Tag: prayer

Targets

July 8, 2019

Targets

We have enough of a spot to set up our archery target (big fat canvas block thing) and our bb gun target (the windfresh bucket with three aluminum cans) and safely target shoot at those.

On perfect days when Mom and Dad are out, the question always comes, “may we set up the targets and shoot?”

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Anastasia rode Lucas’ bike between turns!

Christina prefers the bow and arrow – her “weapon from a more civilized age” as she mimics Obi-wan and Kimberly laughs.  Lucas is just learning to shoot with those.  We have a 10 pound bow and he can finally pull that one back.

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Jaquline and Jillian prefer using the bb rifle since our little Daisy is easier to load than the bows.  (and they are in front of the metal beam! no ricochets here!)

Kimberly likes both.  She’s a lot like me.  My favorite gift ever was my crossbow (which no, we can’t shoot here, but when we got it, I had space enough to use it).

Today, we’d backed the cars off of the carport and set up the targets.  Archery on the left and airgun on the right.  I was overseeing (and assisting with loading) the airgun shooters.  I’m not paranoid, but probably repeated “never point a gun at a person,” and “don’t load if someone is in your range of vision” a hundred times.  I like them to know how to shoot, but I want them to treat every weapon with respect.  Ocean, vehicle, weapon, hot stoves – anything with the possibility of causing injury – safety is the first priority.  Always err on the side of safety and you will eliminate possible accidents.

So for about an hour, I loaded the little Daisy and Jaquline, Jillian, Anastasia, Lucas, and Kimberly took turns taking three shots each at the three target cans.  A few “wow, you got all three!” and a few “oops, try again,” shouts.  They encouraged each other.

Sometimes you feel like you were aiming at something and the site is off.  You can’t hit it at all.  Sometimes everything falls down perfectly.  Life is unpredictable.  Sometimes your perception is off.  Sometimes something that looks perfect is lying.

Strange thoughts I have while the children are shooting?  I couldn’t get out of my mind how thoroughly I’d believed in the good while the truth was right online for me to see if I’d just searched the county records.  (I had to update my story)  I heard “Black Eyes Blue Tears” and cried.  I cried as the kids danced to “Fireflies” just a bit ago.  I pray for her ex-husband.  I pray that her babies remember her.

Briefly, thoughts like that interrupt my life now.  I am there, helping to load the bbs and saying, “yea!  You got them!” but I’m also crying inside because I was supposed to be there to protect her.  I watch Christina patiently help Lucas aim his bow.  I see her mouth move and I know she’s saying, “breathe out, release the string,” just like I did to her.  I teach them safety.  I teach them truth.  I teach them about life.  But I can’t protect everyone.  That reality hurts.

I pray daily for my children, nieces, nephews, the boys and girls in my gym classes, those I influence.  I pray they will find the true Protector in Jesus and follow His direction so their life will be anchored in love, truth, and joy.

I help Anastasia aim the rifle and she giggles when the bb hits the target box.  (The targets are supposed to be the cans, but the box counts too.)  I pray that God puts a hedge of protection around all of His precious children and keeps them safe from deceit.

Jillian and Anastasia are giggling while Jaquline grunts trying to pump the rifle because she’s too big for help.  It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was helping my baby sisters aim our old “red ryder” bb rifle down at the pond, popping off pinecone targets.  I can’t change the past.  I can help mold the future.

Hope.  Hope is what helps me through each day.

The girls are giggling again because Louis is pretending to close his eyes and act like he’s asleep.  It is easy to choose joy with these angels around.

Joy.  Yes, joy is my strength.  Thank you, Jesus, for giving me the strength to choose your joy!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

 

Fatherhood

June 17, 2019

Fatherhood

So, you know this huge thing called “Fatherhood?”

What comes to mind?  A parenting book I read when I was twelve (yes, oldest sibling perks!) said something like “the child’s view of God as a Father is directly impacted by their experience with their Earthly Father.”

Yes. So true.

I went into parenthood knowing this. (Songs like “He Wants to be Like Me” reaffirmed this giant responsibility.)

A Father is often the humor of the family too – in the photo, Louis had climbed to the top of the stump and challenged “Come Get Me!” … notice all the kids following!

Despite the failures that I’ve made as a Mom and that I felt repercussions of from my parents (they were AWESOME parents, but they weren’t perfect) – I understand the crux of all parenting: we are human.  We (Parents) are not Jesus and are not perfect.

Bingo.

That awesome thing called grace collaborates with the huge responsibility of parenting to create a vulnerable, praying, God-dependant parent capable of teaching the amazing love and grace of Jesus through their own transparency.

Let’s face it: most of the American culture makes fun of fathers.  (Ever seen the Goofy Salute to Fatherhood?) Even as early as the 1950s when there was still a bit of a patriarchal society present, cartoons and movies started to depict fathers as lazy, goofy, clueless bunglers who often caused more problems than they solved.

Although I laughed along with my Daddy at a lot of these early shots at the masculine father, I understood the bulk of media still left you understanding that the love and bond of a father to child was the glue of a family.  The unsung hero always was the silent sure strength of the God-following Father.

As time inched forward, the media continued to turn the American Father into a non-essential entity.

The opposite is true!

I consider myself a strong, independent woman when it comes to my life.  I am a Christian woman, but one of my strongest battles with myself is submission – first to my father, then to Jesus, and later to my husband.  I know this though…  I CANNOT be the mother I am without the encouragement and support from my husband.

If I had to do motherhood without my husband being my ultimate cheerleader and sounding board, I would have realized how unfit I am about three months into the first child.  I have the ultimate respect for people whose life circumstances have forced them to navigate parenthood alone.  I try to be an encourager to them and help those single parents in any way I can because I cannot imagine myself having that strength.

I am excited to be around my husband!  I was on a softball team (church, yes, I’m an athletic maniac but wasn’t on an actual team until I was in my late 20s and it was just for one season with my church family).  Louis was working sometimes 100+ hours a week for our family at the time.  The company I had just closed.  He’d never made it to any of our games (I took all the kids with me; they loved it and hung out with their friends & some of the church ladies who came to encourage us bounced my baby around).  One day he showed up and I was so excited!  (I was told I squealed like a little girl; don’t remember exactly.)  I love walking with him.  I am excited when we do something as a family – or when he’s going somewhere and says, “hey want to go with me?”  Because I know he likes his alone time.  I get way too much alone time at my office – I relish gym coaching because of the other encouraging women I work for and with and the chattering children I love.  I will chatter way too much sometimes.

Our church sermon was on how Fathers aren’t perfect (only Jesus is) and how their honesty and relationship is their connection with their children.  It’s the way to disciple.  We aren’t perfect, our children aren’t perfect – bingo!  Common ground.

I know how important real, honest, God-fearing Fathers are to the fabric of our family.  I know how hard it is to buck the media’s garbage portrayal of our roles and follow God’s plan instead.  I am so thankful that I have a husband who is pursuing God’s heart.  His passion for Jesus makes him a better husband, a better father, and a better friend.  He helps encourage me to pursue God’s heart.  (Told you I’m competitive.)  He isn’t perfect, but he is constantly improving.  A challenge arises and he rises above it.  He’s always leading in love and with a determined drive that is totally contagious.  His passion for Jesus, life, and family (okay, and sports) is encouraging.

And he doesn’t think he’s “so much” – he compliments and lifts me up consistently.  He makes me feel like I’m doing well despite whatever challenge I feel I’m failing.

At church, we pulled in on Father’s Day (neither of our fathers went to church as adults) and he comments, “wow, church is crowded on Father’s Day.”  Yes, at our church, the culture of encouraging each person to follow God individually, corporately, and in their family is persistent.  (I was afraid we lost that when our previous church folded.)  I am so encouraged that Louis has found a church with a culture of lifting up men as fathers; the vital leaders in their homes, encouraging and holding each other accountable.

Thank you, Jesus, for fathers who choose to take the hard road and follow you; they are raising up the next generation of world-changers.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next later…

~Nancy Tart

My Hero, My Hope

My way of processing emotion – to write. I love you Daddy. Merry Christmas at Home.

December 10, 2018

My Hero, My Hope

Be not downcast, my soul…

My Daddy’s favorite time of year is Christmas.  He loves the songs, the movies (queue “White Christmas,” “Holiday Inn,” “Miracle on 34th Street,” “Bells of St Mary’s,” my favorite, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” the 1985 Disney Channel Christmas, “Mickey’s Christmas Carol,” etc. on repeat), the giving (he loves to make people yelp with happiness!), the story, and the general mood.

My Daddy has had declining health for quite a few years.  Some days were better than others.  He always tried to pretend like nothing was wrong.

My Daddy went to heaven today.

He always said he prayed that when God wanted him, He would let him just “go to sleep” in his own bed and not wake up.  We just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.  Not near Christmas.  Truthfully, not anytime.

No one expects to lose someone they love.  Never.  No matter how sick they are or how many times they’ve been close or how many doctors have said “he can go at any time.”

No one ever expects to not be able to hear their voice again… No more long discussions about book ideas, parenting, the vastness of God’s amazing universe, the connections from one smile to a healed heart to God’s blessing.

We are human.  We never expect separation from those we love.

God didn’t intend that either.  In the beginning, there was no death.  No separation.  We were to live forever.  In today’s fallen world, we do have death – “separation.”

Those with God’s light within them know this is only a temporary separation, and that gives us tremendous hope.  We know, know, know that we will be reunited once again in heaven.  My hero and my hope as a child was in my Daddy; as an adult, I learned that God is both of our heroes and both our hopes.

And that led my mind to an image that made me cry with joy.

My Daddy lost his mother when he was 12 and his father when he was nearly twenty.  It had been nearly 50 years since he’d seen his dad and almost 60 since he’d seen his mom.

I imagined my Daddy running (yes, in his new body!) to be gathered in a hug by his mother and father.  They’d be joined by his brother, two older sisters, and family gone before.  My Daddy gets to go home where he is dancing, running, jumping, enjoying the beautiful garden he’s always imagined was in heaven (he used to say he would love for God to let him tend a garden).

I know we will miss him.

The child growing within me will not see Granddaddy Pearson on this Earth.

God did grant his request.  God allowed my Daddy to die at home, in his bed.  Daddy went into what Mom thought was a seizure.  Mom caught him, called to God to help her, then she says Daddy took a huge breath, looked at her, and told her, “I love you.  We’ve had a great life together… …I know I’m fading.  I want to go home.” They got to say goodbye.

Those we love are never truly gone.  They live on in our memories, thoughts, and hearts forever.

Thank you, Jesus, for giving me an amazing wonderful father.  Thank you for the memories I hold dear.  Thank you for allowing him to die at home in peaceful surroundings.

Hold those of us pained by this Earthly separation as we grasp the hope that is salvation.  We know we will be reunited with Gaylord Pearson again in heaven.  My goodness, what a l-o-o-o-o-n-g conversation Daddy and I will have when we meet again!

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Daddy & Mom – 1982

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Pearson family reunion – 2002 (Gaylord’s family – aka Daddy, Mom, & all 7 of us kids)

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My Daddy with 3 of his sisters L-to-R: Mary, Dolores, Carol – Reunion 2002

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Mom is about to get Daddy to dance with her!

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At Becca’s Wedding – 2012, Pearson family

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Daddy and Becca (her wedding!)

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Mom & Daddy at our family’s “Snow House” getaway in January 2014

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At Christmas 2016 : Daddy, Mom, & the older 5 siblings

Thanks for reading!

Hold those you love tenderly and treasure the memories of those who’ve had to go home before you…

~Nancy Tart

 

An Attitude of Gratitude

June 24, 2018

Attitude of Gratitude

Have you ever felt depressed because something you planned for didn’t come to pass?  Something you wanted to do with someone didn’t pan out?  Have you ever thought you did everything you could but were still shoved down?

Sometimes an unexpected illness happens even when you are doing everything to keep yourself healthy.  That causes mountains of bills.  Maybe we are contract employees or making “too much” to qualify for assistance, yet we can’t afford insurance premiums.  Sometimes, even an insurance policy doesn’t help much.  Maybe, it turns $40K bills into $14K with “rate adjustments.” (That’s still $14,000!)   You thank God for discovering the cause and pray you can manage the enemy that infects your home so you can breathe.

Bills that big can bankrupt people.  Some medical providers will work with a former patient to take monthly payments.  But for some families, the additional $200 or $300 a month means no food.  (Yes, most will take $25 or $50 a month, but when you have six or eight different bills from one visit, that adds up to a lot.)   You know you have to pay it.  But you can’t manage it.  You can’t even go afford to visit the doctor for the required “follow-up.” You just pray.

Fiscally responsible people cancel all unnecessary expenses.  But when your annual clothing budget of $50 is already gone, you don’t go out to eat, you don’t do theaters, you don’t buy new things, you haven’t even replaced your broken couch with a $50 resale one, and you already spend less than $350 a month for food for 8 people, all you can do is cut food.  You just pray.

Or try to get a higher paying job.

But you’ve been applying for every job you think you have qualifications for in north and central Florida for over 20 months with only one interview and three emails claiming: “you are overqualified.”  That’s seriously frustrating.  You have no experience with “foodservice” or “retail” and all those jobs want experience.  You just keep applying; you pray each time you email, drop-off, or hand-in an application.  You pray God’s will for your job life and pray He opens a door for you.   You’ve expanded from a 20 mile commute to a 100 mile commute.  You just pray.

You can look for cheaper housing – but that’s hard when you are paying less than what you’d be required to pay for an income-restricted apartment.  You keep looking, but really don’t have any money to move anyway.  The home you’re renting is the cause of your medical illness and thus financial problems, so yes, you’d like to leave it; you just can’t afford to.  You just pray.

This is the time when it’s very hard to really mean “I’m believing God for my needs.”

Then you had planned to go visit family for a couple of days, but because of another unexpected expense, you find you won’t have the gas money to go.  Besides, if you miss work, you’ll just fall further behind in bills.

This is when you bury your head in your hands and scream.  You’ve been trying everything humanly possible, or so it seems, and something that appears it would be so simple for most people is just out of your grasp.  Driving 10 hours to visit your brother might as well be a mission to Mars.

You may not have control on the circumstances that have put you here, but you can control your attitude (how you handle this stage of life).

This is when you have to remember to encourage yourself.  You have to say “God, you are my Rock, my fortress, my help in time of trouble.  God, you are my provider, my father, and I thank you for life, health, and provision.”

You choose an attitude of gratitude.

You have to take stock in what you do have: you have a roof (even if it’s the cause of health issues you’ve never had), you have a job (your “unofficial second job” is what you love; just no paycheck yet), your children are doing well, your marriage is strong, and you have family and friends who love you.

The last three are the most important.

Family is life.

Money is just a currency of this world to give us stress.  We either stress because we don’t have enough and literally pray for our daily bread or stress because we have too much and worry about losing it.

I can choose to have an attitude of gratitude, be thankful for what God has gifted me and trust Him for everything else.  I want my children to see thankfulness and trust. This attitude works for every stage in life – valleys full of bills and mountains with plenty.

I choose gratitude – I choose to smile.  I choose to trust. I choose to rejoice.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

“War Room” Thoughts

March 24, 2018

“War Room” Thoughts

Have you seen “War Room?”  If not, please do so!  It’s a wonderful movie that my children watch at least once every week or so.  Miss Clara is their favorite character.

Just in case you haven’t seen it, I’ll give you a tiny run down without spoiling the story: Miss Clara, a prayer warrior, wants to teach a young wife who is having marital issues, how to “fight” well with the right weapons (prayer) and against the real enemy.

This movie has opened much dialogue between my preteens, teenager, and me about marriage and relationships in general.  I love anything that opens the teaching door, so this is excellent.

Pray.  Miss Clara prays in her closet every day, she writes prayers for each area of her life, copies scripture to think on, and thanks Jesus for everything in her life.  Prayer is discussion; opening your heart to Jesus and letting Him know you need Him.  I don’t have a closet that is my prayer space; I tend to just pray wherever.  Honestly, for me it’s like with any other relationship: I talk when I think about it.  I know He’s always there, so I can openly talk to Jesus whenever.  I love that.  I feel closest to Him in nature.  Outside, hanging clothes, checking on the chickens, working in the garden, mowing, or walking in some part of Real Florida; these open my heart to feel close.  (And usually I end up talking and my girls smile – visitor children often think I’m nuts, which may just be right.)

Love.  Jesus loved each of us so much that He died for us while we were sinners (meaning we didn’t love Him yet, we were part of the “crucify him” crowd!) so if we can be loved unconditionally, we should return that love to others.  Especially our family.  (Husband, wife, children, parents, siblings, etc.) I try to see others through “love glasses” and this means to me that I see their positive qualities.  This seriously helps when I’m around someone who seems antagonistic toward me; I look for the positive and remember that Jesus loves this person just as they are and wants me to love them as well.  I will probably never agree with every family member on everything, but I can love them anyway.  (Granted, this is not someone hurting me, just someone I may have differences of opinions with… which some people get defensive and irritable when they know someone doesn’t agree with them.)

Trust.  When it comes to family and building relationships, trust is paramount.  You have to keep your word, respect others, and never lie.  It’s hard to trust those who lie (sometimes you can’t).  There was a child who was always asked “want to go fishing?” by a family member and a date picked, but then something always broke the date.  This child ended up saying to his parents of this person, “they don’t mean it,” because he had learned not to trust.  It’s so sad to see trust broken.

Submission.  This one line in the movie started a three hour conversation with one of my preteens… “my momma always said submission meant duck so God can smack your husband.”  It actually sounds sad to me, but often are we protecting those we love from the consequences of their actions?  Moms do it to our children if we aren’t careful.  Do we warn them about putting their bike away but then at dusk we are putting it away for them?  Do we tell them to finish a project for school but at the last minute it’s become our project?  As far as husbands and wives go, neither should be “fixing” the other.  God is the only one who can change a person’s heart.  We can pray for our mate, but if God thinks they need to change it will be between God and our mate – probably without our nagging.

I try to expand the principles of what we see to match not only the illustration seen in the movie, book, or example.  I can expound further on these four highlights and apply them to every area of our relationships and our own lives, (which, yes, I do with my girls 😉 ) but for now I’ve got to finish supper.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

 

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