I’m sitting at the desk at gym, taking payments and checking liability waivers for our open gym one Friday at noon (every Friday noon to 1pm is Open Gym – basically, allow your kiddos to expend all their energy just before naptime!). She pulls up into the handicapped parking space. I smile.
This woman is such an amazing encourager to me! She has overcome more physical and medical challenges in her life than I could ever understand. She has five little ones all five or younger and normally is accompanied by at least one nephew in the same general range. She is such a blanket of calm mothering in a sea of chaos – and her smile! Such joy! She chooses joy!
I call her the “Chaos of Joy Mother” because you’d think her life with five littles zero to five years old would be chaos. (I see some of her posts on Facebook and yes, it’s laughable, amazing, lovable chaos!) Add in farm animals, countless stunt-double-training apparatuses in their kid-ninja-warrior yard, kids turning the house into ninja training course, and homeschooling… I love her beautiful chaos! She’s the type of calm mother I hope I am. Minus the goat and stretching births out a bit, one of my girls pointed out that there were some family tales we turned into “The Funny Sisters” stories that are probably relatable.
She encourages me by her love of life! She is always doing something new or allowing her daughter to try something new. They grow in love, life, and faith by expounding on the adventures life hands them. This is such an encouragement to me. I pray for them and thank God that I see her. She probably doesn’t see herself as an encourager, but she totally is by the joy she shares!
Sometimes chaos is where you find your joy. I know some of the craziest moments in my life are where I felt I couldn’t do anything else BUT find joy in Jesus and look up.
While I’m driving to my first school on our afterschool pickup route, I happen to hear “Season, a Joy Bringer” and I smile at her anecdotes. She is always focusing on how to share joy. I feel the Chaos of Joy Mother is always sharing something she finds joyful with us – some see it as joy (like me) and some as craziness (are you kidding, you did/allowed what?!). In our journey of life, I am super thankful for those who encourage me. I pray I am an encouragement to others.
I’m super thankful for the Chaos of Joy Mother because she and her little angels always make me smile with their love, wildness, and crazy adventures!
I’m praying for her family. I’m praying for strength, wisdom, and peace in her heart. This woman is the Challenger of Norms. She has encouraged me over many years. When my daughters ask if I have a best friend, this woman comes to mind. She has allowed me to speak openly. We can talk honestly with each other about our respective challenges, joys, disappointments, fears, mountain highs, and valley lows without judging each other.
She was the friend who taught me it was safe to be vulnerable to another adult (other than my husband). She taught me I can be real about the challenges I face with the life I chose. Often we feel trapped in the life we chose, especially if our choice is considered “unconventional” or “unrealistic” in today’s world. This is because the world tries to isolate us into tiny corners. Public schooled here. Homeschooled there.Medical challenges in your children here.Healthy children there.Stay-at-home-moms here.Working moms there.Struggling business owner families here.Lower class, middle class, upper middle class, lower middle class… Etc. Society tries to put us all into tiny boxes and keep us isolated there.
This was not how God intended! We are intended to work together! Younger are to learn from elders, we are to speak truth and encouragement into the lives of others, we are to build each other up and edify. You can’t do that if you feel trapped into silence because someone’s response to you saying you feel stressed, please pray for me ends up being “you shouldn’t have done xyz” instead of just saying “yes” or praying right there. I always heard “your troubles are just because you have too many kids” – um… no. Our financial troubles came from poor decisions (paying off credit cards instead of house), medical unknowns (my crazy hospital issue), or issues beyond our control (losing jobs due to forced government shutdown debacle, someone using a car without permission and wrecking two others, someone rear-ending and totaling a car that is too old for us to get a replacement, etc)
The Challenger of Norms taught me to embrace the life I chose and enjoy each stage of it unapologetically. I have taken that to heart. She has managed to keep joy and purpose even in the face of debilitating medical issues facing her precious children. Once I mentioned how I felt bad speaking about how I was challenged when she faces so much. She told me only she walks her journey just as only I walk mine. That I’ve heard in my heart for over a decade. I have to lean on others who are choosing joy in order to encourage me to choose joy in my challenges.
We can discuss homeschooling options and challenges without comparing our children one to another because both of us understand that each child has their own unique challenges and strengths. We can discuss our challenges and encourage each other in mothering without judging. We can share our challenges and strengths in our respective marriages and understand that neither of us are alone in our respective struggles. We can boast on our men and laugh at their craziness and somehow that actually makes me feel more thankful for the blessings we both have.
She taught me that dropping in unannounced was totally acceptable for friends. We could show up at each others’ homes and just jump into whatever was going on – from parties to cleaning to pool parties to bonfires to just chatting about everything while our toddlers to teens entertain each other and our babies fall asleep. My home is now always open and I don’t really care what it looks like (Louis and the girls generally keep it in “mostly acceptable” condition anyway). We have games and fun every Sunday as that is officially our “family day” that we try to keep open. I hope to build relationships with my children, their friends, and families of their friends so that friends and family feel comfortable just showing up at my house if they ever need it or want it.
What I really learned from my friend is to live life as I want to, as God leads me, and let everyone else think and say whatever they want without really caring. Oh, I listen, but when it’s something that directly challenges the lifestyle God has given me – my amazing husband, our wonderful children, our happy amazing life – I smile, nod politely, and let it in one ear and out the other. I am who I am.
Sometimes we just need someone to affirm we are human just like everyone else and someone who will tell us the truth while allowing us to speak our emotions openly. We know the truth. I am loved. I am chosen. I am blessed! Sometimes we need to speak our emotions out loud to get them in line with our truths – and that, it when we find out where true friends are. Those who listen, agree they are human just like we are, and speak encouragement into our lives.
I am so thankful that God allowed me to overcome my insane fear of talking to adults just in time to make an amazing friend who, together with her awesome family, has blessed me and my family in more ways than I can possibly ever list.
Be that friend to someone today. Listen. Be human. Speak truth in love.
September 3, 2022 (Timewarp story from August 15, 2022)
Lucas was bouncing all over the house. “Mom! I repeated my oath!” “Mom! I went with Daddy to his meeting!” “Mom! I am part of Daddy’s meeting people now!” “I’m a cadet, look at my uniform!” “I get to go to the boom place with real cannons that blow up!”
And that was in the first three seconds after the door opened!
Anyone who knows Lucas knows that since he could talk he was excited about stuff. Anything he’s excited about, everyone else will know about within seconds. From “BIG TRUCKS” to dressing up in Daddy’s shoes to baby-surfing and everything in between; Lucas does everything with a full engagement and excitement that makes me smile.
Lucas became a cadet member of the SCV (Sons of Confederate Veterans) – Louis went on this discovery of our ancestors after getting Ancestry.com a couple years back and traced my father’s family back to Quakers in England who settled in Pennsylvania and refused on religious grounds to fight in any conflict until my Grandfather Pearson served the military as a baker and my Daddy joined the Air Force in the Vietnam War. Louis’ family, on the other hand, goes back to serious stakeholders in Florida culture and to Pvt. Gadiart W. Tart of Company D, 25th Division in the Florida military when it was under confederate leadership.
Lucas is super excited! Part of his “meetings with Dad” have been visiting battle sites, learning history, watching reenactments, and soon, (which Lucas is SUPER excited about) taking part in a reenactment – Lucas doesn’t know when, but “soon!” as he tells me. His idea of “taking part” is probably about the same as he and Landon “took part” in the last gymnastics meet they were both at: having a friendly hour-long wrestling match while their sister and cousins, respectively, competed. He does have a snappy uniform!
I’m looking forward to hearing all of the history he learns (even the girls remember the story of “the Flags of Florida” live presentation they saw at a family meeting where two ladies did a skit of two women following Florida’s return to the Union and they discussed each different flag that had flown over their land). I’m looking forward to the father-son excursions they will go on.
Meanwhile, he keeps coming in to our room to point out his paper that shows he’s a cadet member. (This sits right over Louis’ paper) So the usual comment is “see, I’m just like Dad!” and that, is what really makes me smile!
Now, though… I understand the insane shock that caused by parents not to jump with joy when I showed off my ring and announced I was engaged. #TotalAndCompleteShock
Once Upon a Date
August 2, 2022
Nineteen year old me was crazy with excitement at 10pm at a bowling alley until 1am, (cosmic bowling in 2002) but my dad looked like he’d been shot with bright headlights in the dead of a new moon night. Now, though – I understand the insane shock that caused my parents not to jump with joy when I showed off my ring and announced I was engaged. Total and complete shock. At 10pm after a long day at work, hearing the same news from one of my kids overloaded my tired brain; I bet I looked like they’d shone ultra-blue headlights in my face on a new moon night!
Now I’m praying I can be a godly mentor for my daughters (all of them, but especially Christina at this moment) and my son. I am so super thankful for those I consider mentors I’ve learned from in my life. Sometimes they were longtime friends, my moms (one God gave me at birth, the other God gifted me when I married Louis), and some were in my life for a few days, one meeting, or a season.
I’m listening to Christina with her planning (wedding once she has her masters in 2025) and discussing life plans for the future, and I’m smiling because I remember me twenty years ago and “We’ve Only Just Begun” by The Carpenters was filling my brain on repeat.
Really odd little tidbit? I was engaged on July 20, 2002 & Christina’s engagement date was “Anastasia’s birthday” but 1am – aka July 20, 2022. And time? Cosmic bowling ended at 1am on really July 21… I don’t do coincidence (haha).
Jillian’s friend gave her a Rubik’s Cube to solve. After a full day off and on of spending probably two or three hours attempting it, Jillian gave it to Jaquline and said, “this puzzle is too complicated!”
Jaquline has been trying her hand at it since. She’s one of those kids who stick to the problem until it gets solved so I’m sure eventually she will figure it out. On the way to work this morning Christina and I hear, “oh really!” and a wail.
“What?” we both ask.
“I was sooooo close!” and she passes the cube to Christina in the front seat with one side one square from being all one color. Christina, who has solved a few Rubik’s Cubes in her time, suggests, “start with the corners and try to match the colors two blocks at a time.”
Another wail a few seconds later and the furious almost silent swish, tap, tap, swish of the plastic blocks being moved around. Another wail. Swish, tap, tap, tap… “Yes!” Tap, tap, swish, swish. Dramatic groan, “this is too complicated.”
Encouragement from the front seat, “you can get it,” and “keep trying!”
“Roll On” by Alabama comes through my head.
Life sometimes seems like a Rubik’s Cube.
You get everything lined up the way you think it should be and turn the corner to discover… bam! It isn’t lined up! Fix that problem and solve that issue, turn another corner and nothing looks in order. Changes happen. I think of watching a younger friend when I was younger. He could solve the cube in whatever mess it was within what appeared to be a few twists.
All of us in life have been given Rubik’s Cubes aka “Life” to solve and various levels of frustration mount as we try to solve the puzzle by ourselves. Sometimes everything looks like it is lining up, but we turn a corner and look at a mess. Sometimes we created it, sometimes we didn’t have any control over it, sometimes it was messed up by someone we love or trusted. It isn’t lining up the way we wanted.
The first normal reaction is irritation and frustration – that stage where we try to fix it ourselves by pulling us up by our own bootstraps. In my experience those bootstraps generally tangle us up instead of help us regain our footing. I imagine we are pulling our footing right out from under ourselves – funny, right?
Or we could play the blame game – doesn’t solve anything and only makes us feel bad and alienate us from whomever we consider “the problem.”
Or we could hand our Rubik’s Cube of life to God and let Him direct our puzzle. This is like watching a master puzzle solver. Swish. tap. tap. swish. That looks worse… Tap. tap. swish. swish. Wow. How is that possible? Now all sides are each a solid color.
It looks like magic in the master’s hands.
Next time I feel like wailing because something just isn’t lining up, I hope I remember that image of the Rubik’s Cube in a master puzzle solver’s hands and think of how my life is like a Rubik’s Cube and I need to hand it to God and let Him solve my crazy mess – lead me the way He wants my life to go and then I can see the beauty of order only He can see in my chaos.
Crazy writer’s brain thoughts, I know, but hopefully it makes you smile.
On January 4th, a beautiful day with misty rainshowers threatening the gorgeous parade ground at Camp Blanding, I watched both of my cadets march in their pass and review (ceremony parade at the end of the 2019-2020 winter encampment). I almost cried two years ago when it was just Christina. As I watched this day, I was overwhelmed with pride and a bit of anxiety.
Kimberly, short blondie (about middle in each picture); in her barracks, AF Blues, ABUs
Kimberly is twelve. My spunky little fireball has taken her future by the horns the last two semesters and spent her twelfth birthday, as she’d planned it for almost two years, attending her first Civil Air Patrol meeting as a cadet. I’m not sure Mom (me!) is ready for her to take on so much independence just yet. I’m missing my snuggly, grinning, dog-wrestling toddler who used Sheba as a pillow-pet before we knew those toys existed.
Christina was OIC of food services. (In English, your know, civie-speak, please?) That means she was the basically the kitchen manager for encampment. I’m sure it was far more detailed and with at least some oversight, but that’s the break-down bare-bones version of her staff role this time. I’m sure, based on these pictures, that she is fairly comfortable giving orders.
Christina is far left in both pictures. Winter Encampment 2019/2020
Moments
like this both amaze me and, honestly, almost scare me.
How can my
babies be so mature already?
How did 16
and 12 years flash by?
Life goes
by so quickly. I’ve learned to just
release and enjoy. Watch them grow and
smile as they fly. I love learning the
young women they are becoming! Thank
you, Jesus, for the opportunity to be a mom.
Thank you for Christina and Kimberly and for the time I’ve had with
them. I pray for them daily.
I pray as
they soar. I pray they keep their eyes
on you, Jesus, reach for the stars, determine to achieve what appears
impossible, and reach down to help others on their climb.
I’m sure that’s just the misty rain in my face… or are those bits of joyful tears?
Parade is done, rain begins to fall, and we wait in the van for the cadets to change into civies for the trip home.
“Freedom!” yelps the stranger with a bag; “Mom, no pictures,” but she smiles anyway.
Now I get to hear their challenges, thrills, new experiences, friends, and new goals they’ve faced and discovered on the long ride home. Homecomings. I am beginning to understand my parents’ tears on our Christmas surprise (when almost all of us showed up together!)…
I love how children ask
questions. Sometimes their questions
make you go search something. Like “what
is a rainbow?” or “why are leaves green?”
Sometimes their questions mirror
your own; but those you won’t speak.
You know, questions that your
doubting mind asks but your thinking heart understands.
“Why are you crying?” I ask.
My little girl is riding with me to go pick up two of her big sisters, “why did Aunt Mary die? Why is Mandy’s mom gone? Jay is a baby; he will never remember his mom.”
Her tears fall as she speaks. I let her finish talking. My heart aches. I ask those questions in my head too.
“I miss my baby sister too.” I
start, I want to connect with her heart. “Our world is broken because of sin.” She nods, she has heard this too.
“I know,” she is still slowly
crying, “but she loved Jesus since she was little like me.” (Mary
had told them once that she was five when she promised Jesus her heart. I was
there. She was telling everyone about
Jesus and was just five years old.)
Jaquline didn’t know how complex her aunt’s life had become so
fast. Because of sinful controlling people
in her life that kept her bogged down, in fear of her life or her family’s
life, and assaulted her mentally as they tried to keep her quiet and separate her
from anyone who truly loved her. As a
young teen, some guy misused her, showed her that from a certain spot he could
see her father’s bedroom, and told her one shot through the window would kill
the man she loved the most. He was the
first to rip her young heart to shreds with his awful controlling self – then
he had the gall to continue to threaten her when she moved 300 miles away! Others treated her like dirt; lying about
those she loved and people who cared about her until she actually believed these
lies and isolated herself from those who would have helped her.
I could hate these people. Instead I pray for them.
But she’s my baby sister. There was a part of me that wanted to go “Good
Citizen” on their carcasses. But I know
Jesus died for them just like He died for me and I am supposed to love my
enemies.
Switch back to my car on the
interstate with my nine year old sitting shotgun with silent tears crawling
down her fair cheeks. This all flashes
really fast so the same song is still playing.
“Do you ever think about where Aunt
Mary is now?” Jaquline says. Newsong’s “My Heart is Already There” was playing in
the background.
“Yes.” All the time. That comforts me. “She’s with Jesus. Can you imagine? Being in His presence and seeing his face?”
Jaquline giggles. “Maybe all her
puppies will be there.” (Mary loved animals and was always trying to
get a dog, but always the guy she lived with didn’t want one.)
“Remember the pictures of her as a
baby chasing Boodle?” I ask (cutest little
Maltese my family had twenty years ago) Jaquline laughs. “I bet she’s petting him instead of chasing
him now.”
“I ask Jesus why Aunt Mary is gone.”
Her voice is distant. “He doesn’t answer.”
I sighed, “do you know why Jesus
made us?”
“To be with Him.” Bingo.
“Yes, He wanted a relationship with
us. He loves each of us. He didn’t want Mary to die, but now she is
with Him all the time. Only God knows
when each person’s time comes to die. We
all will die one day.”
“I always hope to die when I’m old
like Boompa,” Jaquline said. “I’m not so
sad for Boompa, but I’m so sad for Aunt Mary.
I’m sad for Grandma.” Yes. Same
for me. I miss my father immensely. I miss my sister. I can’t fathom the depth of grief for my
mother.
“Jesus will comfort Grandma. We have to help love her too.” I say.
“We can be Jesus’ arms and hug her!”
Jaquline’s tears have dried a bit and she’s now thinking about serving
others. She loves helping; it usually
brings her happiness.
“Yes.” I smiled at her as we
parked. “And sometimes Jesus uses her
arms to hug you, too.”
Big smiles return.
Yes. I totally miss my sister. I grieve for the harshness she ended up living through for the last few years of her life. 23. Her life’s clock stopped so short, only 23 years. I always dreamed of her silly dancing at our Christmas parties for ages, smiling her beaming-happy-smile as she watched nieces and her daughter walk shakily down their aisle to their forever-love, dancing with her sons at their weddings, encouraging my teenagers in their Christian walk toward womanhood, and living her new-found free life focused on her three little angels. Their plans, maybe not together, but at least working together for the best – the children. So, yes, I asked that question. “Why, God? Why is my baby sister dead?” It seemed so surreal for me. No body. No last look. No nothing. I keep expecting her to drive up, drop the littles off, and enjoy some of whatever food we have just cooked.
I know this world is broken by
sin. I know it wasn’t ever in God’s plan
for us to have death. I know my
grandmothers, father, and baby sister are in heaven in the presence of God. I have hope I will see them again. But yes, I did ask those questions. Yes, my heart aches for my family who must
live without her. I pray for all of us
daily. I find it hardest to pray for
those who have hurt her, but that is my challenge. I must love them as Jesus did.
My mind drifts back:
“…He has called us too! He has
called us too! We are all disciples!
Even me and you!” The little voice yells each stanza of the VBS
song. Jumping with excitement, “did I
get them all right?”
I had been singing along and am
raking something for a vegetable bed. “Yes,
Mary, don’t bounce on my tilled dirt.” We laugh and she points at her shoeprints.
“Yippeeeeeee!” She hollers and
spins. “Where’s Easter! I’m gonna sing it to Easter!” And she runs off in a singing blur, little
bright blue eyes sparkling with life, long wispy blonde hair flying about in
the Georgia breeze, she’s going to find that silly yellow hen that actually
loves to be captured by Mary and sits contentedly tucked in her arms. I look up to see my vibrant baby sister
swinging on the swingset with Easter in her lap, projecting her beautiful voice
with some soul-singer power as she practices the song for tomorrow’s VBS
service. (You know, where the kids show
off to the adults what they’ve learned in the week) Mary would tell the
world that she asked Jesus in her heart about two years later. She had such a love for life and care for
others. No one is perfect. We aren’t Jesus. I love her for her heart. I will always love my baby sister. No, loss
never “gets easy” but I do have hope in Jesus that I will see her again. And that keeps me out of falling into
bitterness. I can’t allow my grief to turn into bitterness. I can’t be Rose from Overcomer; I have to
choose joy.
And just like a soundtrack to my
life, as I slide back in the car with the two older girls in tow, For King and
Country’s “I Choose Joy” is shouting from the speakers.
I’ve been working on two projects for each of my children. One was a crocheted blanket for each – king size, crafted from their favorites in a pattern they chose. I’ve only completed one. The second is about 15 rows from completion, but I haven’t worked on it since Thea was born. It took me 17 months for the first half of Christina’s, but during one superbowl at Louis’ dad’s house, I completed the other half! So I’m fast, but it will likely be the next week I have off – and then I’ll start on the third of seven.
The second was started in December 2016. It looks like a simple book, right?
Actually, I started a journal for Christina.
It tells family stories, I write my Bible study notes, discuss issues, and write my prayers. I tell “her story” from my perspective starting from the last page moving forward. I saved the fourteen pages in between this story and my “journal” for family. I am going to ask women in our family to write encouragement and blessing to her in their own hand in the journal before I pass it on to her.
I’ve got a central core of stories I will have in each journal – all will be slightly different because I never write the same exact words each time.
I want to write all the wisdom I’ve heard in stories from my grandmothers, mothers, fathers, and mentors in a way my children can read them when they choose. Maybe they will be encouraged, challenged, or just smile realizing that they are not alone in a struggle they feel slightly too proud or too embarrassed to ask for help about. I try to relay life and our journey in these bits. I manage to write at least once a week and direct most of my writing as if I’m talking to her. This also helps me to process my thoughts. I also have a required study day if I forget. (Which, yes, sometimes I read without studying, but at least once a week I remember to write my study!)
Such a simple little book. It holds our family memories, stories, and encouragement for a young woman. (I need to get busy on Becky’s as they are growing up too quickly for me!)
A meme shared by their uncle provides for a funny, entertaining morning!
March 2, 2019
Goofy Meme
One thing Christina and Becky like to do is look through my FaceBook feed.
Hilarious laughter exploded one morning as I showed them a meme one of my brothers shared:
Becky adds: “Me: Uncle Buddy, Uncle ChaCha, how did you get in my birth room?”
Kimberly, Jaquline, and Christina went into laughing debate over which of their uncles would fit which roles.
Christina and Becky decided this would be the most awesome thing to do after their first baby’s birth. Becky started talking about how it would be her and her husband mimicking this exchange.
I told them to do a ToyActs video play with it. (Don’t know if they will.)
This did turn the entire breakfast table and schoolroom into a discussion that led into movie/book differences, how nerdy our family is, a few recitations from the movie, and one of the girls looking at Thea and saying, “You’ll understand this soon enough.”
Their interactions certainly kept an amused smile (and a few chuckles) on mom’s face.
A birth story of our little angel (and a slideshow of proud siblings & family!)
February 22, 2019
The Story of Baby Thea
If you’ve been following my blog, you know I was growing my seventh little angel.
Today, I get to write the story of her arrival!
On February 19th, a beautiful Tuesday morning, my day started normally. During my 32 minute drive to work, the Baby started thinking there was not enough room and my body did the stretching contractions (Braxton-Hicks) that is very normal for me in the last month or two before birth. I didn’t think much of it, really. After my boss left for appointments, one of my office companions, Lily, a beautiful brown and white pittie belonging to my boss, started laying at my feet and wouldn’t let me go anywhere without her! This was a bit of a warning to me because Sheba (my Aussie mix) always does this to me when I’m in active labor. I left at one (normal time) to get to Christina and then my midwife appointment.
Christina had been babysitting, finished some errands at the college so she would be ready for the summer semester, caught the bus to 207 (the road I take into town), and was waiting for me. Along the way, my midwife texted to reschedule the appointment to Thursday and I laughed during my voice-text because I was very tired and that worked great for me. I added, “or when Baby is ready,” as a joke because my babies have all come on or after the due date. Everyone had been rooting for a February birth since the official “due date” was February 24th, and except for Lucas, my wee ones were between 9 and 13 days “overdue” so I usually ignored the due date and just gave a general month (in this case, I’d been saying March).
I got Christina, teased her about driving (she’s recently received her learner’s permit), and we headed home. Sheba was acting odd, I was starving; Louis had made lasagna Monday so I ate a huge plate and took a short nap.
When I got to gym with Becky (her class is on Tuesday, the others are all Wednesday), the contractions were still there, but, like I said, that is normal for me. It had been happening off and on already for about a week and a half, so I just went about work because they were easy to ignore. Some friends and I chatted about babies as I was leaving, and someone said, “you know about your body by now, right?” I laughed, “each is different, but I’m still thinking March.”
Wow, was I wrong.
As Becky texted Christina and Louis to tell them we were off & headed to pick up Christina at CAP, Becky said, “Mom, I can’t drive us home, but if the baby keeps contracting like that, maybe Christina can.”
We laughed. Part of the driving restrictions on a learner’s permit forbid night driving for the first few months; but we always teased Christina that she’d have to drive home in the dark if I was in labor.
Home, I was starved, but my belly felt full after four strawberries. I took a shower and crashed. I kept waking up every couple hours, but I’m a light sleeper so that’s also normal. Each time, though, I noticed contractions. I’d check my phone just to see what time it was. Midnight. 1:40. 2:30. 3:50. At almost 4, I realized I was sweating and I decided to wait for fifteen minutes (so the water softener cycle was finished) and take a shower. The next glance at my watch showed 4:19. I took a shower and the first contraction after the water hit was very strong. I felt movement inside me. “Wow, you sure you’re ready?” I asked. I was sure that was just a fluke and usually the warm water calms contractions down. When the next two made my legs feel like jelly, I got out of the shower and crawled back into bed. The phone said 4:35. I wasn’t about to wake anyone or call Misti for three oddly strong contractions.
I tried to sleep. I had about two hours before I had to get ready for work.
At somewhere before 6am, I tried getting ready for work. I had to stop and breathe through contractions that were easy to time and I felt the baby moving slowly down inside of me. I was about to wake Louis but ended up stretching through a contraction. We have a mind link, I think. Louis woke up as I was stretching. He goes into mega cleaning and question mode. This is his serious mode. He has been through it enough to know we were going to have a baby this morning – or at least today. He told me to call Misti, he woke the kids up to help clean (normally, we clean before bed, but they had been in a non-cleaning mood the previous night), and directed the house with efficiency. I was restless, so kept walking around in between. Christina and Becky didn’t want to get out of bed. I went into the barracks to find out why not.
“Mom! You can’t have the baby in here!” Christina shrieked, covering her head.
“So, get up please and help Daddy with cleaning. Y’all should have done that last night. Once you finish, you can go back to bed, but he’s really stressing about the house and people coming so please help.”
No answer. I could feel another contraction creeping up. “Okay, you have about 20 seconds before I get another contraction and…”
Christina bolted, “MOM! I’m up! I’ll help Dad! GET CONTRACTIONS OUT OF MY ROOM!”
Becky was up too. Kimberly was definitely awake. Mission accomplished. I went back to the kitchen table. My “leave” alarm reminded me to text or call my boss. 6am though, I figured I should just text – plus I didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment.
Misti showed up (can’t remember if the house was clean, but based on the voices and giggling and a movie being on, I’d guess it was straightened). Mom was on the way, she told us she had to be at one of my brother’s promotions at 8am. The girls had turned on “The Two Towers” and as Louis walked by during the Uruk-hai production scene and he ordered, “Turn that off, you can see a real birth soon enough.” I can’t remember if the result was “Wild Kratts” or “Dumbo” but there was something far less messy on the tv a minute later. (I did hear one of the teenagers or preteens quip, “Mom will sound like an orc.” Louis and I laughed. We’re nerds.)
By 8:30, I was immune to the world. I heard Misti’s voice, smelled Louis (I was leaning on him), and faintly heard background voices. I was focused on this job.
8:42am and our little one came into the world, veiled. Misti took the bag off and the Baby screamed to test the limit of her lungs! (We didn’t know Baby was a “she” just yet!) Baby opened her eyes fully and stared up at me. Then she screamed to rattle the roof again. The dogs were barking. We discovered our Baby was Thea!
Welcome to our crazy world, Theadora Taliesyn Tart. You are loved and cherished!
Theadora (after her great-grandfather Melvin Theodore Pearson) means “gifted by God” and Taliesyn (feminine form of your grandfather’s favorite character from a Celtic legend) means, “one with the shining brow, one who sings wisdom.” And Daddy chose the nickname “Thea” because he likes it. (Your uncle texted that he’d call you “3T” – yes, Daddy searched for two “T” names we both liked!) I kept both names the same length, since that’s what we’ve done – all of the children’s names have the same number of letters in the first name and middle name. Theadora 8 letters, Taliesyn 8 letters – told you we are nerds.
Mom (Grandma Joanne in the pictures) came back with a shower of baby girl goodies! (And, yes, this is why she’s in such cute clothes once we managed to get them on her!)
Theadora, I pray you always feel the love of your family as you wiggle your way up to adulthood. I pray you feel the warmth and see the light of God’s love reflected in the faces of your sisters and brother, mother and father, aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins. We have accepted the honor of being your guides to lead you to Jesus, to raise you in love, and to give you room to find, develop, and follow the passion of life God has rooted within you. You are a daughter of God, a precious gift to us, and chosen to bring light through your smile.
Becky said I can’t post a baby story without her pictures! So here is a little slideshow:
Lucas kept trying to “pet” and “kiss” Baby Thea
Christina & Thea (oldest & youngest)
Lucas said “you are my love, Baby Thea!”
Grandma Joanne & Thea
Christina and Becky are already vying for who gets the baby
