to marry” not “get married to” – we were engaged 15 days after our first date and married 4 months later.) November makes 21 years.  Regrets? No!

Start our family on Christmas Eve a month into marriage?  Yes! (Even though everyone thought we were crazy) Regrets?  No!  Our little amazing first married Christmas gift will graduate from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in less than 3 months. 

So many decisions we’ve made; some good, some bad.  There are only three I can think of that I seriously “regret” happening and one was back when I was 12. 

We can’t go backward, only forward in life.  This is why I always ask the girls when they are making a big decision (job, college, sports, life) – will you regret not doing this?  Will you regret taking that path?  Those are the questions I want them to think on. 

I challenge you to ask yourself: if you are being led to do something and you tell yourself and God, “later” for whatever reason, ask this: “Will I regret not doing/trying this later?”

If you are telling yourself you’ll do something “later” or “when you have enough” of something: ask yourself if you will regret not doing or trying whatever that is. 

A line from a movie I like says “a train won’t wait” and I’ve always translated that to be, “life doesn’t wait.”  My Daddy said we should live life with no regrets.  God gave us only a certain amount of trips around the sun and only He knows how many.  We should use those trips to serve God in everything we can without waiting for “later” and “enough.”  Have fun in your experience!  Enjoy this amazing life God has given you!  Don’t get stuck in any ruts waiting for “later.”  Pray.  Jump out of your comfort zone and see where life takes you!  One young woman I met as a missionary said she felt God calling her to be a missionary but thought, “later, after I finish college,” but her father advised her to just go!  She went!  She said it was the best decision of her life and continued to bring her boundless joy and she met so many interesting people and shared Jesus’ love with dozens of children at each place she was sent (she was part of a missionary team who traveled and her job was to put on hand-puppet shows for the children).  She discovered that she had a gift for learning languages and spoke more than 20 after three years in the field!

Love with everything you have.  Be joyful and thankful! Live life with no regrets! 

Thank you for reading.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

As Happy As your Least Happy Child

As Happy As your Least Happy Child

A time-warp story from June 21, 2023

At church I heard something that made me laugh and shake my head.  The laugh was total irony.  It was a stab of truth.  “You are only as happy as your least happy child, and if you have a quiver full, sometimes you may be both happy and sad at the same time.” 

I laughed inside because the three days before this Sunday and that particular morning, I had been feeling stabbed repeatedly by three teenagers.  Periodically the younger ones would take turns deciding to pretend to be just like them and that was not encouraging.  

I wondered about that saying.  When the girls wound my heart with unthinking words or “mean” things, I have to remind myself of something I learned a while back that helps: people tend to show their innermost feelings like aggression, anger, desperation, irritation in a place they feel safe because humans in their deepest parts fear rejection.  When they know you won’t reject them or stop loving them, they feel safe and as such, end up showing their “worst side” to you.  

I understand that their sharp words or actions are reflecting something hurting them.  I will often try to find that something; usually not at that time as experience has taught me that when I say, “are you okay?” or “what’s bothering you?” when they are upset, I usually get a snapped, “nothing!” or “you!” which doesn’t help.  I’ll often try to broach the “what is hurting you?” question in a less explosive time.  Sometimes, it’s something small that felt huge at the time.  Other times it’s something that needs more discussion.  

But always, when I they hurt my heart with words, I pray for theirs and now remember something else: it is true that my smile can be on for Thea and I’m happily talking about her make believe lego world while we build our respective houses but my heart is sad because I know the “snap” was really something hurting their heart.  So yes, there’s a part of my heart that is always feeling the hurt from my least happy child even though another part is engaging with smiles at another – sometimes there’s four or five of us in a game yet one’s hurting; I totally feel those “both feelings at the same time.”   

I wondered about God and how we hurt his heart yet He always loves us.  He knows when we are hurting but unlike mothers and fathers, who don’t always know what is in the heart of their child, God knows our heart and sees everything within us.  Thank you, God, for loving us!  Thank you for giving us a heart for our children!  

Thank you for reading.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Conquistador Classic 2023

#2023 #Family #Gratitude #Gratefulness #WGVGymnastics #WeAreFamily #SilverTeam #PlatinumTeam #ConquistadorClassic2023 #Fun #Gymnastics #MeetSeason2023 #Pictures #Thankful #Volunteer #Volunteering #LocalMeet #StAugustine #Florida #ILoveMyGymFamily #Encourage

January 23, 2023

Conquistador Classic 2023

The Conquistador Classic is our annual local meet!  It happens in Saint Augustine less than ten minutes from our gymnastics facility and most of our team parents and siblings volunteer there.  The insanely long driveway from the welcoming “World Golf Village” stone marquees on either side of a beautiful bridge over a ditch across from the Costco/Bucees light is one of the most stunning natural tunnels to drive through.  Large oak trees with scattered spanish moss touch branches together over the well-kept roadway.  Yes, when this Florida writer pens, “tunnel,” it means treetops over the road.

Jillian is competing Xcel Silver this year.  Her WGVG team took 3rd place!  She loves her team sisters and gets super proud of what they do – I hear all about Olivia’s amazing floor or how straight Sera’s form was on bars.  She got to volunteer after her meet as mom was carless at work & Grandma had to start work before Jillian’s meet was complete.  (All Photos are thanks to my amazing fellow Silver Moms!)

Kimberly is competing Xcel Platinum this year.  Her team is much smaller than it’s been in previous years.  She loved volunteering at her home meet this year.

One of our observing grandpas said, “I couldn’t tell our girls apart out there with all the matching outfits and hair – they all look alike!”  I love that!  We have matching leotards and warmups and an absolutely stunning (and fun!) hairstyle that I think makes them all look so professional.  One of my favorite parts of watching a meet is when the team steps forward and waves at their introduction – the girls are all smiles and glowing faces! (see “Introduction wave” in photos above)

I can’t help but get excited for them when meet season is on.  They travel, enjoy their teammates’ company, show off what they’ve been learning, and encourage each other.  Competition brings challenges that my girls have different feelings about.  Jillian loves the spotlight.  Kimberly gets nervous when she sees me watching her in practice.  Jillian gets a little goofy in front of a crowd, she’s working on that.  Kimberly overthinks and freezes, she’s working on that.  Like everything in life, there are challenges to be faced: time management (like planning 15 minutes of traffic delay for every hour of travel), overcoming nervousness (no freezing and looking stern, and no goofy giggling and going limp like a noodle), encouraging others and finding joy even when you haven’t had the best day (keep smiling and no complaining or blaming), getting up and doing it again when you fall (I was so proud of Kimberly in the first meet – she got back up and finished the beam skill), always doing your best in that moment, always having fun with the breath you’ve been given!  

I get to see Kimberly’s third meet!  It’s a Sunday in the early morning – which means mom & Kimberly & tag-along car ride to Kissimmee.  I love hanging out with my kids!  Long car rides are perfect because we have nothing better to do than play road games, talk, or car karaoke along with favorite songs.  (I’ve learned some newer songs this waylong car rides and PNO are the only reason I know all the words to every Descendents song)

I get to see both of their fourth and fifth meets!  We’ll all be riding together for the fifth one because it’s on the same day for both of them.  I’m excited to do meet hair!  (Crazy, I know, but I love it!)  I choose to enjoy every breath I’ve been given, wonder in every moment I get with them, and encourage them to whatever they want.  

Lots of crazy off-road travel for this writer’s brain today… but back to the amazing local meet that Grandma got to watch (because, it’s local!)… 

I pray for their hearts to be edified and encouraged by their coach and teammates.  I pray they are the lights to encourage and edify others.  I pray they always smile and enjoy what they love.  Kimberly loves “being in the air” and Jillian loves anything fast and strong.  

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

First Meet of the 2023 Season

Meet Season 2023 here we come! Long car rides, friendship bonds, encouraging teammates, and even little brothers stinking up the car…

January 20, 2023

First Meet of the Season

On January 12th I was working, but Jillian was on a long car ride down to Tampa with her teammate (I love the bonds our team sisters get!) to rest up for a 7am arrival at her first meet of the season!  

First off, I was coaching so my ten-year-old actually left the gym without even telling me bye!  No wave, no nothing, just run out with Kate and load her stuff in her friend’s mom’s car and go.  (My mom-self wasn’t sure what to think of that – but, I do raise my kids to be independent.

Secondly, I’m so thankful for my other Silver Moms at WGV Gymnastics!  Our girls practically live together and they love each other like sisters!  They do so much together.  We moms help look out for each other – even if its texts like “I4 is a nightmare, take xyz exit and get off” or how to navigate the strange new parking garage.  

This meet, I wasn’t physically there.  So two of my friends were sending me videos, pictures, and scores!  Did I mention how blessed I am to have my Silver teammate moms?

Louis drove Kimberly down for her 1:30pm time.  They left at 9:30 with a very exuberant Lucas.  His choice was “go to gym, do open gym, then come home and hang out with Becky and play video games” or “7 or 8 hours stuck in the car.”  Lucas squealed with delight and said, “7 or 8 hours in the car with you, Daddy!”  (My Mom heart almost exploded on that one… although I do know he really just wanted to fart Kimberly out of the car and eat everything on any billboard he could talk Louis into stopping for.)

Jillian got to watch Kimberly (she got dropped back off at the meet for Louis to drive her home).  Louis was giving me a play-by-play.  

Pictures because why not?  (all photo credits are either Kate’s Mom or Saedi’s Mom)

Fun memories and challenges!  I love the start of Meet Season!   *Actually, today, Jillian and Kimberly are at the Conquistador Classic (our local meet, yippee!) one competing and the other volunteering.  Jillian will finish the day volunteering after she’s done showing everyone how much she loves gymnastics.  Can’t wait to see pictures from this one!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

What Fantastic Thing Are You Expecting In 2023?

I heard talk show hosts on the radio ask each other, “what fantastic thing are you expecting in 2023?”
Instantly, my mind says…

(Delayed Publish: Written January 3, 2023)

What Fantastic Thing Are You Expecting In 2023?

It’s the start of a new year!  

I heard talk show hosts on the radio ask each other, “what fantastic thing are you expecting in 2023?”  

Instantly, my mind says, “obtaining property we can build our home on.” 

Other things follow quickly: An exciting competition season for my two gymnasts (their first meet is Jan 13!), Christina’s graduation at the end of the year with her Bachelor’s from Embry, an edifying college year for Becky at PCC, Kimberly conquering her fear of tests, Jaquline turning 13 and getting her first debit card, Lucas learning to read, having chickens again, growing our own food again, getting a cover made for and publishing my CheyneAnne story, getting illustrations for the childrens’ books I’ve written… my mind just kept going with things I consider fantastic and am super excited for.  

My prayer is that this year is one of spiritual growth for my children as we make fun memories.  

I want my focus to be eternal rather than temporal.  

I completed Kimberly’s journal just before Christmas and gave it to her.  I hope that little book is full of treasures for her.  I pray over each page I write that God will direct my mind and hands to pen just what will be important or reaching for the heart of the daughter I’m writing the journal for.  

I am expecting miracles in our everyday lives.  God always gives them.  Fresh breath and lungs that work.  Beautiful painted sunrises and sunsets.  Have you ever thought of how much a miracle it is that we can see?  I’m overwhelmed by the everyday miracles that grace our lives.  

What fantastic thing am I expecting?  Life.  Full, abundant life as God has blessed us with!  Love.  Family.  Enjoyable times.  Memorable Moments.  A careful listening heart with which to catch the amazing wonder of these miracles and enjoy them as they happen.  

I’m praying for a heart of gratitude more than ever before.  I plan to focus on being grateful.  That should totally help my perspective!

What fantastic thing are you expecting in 2023?

Think about it… and Smile!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Mary Did Know, Do You?

Sometimes I may think too deep
#2022 #Family #HistoricalThoughts #DidMaryKnow #DidMarysMotherKnow #RaisingGodsKids #ChildrenAreAnHeritageFromTheLord #Psalm127_3 #SpeakLife #ChooseTruth #TheyAreWatchingYou #MotherhoodIsAnHonor #FatherhoodIsAnHonor #Reward #Gift #Blessing #Love #ShePonderedInHerHeart

December 31, 2022

Mary Did Know, Do You?

I read a post today that said “Mary may have known, but her mother did not.”  

That hit me.  We sing the song “Mary Did You Know” which I love, but always mentally I remind myself that the Bible tells us “Mary pondered these things in her heart” regarding the Angel’s visit, the visits of the shepherds, magi, the Angel’s message for them to flee, even the time when they lost Jesus in the temple.  She was constantly pondering.  Considering, probably praying, “God, direct me.”  She knew what responsibility God had given her.  

But her mother?  Mary was favored by God.  Her mother must have brought her up in the wisdom and admonition of the Lord.  The whole post was about this – Mary did know, her mother did not.

Don’t we all know?  I mean, not that every one of us carries Jesus or looks as the Creator of the World in our arms and ponders it in our hearts… but each of us who are mothers have carried at least one little child – don’t they all belong to God?  

I remember looking at my firstborn: tiny, beautiful face and long eyelashes, strong little fingers with a tremendous grip, perfect tiny toes, I drank in every little detail of her sweet, fragile body.  We prayed over her because we knew she belonged to God.  Even her name was a promise from us; Christina Elizabeth means “Believer in Christ, Servant of God,” it was our promise that we would do our best with the few years God gave her to us.  

Each little one afterward I’ve felt the same utter joy and overwhelming responsibility.  They are God’s kids, not mine.  I get the honor of mothering them and we get to raise them; pointing them in the right direction.  Our prayer is that they take on the responsibility for their relationship themselves and continue to grow in grace and love.  

Mary did know what honor God had given her.  Mary’s mother knew only that she was raising a daughter of Israel, a girl who would become a woman.  I imagine that all mothers whispered in their hearts to their daughters before Christ’s birth, “live true, child, it may be you through whom the God of our Fathers chooses to bring the Saviour of the World.”  I imagine that Mary’s mother’s mother whispered the same thing to her.  They lived in the wonder of hope and faith.  They believed in the future reality and each prayed she would be the girl given the honor; each woman didn’t know if their daughter may be the one chosen by God, but they chose to raise their daughters to be wives and mothers to honor God.  

They heard or read as we still do, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” ~Psalm 127:3  Children are a blessing, a reward, a gift God gives us to give back to Him. 

No, we do not know what plans God has for our children, but we can pray for their path and lead them to an understanding of God’s love.  We are all entrusted with raising our children for a time, but they all truly belong to God.  

Thank you, Jesus, for the honor of motherhood!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Life Goals

December 28, 2022

Life Goals

I continually reevaluate my “life goals,” if you want to call them that.  

Core has always been to love Jesus, pass that on to everyone I can touch, and show love when I can.  The additions have changed a little:

Pre-twenties, I wanted to be a wife, mother, and teacher.  Did that.  Am living that.

Twenties to mid-thirty: The only earthly thing I wanted for my children was a home they all grew up in and family roots.  I failed at that. Life teaches you lessons and you hope to pass on the results so they don’t fall into the same trap.

Thirty-three and beyond, I only want my children to love Jesus in a true life-long relationship; I’ve learned that everything in life beyond relationships is just temporary.  

Lately, my older children have made comments in passing that really cut to my heart.  The first year I didn’t unwrap a gift from you.  (Her gifts were too large to wrap & smaller things were in her stocking.)  Wow, they’ve lived there like 12 years, that would never be us.  (We did have a home for 14 years, just moved to two different places during that ownership to help other people for seasons.)  You don’t give me stuff like the other girls’ moms.  (No, I can’t give anyone a brand new car as they get their license, a new laptop, the latest phone, gaming systems, etc.  I provide you with opportunities to save for those things and decide their value yourself.)

Those things and other assorted in passing comments have made me delve into self-examination for the past couple of months.  I can’t talk to my Daddy about it, praying feels one-way, a memory pops up of Louis’ accident last year and the days of challenges and miracles, I feel like I’ll never dig us out into property that is our home (though I keep reminding my doubt that I left that in God’s hands, the doubt keeps trying to come in), people I know whose children I know are dying from poison, I pray daily for those I know who are affected: my life feels useless as I feel like I can’t do much for anyone.

This morning I saw the evidence of a life well lived.  My entire perspective changed. 

There was a young woman in a beautiful wedding dress beaming a smile holding onto the arm of an elegant man in a suit.  Their faces shone with love.  The photo was a portrait size and in black and white; aged scores of years. You could feel their love.  Two candles on either side of the little table below the portrait.  Mementos and memories on the table; he had passed away before her.  It reminded me of my mother’s tribute shadowbox for my Daddy.  Her home was full of framed pictures: children and grandchildren in various smiles and grins.  A few in the midst of laughter – those cherished candid photos that you keep even if they aren’t the best quality.  Worn rocker.  Stockings.  A Christmas tree.  An open Bible.  Her faith and the relationships she had cultivated radiated from each well-worn book, devotional, and study guide on that little bookshelf. My writer’s brain wondered how many of those books she or her husband had bought and then passed around. How many grandchildren had heard stories from that Children’s Bible with the bent binding?  Children told her goodbye: that they loved her, they didn’t want her to leave, that they would see her later in heaven, one told her to give daddy a kiss from her.  

That is a life well-lived.  

Her children loved her enough to keep taking care of her at home; like Mom did for Grandma Jeanette.  Don’t ever put me in a nursing home.  Because of love, they sacrificed and made it happen that they cared for mom at her home so she could die in peace.  Her face showed that peace.  

That is a life well-lived. 

I was so overwhelmed with emotion for that wonderful woman I didn’t know.  Grandma Jeanette told me once to “live with no regrets” which I also remember from the lady who gave me my first cookbook.  She’d been married four times and raised five boys.  Her life story was how to gather things and make stews and build add-ons to her house and save people from storms on the lake.  Her sons all passed on her faith; I played with her grandchildren and they were the first group of children I’d met who talked about Jesus like a close friend like my family did.  She wrote “God will bless your life, let Him lead,” in my cookbook cover (I was 7 years old).  She died shortly after at 90-something.  

That is a life well-lived. 

Live with no regrets.  Love without reservation.  

My goal is to allow my children to see Jesus through me, to trust Him in everything, to do my absolute best to shine His love wherever I can.  

Life doesn’t have to be long to be well-lived.  I consider the life I’ve already lived to be amazing.  I thank God for each day He’s given me.  For the challenges we’ve overcome as a family, for the health miracles which are the reason my babies and I are here, for the protection over my daughters’ hearts as they allow it, for the relationships we have with each other.  Those I’ve known for seasons who are friends like sisters and brothers in my heart.  Growing those relationships as best I can even when life is “too busy” and time is challenging; that is a goal. 

Live with no regrets.  Love without reservation. 

I was 12, she was a beautiful frail girl with a rapturous joy of life and Jesus and family when we met her.  She shared her love with everyone without caring what they thought.  If someone stared at her bald head, she would approach them and say, hi, how are you today? And try to show them love and happiness.  She came to our house probably because we treated her and her sister just like we treated anyone else; we played with them, swang with them, took them for canoe rides, fished on the shore while she braided flowers, played with our chickens and dogs together, told stories to each other, and otherwise enjoyed life.  She lost her battle with cancer shortly afterward, but I couldn’t cry.  She was home with Jesus like she talked about all the time.  She told us we had to still play with Danielle.  As long as we lived there, we did.  I still love Erica and Danielle like they were my own sisters; since we were sisters in the faith, we are sisters. 

That is a life well-lived. 

He was his sisters’ baby doll.  He protected everyone.  He was loved by everyone.  He knew who needed to hear and in turns shared his faith and struggles and love with them.  His smile told you everything you needed to know; he was genuine.  He died protecting those he cared about.  His legacy is the love and relationships left in the hearts of those he loved and who loved him; and the relationships they created when coming to celebrate his life.  He was my brother’s friend.  His family and mine were intertwined in so many relationships through many seasons of our lives.  

That is a life well-lived. 

My perspective shifted.  It set me back on the track that my brain keeps trying to veer me off of.  My true life goal is to shine with Jesus’ light: to make strong relationships, to build into people, to share my faith, to encourage others, to help when I can, to do my very best to love as Jesus does.  And in Jesus’ time, when my story on Earth is finished, I will go home and those I love will see a life well-lived. 

Right now, I’m living my life well-lived!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Turtles In The Kitchen

December 3, 2022

Turtles in the Kitchen


It had been one of those days.  You know, when you begin to question everything, your brain shouts accusing bits at you and highlights every choice you’ve made since infancy, and your biggest challenge is to find something joyful to think on or something to be grateful for.  

Jillian, Lucas, and Thea to the rescue!

“Mom! Where is Jillian?” cries Thea with a giggle.

“I’m a green turtle!” days Jillian’s muffled voice from under the green bin.  

A simple little rubbermaid bin.  It started life in our house about 14 or 15 years ago as a toy-bin because someone gave it to us with junk in it, a broken handle, and no top.  We sanded the broken plastic and put big toys in it.  At this location (smaller house, so smaller toy room and no space for it), it is our pantry dump bin; usually it contains baggies, extras that need a box like soaps, random cables, an occasional box that’s too big for the shelf, etc.  Since Halloween, it had been used to set everyone’s separate candy/treat buckets inside and had been atop the refrigerator.  This morning I had moved it to the floor with the intention of wiping it out and putting it back in the pantry. 

Instead, it ended up being a turtle shell over Jillian!  

Lucas and Thea were laughing so hard, “look, you can’t see her toes!”  and “Mom!  Jillian’s a turtle with a hard shell!”  And Lucas banged drums on the shell. 

Grandma has a red plastic bin she had just emptied that normally has decorations in it.  

“Mom!” I hear a scream-yell from the kitchen.  

“Look!” Yells Thea as she pulls the red bin over her head, “two turtles!” 

“Two turtles!” Yells Lucas from the other, (Jillian is guiding Thea Turtle around so she doesn’t hit anything as she race-crawls around the kitchen)

I smile at so much fun from imagination and two silly plastic bins.  Thank you God, for imagination!  Thank you God, that you know my heart and send these little angels to make me remember that I just need simplicity to smile.  My mood shifted from fighting my accusing brain to enjoying my children’s joy.  He uses the simple to confound the wise.  In the still small voice.  All of Creation shouts His praise.  A child shall lead them.  All these sayings pound in my brain to drown out the accusations.  

And now the turtles are a “turtle sandwich” to which one of my teenagers said, “mom, that’s something else” and giggled. (Someone has been reading their Biology book.)

Three turtles to the rescue!

Sometimes it’s a pretend turtle in the kitchen that can bring you joy!  Thank you, God, for the blessings you have given us!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Encouragers: The Lady Who Smiles

The Lady Who Smile. Never underestimate the power of your small gesture!

Encouragers: The Lady Who Smiles

October 3, 2022

Some days you just need to be encouraged.  Most often, you don’t realize how important this encouragement is to your mood until someone does encourage you.  As Christians we are admonished to be encouragers.  As iron sharpens iron, we are to help each other: build each other up, edify, support, and speak truth in love. 

There’s a sweet lady who serves as a greeter at our church.  Her smile is absolutely beautiful.  The power of truth in her joy radiates from this smile to warm your heart as soon as you notice her standing at the doorway.  She always says good morning and is far better with names that I am as she often greets people by their first names.  (I try to be good with names, it’s something I’m training myself to do, but I often mix up my own kids or call moms by their daughter’s names and quickly attempt correction by saying, so-and-so’s mom – who am I kidding?)

I was feeling rather low this particular Sunday morning.  A lot has been pressing down on my heart lately – mostly financial, but then, that is a constant mental fight for me.  It goes something like this: Look how poor you are; you can’t even go to xyz (one of the girls’ gymnastics meets, a sister-cousin’s party, a group trip to some amusement park, etc.)You didn’t send them to Passion Camp this yearYou don’t even own a houseSuch a failure, your dream was stability for your children so they would have a home.  You left a good-paying job… twice.  You chose less and your children pay for it by having to work for the things other kids just get. You have to eat what the food bank gives you.  You pick up underwear from a giveaway group! How selfish can you be to work where you enjoy rather than in a career that would provide better for your children? 

I fight that with: I am so thankful for fellow gym moms allowing my girls to carpool and enjoy their friend-time. They enjoyed sister-time this summer.  God has provided a house for us where my dream of family being close is a reality!  I am chosen by God.  I chose family and integrity, respectively.  My children value the things they have to work for and as they understand the concept of having to work for a gift they give, they appreciate every gift they get more!  God supplies our needs each week.  I’m so thankful for my hand-me-down giving and receiving friends and the Buy-Nothing group!  I have my dream job and am so super thankful for it; A Christian boss who allows me to bring my children when needed, we work schoolwork at the front desk, we’ve relied on work internet for accessing schoolwork courses and even the renting of our home more than a few times, my girls all have had an awesome first job experience, I work for family!

At those times when my mind is a mental battlefield and I force myself to dig deep into thankfulness (I think or speak my “I’m thankful fors”), a little encouragement goes a long way.  Just the fact that the smiling lady at the church doorway remembers my name correctly and can connect me with my girls (who beat us there, again, even though we left first!) gives me such encouragement!  When she says something like “you are such a good mother!” and I can feel the truth in her compliment, it is all I can do to respond with “thank you” and not cry.  I’m so grateful to God for the currently uncountable times the sweet lady has lifted my mood and encouraged me – I end up thanking God for her and that He knows my mental battles.  He knows that small gesture means the world to me. 

I walk in, I worship, I walk out, and usually I feel invisible.  That’s okay to me on the surface because it is so challenging for me to approach someone because I’m so scared of messing up with social interaction with other adults.  It’s the walk to the church gym that makes my head rise – I’m so totally ready to serve children.  Put me in front of children and I’m super confident!  (mom, coach, kid’s ministry assistant, leader, etc.)

I know how much a small bit of encouragement helps me so when God touches my heart to say something to another adult, I have been listening lately.  A compliment, a congratulations, a mention of how well-behaved their child was, encouragement that they are doing a good job as so-and-so has accomplished xyz goal… That is so super hard for me as a human!  I can only encourage other adults because Jesus gives me strength! 

(If you ever reflect on my interactions with you and you have a child I know, notice I often talk to the child first?  Yes, I’m so much more comfortable starting with the little ones!)

My challenge to myself is always to listen to God’s nudge of a quiet voice and offer encouragement to whomever He leads into my path.  I make it my challenge to you.  Encourage.  Even a smile and “Good Morning!” goes a long way sometimes!  I’m speaking from my own personal experience.  What you are really saying to that person is “I see you.”

Thank you to those who serve as greeters at our Good News Church!  Thank you for those who know my name!  Thank you for making me feel seen.  Thank you for encouraging me and helping me pass that on and encourage others.  If you are an encourager; KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!

Thank you for reading,

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Judgments

What do you instantly presume based on a look? This cup, for example:

January 7, 2021

Judgments

It starts with this cup:

Judgement – instantly you either love or hate me, but you also immediately assume I spent $3 to $5 on the “coffee” I’m drinking.

Actually, I’ve never bought Starbucks. This cup? Well, I’m love my meal shake “cafe latte” hot and I’m a mom so that means 10x trips to the microwave… this cup’s predecessor two years ago was green and white and was perfect for the serving size and microwavable!! I hate waste. That green and white cup was destined for the trash… I saved it, sanitized it, and used it for almost 14 months. This cup was also someone else’s discarded trash.

Now, knowing that, you are either grossed out that I take trash, wash it, and claim it, saying “better you than me,” or you are applauding my penny-pinching way of getting exactly what I want and saving the landfill at the same time.

Isn’t it crazy how we judge?

Someone in the food bank line driving a really sweet immaculate older model Jaguar wearing a tailored suit jacket, $400 eyeglass frames, and a Rolex. You can choose to judge, “what is he here for?” or “he could sell the car (watch, frames, jacket) for money,” or whatever thought because you feel he shouldn’t be there.

Step in his shoes. Did you know he’s a former businessman whose life savings went into a dream business in fall of 2019 – just a small operation that employed 27 people. His jacket? It’s the same one he wore to his retirement party years ago. He has sold all the others. His eyeglass frames? Those were his late wife’s. He gets his prescription put in them for sentimental reasons. His Rolex look-alike? Inscribed with “to my love; come home safe; Christmas 1969” he received it in the spring of 1970 in Vietnam. His car? He takes care of it and cleans it himself – he’s had it for 22 years. The dealership won’t even give him $500 for it without locking him into a new loan he can’t afford; it is a cheap used car. He chooses to keep his employees at work but is falling deeper and deeper in debt so yes, he stretches his food budget with the weekly box from the food bank.

Have you ever read “To Kill a Mockingbird?” That book is an excellent tool for teaching you how to always treat everyone with kindness and consideration. Atticus teaches his children, and the reader, how not to make hasty judgments. Jem actually judges people and in his thoughts and conversations with Scout, he professes what Scout is thinking; they learn how their quick surface judgments are most often wrong.

Since I’ve read that book as a youngster, I decided to leave the judging to God. I strive to treat everyone with kindness. I strive to kick the judgmental thoughts from my mind before they affect my heart or bleed into my words.

Another great book for that end is “The Shack.”

In both instances I referenced, the book is far more poignant than the film, but the films do a decent job of getting the point across.

Treat others with kindness. Leave the judging to God. He alone knows the heart. Can our sour swift judgments harm? Yes. If we are to be the feet and hands of Jesus, we also need to speak his words to others and in our own hearts. When we allow own hearts to be poisoned by our own sour thoughts we allow ourselves to make hasty judgments, in turn we make poor decisions and usually harm others. We are putting a stumbling block in front of them! This is not how we are supposed to love.

As parents, we also need to avoid making hasty judgments about our children. We may know their hearts, sure. But what good can come of judging without listening? Always ask. Always talk. Always be available for them to speak to you. Your children do know your heart based on what you have shown them during their life – they need you to be a safe place for them to express feelings and emotions and speak troubles. This needs to start from the beginning and continue even when it is hard.

My father was always open where I could talk about anything with him. He guided me through dating and the first few weeks of engagement, he encouraged me to search for character traits, gave me logical wisdom as I relayed scenarios and answers, and offered questions for me to ask that led my fiancé and I into deep discussions where we discovered each other’s hearts. We came to understand our religious, political, family, and deep convictions through soul-baring conversation and intimately know each other.

I am forever thankful for the few months of guidance that led me to understand my future husband. I wanted to be someone my children could come talk to without fear, like my father had. I hope my children always understand that my love for them will never change. I will try to guide them. I will listen. I always try to listen first. I have a fix-it mentality though, which makes it a struggle to just listen when I care about someone and want to help them.

I have to learn, still, that people don’t always want help. They want ears to listen to their heart.

This is treating others with kindness.

Avoiding preconceived judgments (back to my iconic cup).

Listening without judging.

Praying before speaking.

Hearing without repeating (aka no gossiping).

Loving as Christ does.

If I am to be His hands and feet, I need to be his ears and mouth as well. I need to leave judging to God.

(Hope this encourages you as much as writing it encouraged me.)

~Type at you later.

~Nancy Tart

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