And We All Made It!

December 31, 2023

And We All Made It!

Butterflies swam in my heart, stomach, mind… anywhere… everywhere all at once.  

I’m sitting in one of the folding seats in the Ocean Center with a baby nursing… I’ve been here, done that before, but never have I been in this venue for the event that is unfolding before me.  

A cycle of pictures of young men and women in more childish images showed on the screen that usually displayed my gymnasts’ scores.  

My gymnasts are sitting in the row behind me because our group of twelve takes almost two whole rows.  They are not in warm-ups cheering teammates, but keeping siblings entertained as they all wait for Christina. 

Marching Music!  

There they come!  Hundreds of young people in black gowns and caps.  Christina has a decorated cap with a quote from The Hobbit.  Her cap is bright green – and that makes her easy to pick out of the sea of black gowns and caps.  

Christina is graduating with her 4-year-degree from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University!  Her graduation from high school with her AA degree from St Johns River State was the first college graduation ceremony I’d attended.  I look around me at six of my other seven children and my niece.  I smile; it definitely won’t be the last!

Everyone is waving and trying to get Christina to see them.  Christina’s fiancé was also watching along with some of his family a little higher up in the arena!  Kimberly is impressed with this use of the floor that she’s been competing on for three seasons and will be coming to again in 2024.  

The keynote speaker starts: Rebeccah’s plane hasn’t yet landed.  Louis is monitoring that.  The keynote speaker’s last encouragement?  “Adapt and overcome” – my Daddy said that all the time.  It almost made me feel like he was watching.  

A text.  Rebeccah’s plane landed.  She’s getting a taxi from the airport.  It’s a couple of miles.  She’d managed to get out of her college classes and work early so she could catch the earliest flight from Pensacola to Daytona.  I had prayed she would get to the venue to see Christina walk.  

I walked out to change Laud the same time as Louis said Rebeccah was here but not sure how to get in.  I walked to meet her; she is very enterprising and self-reliant so had discovered the entry herself.

We took our seats.  

Christina’s group of graduates stood.  My crew waved and Christina looked up to see Rebeccah here.  

We were all present.  

Louis, me, Rebeccah, Kimberly, Jaquline, Jillian, Lucas, Theadora, Laud.  Grandma Tina.  Aunt Becca and Anastasia.  Louis had his mom on video phone or something like that.  She said she was watching it live-streamed.  All of Louis’ and my little Tart clan was here to cheer on our Christina as she graduated.  

Our determined, ambitious, perfectionist whose smile lights up rooms.  October had been her 20th birthday.  My mind flew backward to that box of confetti in plane shapes.  She’d been accepted to the only university she wanted to attend: and Louis and I wondered how we would pay for it.  Scholarships, grants, loans, and flight training on a few credit cards – she’d worked as much as possible to make it happen.  We’d helped some.  Christina had made it happen.  

Christina walked up to get her diploma.  With honors.  (My perfectionist was bummed she didn’t make “with highest honors”) She did her little dance move she did at her “high school” graduation.  She looked up and beamed at us.  I am so proud of her!  (And Thea yells “you got this!” – even though it wasn’t a gymnastics meet)  

All of us were there.  Sure, our baby won’t remember it.  He actually slept through the keynote speaker and woke just before Christina walked.  Thea and Lucas will remember playing and being bored, respectively.  From Anastasia up to Rebeccah though; they know it’s a big deal.  They know, with varying degrees of understanding, how much work Christina put into getting to this goal.  They watched, with varying degrees of understanding, as she studied, worked, stressed, complained, forced herself to take fun breaks once in a blue moon, prayed, and pushed on.  

We all celebrated with Christina. 

I am so thankful for miraculous appearing of funding at needed times.  I am so thankful for my determined young woman who made her goal happen.  I will cherish this memory.  

Soar high Christina!  Remember what your determination and ambition made happen!  God opens doors but you have to choose to walk through them!  Your graduation didn’t happen “just because” – there were lots of late nights, missed sleep, forcing yourself to go to work when you wanted to sleep in, exams you stressed far too much over, budget cuts to pay for the next simulator, and other challenges you rose to and overcame.  

Keep on flying high – you are “forever an eagle” now!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Growing Young Women

December 28, 2023

Growing Young Women

It struck me with a text I sent: I have the littles at gym with me

I had Jillian, Lucas, Thea, and Laud.  

Half of our “biggers” are actually adults.  That’s a strange place to realize I am at.  I paused a moment, glancing at my phone on my work desk.  The notice underneath my text went from “sent” to “read” and I smiled.  I thanked God for the honor of having so much time with my growing young women.  I thanked Him for getting to mother so many of His children.  (My heart reminded me that we get them for a short time.

I don’t want to think about that.  

My heart loves that they love to do stuff together.  Like when they got a “big girl trip” for their combined birthdays.  Such happy faces!

Now we are nearing the end of Rebeccah’s winter break. (I didn’t want to think about that, either.) Soon those giggles across the table at meals, board games, and roblox and minecraft shenanigans, the gamer shouts from the newly re-setup PS1 and Xbox in the playroom, and the kitchen laughter will again be missing our Rebeccah.  I am so thankful for her beautiful life!  I love the connectivity and humor she brings.  I miss her when she’s gone.  I thanked God for Rebeccah.  I pray she will always choose to talk to me when she needs to.  I pray I am keeping our communication open.  I pray she chooses wisdom. 

Kimberly and Jaquline go back to their respective schedules (as does everyone else) and move forward in their busy study, work, and training lives.  Kimberly recently found a friend who encourages her in faith and sports commitment; a very good thing for her at this time.  I thanked God for Kimberly.  I pray she chooses wisdom as she keeps moving toward her long-term goal of studying sports medicine or physical therapy.  She has such a heart for healing (and preventing injury) and an intuitive understanding of how the body works.  

Jaquline has recently started to focus her studies on law and debate – her new goal is to be a lawyer.  She does have a way of getting people to see merit in her direction.  I laugh sometimes at her logic.  She has such a wonderful attitude about life and her cheerfulness is catchy.  She takes the responsibility of helping raise children so seriously – she assists in the nursery and I often hear her say “my babies.”  She has a helpful heart and wants to see everyone treated fairly.  I thanked God for Jaquline.  I pray she continues to seek God and chooses wisdom in her life’s path.

Christina, our first with a Bachelor’s degree, is stepping forward toward her career.  She continues to live with us.  I am so thankful that she stays close.  I feel honored that she chooses to keep talking with me. I thank God for Christina.  I pray she seeks God in all aspects of her life.  I pray she chooses to chase her dreams and grab opportunities that arise.  I pray she chooses wisdom and can live with no regrets.  Christina has a mothering soul.  Her determination and ambition have served her well so far!

I love all stages of our family life.  Today I’m grateful for being able to watch our little girls grow into vibrant young women.  I am thankful I still get to be a part of their lives.  I am reminded that just as we can contain multiple emotions at once, our homes can contain multiple stages at once.  Thank you, Jesus, for the honor of being a mother.  

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

The Miracle of Laud

The Miracle of Laud: A beautiful birth story

*Author Note* Wow, I didn’t realize I have not posted all summer!  To say this summer has been busy is a severe understatement; this summer has been a crazy roller coaster jam-packed with life craziness.  Hopefully, this happy little story of a new miracle will make you smile! *

August 7, 2023

The Miracle of Laud

There was a day Louis and I took off of work and decided to celebrate our anniversary.  As I was reserving tickets for our gym’s Parent’s Night Out for my kiddos who weren’t working it, my boss laughed and said, something to the effect of “no more babies!”  Louis wanted to try for a boy and I was not against it! (I love being pregnant!)

Almost two months later we took the last opportunity to let all the kiddos know in person (Becky was home from college).  Our teenagers had various hilarious reactions we should have filmed (ranging from “ya’ll are crazy” to a slamming door to “are you kidding?”).  Jillian was super excited.  Lucas started cleaning a spot in his room for the baby; which Louis was convinced would be a boy since he used “Dr Jack’s method” that worked with Lucas.  Thea asked a million questions and kept trying to hear the baby’s heartbeat and talk to the baby.  

My babies like to hang around and I love being pregnant.  This time around was so different.  I was measuring large, but there are lots of factors that impact fundus measurement so it is more just a guide to make sure the baby doesn’t stop growing.  I’m forty and my last pregnancy to term was four years prior.  Even though, yes, I’m in what I consider really good shape, my body has been stretched out and back seven times.  I actually wore maternity clothes a friend gave me this time like normal!  I actually looked like I was pregnant from about 5 months on, a real first for me.  I loved that!

We went to the team banquet, it was the first one Christina got to come to, and the girls teased me saying I didn’t have any formal clothes… I surprised them with what I considered the cutest maternity dress ever (gift from the same friend – they just hadn’t seen it yet).  It felt so cool to show off the baby.  Friends who had seen me pregnant before asked if I was sure on the date or if there were two in there.  (Louis loved this, the baby inside was doing some movements that I still can’t explain, and secretly, I would have loved twins.

My “official” date from LMP would have been August 28, 40 weeks from the baby’s start would have been September 4th.  I just told people September or early October.  I honestly thought early-to-mid-September because most of my babies were about 42 weeks old when they came; I usually carried closer to 10 months.   

July 31st started braxton-hicks contractions, the baby was still sitting up high right under my ribs and had not yet “dropped”.  That was spot on for me because braxton-hicks contractions usually come 4 to 6 weeks (even 8 weeks, in two instances) before the baby comes.  My babies tend to drop 3 or 4 weeks before.  The baby-mapping information, which is super cool to research if you have time and want to be amazed, was telling me the baby was up to one side.  My milk usually starts leaking a week or so before the birth too and there was no sign of that yet,  

We went to the beach in the late evening of August 2nd.  It was beautiful!  I always feel like praising God for everything when I watch the majesty of the ocean, hear the laughter and joy of my children enjoying the water, and slow down to consider how honored I am to be so blessed.  The others did gymnastics drill competitions in the soft sand (handstand holds, perfect Ts, candlestick holds, etc.) while Becky and Thea made a sandcastle from dripping sand – absolutely breathtaking.  

(beach shenanigans and laughter)

On the way home, it felt like the baby shifted to sit sideways.  I mentioned that I would like the baby to drop soon so sitting in a car wasn’t so uncomfortable.  Christina laughed.  The sing-along music at the top of their lungs and windows open made it so no one else heard.  

I woke up on August 3rd a little after midnight.  I thought my body was doing Braxton-Hicks contractions; it had been off and on since July 31st.  These stretch-and-prepare contractions came and went in tiny spurts and historically clusters of three to ten stretches that disappear after I move around, shower, or stretch was “normal” for my previous births.  I remembered seeing a facebook post about one of my best friends getting home from the hospital with her son; she often didn’t have night nursing and I hadn’t meshed schedules with her in a very long time.  I texted to see if she was awake and able to chat.  God knew I needed to hear her voice and we chatted for a couple of hours.  Just after 4:15am, what I thought was Braxton-Hicks contractions about midnight (I had showered and they went away completely), became an intense contraction that came in a wave.  I paused talking to breathe through that one and mentioned that it was different.  I said, “this is early,” or something to that effect and told Hannah I was going to wake Louis & call Misti.  As I stood up – or tried to – another contraction came in which the baby shifted from sideways inside me to “in position” and dropped all in the same intense contraction!  I’ve never felt that before! 

I made it from by the couch to the just inside the bathroom (didn’t get to my bedroom to get Louis) and another seriously intense contraction came.  Someone had left two of the deep soft towels laid out flat on the floor on top of the bath rug (a nice, soft place to pause where clean up would be easy). I heard Christina coming out of the barracks and she asked, “mom, are you dead?” I was in full relax through the contraction mode and answered “I’m fine” with a tiny voice she knew meant baby was coming. She woke Louis and went to get mom.  Louis came in the bathroom and rubbed my back, “this is coming fast” my bones were doing the separate-thing they do at transition (feels like my spine is coming apart). With the next contraction, my water broke.  I texted “my water just broke” and called.  Misti ended up being on speakerphone with us the whole birth.  I remember wanting to double check my “official” LMP due date that was in my phone memo with all the other baby measurements for this pregnancy (my phone appears to be my notebook for everything to keep me straight on facts – I sometimes call it “my memory” because I upgraded from a purse-calendar-planner to that).  I couldn’t focus on anything but listening to my body because I didn’t want to move too fast; my brain kept trying to slow my body down – nope, body wasn’t listening.  

One more contraction at total relax and the next one came with a burning urge to push.  I felt the baby moving to crown and said something, likely incoherent at this point, about the baby crowning.  I heard what I thought was Louis repeating what I thought I said.  I heard Misti say something too, but I was focused on listening to my body and slowly (in my head it felt slow, but time is so relative when you are in concentration on something – it was likely fast) pictured what the muscles in my body were doing and focused on working with them instead of fighting against them.  I remember praying and feeling God say, “listen” like a soft ocean breeze in my ear.  He made my body to do exactly what it was doing now.  I relaxed – rested – in my trust of Him.  

Louis told me the baby crowned and to push, I didn’t feel a contraction but refused to panic, I waited and breathed deep to calm and listen; another contraction came and pushed our little one out.  There was a cry followed by a choking sound.  As I looked to see the baby in Louis’ hands, the baby’s fingers then arms and toes then legs started to turn from a bright pink-red to blue!  The baby had come out with the umbilical cord wrapped and Louis unwrapped it. 

Time here slowed for us.  It felt like an eternity. 

“What happened?” Misti seemed to be able to see everything though she was just on the phone, we said he was turning blue like he choked, she said to suction his mouth.  I remembered that from Kimberly’s birth – her cord was really short and the midwife had stopped me from pushing to unwrap her cord, then used a long tube to suction out her mouth – she had been blue.  I couldn’t see using a nose suction thingy, it was too short.  I had heard Louis say he was a boy as he first cried.  Now my mind said “he” instead of “baby”.  “How do I do that?” I remember not panicking although the back of my mind was screaming at me “he’s blue!  Not breathing! He’s going to die!”  Misti said to hold his nose and suction him with my mouth.  It was like she could see that I wasn’t pulling strong enough, I remember, “no, pull like you’re sucking a milkshake through a straw,” I prayed and sucked up a ton of mucus which I just spit on the floor.  “Blow into him, firm but gentle,” I heard.  I blew a breath as I prayed again.  He shuddered and breathed in and cried out!  I cried.  

Christina had called 911 when he started turning blue.  He’d been not breathing.  It had really been less than a minute between choking sound and his next full cry.  It had felt like ten minutes.  It had felt like eternity.  Everything had happened so fast but in my mind it had happened in slow motion.  

Fire rescue came in.  My mom said one guy heard the baby crying and whispered, “thank God,” as he entered.  Misti told us to rub him so we had been rubbing on Laud all over to get the circulation back.  We’d recently watched Thea’s “pongo dog” aka “101 Dalmations” and one of the kids mentioned, “just like the puppy.”  I didn’t know which of the girls were awake just yet.  I did suddenly realize when there were strangers in my house that I was naked and bloody and there was a giant mess in the bathroom – I made a mental note to throw out the towels on top of the rug and I didn’t care if they were the big nice ones or not.  I had been focused on Baby Laud.  Louis covered my shoulders with a big towel.  The Fire Rescue guy looks at the cord, which was wrapped around my leg, the placenta hadn’t delivered yet, and Laud is at my chest height being rubbed.  He said, “wow, that cord is long.”  They waited a moment for the pulsing to stop so all the blood from the cord went into Laud.  Cord was cut and they did some stuff checking out Laud.  I told them, “we called for him, not me,” because “blue and not breathing is scary” and I told them what I needed to do for me (deliver placenta, get blood off to see if I am actively bleeding, etc). The guy agreed and said the baby was good asked if he’d urinated. Yes, with his first big cry after I suctioned him, he’d peed all over, which honestly had made us laugh. Since Louis and the rescue people had Laud, I washed to get most of the blood off and stimulate my body to contract again and get the placenta out.  Misti was still on the phone and had all the times and such.  Someone (likely Louis, Mom, and Christina) cleaned up the mess on the floor (I hoped the towels just got tossed).

One of the rescue guys said they couldn’t leave until they made sure baby and I were good – for me, that meant delivering the placenta and not actively bleeding. Placenta delivered along with huge blood clots. Louis goes, “I know what to look for.” He says the placenta is a fascinating organ and knows what the whole one looks like. The placenta was whole. I’ve seen them too, but usually I’m a little occupied with the baby and only once do I remember examining one because I was curious. No active bleeding. Sweet. Just that drainage, which honestly appeared too light to me.

All Laud’s vitals were good!  His little fingers and toes were pink by the time the placenta delivered and I’d cleaned up a little so I felt ready for the baby.  They checked my blood pressure, which was “a bit low” so I had to explain that my blood pressure is always low, stress makes it “normal.”  They were so nice and it was amazing how quickly they arrived.  Everything was good so we opted to stay home because I never sleep in hospitals anyway.  Laud was perfect!  

From the “my water just broke” text at 4:36 to when he was born at 4:43 was literally 7 minutes.  I am still in complete awe of how quickly everything went. Rescue guys and lady left somewhere before 6am (that was when I texted someone, Misti or Hannah likely)

Our little Laud Arik “stole” Christina’s title of “lightest” at his new 6lbs 4oz.  He tied Kimberly for the shortest at 19 inches.  His name means “Praise” and “Lion of God” in Hebrew.  The teenagers pointed out he is a Leo.  He is such an amazing blessing!  The girls of course, are vying for who gets to hold him.  Lucas commented, “you have two brothers, he’s my only brother.” (Although that is literally true, it’s also a little funny that he decided that was why he should be able to hold him more than the girls.)  

Our littlest love is here!

He’s ready to be loved on and spoiled by big sisters, his big brother (who has been his shadow since birth), family, and friends.  We’re so awed and blessed and honored to have another little “arrow” to raise up!  Thank you, Jesus for friends, family, quick rescue workers (even though he was all okay when they got here, it was provision in case he wasn’t – not breathing is scary to watch)! Thank you, Jesus, for Your perfect timing!  Becky gets two & a half weeks with him before she’s gone until November, Christina gets a week & a half before her final senior semester craziness, I only missed the last two days of camp at gym and will be ready for driving with the start of school, my mom travels over summer and was here for just a four-day stay in between visits & got to be here… I have always teased that babies don’t read calendars… and my cumulative experiences with births keeps showing me every time is different and God has all of it in His hands!

Thank you, Jesus, for the miracle of love and life!  Thank you, Jesus, for the miracle of Laud!

*Pictures because my girls say I can’t write about him without sharing pictures! (photo credit to Grandma Tina, Christina, Becky, and Kimberly because I was way too busy to think of pictures!)  

(Stretching all over!)

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

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