give – Nancy Tart: Writing for Life

Mary Did Know, Do You?

Sometimes I may think too deep
#2022 #Family #HistoricalThoughts #DidMaryKnow #DidMarysMotherKnow #RaisingGodsKids #ChildrenAreAnHeritageFromTheLord #Psalm127_3 #SpeakLife #ChooseTruth #TheyAreWatchingYou #MotherhoodIsAnHonor #FatherhoodIsAnHonor #Reward #Gift #Blessing #Love #ShePonderedInHerHeart

December 31, 2022

Mary Did Know, Do You?

I read a post today that said “Mary may have known, but her mother did not.”

That hit me. We sing the song “Mary Did You Know” which I love, but always mentally I remind myself that the Bible tells us “Mary pondered these things in her heart” regarding the Angel’s visit, the visits of the shepherds, magi, the Angel’s message for them to flee, even the time when they lost Jesus in the temple. She was constantly pondering. Considering, probably praying, “God, direct me.” She knew what responsibility God had given her.

But her mother? Mary was favored by God. Her mother must have brought her up in the wisdom and admonition of the Lord. The whole post was about this – Mary did know, her mother did not.

Don’t we all know? I mean, not that every one of us carries Jesus or looks as the Creator of the World in our arms and ponders it in our hearts… but each of us who are mothers have carried at least one little child – don’t they all belong to God?

I remember looking at my firstborn: tiny, beautiful face and long eyelashes, strong little fingers with a tremendous grip, perfect tiny toes, I drank in every little detail of her sweet, fragile body. We prayed over her because we knew she belonged to God. Even her name was a promise from us; Christina Elizabeth means “Believer in Christ, Servant of God,” it was our promise that we would do our best with the few years God gave her to us.

Each little one afterward I’ve felt the same utter joy and overwhelming responsibility. They are God’s kids, not mine. I get the honor of mothering them and we get to raise them; pointing them in the right direction. Our prayer is that they take on the responsibility for their relationship themselves and continue to grow in grace and love.

Mary did know what honor God had given her. Mary’s mother knew only that she was raising a daughter of Israel, a girl who would become a woman. I imagine that all mothers whispered in their hearts to their daughters before Christ’s birth, “live true, child, it may be you through whom the God of our Fathers chooses to bring the Saviour of the World.” I imagine that Mary’s mother’s mother whispered the same thing to her. They lived in the wonder of hope and faith. They believed in the future reality and each prayed she would be the girl given the honor; each woman didn’t know if their daughter may be the one chosen by God, but they chose to raise their daughters to be wives and mothers to honor God.

They heard or read as we still do, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” ~Psalm 127:3 Children are a blessing, a reward, a gift God gives us to give back to Him.

No, we do not know what plans God has for our children, but we can pray for their path and lead them to an understanding of God’s love. We are all entrusted with raising our children for a time, but they all truly belong to God.

Thank you, Jesus, for the honor of motherhood!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Life Goals

December 28, 2022

Life Goals

I continually reevaluate my “life goals,” if you want to call them that.

Core has always been to love Jesus, pass that on to everyone I can touch, and show love when I can. The additions have changed a little:

Pre-twenties, I wanted to be a wife, mother, and teacher. Did that. Am living that.

Twenties to mid-thirty: The only earthly thing I wanted for my children was a home they all grew up in and family roots. I failed at that. Life teaches you lessons and you hope to pass on the results so they don’t fall into the same trap.

Thirty-three and beyond, I only want my children to love Jesus in a true life-long relationship; I’ve learned that everything in life beyond relationships is just temporary.

Lately, my older children have made comments in passing that really cut to my heart. The first year I didn’t unwrap a gift from you. (Her gifts were too large to wrap & smaller things were in her stocking.) Wow, they’ve lived there like 12 years, that would never be us. (We did have a home for 14 years, just moved to two different places during that ownership to help other people for seasons.) You don’t give me stuff like the other girls’ moms. (No, I can’t give anyone a brand new car as they get their license, a new laptop, the latest phone, gaming systems, etc. I provide you with opportunities to save for those things and decide their value yourself.)

Those things and other assorted in passing comments have made me delve into self-examination for the past couple of months. I can’t talk to my Daddy about it, praying feels one-way, a memory pops up of Louis’ accident last year and the days of challenges and miracles, I feel like I’ll never dig us out into property that is our home (though I keep reminding my doubt that I left that in God’s hands, the doubt keeps trying to come in), people I know whose children I know are dying from poison, I pray daily for those I know who are affected: my life feels useless as I feel like I can’t do much for anyone.

This morning I saw the evidence of a life well lived. My entire perspective changed.

There was a young woman in a beautiful wedding dress beaming a smile holding onto the arm of an elegant man in a suit. Their faces shone with love. The photo was a portrait size and in black and white; aged scores of years. You could feel their love. Two candles on either side of the little table below the portrait. Mementos and memories on the table; he had passed away before her. It reminded me of my mother’s tribute shadowbox for my Daddy. Her home was full of framed pictures: children and grandchildren in various smiles and grins. A few in the midst of laughter – those cherished candid photos that you keep even if they aren’t the best quality. Worn rocker. Stockings. A Christmas tree. An open Bible. Her faith and the relationships she had cultivated radiated from each well-worn book, devotional, and study guide on that little bookshelf. My writer’s brain wondered how many of those books she or her husband had bought and then passed around. How many grandchildren had heard stories from that Children’s Bible with the bent binding? Children told her goodbye: that they loved her, they didn’t want her to leave, that they would see her later in heaven, one told her to give daddy a kiss from her.

That is a life well-lived.

Her children loved her enough to keep taking care of her at home; like Mom did for Grandma Jeanette. Don’t ever put me in a nursing home. Because of love, they sacrificed and made it happen that they cared for mom at her home so she could die in peace. Her face showed that peace.

That is a life well-lived.

I was so overwhelmed with emotion for that wonderful woman I didn’t know. Grandma Jeanette told me once to “live with no regrets” which I also remember from the lady who gave me my first cookbook. She’d been married four times and raised five boys. Her life story was how to gather things and make stews and build add-ons to her house and save people from storms on the lake. Her sons all passed on her faith; I played with her grandchildren and they were the first group of children I’d met who talked about Jesus like a close friend like my family did. She wrote “God will bless your life, let Him lead,” in my cookbook cover (I was 7 years old). She died shortly after at 90-something.

That is a life well-lived.

Live with no regrets. Love without reservation.

My goal is to allow my children to see Jesus through me, to trust Him in everything, to do my absolute best to shine His love wherever I can.

Life doesn’t have to be long to be well-lived. I consider the life I’ve already lived to be amazing. I thank God for each day He’s given me. For the challenges we’ve overcome as a family, for the health miracles which are the reason my babies and I are here, for the protection over my daughters’ hearts as they allow it, for the relationships we have with each other. Those I’ve known for seasons who are friends like sisters and brothers in my heart. Growing those relationships as best I can even when life is “too busy” and time is challenging; that is a goal.

Live with no regrets. Love without reservation.

I was 12, she was a beautiful frail girl with a rapturous joy of life and Jesus and family when we met her. She shared her love with everyone without caring what they thought. If someone stared at her bald head, she would approach them and say, hi, how are you today? And try to show them love and happiness. She came to our house probably because we treated her and her sister just like we treated anyone else; we played with them, swang with them, took them for canoe rides, fished on the shore while she braided flowers, played with our chickens and dogs together, told stories to each other, and otherwise enjoyed life. She lost her battle with cancer shortly afterward, but I couldn’t cry. She was home with Jesus like she talked about all the time. She told us we had to still play with Danielle. As long as we lived there, we did. I still love Erica and Danielle like they were my own sisters; since we were sisters in the faith, we are sisters.

That is a life well-lived.

He was his sisters’ baby doll. He protected everyone. He was loved by everyone. He knew who needed to hear and in turns shared his faith and struggles and love with them. His smile told you everything you needed to know; he was genuine. He died protecting those he cared about. His legacy is the love and relationships left in the hearts of those he loved and who loved him; and the relationships they created when coming to celebrate his life. He was my brother’s friend. His family and mine were intertwined in so many relationships through many seasons of our lives.

That is a life well-lived.

My perspective shifted. It set me back on the track that my brain keeps trying to veer me off of. My true life goal is to shine with Jesus’ light: to make strong relationships, to build into people, to share my faith, to encourage others, to help when I can, to do my very best to love as Jesus does. And in Jesus’ time, when my story on Earth is finished, I will go home and those I love will see a life well-lived.

Right now, I’m living my life well-lived!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Fighting the “Silent Killer”

My little sister has a big fight ahead: Spreading her story is one way I can help.

May 6, 2019

Fighting “the Silent Killer”

For the past few months, we’ve been praying and hoping as Becca, my sister, went from doctor to doctor, clinic to clinic, and eventually the hospital over an unknown infection that was bothering her on her leg. They said it was ringworm, an infection from “dirty water at work,” a spider bite, etc. She heard everything but none of the treatments seemed to help; most only caused severe pain where there hadn’t been pain. Her main complaints were a growing discoloration, open wound that wouldn’t heal, and itching.

Last week, on Friday, May 3, 2019, she finally had a serious answer. A wound specialist here in Saint Augustine told her for sure (results of several tests) that what was causing her leg problems was a condition that usually affects those over 55 – burst varicose veins causing blood clots. This is often called “the silent killer” because there aren’t any painful signs. If left untreated, the blood clots begin to travel. Once a blood clot reaches a vital organ, it causes death.

Doppler tests (like a sonogram) showed several blood clots. Three are already traveling. The specialist stressed immediacy. Becca was glad to have an answer, but she had no clue how she could pay for the six (6!) surgeries needed as soon as possible. Without counting medications, aftercare such as dressings, lack of income from missing work, and the looming bills from previous misdiagnoses, she will need $18,000.

Then a series of God-orchestrated tumblers began to fall; family volunteered to help, Becca found she could “cash in” her vacation time for an emergency, and her credit card limit increased – she was able to gather enough funds to start one of the six surgeries. Her first one is scheduled for Wednesday, May 8, 2019. We are praying and believing God will guide the surgeon’s hands, heal Becca, and cover medical costs for her.

Several of us suggested using “GoFundMe” as I always help when I see one local. Becca didn’t want to ask; so we decided to do it for her. We love our sister and although, yes, I’m sure over time she’d make it work – she needs this now. Without having a big enough fund to grab into, we have each other. Each of us, giving what we can, helping as she does for us, we can all pull together and help Becca.

The reason we like “GoFundMe” and local networks that ask for help is because it shows the power of each of us in our community. One woman needs help moving – pretty much has the whole job packed and moved in a weekend. My midwife is constantly letting us know about moms, babies, or families in need: I always try to give. Becca always gives. I find hope in seeing people help each other. I enjoy helping at food pantries and raising money for charities. I love these because everyone’s little bit helps to make big things work.

Becca started crying tears of gratefulness when she realized people donated shortly after we set it up. Thank you for showing our community’s heart. This is how we fight the silent killer.

Please pray for Becca now and if you can, please consider donating.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

Waffle Blocks

April 23, 2019

Waffle Blocks

Well, we have this thing in our house where we give away everything we aren’t using. This goes for toys too. We don’t keep more than we actually use. We find toy drives, needy families, or other causes to give away the overage. I have found that the kids enjoy giving away favorites that they’ve outgrown or donate to those in need.

When I “sift through” them after donations, I end up seeing the “sets” of toys like Legos, Duplos, mega blocks, fisher price trains, Lincoln logs, polly pockets, Playmobile builders, and small cars and animals. These seem to stand the test of time – even Louis and I will build duplo bridges over Lucas’ train tracks.

When I started working playroom duty at the gym, I discovered another “set” of toys many ages enjoyed. I came home and told Louis “if Heather gets rid of those toys, I’m buying them from her.”

Then my sister brought a bag of them from her neighbor who was moving!

WAFFLE BLOCKS!

The girls made minecraft arms and walked around like this: (Primrose is very impressed)

Lucas loves them. (Jillian too!)

And they even came with a pair of wheels and tracks!

So we squeezed them into the playroom collection – and many will have fun with these funny-looking brain teasers!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Behind the Picture: Bitten Heart

What kind of “deep thoughts” about life and love come from a bitten cookie?

February 28, 2019

Behind the Picture! Bitten Heart

It was Valentine’s Day.

I was at work (Playroom not coaching this evening). Christina and Kimberly had come with me because my workplace is about 12 minutes from my sister’s house versus my house being about 35 minutes distant and Christina wasa going over to babysit her cousins. (Kimberly is a year older than Livy, her closest cousin, and they LOVE to do anything together, so she jumped at the chance to spend time with her.)

Louis and I never really do anything special on Valentine’s Day as we are usually working it! Christina considers Valentine’s Day a married-adult-only holiday and the chocolate on sale the 15^th as the holiday for her.

We celebrate our love daily. At least, I feel like we do. At this time, I was dealing with a pretty bad allergic reaction to the inhaler medication and trying to keep normalcy while managing that and figuring out a new method to help when the black mold in our house messed with my breathing. Louis was home (supposed to be resting his back) keeping everything in line there. He’s an amazing chef and always had an awesome lunch /dinner when I came home between jobs. There’d be a fresh hot dinner, usually just for him and me, when I got home from gym (between 8:30 and 9:30pm so the kids had already eaten).

When my sweet sister picked Christina and Kimberly up, she gave me a yummy, organic, cookie she and her youngest daughter had made. (It looked so beautiful I almost didn’t want to eat it!) She is a fitness instructor, nutritionist, and thoughtful, loving sister!

I was at that moment, a very hungry pregnant lady.

While watching the youngest in the playroom, I was studying and working on my journal for Christina (More about that in a later post), and I don’t like to eat around those who don’t have something to eat. So the heart sat there, calling me, until the boys brought in their own candy and the baby went home.

When I took a bite, instantly my mind thought of how when we give true love (our world uses a heart to symbolize love), it is without expecting anything back. We expect the recipient of our love to consume that love and we are thrilled if they enjoyed our offering. My sister and niece happily created a labor of love (the cookies) to selflessly, happily give away without expectation of anything in return.

Of course, in true loving relationships, both parties give love continually to each other. In the varying seasons of life, one may seem to be giving more than the other, but true love gives without considering reward. We expect our “hearts” to be “eaten” by those we give them to. If we truly love, we are happy, even excited, that our love accepted and enjoyed our labor of love.

Jesus gave his love (no greater love has a man than when he gives his life for another) to us knowing that many would not even accept his gift. They would live their lives, partake of all the gifts Jesus gave (air to breathe, beauty of creation, life itself, etc…), consuming His labors of love one by one, yet never returning anything. Some would come to enjoy relationship with Jesus, but He knew some wouldn’t and yet He still poured out His love.

All this ran through my mind at the sight of one bite taken from a cookie. (So, yes, I took a food picture.) A little deep, maybe, but that’s my writer’s brain.

I plan to continually shower those around me with as much love as I can give, and this picture will remind me to not think of getting anything back – to rejoice always when they accept and consume the love I give.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

Pearson Christmas Party 2018

Picture overload! My family’s Christmas party 2018.

December 22, 2018

Pearson Christmas Party

Imagine twelve adults and thirteen children racing around a beautifully decorated house and every single one of them is acting like they are somewhere in that magic child age around 5 to 8. That was our Christmas party this year. It was the best!

My amazing sister and brother hosted.

Katy is always ready for a picture!

Livy painting faces! Anastasia is concentrating on being very still. She was rewarded with a beautiful butterfly!

Jaquline got snowflakes to match her dress!

Mrs. Claus and helpers! Tina, Christina (Christy the elf), and Mandy (Elsa-elf!)

Liam was here, but jumped out of the way! Brother-cousin time L-to-R JJ, Lucas, Isaac

This video shows our baby sister’s personality – it matches the hat!

Group Selfie! Tina, Ray, Becca, Charles, Allison

The teenage grandchildren (Becky, 13, and Christina, 15)

Bouncy Hat plus Sherlock Pipe (both with accents…)

The pro (Aunt Becca) teaching JJ how to take a selfie… (He knows he’s adorable!)

Mom and the boys (silly faces): L-to-R Nathan, Ray, Tina, Charles, Louis, and Andy

Mom and the girls: L-to-R Mary, Kayla, Katy, Allison, Tina, Becca, and me.

We did not get a group picture, or a full cousin picture, because everyone was just having too much fun! The girls (my pictures come from Christina, Becky, and Kimberly) managed to get many active shots.

This was our first year without my Daddy. Katy and Andy had set up the layout so that he would have a comfy chair, a central view, close to food, close to everything in what Kimberly called “Santa Boompa’s throne.” (The chair with the footstool, Mom’s seat was supposed to be the matching one next to his.) From this view you could see Livy’s facepainting station (she is so talented), the Selfie station (which was hilarious), the “dance floor” (right in front – so much fun!), the food and beverage buffet area was to the left (easy access to refills and the silly shenanigans going on in there), and the covered porch area was just behind it (where not just the boys were showing off their strength… or trying to).

Even though he wasn’t there, I didn’t feel like Daddy was missing. I heard him in my brothers, Mom, and several of the children. I heard his laugh when the boys were showing off. I could hear him cheering each one on. I felt his smile as Anastasia passed out gifts for each of the sister- and brother-cousins. The little ones ran around giving drawings, toys, and hugs to each other and I felt him smile because he loved to give. I felt his heart as Kimberly reminded me she needed my phone to “take pictures and movies for Grandma,” because “Granddaddy always likes to get pictures for Grandma!”

My Daddy’s legacy lives as the humor and fun he always had rubbed off on us kids and our children. We love to see each other smile and laugh. We encourage each other. We share with each other. We love.

This makes me so happy I cried on the way home.

Daddy isn’t really gone. I miss him so bad; I miss being able to talk with him. No one listens to me chatter away about the story ideas I have like he did. Daddy didn’t seem to mind if it was the fifth – or fiftieth – time I told a cute something the kids did or a neat thing I learned; he never said “I’ve already heard that.” I miss that, yes.

But he’s here. I keep hearing the sing-song voice from the Disney cartoon: “he lives in you.”

Daddy lives in all 25 of us that were there (and the 4 who weren’t) in some way. His legacy is us.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Hand-Me-Downs

A radio talk show guy’s comment made me ponder my absolute love of hand-me-downs and thrift shops.

September 4, 2018

Hand-Me-Downs

Driving to pick up a long-distance call, I was listening to Christian talk radio. A guy comes on talking about how he and his family love hand-me-downs.

I can totally relate! All my life I’ve loved, and lived in, hand-me-downs. When my kids get a bag of clothes, they all get excited. It’s sorting, trying on, modeling, and deciding how to “fix” something they love to make it fit (sewing skills). Anything we can’t use (and everything we grow out of or don’t have room for) gets passed on. We only allow them to keep what they can fit “in their drawers” and on their bit of hanging rack space. Rebeccah, who loves shoes, has created some interesting storage adaptations to stretch her allotted space to keep extra shoes.

Kids grow so fast! At one stage, Kimberly jumped through one full shoe size every month for about six months! During this same time, Jaquline sprouted through three shirt sizes and Rebeccah’s legs stretched by nearly a foot!

We had quite a few bags of shoes and clothes to give away! Most, we had received as hand-me-downs but they looked practically new! Lots of happy kids got to pass around clothes in this growth spurt. The girls like to plan who can get their clothes – if anyone we know needs them, if anyone is their size and is okay with used clothing, or if they know a friend who “loved” some outfit. Otherwise, we donate to Alpha-Omega or Betty Griffin Thrift.

The radio talk show guy was mentioning that he was super excited one day because a friend gave him some amazing hand-me-downs that were almost new and stylish. He was showing one off at work and realized he was wearing the emblem for a college he didn’t attend! So he almost felt embarrassed telling a coworker it was a hand-me-down. Then, he stopped. He said we are to be good stewards and trading clothing around if it still has wear in it is being a good steward of the materials (less waste) and finances (less purchases made). He told his coworker that the money he and his family saved on clothing allowed them to give more financially to charities they supported.

I had never thought of our hand-me-downs as “good stewardship” in that way! I have always told others that it saves waste (why throw something away when someone else can use it?) and it stretches our budget. I never actually thought of what I do with the money I save.

We do give a lot of what we make, sometimes we end up giving more in time than in money, but we still help in a lot of places monetarily.

When we do buy clothes, it’s usually underwear (I do buy that new from target on “clearance,” it seems some character is always going out of style), sneakers, or jeans. We go to the thrift shops on the day when said clothing is x% off or wait for an end-of-season sale (thrift shops do that too). So, annually, we spend about $300 on all 8 of us.

I never really thought about how much money I’d spend without hand-me-downs. Using thrift shop prices (I still wouldn’t buy new): I figured that for each growing child, I’d spend about $80 twice a year, and for each adult, I’d spend about $40 a year (what we already buy from thrift stores can’t be counted as savings). So for our family, that would be about (160×6)+(40×2)=$1,040 annually in addition to the $300 we already spend!

$1,040 is almost a rent payment.

That’s about three weeks’ of work.

Then I realized that I never buy anything new – furniture, animal cages, books, movies, games, toys, yarns, craft stuff… the list is endless. Except for food, most cell phones, a few tools, the coffee maker, most mattresses, and one computer, we’ve taken hand-me-downs or bought resale items when it comes to everything else. And we donate what we no longer need. Oh yeah, and the drum set was new – Louis got a full size eight piece drum set on a clearance sale for $120 about 10 years ago.

We save for items we want (like our couch). We had a hand-me-down one that served great for a while, but Louis wanted a big one that all of us could sit on at once and it would double as a kid bed when guests came. We ended up saving and finally bought a really nice used sectional that had two backless sections that doubled as storage (bonus & I love dual-purpose!) and seats six adults without using the backless parts – it was on clearance at Alpha-Omega Thrift so we spent only $165 of the $200 we’d saved for it. (Yes, Louis was shopping, so we ended up buying $35 of future birthday gifts while we were there.) And one of my sisters said “let me crash here, this is comfy!”

The radio guy quoted the scripture about “where your treasure is, there your heart is also.”

Yes, my treasures are in my children, my family, my friends, the really important things in life. Our hand-me-down and thrift-store lifestyle helps me to understand that even though we have some cool stuff, it’s just temporary and I’m not really concerned with it. I mentally note that I’m wearing sandals from one sister, a skirt Christina grew out of that was a hand-me-down from a friend, and a shirt from another sister… all hand-me-downs!

I’m sure the radio guy is right. Our family is able to do as much giving as we do because we don’t spend “full retail” on temporary items. Our treasure is in heaven. Our treasure is the character growing in our six awesome blessings on loan from God…

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Tag: give

Mary Did Know, Do You?

Like this:

Life Goals

Like this:

Fighting the “Silent Killer”

Like this:

Waffle Blocks

Like this:

Pearson Christmas Party 2018

Like this:

Hand-Me-Downs

Like this:

If you liked it, please share!

Like this:

If you liked it, please share!

Like this:

If you liked it, please share!

Like this:

If you liked it, please share!

Like this:

If you liked it, please share!

Like this:

If you liked it, please share!

Like this:

If you liked it, please share!

Like this: