God’s Fireworks

June 7, 2020

God’s Fireworks

When Christina, Brian, and Becky were little, way back when Becky was going by the nickname of “Lori” and we had a big brown dog they named “Dakota” after a Disney song from a movie that went on repeat for easily two months… we lived in a house with three huge windows in the living room that opened to the huge front yard and made it easy to see the summer storm lightning shows. 

Dakota would hide under the table during the storms.  Christina and Becky had just watched the Fireworks over the Matanzas – our one family tradition that has never been interrupted for 16 years – and they comforted Dakota by saying, “it is all okay, Dakota, this is just God’s Fireworks in the sky.”

One of the first summer storms to pop up this year and we get this picture and the following video: beautiful examples of the volatility and beauty of nature.  The big girls had to tell the little ones the story of Dakota and how we came to call lightning shows “God’s Fireworks.”

We listened to the wind outside howl and thunder last night.  I’m reminded of the changes in seasons.  From drought so bad we had to carefully nurse our garden with deep watering twice daily to this rain so filling that our watermelons and tomatoes are splitting.

Rainy season and hurricane season are here.  Change.

We choose to embrace each change in life as it comes.  We adapt through changes.  Sometimes we don’t like the change: like being locked away, losing jobs, losing summer camps, losing scholarship opportunities, losing VBS, losing the potential for a house… etc.

But we overcome and rise with new goals and hopes. 

We shift our job focus from what makes money to what we love!  We stop watering the garden and now watch for the signs of splitting fruit.  We work harder.  We find other opportunities.  We chose to look for the good in each event.  We choose to see the setbacks as challenges to rise above. 

We choose not to be bitter.  This is a hard one.  We must understand two things: we only can move forward and we can only change ourselves.  We cannot control what circumstances we are thrown into but we can control our reactions to said circumstances. 

I choose love.  I choose joy.  I pray my children follow in my example and choose love and joy when life throws them circumstances that seem unfair.

The lightning reminds me today that the world is broken.  Lightning can cause damage.  Lightning can cause death.  But lighting shows are beautiful, awe inspiring dancing electrons in gorgeous flashes of bright light and colored thunderhead clouds.  I choose to see the potentially dangerous lighting show as beautiful: “God’s Fireworks”

I choose to see setbacks and losses as potential to rise with joy and allow the peace that passes all understanding to rule my heart.  Odd that lighting makes me think of contention and losses… but that’s my weirdly wired brain.

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Watching & Analyzing

Watching & Analyzing

April 27, 2019

I’ve always been a watcher.  I watch the world around me and (most of the time) analyze it.  I look at a beautiful blue sky and my mind says “wow, how pretty,” and quickly follows with “it won’t rain for the next few hours.”  (Yes, hours, we live in Florida – if you walk outside and don’t like the weather, go brush your teeth and check again.)

Honestly, I analyze too much.

I shouldn’t catch a glimpse of something and try to analyze it.

In relationships, that is nosy.  See someone and instantly turn on your inner Sherlock Holmes… (Four different cat hairs on her skirt, four cats – her house must be smelly… unless she uses that whatever-name-it-is-I-saw-on-tv multi-cat litter.  Is her purr-fume laced with tuna?)

That just isn’t nice.

In normal life, it can suck out the joy.

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I catch this glance of my angel sleeping.  Instant thought: “My Mom will love this.” Second thought: “She was two months old on Easter Sunday.”  Third thought as I’m sending my mom the picture: “Daddy never saw her.”  Followed quickly by a flood: Daddy didn’t get to hear about Christina flying, Lucas will not remember his Grandfather, they won’t get to learn how amazing Daddy’s brain was – like talking to an educated encyclopedia with an open mind.  He was always listening, always talking, always making connections where we couldn’t see them; always the analyst.

Within two minutes (from the time I took the picture until Mom texted back), my mind had sent my mood from joyful to sorrowful.  From excited about young life to regretting the passing of my Daddy.  I had just rode an emotional roller coaster at work and nothing had changed on my face.

I forced myself to refocus.

Daddy always expected Christina to achieve her dreams – he once told me to “look out, she has your determination and a friendlier world; just you watch what she does!”

Lucas loves watching family videos and listening to stories of his “Santa Boompa” told by his big sisters.

I inherited Daddy’s knack for soaking up knowledge (probably why I can make myself learn any new job rather quickly) and if you want to start me talking… (yes, the girls call it lecturing) enter at your own risk because I’ll make strange connections, see beyond what is easily seen, and read into situations for what “could be.”

I remind myself that we can always shift our focus to the positive, and that’s what Daddy would have wanted.  He didn’t want anyone sad when he left us.  He always wanted the joy, smiles, and laughter that he tried to cultivate.  So, now I’m back to joyful.

Then music runs through my head: “I Choose Joy!” (For King & Country – I love that song!)

Yes, I choose joy.  Everyday.  I pray you do too.

 

Type at you Later…

~Nancy Tart

Happiness Is…

When you close your eyes and see happiness, what do you see?

March 12, 2019

Happiness Is…

Each of us has a different view of happiness.  This is because we are all unique individuals with varying dreams, passions, interests, and desires!  Try this exercise:

Close your eyes.  Take a deep breath.  Think of the word, “happiness.”  What do you see?

For me, happiness is:

…Lucas racing his bike around the yard (he LOVES that bicycle)

…a clear bright blue Florida sky (hopefully with ocean sounds in my ears!)

…playing chef or chef’s assistant in the kitchen with family or friends with happy music playing (I LOVE the community feeling when there are two or more of us cooking together.)

…the sound of the waves, the feel of squishy sand, the salty sea smell (for perfection, add a surfboard.)

…the smell of sweet hay, the sound of farm animals, the sight of abundant fruit on trees and in a garden

…a bright, open, cheery home with a sanctuary for visiting relatives (Grandma suite, anyone?)

…every time I picture this perfection in my mind, I see my family.  Family, friends, community; living life together.  This is what I picture as happiness.

I often imagine heaven as a huge garden, overflowing with life, where all of us spend quality time with each other tending the animals and plants as we were designed to do (okay, I know that’s simple and I’m ignoring the obvious awesomeness of actually seeing Jesus in glory, but you know, I can dream.)  Happiness for me is being with my family.

A wise man said, “be sure if you join yourself to someone, they see happiness the same way you do.”

Another, “you can’t change someone, they are the only one who can choose to change themselves.”

Remember that you cannot be happy trying to force someone else into a mold you see.  Enjoy them as they are.  (We all have flaws, no one is perfect, and everyone is uniquely different!)  Don’t try to change others, just allow them to be who they are.  (A friend pointed out to me once that no one in the “Pooh-Bear” books “unfriend” Eeyore because he’s gloomy; they accept him as he is.)

When you close your eyes and see happiness, whom do you see with you?  Those are the ones you love.  That is what you treasure.  Cherish time with those who make you happy.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

Plans Change

Sometimes plans change; some life encouragement 🙂

November 3, 2018

Plans Change

Sometimes life just doesn’t go the way you want it to go.

You have to let it go.

Tonight I wanted to go to a get-together.  I’d been planning for about a week

Everything seemed to be working out okay; the washing machine showed up early (Amen!), Anastasia got dropped off before 4, Christina had packed up her “civies” (I still mentally laugh hearing her call regular clothes that.) in her bag when I dropped her at the Cyber Patriot qualification in the morning, and we just had to get the house clean and get everyone ready before 3:40, pick up Christina at 4, and head to the get-together – we’d be late, but there.

Then there was a reservation for 5:15pm.  No one else was working and I can’t cancel on them because it’s morally wrong to promise someone something and cancel an hour and a half before you have to pick them up.  My word matters.  And, I’m really thankful for my jobs!  I know God gives us the jobs we get and we are expected to do our best. (I look at it as “God wants them in my car for some reason!”)

Honesty.

I had an obligation to them.

Adjust plan: girls clean up and get ready by 6:15, when I was expected back, and we’d be late, but would still be able to hang out for a little bit.

Well, the plan got seriously adjusted!  I ended up having to cover starting at 3pm.  Picked Christina up at 4, then as I’m on the way there, another ride for 4:30 (yikes! I can’t teleport through traffic!) rolls in… long story short – it’s almost 7pm when I get home because I was late to both rides after Christina.  No one was ready.  And I can’t (legally) pack all 8 of us into the 4-Runner.  We are a 30 minute drive (usually 40 minutes with me driving because every traffic light in Saint Augustine always turns red when I’m three carlengths from it!) and it would take me about 15 minutes to get everyone ready.  Plus, to use the 4-Runner, we’d have to have left at least 2 people behind.  Nope.  So, we end up spending the night at home.  This was “cool” (per Jaquline) because we have awesome toys (per Anastasia), Christina can cook something good, and we’ll turn the front room into a dance party!

Sometimes a monkey wrench gets tossed into your plans, but if you learn to roll with it, you can turn it into a “look for the positive” teaching moment.  I love finding teaching moments in life!

Plan changed.

I have to let my plans go.

Accept that plans change and I have little control over it.  All I can control is my attitude toward it.  (I’m super thankful for my jobs!)  The last ride was a guy who had spent almost 40 years in the military (he chatted with Christina about the pros and cons) and a lady who had been a teacher and principal in St John’s County for 34 years (at one job her whole life)!  So just maybe, God wanted us to pick them up and encourage each other.  Only God knows!  (That’s me, looking for the positive!)

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Electric Season

Energy resonates in the clear skies of the seasons changing to autumn.

October 31, 2018

Electric Season

It’s officially autumn.

To me, it never seems like autumn until the sky goes that gorgeous “sky blue,” gentle cooler breezes tousle our hair, and there is a crisp energizing feel in the air.

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During these days, I remember the exhilaration I felt as a child when they first approached.

Our first “autumn” day we’d race outside, full of a new form of energy that totally required an outdoor escape.  If there was a swingset in the yard, (sometimes just a rope with a stick at the bottom) we were trying to touch the sky with our feet!  On our bikes, (we called them horses, since we loved horses but never had a real one) we would ride round and round the house, singing Sunday School songs at the top of our lungs.  If I ever had to describe the feeling in one word, it would be “freedom.”

Today the gorgeous electric blue sky makes me think about how God arranges things in seasons in our lives.  Sometimes, when a new season comes, it brings the exhilaration of freedom.  I’ve felt it before and not understood why.

Life seems to say, “you are trapped more than before, why are you happy?”

But my heart answers with a song called “Happy” because one verse basically says: bring it on, I’m happy and nothing can change that!

I imagine myself telling life that sometimes.

Because I have my root of happiness in Jesus, His joy is my strength, and even if life wants to throw stuff at me and claim I’m worse off in this new season than I was before (usually it’s that I can’t see the positive just yet), I know God has me in His hands – and I choose to be filled with that freedom exhilaration that comes with this new season!

Whatever God has for us, I sense the excitement, and I choose to focus on joy!  Let this next season begin!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Different Woods

How can splitting wood teach us about life?

October 10, 2018

Different Woods

Have you ever split wood?  As a child, I watched my Daddy split wood for a fireplace when we stayed at a cabin in the Smoky Mountains.  We camped all the time, so being in a cabin was a little different for us – we were actually going to spend that Christmas in an A-frame cabin with a big fireplace!  I was young, but remember being so excited.  We were praying for snow!

I’d helped chop wood a few times before this, but it was never splitting big round logs, it was always just cutting small roots or scrap wood from fallen trees discovered in the backyard so the scrap bits would fit in our firepit.  I’d always used this tiny ax. (Daddy called it a hatchet, and although he said “the Indians in Davy Crocket used weapons exactly like this,” we were warned NEVER to play with the hatchet.  We made “hatchets” out of wood to run around like Indians instead.)

At the cabin, Daddy was using the BIG ax, it had about a three foot handle, maybe four feet, with a weighted gleaming head.  Daddy would raise that ax up over his head, swing hard, and with a crash it would come down.  Most of the time, his blows would chop the round wood into three or four hunks.  Sometimes, the ax went thud and stuck.  Daddy would step on the wood, wiggle the ax, and go again.  Sometimes, the ax would take three of four cuts to split the wood.

My sisters, brother, and I were watching, fascinated at our Daddy’s strength, from what Mom considered a “safe distance” – I’m pretty sure we were inside watching through the window, but can’t be sure.  What I do remember, is what he said to us later.  It might have been a day or so later, but I remember the wood-splitting was fresh in my mind and we were sitting around the fireplace when he started talking.

“Did you see how it’s easy to cut one type of wood but harder to cut another?” Daddy asked.

We all nodded, my brother pointed out some “really tough woods” (oak).

“But I was using the same ax and I’m the same person, so it was about the same effort for each one,” Daddy said, “it’s the same with parenting.  God gave us each of you and you are all different in your own special ways.”  (The way he smiled at us when he said that made us look at each other and giggle.)

“We are the same parents, trying to use the same methods, but since each of you are different types of wood…” Here I’m sure someone yipped, “I’m this one!” (oak, of course) Daddy smiled but continued, “so we have to find different methods of teaching each of you so that in the end, we can tell God we’ve done our best.”

As I look at this memory, I realize that Daddy was probably encouraging my mom and himself (as we would have been about 8, 6, 4, 2, and almost here) and they were “early” in their own parenting journey.

This illustration of parenting is also an illustration of everything in life.  I’ve remembered this “different wood” lesson and applied it to most things in my life.  Teaching – each child is unique so it is understandable that they would each learn differently.  Friendship – each friend is different and  therefore has different likes and dislikes.  Parenting – YES, huge here, true.

Last Sunday, this memory was brought to the forefront because our pastor used chopping wood for his example of how we apply different metrics to each part of our lives.  If we judge ourselves by same metrics or measures when we strike a softwood (it shattered into perfect sticks) as when we are striking slightly petrified oak (crud, the ax stuck fast), we would be discouraged.  Just as we use different strokes and techniques when chopping different woods, we use different metrics or measures in evaluating ourselves in various areas of life.

Each area of life is unique, as we grow and change throughout our lives.  The measures we used ten years ago shouldn’t be the same measures we use today (we measure babies’ length in inches but adult height in feet).  We also should use different measures for different areas of our life.  For example: We may find challenges in using patience while trusting God is easy.  Just because patience is more of a challenge, doesn’t mean we are failing at being patient.

Thank you, God, for giving us easy examples to help us not judge ourselves too harshly.  Let us see our life progress through Your eyes.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Asian Blacks

Such beautiful new chicks to add to our flock!

September 20, 2018

Asian Blacks

About two weeks ago, we happened into Tractor Supply for feed when the girls spied the “cutest little chicks ever!”

Kimberly says, “Mom, they are on clearance!”

Since it was nearing the end of chick days, they had brought their money just in case.  We had just moved our latest toddler bunch into the small chicken run and were planning to start another batch of eggs.  When the chicks are at or below a dollar each, they cost less than us incubating our own.

Becky had $4, Kimberly had $8, and the little ones excitedly counted their money while the lady watched, rather amused.  Jaquline and Jillian each had a dollar and change.  The original count said 14 but a 15th was hiding in with the white ones.  Lucas hopped in his seat, “I have 1-2-3-4-5 quarters, I can buy him!”

So we brought home fifteen beautiful almost two-week-old Asian Black chickens.

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Since each chicken was a dollar plus tax, they are mostly Kimberly’s to care for, but even Lucas spends time with his little one.

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Jillian and Jaquline have been helping with food and care.

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Jaquline poses with her chicken.

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Jillian likes to tote hers in the egg basket!

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I have no idea how they find “their chicken” in all these look-alikes, but they seem to always be carting around “their” chicken.

What a beautiful addition to our flock!  (And a way to keep Kimberly occupied!)

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*Note: the pen they are in is the PVC “Daytime Run” we built about ten years ago.  In our yard, this is not predator-proof and the chicks need a heat lamp (or 85 degrees plus) so although the original design had a rabbit-wire floor and the lids were locked with hinges and a clasp (which was predator-proof), it has been modified for easy grazing.  The chicks are put in a smaller cage in the shed to keep them safe at night.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

An Attitude of Gratitude

June 24, 2018

Attitude of Gratitude

Have you ever felt depressed because something you planned for didn’t come to pass?  Something you wanted to do with someone didn’t pan out?  Have you ever thought you did everything you could but were still shoved down?

Sometimes an unexpected illness happens even when you are doing everything to keep yourself healthy.  That causes mountains of bills.  Maybe we are contract employees or making “too much” to qualify for assistance, yet we can’t afford insurance premiums.  Sometimes, even an insurance policy doesn’t help much.  Maybe, it turns $40K bills into $14K with “rate adjustments.” (That’s still $14,000!)   You thank God for discovering the cause and pray you can manage the enemy that infects your home so you can breathe.

Bills that big can bankrupt people.  Some medical providers will work with a former patient to take monthly payments.  But for some families, the additional $200 or $300 a month means no food.  (Yes, most will take $25 or $50 a month, but when you have six or eight different bills from one visit, that adds up to a lot.)   You know you have to pay it.  But you can’t manage it.  You can’t even go afford to visit the doctor for the required “follow-up.” You just pray.

Fiscally responsible people cancel all unnecessary expenses.  But when your annual clothing budget of $50 is already gone, you don’t go out to eat, you don’t do theaters, you don’t buy new things, you haven’t even replaced your broken couch with a $50 resale one, and you already spend less than $350 a month for food for 8 people, all you can do is cut food.  You just pray.

Or try to get a higher paying job.

But you’ve been applying for every job you think you have qualifications for in north and central Florida for over 20 months with only one interview and three emails claiming: “you are overqualified.”  That’s seriously frustrating.  You have no experience with “foodservice” or “retail” and all those jobs want experience.  You just keep applying; you pray each time you email, drop-off, or hand-in an application.  You pray God’s will for your job life and pray He opens a door for you.   You’ve expanded from a 20 mile commute to a 100 mile commute.  You just pray.

You can look for cheaper housing – but that’s hard when you are paying less than what you’d be required to pay for an income-restricted apartment.  You keep looking, but really don’t have any money to move anyway.  The home you’re renting is the cause of your medical illness and thus financial problems, so yes, you’d like to leave it; you just can’t afford to.  You just pray.

This is the time when it’s very hard to really mean “I’m believing God for my needs.”

Then you had planned to go visit family for a couple of days, but because of another unexpected expense, you find you won’t have the gas money to go.  Besides, if you miss work, you’ll just fall further behind in bills.

This is when you bury your head in your hands and scream.  You’ve been trying everything humanly possible, or so it seems, and something that appears it would be so simple for most people is just out of your grasp.  Driving 10 hours to visit your brother might as well be a mission to Mars.

You may not have control on the circumstances that have put you here, but you can control your attitude (how you handle this stage of life).

This is when you have to remember to encourage yourself.  You have to say “God, you are my Rock, my fortress, my help in time of trouble.  God, you are my provider, my father, and I thank you for life, health, and provision.”

You choose an attitude of gratitude.

You have to take stock in what you do have: you have a roof (even if it’s the cause of health issues you’ve never had), you have a job (your “unofficial second job” is what you love; just no paycheck yet), your children are doing well, your marriage is strong, and you have family and friends who love you.

The last three are the most important.

Family is life.

Money is just a currency of this world to give us stress.  We either stress because we don’t have enough and literally pray for our daily bread or stress because we have too much and worry about losing it.

I can choose to have an attitude of gratitude, be thankful for what God has gifted me and trust Him for everything else.  I want my children to see thankfulness and trust. This attitude works for every stage in life – valleys full of bills and mountains with plenty.

I choose gratitude – I choose to smile.  I choose to trust. I choose to rejoice.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Meet Brummen

June 21, 2018

Meet Brummen

Chef Brummen of Brantley Station didn’t start life dreaming of being the head chef in a mining colony more than a mile below sea level.

He began as a simple Grenadan lad.

Brummen studied and worked hard as a child and joined the Grenadan Guards at the earliest age allowed; twelve.  Brummen steadily and slowly ascended in rank until he was twenty-eight.

One night, he and his fiancée attended a party with several other Guards.  A Guard with whom Brummen already had conflict, was thoroughly drunk and insulted his fiancée.  Brummen reacted in anger and punched him.  This strike resulted in the insulting Guard’s death.  Brummen sank into a depression which expressed itself in a growing narcissism.

Brummen was tried by court martial.  The result would have been execution except that one member, who had been mentoring Brummen and watching his career, suggested banishment instead.

A friend suggested that he apply for a position on the newly designed underwater mining colony as it would be under Guard regulation but was a Qualizidian operation.  Brummen’s fiancée spurned his invitation to join but Brummen was accepted as the head (and only) chef for Brantley Station.

Since his galley becomes the place unruly or disobedient Guards are sent, Brummen’s experience seems to prove his narcissistic view of humanity.  But when Brummen discovers a strange, oddly acting boy stealing from his galley, he finds himself drawn toward the child with feelings he had buried. Quickly, Brummen realizes Ethan is no pirate child thief, and instead of letting the world “follow its course” regarding the boy, Brummen intercedes to keep Ethan on Brantley Station.  He won’t admit it to anyone, but he even will try to claim the lonely child as his.

Learn more about Brummen and follow Ethan’s story in the Brantley Station Saga!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

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