The end of October was supposed to be so exciting! Gym had an employee & family fall festival scheduled – I was super excited about that because three of my family members are also coworkers and the girls had planned their goodies and costumes. Our church had a Trunk or Treat – the first one Christina didn’t have classes on and was actually able to decorate her trunk (the back of the 4Runner). Two weekends after was to be a concert at our church I wanted to attend.
There was a stomach bug passing around in the local schools. I ended up with that and usually I don’t get sick, but that tossed me out. I was throwing up and had a really high fever. Our O people didn’t really get sick, or if they did, it was sniffles and no fever. (Louis is totally convinced that the blood type has a huge impact on how you are sick – after this last two rounds, I’m sure it has a factor.) Kimberly and I were down two days (one feeling horrid, and 24 hours after the last fever). It was fighting the fight of “stay hydrated” and “make sure I’m putting something in my stomach” when everything was coming back up!
Done, that cleared everyone. Got back to work (ended up missing all of the events, sadly).
I got it again! The following weekend the bug came back! I had a high fever and all the stomach issues Saturday morning, starting about two in the morning this time. It was faster to the finish (fever broke about 14 hours instead of fevers back and forth for a full day), but I was so worn out! Then I started feeling my lung. I was coughing and it hurt so bad to lift my arm. It felt like the pneumonia I’d had back in 2018. In brief, I’d ended up with “asthmatic allergic reaction to black mold” at the same time as pneumonia and it took about 4 doctor visits before I ended up in the hospital fighting that – I’d been told by the pulmonologist back then to be careful that it would be easier for an infection to turn into pneumonia.
I went to a clinic. Yes. Pneumonia, but the scan showed something really amazing!
**Back up about three months when we got our property** (Oh, yes, we are clearing land!!)…
I was out working, dragging limbs and clearing brush like the workhorse I remember being back when we had our farm. No getting winded after a little workout, no coughing, no stopping to make my body take deep breaths. I thanked God for healing my lungs! It felt so great! (back in 2018, I had been told the scarring on my lungs would probably not heal: “never be back to 100%”)
**Back to the story**
The doctor said the scan showed that the “secondary damage” was completely gone! (Scarring of my lungs) The tests showed full use of my left lung, the only reason the right was low was because of the pneumonia! I was so excited! Even though I already “knew” it was nice to be confirmed!
God is amazing!
I’m so grateful for the way He made our bodies so they heal with His touch! I can workout! (I had started trying to after Thea was born in 2019, but it was slow going and I’d feel my limit fast – I had to bicycle “slowly” and stop to take deep breaths to make my body stop “panicking”) I’d been doing slightly more in workouts in the last three or four months and had last used my inhaler just before Laud’s birth.
Thank you, Jesus, for healing my lungs! It’s so cool that two infections ending up with pneumonia cumulated with a confirmation that my lungs are healed! The doctor was like, “usually pneumonia is treated in the hospital if you are allergic to these antibiotics (yes, the two “outpatient” drugs I’m allergic to), but we can try two days of outpatient with these” (some “stronger” antibiotics that he warned were harder to control because they both cause dehydration & you have to keep eating probiotics because they “clean your gut out”)
Daily probiotic protein shake, check. It contains iron so had to be four hours after and before the every twelve hour pill.
Greek yogurt on the other twelve hour window, check.
Super focus on hydration, check. (When I’m fighting something, I log medicine, vitamins, liquid intake, and food intake because it helps me not forget to eat and drink.)
Managed to not go to the hospital this time, check!! – And I’m all done now. No coughing, nothing!
God, I am so thankful for Your healing!!
Thank You for the wisdom you gave the doctors. Thank You for the miraculous way You designed our bodies. Thank You for health and restoration in my body!
*Author Note* Wow, I didn’t realize I have not posted all summer! To say this summer has been busy is a severe understatement; this summer has been a crazy roller coaster jam-packed with life craziness. Hopefully, this happy little story of a new miracle will make you smile! *
August 7, 2023
The Miracle of Laud
There was a day Louis and I took off of work and decided to celebrate our anniversary. As I was reserving tickets for our gym’s Parent’s Night Out for my kiddos who weren’t working it, my boss laughed and said, something to the effect of “no more babies!” Louis wanted to try for a boy and I was not against it! (I love being pregnant!)
Almost two months later we took the last opportunity to let all the kiddos know in person (Becky was home from college). Our teenagers had various hilarious reactions we should have filmed (ranging from “ya’ll are crazy” to a slamming door to “are you kidding?”). Jillian was super excited. Lucas started cleaning a spot in his room for the baby; which Louis was convinced would be a boy since he used “Dr Jack’s method” that worked with Lucas. Thea asked a million questions and kept trying to hear the baby’s heartbeat and talk to the baby.
My babies like to hang around and I love being pregnant. This time around was so different. I was measuring large, but there are lots of factors that impact fundus measurement so it is more just a guide to make sure the baby doesn’t stop growing. I’m forty and my last pregnancy to term was four years prior. Even though, yes, I’m in what I consider really good shape, my body has been stretched out and back seven times. I actually wore maternity clothes a friend gave me this time like normal! I actually looked like I was pregnant from about 5 months on, a real first for me. I loved that!
We went to the team banquet, it was the first one Christina got to come to, and the girls teased me saying I didn’t have any formal clothes… I surprised them with what I considered the cutest maternity dress ever (gift from the same friend – they just hadn’t seen it yet). It felt so cool to show off the baby. Friends who had seen me pregnant before asked if I was sure on the date or if there were two in there. (Louis loved this, the baby inside was doing some movements that I still can’t explain, and secretly, I would have loved twins.)
My “official” date from LMP would have been August 28, 40 weeks from the baby’s start would have been September 4th. I just told people September or early October. I honestly thought early-to-mid-September because most of my babies were about 42 weeks old when they came; I usually carried closer to 10 months.
July 31st started braxton-hicks contractions, the baby was still sitting up high right under my ribs and had not yet “dropped”. That was spot on for me because braxton-hicks contractions usually come 4 to 6 weeks (even 8 weeks, in two instances) before the baby comes. My babies tend to drop 3 or 4 weeks before. The baby-mapping information, which is super cool to research if you have time and want to be amazed, was telling me the baby was up to one side. My milk usually starts leaking a week or so before the birth too and there was no sign of that yet,
We went to the beach in the late evening of August 2nd. It was beautiful! I always feel like praising God for everything when I watch the majesty of the ocean, hear the laughter and joy of my children enjoying the water, and slow down to consider how honored I am to be so blessed. The others did gymnastics drill competitions in the soft sand (handstand holds, perfect Ts, candlestick holds, etc.) while Becky and Thea made a sandcastle from dripping sand – absolutely breathtaking.
(beach shenanigans and laughter)
On the way home, it felt like the baby shifted to sit sideways. I mentioned that I would like the baby to drop soon so sitting in a car wasn’t so uncomfortable. Christina laughed. The sing-along music at the top of their lungs and windows open made it so no one else heard.
I woke up on August 3rd a little after midnight. I thought my body was doing Braxton-Hicks contractions; it had been off and on since July 31st. These stretch-and-prepare contractions came and went in tiny spurts and historically clusters of three to ten stretches that disappear after I move around, shower, or stretch was “normal” for my previous births. I remembered seeing a facebook post about one of my best friends getting home from the hospital with her son; she often didn’t have night nursing and I hadn’t meshed schedules with her in a very long time. I texted to see if she was awake and able to chat. God knew I needed to hear her voice and we chatted for a couple of hours. Just after 4:15am, what I thought was Braxton-Hicks contractions about midnight (I had showered and they went away completely), became an intense contraction that came in a wave. I paused talking to breathe through that one and mentioned that it was different. I said, “this is early,” or something to that effect and told Hannah I was going to wake Louis & call Misti. As I stood up – or tried to – another contraction came in which the baby shifted from sideways inside me to “in position” and dropped all in the same intense contraction! I’ve never felt that before!
I made it from by the couch to the just inside the bathroom (didn’t get to my bedroom to get Louis) and another seriously intense contraction came. Someone had left two of the deep soft towels laid out flat on the floor on top of the bath rug (a nice, soft place to pause where clean up would be easy). I heard Christina coming out of the barracks and she asked, “mom, are you dead?” I was in full relax through the contraction mode and answered “I’m fine” with a tiny voice she knew meant baby was coming. She woke Louis and went to get mom. Louis came in the bathroom and rubbed my back, “this is coming fast” my bones were doing the separate-thing they do at transition (feels like my spine is coming apart). With the next contraction, my water broke. I texted “my water just broke” and called. Misti ended up being on speakerphone with us the whole birth. I remember wanting to double check my “official” LMP due date that was in my phone memo with all the other baby measurements for this pregnancy (my phone appears to be my notebook for everything to keep me straight on facts– I sometimes call it “my memory” because I upgraded from a purse-calendar-planner to that). I couldn’t focus on anything but listening to my body because I didn’t want to move too fast; my brain kept trying to slow my body down – nope, body wasn’t listening.
One more contraction at total relax and the next one came with a burning urge to push. I felt the baby moving to crown and said something, likely incoherent at this point, about the baby crowning. I heard what I thought was Louis repeating what I thought I said. I heard Misti say something too, but I was focused on listening to my body and slowly (in my head it felt slow, but time is so relative when you are in concentration on something – it was likely fast) pictured what the muscles in my body were doing and focused on working with them instead of fighting against them. I remember praying and feeling God say, “listen” like a soft ocean breeze in my ear. He made my body to do exactly what it was doing now. I relaxed – rested – in my trust of Him.
Louis told me the baby crowned and to push, I didn’t feel a contraction but refused to panic, I waited and breathed deep to calm and listen; another contraction came and pushed our little one out. There was a cry followed by a choking sound. As I looked to see the baby in Louis’ hands, the baby’s fingers then arms and toes then legs started to turn from a bright pink-red to blue! The baby had come out with the umbilical cord wrapped and Louis unwrapped it.
Time here slowed for us. It felt like an eternity.
“What happened?” Misti seemed to be able to see everything though she was just on the phone, we said he was turning blue like he choked, she said to suction his mouth. I remembered that from Kimberly’s birth – her cord was really short and the midwife had stopped me from pushing to unwrap her cord, then used a long tube to suction out her mouth – she had been blue. I couldn’t see using a nose suction thingy, it was too short. I had heard Louis say he was a boy as he first cried. Now my mind said “he” instead of “baby”. “How do I do that?” I remember not panicking although the back of my mind was screaming at me “he’s blue! Not breathing! He’s going to die!” Misti said to hold his nose and suction him with my mouth. It was like she could see that I wasn’t pulling strong enough, I remember, “no, pull like you’re sucking a milkshake through a straw,” I prayed and sucked up a ton of mucus which I just spit on the floor. “Blow into him, firm but gentle,” I heard. I blew a breath as I prayed again. He shuddered and breathed in and cried out! I cried.
Christina had called 911 when he started turning blue. He’d been not breathing. It had really been less than a minute between choking sound and his next full cry. It had felt like ten minutes. It had felt like eternity. Everything had happened so fast but in my mind it had happened in slow motion.
Fire rescue came in. My mom said one guy heard the baby crying and whispered, “thank God,” as he entered. Misti told us to rub him so we had been rubbing on Laud all over to get the circulation back. We’d recently watched Thea’s “pongo dog” aka “101 Dalmations” and one of the kids mentioned, “just like the puppy.” I didn’t know which of the girls were awake just yet. I did suddenly realize when there were strangers in my house that I was naked and bloody and there was a giant mess in the bathroom – I made a mental note to throw out the towels on top of the rug and I didn’t care if they were the big nice ones or not. I had been focused on Baby Laud. Louis covered my shoulders with a big towel. The Fire Rescue guy looks at the cord, which was wrapped around my leg, the placenta hadn’t delivered yet, and Laud is at my chest height being rubbed. He said, “wow, that cord is long.” They waited a moment for the pulsing to stop so all the blood from the cord went into Laud. Cord was cut and they did some stuff checking out Laud. I told them, “we called for him, not me,” because “blue and not breathing is scary” and I told them what I needed to do for me (deliver placenta, get blood off to see if I am actively bleeding, etc). The guy agreed and said the baby was good asked if he’d urinated. Yes, with his first big cry after I suctioned him, he’d peed all over, which honestly had made us laugh. Since Louis and the rescue people had Laud, I washed to get most of the blood off and stimulate my body to contract again and get the placenta out. Misti was still on the phone and had all the times and such. Someone (likely Louis, Mom, and Christina) cleaned up the mess on the floor (I hoped the towels just got tossed).
One of the rescue guys said they couldn’t leave until they made sure baby and I were good – for me, that meant delivering the placenta and not actively bleeding. Placenta delivered along with huge blood clots. Louis goes, “I know what to look for.” He says the placenta is a fascinating organ and knows what the whole one looks like. The placenta was whole. I’ve seen them too, but usually I’m a little occupied with the baby and only once do I remember examining one because I was curious. No active bleeding. Sweet. Just that drainage, which honestly appeared too light to me.
All Laud’s vitals were good! His little fingers and toes were pink by the time the placenta delivered and I’d cleaned up a little so I felt ready for the baby. They checked my blood pressure, which was “a bit low” so I had to explain that my blood pressure is always low, stress makes it “normal.” They were so nice and it was amazing how quickly they arrived. Everything was good so we opted to stay home because I never sleep in hospitals anyway. Laud was perfect!
From the “my water just broke” text at 4:36 to when he was born at 4:43 was literally 7 minutes. I am still in complete awe of how quickly everything went. Rescue guys and lady left somewhere before 6am (that was when I texted someone, Misti or Hannah likely)
Our little Laud Arik “stole” Christina’s title of “lightest” at his new 6lbs 4oz. He tied Kimberly for the shortest at 19 inches. His name means “Praise” and “Lion of God” in Hebrew. The teenagers pointed out he is a Leo. He is such an amazing blessing! The girls of course, are vying for who gets to hold him. Lucas commented, “you have two brothers, he’s my only brother.” (Although that is literally true, it’s also a little funny that he decided that was why he should be able to hold him more than the girls.)
Our littlest love is here!
He’s ready to be loved on and spoiled by big sisters, his big brother (who has been his shadow since birth), family, and friends. We’re so awed and blessed and honored to have another little “arrow” to raise up! Thank you, Jesus for friends, family, quick rescue workers (even though he was all okay when they got here, it was provision in case he wasn’t – not breathing is scary to watch)! Thank you, Jesus, for Your perfect timing! Becky gets two & a half weeks with him before she’s gone until November, Christina gets a week & a half before her final senior semester craziness, I only missed the last two days of camp at gym and will be ready for driving with the start of school, my mom travels over summer and was here for just a four-day stay in between visits & got to be here… I have always teased that babies don’t read calendars… and my cumulative experiences with births keeps showing me every time is different and God has all of it in His hands!
Thank you, Jesus, for the miracle of love and life! Thank you, Jesus, for the miracle of Laud!
*Pictures because my girls say I can’t write about him without sharing pictures! (photo credit to Grandma Tina, Christina, Becky, and Kimberly because I was way too busy to think of pictures!)
Probably the first oneChristina, Laud, and TheaBecky and LaudChristina and Laud (she made him a “burrito”Grandma Tina and Laud (with a hat)He’s all dressed up!Mom and LaudHappy Big Brother (Lucas and Laud)Lucas and LaudJillian and LaudMy preemie clothes fit, Mrs. Hannah!Anastasia and Laud
Sometimes when you want to feel amazed, just look up. Seriously. Up at the sunrise or for me at work – the sunset. The sunsets over the intersection of interstate 95 and International Golf Parkway are amazing. It often happens with a bold artist palette of vivid colors like deep purple, bright blue, orange, yellow, pink, and red. Because this is Florida, we often have moisture in the sky (aka raindrops) that hide clear rainbows in the opposite side of the sky.
I’ve seen more double rainbows outside the doors of my gym than everywhere else combined. God’s promise of mercy.
When sunsets come, they remind me of the awesome things God has given us that all too often we brush off. It also reminds me to slow down. I have to take the time to enjoy the blessings I’ve been given rather than race through life as if being chased. I’m not being chased by anything! I’m in an amazing point of my life where I’ve stopped chasing the pipe-dream of home ownership and realized that it really doesn’t matter. I’ve been able to slow down and enjoy. I love the job I have! (stepping outside to see sunsets and rainbows is definitely a sweet bonus) I get to work around smiling, happy faces, hopefully instill confidence, positive work ethic, determination, and excitement in the hearts of the children I am honored to coach, encourage my coworkers as they encourage me, and watch my children grow in skill and confidence (and getting to see them every break is tremendous)!
I have chosen to focus on relationships. I am trying to connect with my family and friends at every opportunity. I want my children to understand the importance of relationship with encouraging believers.
I have chosen to focus on writing again (my computer that was fixed ended up with the cable to the display being pinched by the metal bracket that supports the display because it was moved when “repaired” and now the cable is shorted… so back to borrowed computers until I can repair it myself). I felt such a surge of writing energy – going from less than 5,000 words to over 22,000 in only one story in just a few off days since it was repaired? Wow, I feel like God has opened my creativity again. Despite computer issues, I will be writing!
I sold one ebook through Amazon! First sale in over a year, so that’s positive!
My boss has graciously let me put up a display of real books at her ProShop (At least 50% of sales price gets donated to the gym program!) and I am supposed to have illustrators (*clears throat*) working on drawings for my children’s books.
At this point, I’m trying to study my children, show them how I depend on Jesus, study my husband more so I can love him better, and develop or water friendships I cherish with my sisters, brothers, and friends. We’ve been able to get Becky’s braces, get Christina’s adult dental stuff started, we discovered Kimberly needed glasses & got those, and are planning to start Jillian’s and finish Lucas’ dental needs too. God is providing as we need it. Provision will come. “Give us this day our daily bread.”
Rainbows remind me of mercy.
Remember before the flood there was no rain? All the world was watered from the ground. Mists, fog, who knows, but the Bible says “the water rose up from the ground” to water the Earth. So imagine Noah and his family – they had never seen a rainbow! NEVER. This was a first for them. It was recorded as God setting His rainbow in the sky as a promise to every living thing on Earth that He would never again destroy the whole Earth by water.
That is mercy. Mercy is showing undeserved favor. Parenting teaches mercy on a whole new level.
Consider when someone is saying and doing things to cut you down constantly, hurting others you love, cutting deep into the hearts of you and those you love with their words, irritated with life but taking it out on you as if it is your fault, doing things and saying things that hurts them, etc. This irritates and saddens you. You love them still. You can’t stop loving them. You carried them and prayed for them and watched them be birthed and loved and cared for them and slowly watch them grow. You know you have to slowly release them and you hate yourself because you feel they aren’t ready but this is where you have to let go and trust God.
This is where you understand mercy. Love when you are undeserving.
You then see that is how Jesus sees you. You hurt His heart with some choices and actions or words. You hurt yourself. You hurt those He loves. You pull away when He is trying to patiently guide you yet it feels wrong or you decide to follow another. You do not deserve His love. You deserve judgement for those you have hurt. Yet Jesus showers us with mercy; new mercies each morning.
This is what rainbows show me.
My heart still hurts for the pains I feel my teens are feeling. I wish I could get them to talk openly and listen as openly. I wish I could once again kiss the hurt and it go away – but that doesn’t work anymore. They now need to allow Jesus to wrap His arms around them and comfort them. They need to allow Jesus to lead them and guide them.
I have to love them.
I also have to protect the hearts of my younger ones. Yes, sometimes from the words or actions of an older sibling. That really hurts.
I’m not going to kick them out of my house and never out of my heart; just as Jesus has not kicked me away and has loved me through all of my mistakes. I need Jesus’ mercy every day.
Rainbows remind me of this.
Thank you, Jesus, for sunsets and rainbows. Thank you that we get to see them almost daily. Thank you for love, mercy, and forgiveness. Thank you that you teach me daily in this task called parenting.
I heard a bit from a youtube radio (do you call them radio guys if they have a channel?) that matched quite nicely with the Bible reading I had today and the actual radio show I listened to on the way to work this morning.
He was discussing how a woman, identified as “Brooke,” a “mother of four,” put a beautiful online post on social media about how she loves her family and puts them first and serves them sacrificially (she said she makes sure lunches and packed, home is clean, and gets up to make her husband breakfast and sometimes goes to bed at 9 and sometimes goes to bed at midnight). I was smiling as I listened. I love my family that way.
But he went on about how some tv show (I don’t watch tv) mocked her post and belittled her husband as a lazy bum without even knowing either of them! They attacked her for being a slave. They said she was betraying all those who had fought for equality…
That made me sad.
Then that made me mad.
You see, I love my family. I serve them sacrificially. Yes, I know I have to take care of my health and body so I can serve them. In this phase our family is in, I happen to be working outside of the home. I serve them because I love them. I go to work because I want to help support them and I love them.
I want Louis to rest his back, let it fully heal so he doesn’t continue to live in constant pain. Since the guy rear-ended him, he’s been in constant pain, I can’t imagine that. He loves us and wants to serve us so he works at anything possible right now – he has always been the primary provider. This past year it was me; different seasons, one goal. One family.
When I do something out of love, I am doing it completely! I’m serving the best I can! Christina’s dish day but she’s busy with school? Yes, I’ll do “her day” so she can study or take her test – I love her and want the best for her. Becky feels lonely and frustrated and overwhelmed and doesn’t see any reason for keeping grades or college or a career? I suggest she go “hang out” with her special friend who will help encourage her and teach her about life and give excellent advice while playing some crazy video game. I love her. I want the best for her and sometimes advice has to come from someone other than Mom and Dad. Yes, I used to not go to bed until it was clean – now I’m up early, but some of my girls like to stay up late and Louis comes in very late sometimes, so the dynamic is the house is clean at 7 or 8 but they will reclean well afterward. We serve each other.
Louis wakes at 3:30am to make doughnuts for breakfast because I had to leave at 6:30 that day. When I come in and make lunch at 10am (2 hours 4 days a week + long Friday right now), I ask everyone else if they want some too and I’ll cook for more than just me. Christina, Becky, Kimberly, or Jaquline sometimes decide to make dinner or supper and they cook for everyone. We all serve with love.
Do all things as if you are serving Jesus. That motto I paraphrased from a Bible verse sometime in my preteen years and it has become something I remind myself of all the time. When there’s anything that needs to be cleaned or fixed or folded or washed I remind myself of that – I’m working to serve Jesus. I serve always out of love for those I serve. When I make food or visit a friend or help someone by cleaning or tutoring or fixing their fence, I’m serving you because I love you.
In today’s society, I guess I was “betraying females” when I would start second breakfast for Louis at almost lunch time, make sure his white uniform shirts were washed and spotless, starched and ironed, and waiting for him. On cold mornings (that house didn’t have heat) I’d time the drying of towels so he could have a warm one and I’d take it to him. I’d even make sure his shoes were polished. I served because I loved him.
I also understood that his working was his service to us. Our family serves each other because we love each other.
Tables shifted, turned, flipped, and rotated over the years, but we’re still serving each other and loving each other. We both take turns doing different things to serve the other. I don’t see anything wrong with that!
The youtube radio guy said he remembered his mother serving his sisters, his father, and him out of love. She was always doing special things, teaching them, and spending time with them. He said what could be better than having four adoring souls who return your love and esteem you as the best human on the planet? Does the hand that rocks the cradle rule the world? (I think he was trying to be funny) He said he praises this Brooke and is sure that her husband and children feel extremely blessed to be the objects of her service and affection. So do I!
Some people are like us. Some people love to serve. Some women are happiest being good wives and mothers. Some women could care less about a job as anything more than a vehicle to bring sustenance to their family; they don’t want to be the CEO or Mega Manager. They want to raise their children. They want to serve their family. They want to serve others around them.
Want to know a secret? These serving women are usually extremely loyal to a job they have because they see their work as a service to Jesus as well – they believe that they are serving their boss and coworkers through their job. Yes, corny, I know, but (also yes!) that is how I feel. I have to view my job as something I am doing for Jesus otherwise I would be super depressed about being away from my family.
Anyway… long long blog. If you got this far, cool!
Why does our commercially driven world think it’s okay to mock and bully a woman who chooses to serve others in lieu of climbing a corporate ladder striving for power and wealth? Fourth and fifth words. Commercially driven. Everything is about power and wealth. The world can’t control people who are driven by love and service. The world can’t understand the pure joy and fulfillment we get when we watch someone we love accomplish something. When the world is falling down around their shoulders and they open their brown lunch bag to find a little smiley note or that their sandwich is cut into triangles like they prefer it, they see love. They know someone loves them. The world doesn’t understand this because there is no price tag.
He ended by telling “Brooke” to keep it up! I say to all the Brookes out there, keep serving, keep loving. Don’t let the world’s judgement stop you from doing what you know you should be doing. If that’s running the 2nd largest corporation on the planet or packing your kids’ lunches, if you are serving a congregation of 500 or you are cleaning cherrios and duplos off the floor, if you are taxiing people around to make ends meet or you are the “soccer bus” mom stopping at four houses on your way to practice; whatever way you serve, keep honoring those you love.
My Bible reading was all about service with love rather than service as a duty. Don’t serve for others’ approval, that leads to disappointment. But serving out of love leads to fulfillment. This I know. God created us different, men are told to love their wives and women to serve their husbands – in reality, don’t two people who love each other serve each other all the time? God knows that men and women are wired differently hence the different words being used. He is warning men not to stop showing love to their wives and women not to stop serving their husbands. A woman who feels loved will be more willing to serve and a man being served is more willing to love. Like different love languages; you have to discover yours and that of those you love. Because we are different our style of service will be different, but we still hear the other saying “I love you” with their service to us.
In what way do you serve? Check your heart. Serve out of love without concern for any accolades. This will be our witness; our love!
I live in Florida, so “Spring” as we see it means beach weather – at least for those of us who don’t consider 70 degrees too cold for sand, surf, and sun.
The flower bulbs are coming back. The songbirds are singing and making nests. The woodpeckers in the Maple tree are arguing about who gets the best insect hole. My baby Thea is a month old (on the first day of spring & two of her aunts’ birthdays). I’m shifting from part time to full time at my office job.
This job is a God-sent blessing anyway (read that story here); increase of hours = increase of income and that is super sweet!
Anyone seen White Christmas? Bing Crosby sings “Counting My Blessings” and that became a theme song in my head. Songs will pop into my head when I think certain things… I’m just musically wired… auto-correct tried to put in “weird;” maybe weird is the right word!
So, I’m “counting my blessings” this spring:
Job with a growing company where I get to take my Baby Thea to work with me! (Thank you, Jesus!)
Dream job where I get to teach and encourage young athletes while working out and having fun. (Thank you, Jesus!)
Health, (finally!) as I’ve found a technique that works to keep my black mold allergy from turning to throat-constricting asthma. (I can keep it at just a post-nasal drip, which is irritating, but not debilitating.)
Family. I live for family. (Why I haven’t been writing for a bit… busy with jobs, helping sisters, and spending time investing in family.)
Finding a church we hope to be able to call “home” as our church closed. (Louis’ cousin and several friends attend there.) We’ve been three times and most of the kids like it so far.
Spiritual growth in my girls. Watching that bloom is the best!
Provision. We have a house to rent, food to eat, and gas to get us to and from work. Paying back debt and then shifting focus to our long-term goal of saving for our own house.
Thank you, Jesus, for the blessings in my life! Thank you for healing, love, family, and life!
I’m enjoying a jolt of energy from counting my blessings, what about you?
Season of Uncertainty: struggles over finances and worry for me. Learning to trust in daily provision.
September 14, 2018
Our Daily Bread
Have you ever thought about the line in the Lord’s Prayer: “Give us this day our daily bread?”
I always believed it meant to trust God for provision.
I never really lived the “daily” part.
Our life is broken into seasons and in this season, there is no weekly or monthly guaranteed income. We work daily. We get paid daily. Of course, we understand that bills are monthly, so we have to save the money we make in order to pay for monthly provisions. For the last few months, when we pray that prayer, I understand the “daily bread” part literally.
Our service work is different than a “regular job” in that we don’t have sick days or PTO to pull from when we’re sick. When I got sick with the mold garbage was a huge cut on our family’s finances. Our income has even changed from what we had a few years ago: From startup to two years ago our business had several streams of “weekly” or “monthly” income from operating, but times change. We could take a day off then and it didn’t come with worrying if rent or electric would get behind over it.
God always provides, though. God makes sure we get enough calls to keep our provisions met (we have been on time for rent & electric in this season). We get blessed in unexpected ways too. Unexpected ways are like this past Sunday when a sister from church gave us two boxes of fruit popsicles – the kids LOVE those things!
Radio preachers always say stuff like, “just give what your family would spend eating out.” It makes me feel so sad. (We do pay $200 a month to help another – plus anything God tells us to give. But that is between God and us.) We don’t eat out. We used to. If I mention a restaurant we’ve tried “the other day,” it was likely over two years ago. I don’t tell other people our financial situation. I don’t like to “bother others” because God does always provide and as long as we have rent, I’m not going to ask anyone for help. Outside of Louis buying a $20 box from the new Bojangles to try it out for a birthday lunch, we haven’t eaten out in ages. We understand that good stewardship in our family right now means spending less than $8 for each dinner meal for all of us – and one item each from the dollar menu still breaks that budget. Honestly, beans and rice (the most common) or spaghetti/zoodles with marinara (2nd most common) cost $2.80 and $3.30 each, respectively. Most of our family dinners cost us less than $8 a meal. Breakfast (thank you, God, for eggs!) is under $2 and lunch is usually about $4 since we save full meat and good veggies for dinners. Since we make feed money off our chickens and eggs, eggs are practically “free.” We go to a local produce market a mile from us and pick lots of veggies from the $0.50/lb “scratch and dent” box. I like to think I’m pretty good at stretching money.
For us, this season has taught us to depend on God daily. That was very hard for me at first. I am a planner. I am a saver. I am very good at saying “no, that’s not on the list,” and not allowing money to be spent on something I consider unnecessary. But I find it an extreme challenge to not have the full month’s bills sitting in the bank – we used to have six months of bills in the savings account and one in the checking! I hate the uncertainty of depending on God to give us calls every day. I look at our reservations and my stomach churns. There’s usually nothing for me to plan on. Fifty-three stories online and I made zero in August, so I can’t plan on that just yet. I’m so unsure that I’m applying for every job that I can possibly pretend my skill sets fit only to be rejected by everything in the last two years. (Obviously, God doesn’t want me there.) If I get a job, it will be because God wants me there. (Maybe God wants me in this season of uncertainty because He’s teaching me to depend on Him more and worry less?)
Do I love working from home? YES! (I drive when there are calls, wait at home in-between.) Do I love being able to homeschool, write more stories, tend my garden and tiny farm, and be present as my children grow? YES! YES! YES! YES!
What is hard for me is accepting uncertainty.
Frankly, though, life is totally uncertain! A “steady job” is just as uncertain as the “daily bread” season we are in! It only appears more secure.
Only God is truly certain. Why would I want to trust in anything else?
