Tag: schedule

Easter Surprise!

April 5, 2021

Easter Surprise!

Becky has been spending six weeks with Grandma up in Tennessee visiting family and traveling around. The best part I’m sure being the special time with Grandma.

Originally, I thought she would be back just before Easter, however, it became April 5th return in time for her dentist appointment and braces adjustment.

I try very hard to be a mom who lets her children slowly develop independence. I let my older girls plan their schedules, agree or deny to work outside jobs like babysitting or dogsitting or volunteer time, choose their college classes, lay out their educational and financial goals, etc.

They start on their journey toward independence as soon as they can pick clothing by choosing to dress themselves and it expands as their responsibility grows. I mean, one of our main goals as parents (mine as a mom, at least) is to raise responsible and independent adults, right?

I was honestly sad about the thought that, for the first time, one of my babies would not be with us for Easter.

Christmas and Easter are big holidays in our house.

Christina and Kimberly have both missed New Years due to encampment, but we don’t do much there anyway except stay up late and watch movies like “Holiday Inn.” (Sometimes the big girls buy sparkling grape or apple juice and toast in the New Year.)

I know that as they grow there will be holidays were we are not all together. I know this. I try not to let that make me sad. But in a hidden back spot in my mother heart, it does.

When Easter came, Becky texted me to say they were on the way. It’s a loooong drive from Tennessee. I expected Monday.

At church, I dropped my Thea at the nursery, Lucas and Jillian were at kid’s church, Christina serving, and I was sitting with Louis, Kimberly, and Jaquline. As I sang, the first song was one of my favorites, I reminded myself to be thankful for my family and chose not to be sad about Becky not being with us.

Then this face smiled at me.

I found myself crying and overwhelmed with emotion. Thankful beyond belief, happier than I thought I would be, Becky and Mom had surprised us by showing up for service!

What an amazing Easter surprise! Christina cried when they popped into the nursery before coming to service! (And she had recently lamented that no one ever surprises her.)

Thank you, Jesus, for my amazing family and for all You give us!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Brantley Station Brain

October 19, 2020

Brantley Station Brain

You know, I’ve been a bit behind on posting blogs the past two weeks. This is because my brain has been in Brantley Station and Feli’tor and Devonia and Nilon. We just finished moving. I finally got my computer fixed after not having it for over a year and a half! (Writer in me dying because I have to borrow a computer and it’s never on my schedule!) The first weekend when we were done moving, I sat outside on the front porch watching Jillian, Lucas, and Thea play and wrote 5 pages in a notebook in my tiny, space-saving cursive with zero margins and front and back top to bottom. Louis came out and said, “you need a computer.”

It is also time.

While I was feeling dark, it was hard to write about happiness and peace. I did some freaky villain handiwork writing that almost freaked me out, but I couldn’t touch my children’s books that are bright and sunshine. I just couldn’t get back into their joyful world despite trying.

Now? I feel free again. I am finding joy everywhere. I am getting to play legos with Lucas and Thea, sit outside in the hot Florida wind and watch them play like the wild crazy children they are, read other authors, and build train tracks and work outside with my family.

Now my brain is back in my worlds.

I’m working on The Apprentice, which will be the fourth in the Brantley Station Saga following The Protector. In this book, Ethan will face another odd change and meet a new set of characters brought by the new cycle! I stepped back into Ethan’s shoes and wiggled my toes around. I’m so excited to introduce Makayla! (Sneak peek will come soon!) I put on Ethan’s determination to find positivity in every task. I looked at the new challenges through his perceptive logic. I felt his warmth at blooming friendships as he understands the connections he has never really noticed. The narrative shifts a little as Ethan begins to see his world just a little differently.

So I’m officially in Brantley Station Brain right now. My dreams are even about Ethan, Makayla, and Corey!

With so much flowing onto the keyboard (my keyboard! yippee!!), I’m hoping to have the final released just after Thanksgiving… in time for Christmas!

Got to go as my Brantley Station Brain is demanding I get back to the pilot barracks and finish Ethan’s next step!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Stepping Back

Stepping Back

February 23, 2020

My little love is one! I’m 37. We both had birthdays this week. This is the first birthday for one of my children that I missed.

I was on my way to a meeting at work when I got two adorable videos from Louis – my littlest baby, looking at her first birthday cupcake Grandma Joanne brought her while everyone sings “Happy Birthday” and her little toes wiggle happily.

I could have let that make me feel really blue. I almost did because I had a rather sour day at work that morning – I’m a perfectionist, should explain everything (right?)

As I watched that video three times, there were two voices in my head:

The first was saying things like: Aww how cute! How sweet that they took a video! She’s having so much fun!

The second jumped immediately on top with: You aren’t there. This is the first birthday cake you haven’t done with any child! You neglect her. You neglect them all. You work too much. You are missing your children’s lives. See how much you miss.

And the second voice doesn’t shut up!

I went through the meeting. That second voice was still screaming in the background on the way back to work: If you had any business sense, you could have been good at Beachbody like Katy, you could be a real author making a living at it, you could have sold makeup, you could still be at home. Why didn’t you…. You could have been… If only…

It boiled down to this: YOU ARE A FAILURE!

But I’m not!

I refocused. I took a deep breath and steadied myself on my way to gym – the voice tried again because my baby didn’t even come to gym on her birthday because Daddy and big sister kept her at home (she was pooped after birthday fun).

I am doing my best.

Most importantly, I allowed myself to step back and look at the bigger picture. That is really hard when voices – your own voices in your head – are screaming at you. Your logic tells you they are accurate! Your emotion agrees with them! All the parenting books you’ve read, teachers you’ve listened to, and “stats” you’ve seen about raising children all tell you the voices – the accusing second voices – are right. BUT NO!

Step back. I stepped back.

For 15 years, I’d been the one at home (yes, working from home too) to see the firsts. With Thea, Louis has been.

He said he loves the baby stage and is so thankful he isn’t missing all of it. He felt like he was never around for the others. I’m so happy he gets to be home in the morning/early afternoons in this season!

I had an awesome relationship with my Daddy. I want that for my children, especially my girls; for them to have an awesome relationship with their Daddy. Louis gets to spend more time with them.

I stepped back.

We have joint goals. We have family goals. A house that means a new start for us – rooms for everyone and more than 4 feet of counter space in the kitchen! We are accomplishing that!

I stepped back.

I LOVE my family, and they know this. Just because I work two jobs in this season doesn’t change that. We both got to go to Christina’s first University tour! (That wouldn’t have happened with other jobs!) We both get to go to the gymnastics show in May. We all get Sundays together as family days (that has never happened in our family lives – service industry doesn’t give up weekends!).

I took another deep breath. The accusing voice had stopped. This was because I started to mentally pray: thank you, Jesus, for this season of life you have us in. It may be hard, it may sometimes seem like too much, other people may think it’s too much, others may judge, my logic might be telling me it’s not a good place… but I am SO grateful for the season I’m in right now! I pray for guidance daily and until God says “let it go,” I’m holding on to the gifts (jobs) he’s given us. Thank you!

If your inner voices are ripping you apart…

Take a deep breath. Steady yourself. Step back. PRAY. Be grateful for what you have and pray for wisdom on what to allow to let go.

Listen to God’s heart.

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Fighting Failure

July 12, 2019

Fighting Failure

It’s when your mind tells you stuff that isn’t what God wants you to hear, but the logical part of you says, “yes, that’s right,” so you agree and allow the spirit of failure to permeate your day.

I know in my heart that anything discouraging that doesn’t come with a motivation for how to fix it isn’t from God.  Yet, my logical brain doesn’t always catch these.

Fighting with the spirit of failure has been tough for me lately, especially the last couple of weeks.  One of the girls says “you are always busy,” and I hear “you are never home” to which my logical brain reminds me that I leave before most  are awake and I come home straight to dinner, cleaning, and bedtime or arrive just as bedtime starts.  My brain reiterates: “you are a failure” (at being a good mom.)

Louis says, “obviously, that’s wrong” when I ask for his help and my brain says, “you can’t even put a couch cushion cover on right!” This makes me irritated so I leave because I am now mad at Louis – to which my brain shouts, “see, you’re a horrible wife,” and I believe that because I couldn’t even get dinner ready within an hour the night before but Louis can throw a gourmet meal together in twenty minutes (why do I even agree with that failure, I know I’m not a fast cook?).  My brain reminds me of strings of “wife fails” in reverse order like comic book pages on fast-forward speed laughing, “you are a failure” (at being a wife.)

I’m working so much and have little time (when they need me) lately to spend helping my family with our recent losses.  One of my friends says “you’ll make time,” and since I haven’t stopped my job or altered my schedule too much, my brain laughs, “you are a failure” (at being a good sister, daughter.)

One of my friends is going through a very trying time and I want to be there for her more, but I’m busy when she’s free or I turn into a pumpkin at nine-thirty (to get to bed by ten & therefore up by five to get ready for work) but she is usually home and free in the evenings.  My brain tells me, “see, you are such a failure” (at being a friend.)

BUT… (positive one!)

I have to remind my mind (remind = renew my mind, if you will) that we are all failures.  All have sinned and come short of perfection.  So, yes, of course I fail over and over!  God gives me peace, hope, and joy.  I do my best with what life has given me and pray for God to give me the joy (translates into strength for me) to handle what I’m lacking.

So even though physically and humanly, I am not matching up to my image of perfection (another trap for us perfectionists, we actually think somehow that we can be perfect on our own), when I remind my mind who I am, I remember this: I am saved by undeserved favor (meaning I did NOTHING to deserve it, rather I deserved to die).  Jesus knew my failures ahead of time yet chose to say, “I want her.”

Now I can fight this feeling of failure by choosing to fix where I can improve and trust God with the rest.  I’m not going to be working from home again anytime soon – I will trust God with that.  I can try to prioritize time spent at home.  (I think I’m doing good until I literally take a step wrong my first day off & bruise my neck & shoulders so I spend almost two whole days recovering and doing nothing… and those were supposed to be quality family days!)  I remind my mind, “in all things, trust God.”

The joy of the Lord is my strength.  My mind plays Rebecca St. James “Be The Voice,” and Mandisa’s “Born For This” as I tell myself to “Lay it All Down” and trust.  “This Song is Alive” and “My Heart’s Already There!” (Point of Grace, NewSong, respectively)

Music is my key to joy!  Music is how I fight failure!  Thank you, Jesus, for music!  Thank you for always helping me to fight the spirit of failure in me.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Motivation

How Becky discovered gymnastics and is now motivated to workout for personal improvement! Mom is thankful for her fitness goals!

January 12, 2019

Motivation

Sometimes motivation comes from a course you don’t expect.

I often find motivation coming from my study or from life events.

For Becky, the motivation to workout has just never been there.  Christina got motivated to run and work out when she joined Civil Air Patrol.  Kimberly always wants to beat everyone, so when her dad, sisters, or sister-cousins were running, she matched them, when her sister and friends were seeing who could do the most push-ups or pull-ups or climb the rope fastest, she had to work harder.  Jaquline and Jillian get motivated anytime dad, mom, or one of their big sisters happens to be working out.  Lucas never stops.

Then Becky signed up for gymnastics.

Becky suddenly wanted to be the best.  Becky found her motivation to work harder and get stronger.

I am so thankful that she’s found something to help motivate her toward a healthier state.

For some people, a fitness gym or club with others to hold them accountable works, for others, the freedom of working out at home or on the go with the possible aid of an online coach is perfect, others need a structured team event, some need a goal like training for a 5K.  I love helping people find and exploit their motivation towards being healthier.

For me, health has been our lifestyle, so modifying my lifestyle in various ways to make healthy easier for us is always in the back of my mind.  So as my schedule continually gets busier, my commitment to one fuel and nutrient packed shake each morning has definitely helped me stay on track!

I love watching the girls grow in their personal choices.  I am excited about the educational, fitness, and social gains Christina has made at Civil Air Patrol.  She’s grown so much in the past year and a half!  I can’t wait to see what gains Becky makes in her personal life as she advances in gymnastics – what growth will she produce toward her goal?

Only time will tell, but I’m excited that Becky has found some motivation in her health because I want her to be the very best she can be!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Dropping In

Lack of my technological connection device led to some deep thought… and a fun visit!

October 29, 2018

Dropping In

I think we’ve all become too preoccupied with technology in many ways.  It invades our lives and sometimes, rather than bringing us closer together (as it was originally meant to do) it appears to spread us farther apart.

Does anyone else remember being a kid and just dropping over to your friend’s house, knocking on the door and asking whatever adult came “may so-and-so come play?”  Today’s youth have their parents text or call said person.  (Or they call/text if they have a phone.)

We’ve lost the connectivity of just dropping in.

I ended up without my phone the other night (had given it to Becky because the house she was babysitting at didn’t have a land line) and wanted to go visit with a friend.

Heavens to Betsy!  I couldn’t text or call her!  (We don’t have a land line phone either – and it wouldn’t have helped me if we did as I saved her number in my phone!)

Could I just stop over?  Drop in?  Did people even do that?  Isn’t that considered rude?

While digesting these thoughts, I realized God was still nudging me to go visit (God had put her on my heart when I was on my way to work – and yes, with no phone) regardless of my lack of ability to warn her of our approach.  (Yes, we are like being descended upon by a flock of chattering geese; all six of us this time because Becky was babysitting and Louis was working.)

As I drove the few miles to her house, my mental debate continued:  I am the type of person who loves to visit with people – they can drop in any time I’m home as long as they don’t mind the almost constant state of dishevel in my home.  We live in it, and unless you catch it on Saturday in the first hour after deep cleaning or after 9pm on a regular night, my house will have sporadic hair on the floor from shedding people and pets, a few cups loitering on the table and counter, dishes in the sink, clean clothes either in a bucket or half-folded on the couch, books and art materials on the dining room table, and toys that aren’t always in the toy room.  But my family lives in my house.  So if you come unannounced, expect it to look lived-in.  If you show up on a planned visit, it will likely be “company clean” (aka, we just scurried around like frightened chipmunks to make it as presentable as possible considering the time of day).  I reasoned that I would just pop by before unloading everyone and if they were busy, if she was resting (she gets precious little sleep), or they weren’t up for company, we’d just deliver the job-related news and enjoy the drive back home.

She was excited we had come!  (Surprise!  I knew we were sisters!)  We unloaded and spent a few hours chatting, playing, and enjoying each others’ company.  We actually talked about this very thing.  She remembered people dropping by her parents’ home almost every day when she was growing up.  They would bring a pie or dish, join for lunch or supper, and enjoy a visit or the rest of the day together.

I dropped by on Grandma Jeanette at least once a week; I knew her schedule and knew she would enjoy the visit.

But with everyone else I’ve felt like everything has to be planned.  It feels impolite to just drop by and bring a gift or deliver some news in person rather than over the digital airwaves.

God knows our hearts.  He knew I would really go and knew my friend wanted some adult conversation (who am I kidding? so did I), it was part of His plan that we fellowship together and encourage each other.

We, as people, need that.

We, as Christians, need that.

We were not made to live in isolation.  Our overly busy world with unrealistic expectations tried to shove aside our human need for simple fellowship – time spent together without an agenda.  Just quality time invested in each other.  Dropping in and feeling comfortable in each others’ spaces.  This is when we do not judge each other by the state of one another’s home but choose to invest in the state of one another’s hearts.  Yes, most of my events with other people will still likely be planned, but I no longer feel restricted to just planned meetings!

I am so thankful for friends that are my sisters.  (Or sisters who are best friends!)  Those who I don’t feel obligated to race around and worry about what they will think of the shoes that didn’t make it to the shoe shelf or the train track loaded with every rolling vehicle we own running from the playroom down the hallway into the living room or the dishes that someone is currently washing.  I am thankful for the freedom to be me around them.  I love being real.  I love feeling accepted as me.  I enjoy learning from those around me.

Thank you, Jesus, for true friends!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Awesome Job

God’s Timing is Perfect!

October 22, 2018

Awesome Job!

Louis and I operate a small business that pretty much shrunk from seventeen co-workers to one in the span of four months starting about two years ago.

Since just before then (I’m an analyst, I did see that we would shrink due to changing marketplace), I’ve been applying for various jobs all over in any industry I have experience for or my degree fits with.  I’ve been turning in applications for almost two and a half years.  Nothing.  That’s rather tough for my ego, but hey, I had a three-inch binder with book and article rejection letters that kept coming for fourteen years before my first book was traditionally published.  So I can say I’m used to rejection!  (Honestly, when it came every other job I walked into the business and three of the four was hired on the spot, the fourth I was called back that week – so it was a bit frustrating being well-qualified but not getting any offers.)

I answered an ad that I almost didn’t.  I knew the lady who owned the business, so I knew I would like working for her.  Although the ad was for a gymnastics school, it did say “no gym experience,” and when I arrived, I was asked if I liked working with children.  I LOVE teaching and working with children; I’ve taught and worked with children all my life – literally oldest sibling of 7, volunteered at schools, churches, and groups since they would let me (10), student taught, tutored, and I have 6 children.

The idea of teaching children a sport and getting paid for it is totally amazing!  I consider myself active, so a job where I’m working out a bit while teaching is perfect.

It’s really cool when God’s timing ends you at a place you know you’ll love being, a boss you know you’ll enjoy working for, and the schedule you’ll have really doesn’t mess with anything you already do!  (The girls’ college classes are during morning or early afternoon, we can still pick up Anastasia, it doesn’t change my ability to work early AM shuttle rides, it doesn’t interfere with the farm or schooling, and we can still  do weekend craft sale events and church!)

Bonus was that I didn’t have any workout pants, but the weekend before I started training, my brother and sister brought us bags of clothing and in them were three workout pants and socks!  So I didn’t need to spend money to start!

God’s timing is always perfect and sometimes what plops on your radar isn’t what you thought you would get, but it’s just perfect for you!  This job is almost too good to be true for me.  I’m going to get paid to teach children a fun  sport on a schedule that works with my family’s lifestory… Amazing!

I’m feeling so blessed and a bit awestruck.  Thank you, Jesus!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

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