Tag: baby

A Girl and her Doggie

A Girl and her Doggie

February 19, 2020

Sometimes you choose a pet. You know, you excitedly go to the shelter or the pet store and the perfect friend snags your heart instantly.

Sometimes you are fostering a litter of puppies and one looks up at you with a connection that will never break.

(Christina and Primrose: Pretty sure this was the day she decided to keep her!)

This was the way with Christina and the little black puppy that became our Primrose (Primmy, Prim, or even Primrose Everdeen Tart – when she has chewed something).

Prim has been in our home for two baby births. Until Lucas was about 2, he was her little pup. She followed him around, protected him, and I used to say if dogs choose their people, Prim chose Christina and Lucas. The second birth she’s been here for is Theadora.

Thea loves Prim. She gets excited when Prim snuggles up next to her and squeals “my doggie!” and will either pet her gently or snuggle her whole little face into Prim’s soft fur. Thea also feeds Prim everything… if it tastes really “yummy!” then a bit of it gets dropped over the highchair after “doggie!” gets yelled. Prim knows that means – come get food.

It’s hard for me to get these as pictures because Thea knows what a phone is. If I try to take a picture while I’m sitting next to her, she drops what she’s doing and grabs said phone!

Lucas has grown away from Prim and animals – he likes things with wheels right now. He gets super excited about small animals like helping with the Guinea Pigs or Minuit, but big ones are pillow to him, that’s it.

Prim is a pillow or sleeping buddy for anyone on the couch – although she isn’t supposed to be there; she just took up Sheba’s lookout position. At night, she snuggles curled up in a little ball on the end of Christina’s, Lucas’ or Jillian’s bed. She loves her people. She’ll snuggle next to Thea’s baby pen if Thea’s sleeping there – nestled under the table but up against the baby pen.

We went to visit a friend & they had a Jack Russel puppy. When Thea got home she grabbed Prim in a hug and stroked her saying softly, “my doggie, my doggie.” My baby is thankful for her special doggie.

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Big Brother

October 10, 2019

Big Brother Blessings

Sometimes God blesses you with an awesome gift and you totally know it!

From the time I was pregnant with Thea, Lucas was totally in love with his little baby.  It was “my baby.” Lots of people tried to get him to choose “new brother” or “new sister” – he always just said “my baby.”

Lucas said “you are my love, Baby Thea!”

Then when she was born.  Lucas was captured. 

He has been the most tender, loving big brother.  He snuggles with her…

…yes, they are fist-bumping each other in their sleep!

When I was taking her to work with me and totally enjoying my baby-time, Lucas greeted her first when I came in.  It was “how were you, baby Thea?” In the morning, it was “Mommy, can you leave baby Thea with me today?”

I love their special bond. 

Thea knows she has her big brother wrapped around her fingers!

She is mobile now… I watch them race around the gym floor and Thea’s playing with him!

I am so blessed by the awesome gift of being their mom.  I’m so thankful for the bond they already have and look forward to watching them grow up together!  Lucas thinks it’s awesome when he sees his friends (he says best friends) Grayson and Caleb on Facebook – he said, “Look, Mom, God gave all three of us special baby sisters so we can take care of them!”

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Sixteen Sweet Years

October 3, 2019

Sixteen Sweet Years

The one who first called me mother is sixteen years old.  Thank you, Jesus.  I am so grateful for being blessed with Christina!  I can’t imagine life without her. 

I truly understand that God entrusts us with raising his children.  There is such a wonderful humbling feeling in being able to watch my little baby grow into a young woman of God. 

For nine months I felt this tiny life growing inside of me.  We prayed over her (not knowing who she would be yet) and loved her from the time we imagined she would come.  She was born the eldest grandchild to both sets of grandparents – imagine such a crazy double blessing! 

Fast forward to today: she’s driving and we’re on the way to her job and Kimberly’s classes with Thea and I riding along (so I can take the car back home and Thea was just up with us so got to serenade us – she sings to music now).

I thank God daily for each of my children.  I know we aren’t promised tomorrow.  I treasure every day.  Every time I get to hear Thea sing notes (no words yet, just “aaaahh-ooooh-aaah”) to music, every time Lucas builds a train track that snakes all over the front room, every time Jillian is jumping like a pogo stick because she learned a new skill or mastered a math concept, every time Jaquline makes something new, every time I get to see Kimberly march (in Civil Air Patrol) or practice some new flip (gymnastics), every time I see Becky snuggle with Lucas, Thea, and Jillian on my bed reading “Angel and the Ring” (Lucas’ favorite), every time Christina ranks up or encourages someone else… every time I get to spend life with my children. 

They don’t have to come to me when they need to talk about something or ask personal of difficult questions – I thank God that they do.  They could bury themselves in isolation from “the parents” but I’m super thankful that they choose to be around us when we are home.  In this precious time while they are close, I want to talk, snuggle, read, play games, cook together, watch them build, invent and grow, and see them climb closer to Jesus.  I am so thankful for the time we’ve been given together.

I became a mom on December 24, 2002.  My little life began inside me and I excitedly whispered it to my mother on Christmas Day because I knew she wouldn’t think it odd that I “felt” my angel start inside me. My first pregnancy journey ended with my beautiful young woman who is driving beside me now.  There is something humbling and awe-inspiring when you hold that first tiny human and realize that God has gifted you with one of His children to raise up.  Once through that, I felt the same huge responsibility and humbling gratitude each time I felt the little life start. 

Life is a vapor; you look at your tiny child in your arms and when you open your eyes again, she’s been flying a plane and driving a vehicle, doing college classes and working a job.  Though she is nearing the time she can choose to leave your home you carefully built for her, you continue to enjoy each day, each opportunity to be around her.  You pray thankful for the time you’ve had and for her safety and future. 

Those years speed by.  The love you carry never leaves.  No matter if your youngling is plucked early to fill heaven with joy, your love remains as strong as the day you discovered them growing inside you – a mother’s love never stops.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Questions:

September 23, 2019

Questions

I love how children ask questions.  Sometimes their questions make you go search something.  Like “what is a rainbow?” or “why are leaves green?”

Sometimes their questions mirror your own; but those you won’t speak.

You know, questions that your doubting mind asks but your thinking heart understands.

“Why are you crying?” I ask.

My little girl is riding with me to go pick up two of her big sisters, “why did Aunt Mary die?  Why is Mandy’s mom gone?  Jay is a baby; he will never remember his mom.”

Her tears fall as she speaks.  I let her finish talking.  My heart aches.  I ask those questions in my head too. 

“I miss my baby sister too.” I start, I want to connect with her heart. “Our world is broken because of sin.”  She nods, she has heard this too. 

“I know,” she is still slowly crying, “but she loved Jesus since she was little like me.”  (Mary had told them once that she was five when she promised Jesus her heart. I was there.  She was telling everyone about Jesus and was just five years old.)  Jaquline didn’t know how complex her aunt’s life had become so fast.  Because of sinful controlling people in her life that kept her bogged down, in fear of her life or her family’s life, and assaulted her mentally as they tried to keep her quiet and separate her from anyone who truly loved her.  As a young teen, some guy misused her, showed her that from a certain spot he could see her father’s bedroom, and told her one shot through the window would kill the man she loved the most.  He was the first to rip her young heart to shreds with his awful controlling self – then he had the gall to continue to threaten her when she moved 300 miles away!  Others treated her like dirt; lying about those she loved and people who cared about her until she actually believed these lies and isolated herself from those who would have helped her.

I could hate these people.  Instead I pray for them. 

But she’s my baby sister.  There was a part of me that wanted to go “Good Citizen” on their carcasses.  But I know Jesus died for them just like He died for me and I am supposed to love my enemies.

Switch back to my car on the interstate with my nine year old sitting shotgun with silent tears crawling down her fair cheeks.  This all flashes really fast so the same song is still playing.

“Do you ever think about where Aunt Mary is now?” Jaquline says. Newsong’s “My Heart is Already There” was playing in the background.

“Yes.” All the time.  That comforts me. “She’s with Jesus.  Can you imagine?  Being in His presence and seeing his face?”

Jaquline giggles. “Maybe all her puppies will be there.”  (Mary loved animals and was always trying to get a dog, but always the guy she lived with didn’t want one.)

“Remember the pictures of her as a baby chasing Boodle?” I ask (cutest little Maltese my family had twenty years ago) Jaquline laughs.  “I bet she’s petting him instead of chasing him now.”

“I ask Jesus why Aunt Mary is gone.” Her voice is distant. “He doesn’t answer.”

I sighed, “do you know why Jesus made us?”

“To be with Him.” Bingo.

“Yes, He wanted a relationship with us.  He loves each of us.  He didn’t want Mary to die, but now she is with Him all the time.  Only God knows when each person’s time comes to die.  We all will die one day.”

“I always hope to die when I’m old like Boompa,” Jaquline said.  “I’m not so sad for Boompa, but I’m so sad for Aunt Mary.  I’m sad for Grandma.” Yes.  Same for me.  I miss my father immensely.  I miss my sister.  I can’t fathom the depth of grief for my mother. 

“Jesus will comfort Grandma.  We have to help love her too.”  I say.

“We can be Jesus’ arms and hug her!” Jaquline’s tears have dried a bit and she’s now thinking about serving others.  She loves helping; it usually brings her happiness.

“Yes.” I smiled at her as we parked.  “And sometimes Jesus uses her arms to hug you, too.”

Big smiles return. 

Yes.  I totally miss my sister.  I grieve for the harshness she ended up living through for the last few years of her life.  23.  Her life’s clock stopped so short, only 23 years.  I always dreamed of her silly dancing at our Christmas parties for ages, smiling her beaming-happy-smile as she watched nieces and her daughter walk shakily down their aisle to their forever-love, dancing with her sons at their weddings, encouraging my teenagers in their Christian walk toward womanhood, and living her new-found free life focused on her three little angels.  Their plans, maybe not together, but at least working together for the best – the children. So, yes, I asked that question.  “Why, God?  Why is my baby sister dead?”  It seemed so surreal for me.  No body.  No last look.  No nothing.  I keep expecting her to drive up, drop the littles off, and enjoy some of whatever food we have just cooked. 

I know this world is broken by sin.  I know it wasn’t ever in God’s plan for us to have death.  I know my grandmothers, father, and baby sister are in heaven in the presence of God.  I have hope I will see them again.  But yes, I did ask those questions.  Yes, my heart aches for my family who must live without her.  I pray for all of us daily.  I find it hardest to pray for those who have hurt her, but that is my challenge.  I must love them as Jesus did.

My mind drifts back:

“…He has called us too! He has called us too! We are all disciples!  Even me and you!” The little voice yells each stanza of the VBS song.  Jumping with excitement, “did I get them all right?” 

I had been singing along and am raking something for a vegetable bed.  “Yes, Mary, don’t bounce on my tilled dirt.” We laugh and she points at her shoeprints.

“Yippeeeeeee!” She hollers and spins.  “Where’s Easter!  I’m gonna sing it to Easter!”  And she runs off in a singing blur, little bright blue eyes sparkling with life, long wispy blonde hair flying about in the Georgia breeze, she’s going to find that silly yellow hen that actually loves to be captured by Mary and sits contentedly tucked in her arms.  I look up to see my vibrant baby sister swinging on the swingset with Easter in her lap, projecting her beautiful voice with some soul-singer power as she practices the song for tomorrow’s VBS service. (You know, where the kids show off to the adults what they’ve learned in the week) Mary would tell the world that she asked Jesus in her heart about two years later.  She had such a love for life and care for others.  No one is perfect.  We aren’t Jesus.  I love her for her heart.  I will always love my baby sister. No, loss never “gets easy” but I do have hope in Jesus that I will see her again.  And that keeps me out of falling into bitterness. I can’t allow my grief to turn into bitterness.  I can’t be Rose from Overcomer; I have to choose joy.

And just like a soundtrack to my life, as I slide back in the car with the two older girls in tow, For King and Country’s “I Choose Joy” is shouting from the speakers.

Thank you, Jesus.  You know my heart.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Thea’s First Roller Coaster

September 21, 2019

Thea’s First Roller Coaster

There’s this wonderful place a few dozen miles over the Georgia line that pops up out of the long fields of cotton and orchards of pecan trees with vibrant colors, exotic animals, and fun! 

Wild Adventures. 

This place has a great history for me.  I heard my first concert there as a teenager (which introduced the “new” band DC Talk with NewSong & later was the same two bands we saw together at a winterjam concert!), I went back as a young mom with Christina (her first amusement park), then back again in 2013 with everyone for two days, and a few weeks ago, we went back on a coupon.

Actually, Wild Adventures has been the first Theme Park experience for all the girls (when babies don’t ride, they haven’t experienced it) – Lucas’ first was Six Flags.

And Thea – yes, the baby! – rode her first roller coaster!  Lucas and I were walking around the kiddie section, he was riding spinning bees and such, when he wanted to ride the roller coaster and needed a fellow rider.  I told him, “when Daddy comes over here, you can ride it, I have to stay with Thea.” The operator smiled, “can she sit up by herself?”  Yes.  “Oh, then all three of you can ride.” (WHAT??)

I’m not good at selfies…
but Thea’s face!!

So Thea, Lucas, and I rode Thea’s first roller coaster.  Thea was five and a half months old!  Did this baby enjoy it?  She giggled with Lucas and chewed on her teether the whole time.  The operator called out, “you get two rounds, does she like it?”  Lucas answered by making Thea giggle and clap. 

Of course, everyone enjoyed multiple rides and between Christina and Becky we have plenty of pictures, but I managed to take a couple.

  • All the girls except Thea!
  • Kimberly
  • Kimberly & Me
  • Jillian & Me
  • Flying!

My baby… and her first amusement park ride was a roller coaster!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Beach Time

September 16, 2019

Beach Time

I love the reset my body gets from the beach!  The salty air does wonders for my sinuses and makes me feel clean again. 

On the first of September, a beautiful Sunday afternoon, we took the whole family to the beach.  The clouds were amazing, we had a few passing over light rain showers – we love watching the cloud of “murkiness” slowly approach, hover, and pass us.  My littlest love is too tiny for rough waves just yet.  She’s good at crawling in the sand. 

Louis was monitoring the approaching storm from his phone.

I like to leave all technology somewhere else.  I know that means I seldom take pictures, but I’ve learned I’m more likely to enjoy the experience if I’m not tied to a phone, keys, or wallet. Usually, one of the girls now takes plenty of pictures!  Louis didn’t want to get wet at all this round so I did go out twice.  Thea doesn’t cling to me like Lucas used to so I haven’t attempted baby-surfing with her yet.  Lucas jumped on my back for two rides before he took off to dig a giant hole with the girls.

They got this hole so big Lucas could stand in it!

Kimberly and Jaquline were quite excited about it.  Like good little beach-goers, they demoed the elaborate sand castle creation Lucas and Kimberly had made back into the hole as we left.  Becky always reminds them to put everything back.  We usually clean up any trash lying about, but this time there was nothing to take back to the garbage bins. (Our beach is generally clean, which makes me feel good about our community!)

Waves, water, sand, and beautiful skies… perfect beach day!  I love the amazing tapestries painted in the beach landscapes, don’t you?

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Leaving My Little Love

September 8, 2019

Leaving My Little Love

I’m looking at the man cross the coffee table as I talk.  I knew even though he said it was okay to bring my baby (at this point, I’m 8 months pregnant) to work with me, there would come a time when my baby would be better off with Daddy and her siblings than at my office with three doggies, a kitty, and office phones.

Almost seven months later, I’m answering Louis’ call while at work and we are discussing Christina and Becky’s schedule for the night while Thea, hearing Daddy’s voice, is yelling at the top of her lungs. Louis says “She really doesn’t need to be in the office.”

We’d been discussing it, but I was very reluctant.  See, I can’t stand being behind a desk… I want to be active, moving, teaching.  Other adults don’t help.  I hate being still.  (Maybe why I don’t listen to midwives or doctors saying “get bed rest” and instead I’m riding to gym with my girls and Louis – yes! He drove! – when Thea is hours old to watch their practice.)  I wanted Thea with me.

Kitty shows up & Thea is in her play seat.  Kitty has stayed away from her the whole 3 months the kitten has been in the office.  Kitty jumps up on the table of the play area and Thea giggles, excitedly pets Kitty, and rubs her hand over her face and head.   Spots break out – a rash… my baby is allergic to cats! Now I won’t jeopardize her health so from then on she stays home. 

I’m sure that was God saying, “quit being stubborn! Listen to your husband.” 

Leaving her home is the hardest thing ever for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally thankful for my job, I’m just sad that I can’t have my little love with me.

I’m seriously living for the day when I can come into the office at 6am, even 5am, and leave at noon or 1pm.  That is my working goal.  I don’t care if that means less pay… I want to be home with my children.  My loyalty instinct keeps me returning to work.  I LOVE teaching.  I LOVE coaching – and I get to take all my children!  I feel that with the way the company wants to expand, I will be able to move to 5am to noon or 6am to noon one day soon.  I’m praying that’s soon.  I’ll even work from home on weekends or evenings if needed.  I want to be home. 

I think that’s an issue a lot of us women feel but are afraid to say.  We just want to be home when they are home!  We want to be around our teens so we can learn about these amazing young women.  We want to counsel our preteens and research their deep questions alongside them.  We want to guide and protect our elementary kiddos and watch our preschoolers, toddlers, and infants with wonder and awe as they grow and explore.  We want to help mold their little characters as that is the reason God gave them to us.  He knew we could mold them the way He wants.  He gave them to us so we could be a part of their lives and our heart knows that.  We desire to teach our children.

I feel a great empathy with those who can’t stay home or make their schedules work the way they want.  I watch my single sister (who has an amazing daughter she pours everything into, by the way) struggle with the “failure” she feels for not being around as much as she wants to be.  Girl.  That is me too.  I can’t stand being away.  I wanted a job where I could keep my children with me.  (Running a cab company, I was always home!  Even gym coach, my kiddos are there with big sister or awesome ladies/young ladies or now, Grandma!)

God is teaching me patience.  Also that I can’t be everywhere at once.  He is also teaching me to look from all angles. 

Louis has been working 60 to 80+ hours at 2 or more jobs since Christina was born.  He’s been so busy or sleeping between jobs all their lives.  Now, he has one job at evening/night leaving as we are going to sleep.  He gets to cook amazing meals, homeschool them, and watch them grow.  He took Thea home one afternoon instead of leaving her with my mom and Paige in the afterschool/babysitting room at gym. He said he loved it.  “I can see why you miss taking her to work.” He said.  He loved “hanging out” with Thea for five hours by himself.  She ate two jars of baby food, some rice, some apple, played all kinds of giggling games with Daddy on the bed, and then snuggled with him and fell asleep on his tummy.  Louis said he loves this part of being a Daddy.

Daddy and Thea

I was smacked upside the head with the realization that I was being rather selfish in my desire to always be with her.  Louis wants to be just as involved in our children as I do.  He loves the baby giggles, snuggles, and laughter just as I do.  He feels powerful and insignificant and totally blessed just like I do when one of our angels falls asleep snuggling.  We are of the mindset that each may be the last – but honestly, there is a feeling of finality with Thea that wasn’t there for anyone else.  (I’m not saying we won’t have another, just being honest about feelings – I am totally open for whatever God wants)  I need to let Louis have as much baby time as he wants. 

So, in this season, it’s the hardest of all for me; I’m away from my children ten hours a day.  I’m willing to work for the day when we have four teams, a location I can show up at to make sure the vans are stocked, the teams are off with all their supplies, and I’m joined by someone else in the office who allows me to leave at noon.  This is what I hope for.  A little more at 8 to 4 and hopefully, I’m early morning and working from home. 

My Thea, my little love, is at home.  I rest securely in the knowledge that her Daddy is relishing his time with her, and her big sisters and brother will help see that she’s entertained and well fed!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Thea is Mobile!

August 15, 2019

Thea is Mobile!

Yesterday was a day of firsts for me to watch.  Theadora is just beginning to want to explore.  She has this cute portable baby holder (looks like a walker, but baby just stays put in it and plays with some toys you choose to attach), you know, like a camp chair only for babies.  She liked that fine for a few months – at home, outside, at work, she was happy standing there, doing squats, and playing with her turtle.

Thea in my office with her portable baby holder

Then a friend gave her a baby bouncer.  This thing is like a walker, except it’s attached to springs on the frame and stays in one place with built in activities and a seat that spins 360 degrees!  Epic.  Thea loves it.  When we get home, that’s what she wants!  Christina introduced her to the drum set – and Thea loves that too.  Banging on stuff with both hands is now a bonafide activity.

And this is the bouncer Thea loves!

Now the portable baby holder doesn’t cut it.  Thea jumps in it and makes the whole thing move.  The dogs in my office have differing opinions on that – Faux is cautious, Beau thinks “Yippee, new toy,” and Lily looked up at me, whined, and vacated the office.

She loves the floor too!

Thea wants the floor or the bouncer.  No in-betweens.  On the floor, she’s been pretty static.  She has been rolling for about three months, but carefully, as all the floors in her environments are hard – she seems to have figured that slow, controlled rolling is how to do that without pain.  She’s been doing what I call “Superman Baby” since about the same time, but swivels round and round in a three-foot radius.  I could put her on her blanket and she was good – wouldn’t leave it.

Yesterday she discovered two new things:

  1. She grabbed the baby holder, pulled it over to her, and pulled herself up to sit!  Mom is not ready for that!
  2. “Spiderman Baby” aka being spread eagle like an X, pushes up with her arms like a push-up and toes to feet with a shove and rockets about a foot at a time forward!  Mom is really not ready for that!

Mom is not ready for Thea to be mobile!  I thought this as my mind replied, “were you ready for Christina to fly? Drive? How about Becky taking college classes? Kimberly flipping around in gym? Jaquline wearing high-heels? Jillian making lunch?  Lucas finally tying his own shoes?” Everything in life is a next level.  I love baby mode aka infant level, but also enjoy watching them grow and mature.  I enjoy being a part of their fantastic lives. 

Thea just jumped from infant level to mobile baby level – watch out world! (Or, maybe just watch out house.)

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Study & Playtime

August 8, 2019

Study and Playtime

Your bed.

A place of rest.  Calm.  Peace.

Unless you are a mom! 

I got the baby all ready, got myself all ready, even get Lucas ready for his bed!  Lay down and *boom* here come the troops!

Lucas does an aerial front flip onto the bed, continuing into two connected forward rolls. (I almost die each time he does that!)

“What are you doing?  This isn’t the gym?”

“Going to bed with you.”  Nice.

As I start getting him settled (someone must have shared a red skittle with him, as the equation for crazy energy = red food dye + sugar + Lucas), Christina comes in with her new laptop.  “Mom, I need help setting up.”

So this is my bed & it’s 2300:

I’m trying to sleep, need to be up at 0545 to get Thea ready, me ready, walk dogs, and beat the bits of traffic; 0615 if I don’t care about eating breakfast or packing lunch.

I smile and remember – they won’t be little long.  Soon Christina will be 16, how much longer will she even ask for my help? Lucas is 4, when will he suddenly stop coming in to snuggle?  Thea is 5 months, but I can remember Christina being that little and it seems like yesterday. I take a picture as Christina gasps, “Thea! Computers are not for eating!”

Yummy! Thea tastes Christina’s brand new laptop

No, they won’t be little long.  I choose to cherish every moment… even the late night Mom’s bed gatherings.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Targets

July 8, 2019

Targets

We have enough of a spot to set up our archery target (big fat canvas block thing) and our bb gun target (the windfresh bucket with three aluminum cans) and safely target shoot at those.

On perfect days when Mom and Dad are out, the question always comes, “may we set up the targets and shoot?”

20190704_140545.jpg

Anastasia rode Lucas’ bike between turns!

Christina prefers the bow and arrow – her “weapon from a more civilized age” as she mimics Obi-wan and Kimberly laughs.  Lucas is just learning to shoot with those.  We have a 10 pound bow and he can finally pull that one back.

20190704_140535.jpg

Jaquline and Jillian prefer using the bb rifle since our little Daisy is easier to load than the bows.  (and they are in front of the metal beam! no ricochets here!)

Kimberly likes both.  She’s a lot like me.  My favorite gift ever was my crossbow (which no, we can’t shoot here, but when we got it, I had space enough to use it).

Today, we’d backed the cars off of the carport and set up the targets.  Archery on the left and airgun on the right.  I was overseeing (and assisting with loading) the airgun shooters.  I’m not paranoid, but probably repeated “never point a gun at a person,” and “don’t load if someone is in your range of vision” a hundred times.  I like them to know how to shoot, but I want them to treat every weapon with respect.  Ocean, vehicle, weapon, hot stoves – anything with the possibility of causing injury – safety is the first priority.  Always err on the side of safety and you will eliminate possible accidents.

So for about an hour, I loaded the little Daisy and Jaquline, Jillian, Anastasia, Lucas, and Kimberly took turns taking three shots each at the three target cans.  A few “wow, you got all three!” and a few “oops, try again,” shouts.  They encouraged each other.

Sometimes you feel like you were aiming at something and the site is off.  You can’t hit it at all.  Sometimes everything falls down perfectly.  Life is unpredictable.  Sometimes your perception is off.  Sometimes something that looks perfect is lying.

Strange thoughts I have while the children are shooting?  I couldn’t get out of my mind how thoroughly I’d believed in the good while the truth was right online for me to see if I’d just searched the county records.  (I had to update my story)  I heard “Black Eyes Blue Tears” and cried.  I cried as the kids danced to “Fireflies” just a bit ago.  I pray for her ex-husband.  I pray that her babies remember her.

Briefly, thoughts like that interrupt my life now.  I am there, helping to load the bbs and saying, “yea!  You got them!” but I’m also crying inside because I was supposed to be there to protect her.  I watch Christina patiently help Lucas aim his bow.  I see her mouth move and I know she’s saying, “breathe out, release the string,” just like I did to her.  I teach them safety.  I teach them truth.  I teach them about life.  But I can’t protect everyone.  That reality hurts.

I pray daily for my children, nieces, nephews, the boys and girls in my gym classes, those I influence.  I pray they will find the true Protector in Jesus and follow His direction so their life will be anchored in love, truth, and joy.

I help Anastasia aim the rifle and she giggles when the bb hits the target box.  (The targets are supposed to be the cans, but the box counts too.)  I pray that God puts a hedge of protection around all of His precious children and keeps them safe from deceit.

Jillian and Anastasia are giggling while Jaquline grunts trying to pump the rifle because she’s too big for help.  It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was helping my baby sisters aim our old “red ryder” bb rifle down at the pond, popping off pinecone targets.  I can’t change the past.  I can help mold the future.

Hope.  Hope is what helps me through each day.

The girls are giggling again because Louis is pretending to close his eyes and act like he’s asleep.  It is easy to choose joy with these angels around.

Joy.  Yes, joy is my strength.  Thank you, Jesus, for giving me the strength to choose your joy!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

 

Follow me!

Get my latest posts delivered to your email: