Tag: time

Beach Time

September 16, 2019

Beach Time

I love the reset my body gets from the beach!  The salty air does wonders for my sinuses and makes me feel clean again. 

On the first of September, a beautiful Sunday afternoon, we took the whole family to the beach.  The clouds were amazing, we had a few passing over light rain showers – we love watching the cloud of “murkiness” slowly approach, hover, and pass us.  My littlest love is too tiny for rough waves just yet.  She’s good at crawling in the sand. 

Louis was monitoring the approaching storm from his phone.

I like to leave all technology somewhere else.  I know that means I seldom take pictures, but I’ve learned I’m more likely to enjoy the experience if I’m not tied to a phone, keys, or wallet. Usually, one of the girls now takes plenty of pictures!  Louis didn’t want to get wet at all this round so I did go out twice.  Thea doesn’t cling to me like Lucas used to so I haven’t attempted baby-surfing with her yet.  Lucas jumped on my back for two rides before he took off to dig a giant hole with the girls.

They got this hole so big Lucas could stand in it!

Kimberly and Jaquline were quite excited about it.  Like good little beach-goers, they demoed the elaborate sand castle creation Lucas and Kimberly had made back into the hole as we left.  Becky always reminds them to put everything back.  We usually clean up any trash lying about, but this time there was nothing to take back to the garbage bins. (Our beach is generally clean, which makes me feel good about our community!)

Waves, water, sand, and beautiful skies… perfect beach day!  I love the amazing tapestries painted in the beach landscapes, don’t you?

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Fighting Failure

July 12, 2019

Fighting Failure

It’s when your mind tells you stuff that isn’t what God wants you to hear, but the logical part of you says, “yes, that’s right,” so you agree and allow the spirit of failure to permeate your day.

I know in my heart that anything discouraging that doesn’t come with a motivation for how to fix it isn’t from God.  Yet, my logical brain doesn’t always catch these.

Fighting with the spirit of failure has been tough for me lately, especially the last couple of weeks.  One of the girls says “you are always busy,” and I hear “you are never home” to which my logical brain reminds me that I leave before most  are awake and I come home straight to dinner, cleaning, and bedtime or arrive just as bedtime starts.  My brain reiterates: “you are a failure” (at being a good mom.)

Louis says, “obviously, that’s wrong” when I ask for his help and my brain says, “you can’t even put a couch cushion cover on right!” This makes me irritated so I leave because I am now mad at Louis – to which my brain shouts, “see, you’re a horrible wife,” and I believe that because I couldn’t even get dinner ready within an hour the night before but Louis can throw a gourmet meal together in twenty minutes (why do I even agree with that failure, I know I’m not a fast cook?).  My brain reminds me of strings of “wife fails” in reverse order like comic book pages on fast-forward speed laughing, “you are a failure” (at being a wife.)

I’m working so much and have little time (when they need me) lately to spend helping my family with our recent losses.  One of my friends says “you’ll make time,” and since I haven’t stopped my job or altered my schedule too much, my brain laughs, “you are a failure” (at being a good sister, daughter.)

One of my friends is going through a very trying time and I want to be there for her more, but I’m busy when she’s free or I turn into a pumpkin at nine-thirty (to get to bed by ten & therefore up by five to get ready for work) but she is usually home and free in the evenings.  My brain tells me, “see, you are such a failure” (at being a friend.)

BUT… (positive one!)

I have to remind my mind (remind = renew my mind, if you will) that we are all failures.  All have sinned and come short of perfection.  So, yes, of course I fail over and over!  God gives me peace, hope, and joy.  I do my best with what life has given me and pray for God to give me the joy (translates into strength for me) to handle what I’m lacking.

So even though physically and humanly, I am not matching up to my image of perfection (another trap for us perfectionists, we actually think somehow that we can be perfect on our own), when I remind my mind who I am, I remember this: I am saved by undeserved favor (meaning I did NOTHING to deserve it, rather I deserved to die).  Jesus knew my failures ahead of time yet chose to say, “I want her.”

Now I can fight this feeling of failure by choosing to fix where I can improve and trust God with the rest.  I’m not going to be working from home again anytime soon – I will trust God with that.  I can try to prioritize time spent at home.  (I think I’m doing good until I literally take a step wrong my first day off & bruise my neck & shoulders so I spend almost two whole days recovering and doing nothing… and those were supposed to be quality family days!)  I remind my mind, “in all things, trust God.”

The joy of the Lord is my strength.  My mind plays Rebecca St. James “Be The Voice,” and Mandisa’s “Born For This” as I tell myself to “Lay it All Down” and trust.  “This Song is Alive” and “My Heart’s Already There!” (Point of Grace, NewSong, respectively)

Music is my key to joy!  Music is how I fight failure!  Thank you, Jesus, for music!  Thank you for always helping me to fight the spirit of failure in me.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Happiness Is…

When you close your eyes and see happiness, what do you see?

March 12, 2019

Happiness Is…

Each of us has a different view of happiness.  This is because we are all unique individuals with varying dreams, passions, interests, and desires!  Try this exercise:

Close your eyes.  Take a deep breath.  Think of the word, “happiness.”  What do you see?

For me, happiness is:

…Lucas racing his bike around the yard (he LOVES that bicycle)

…a clear bright blue Florida sky (hopefully with ocean sounds in my ears!)

…playing chef or chef’s assistant in the kitchen with family or friends with happy music playing (I LOVE the community feeling when there are two or more of us cooking together.)

…the sound of the waves, the feel of squishy sand, the salty sea smell (for perfection, add a surfboard.)

…the smell of sweet hay, the sound of farm animals, the sight of abundant fruit on trees and in a garden

…a bright, open, cheery home with a sanctuary for visiting relatives (Grandma suite, anyone?)

…every time I picture this perfection in my mind, I see my family.  Family, friends, community; living life together.  This is what I picture as happiness.

I often imagine heaven as a huge garden, overflowing with life, where all of us spend quality time with each other tending the animals and plants as we were designed to do (okay, I know that’s simple and I’m ignoring the obvious awesomeness of actually seeing Jesus in glory, but you know, I can dream.)  Happiness for me is being with my family.

A wise man said, “be sure if you join yourself to someone, they see happiness the same way you do.”

Another, “you can’t change someone, they are the only one who can choose to change themselves.”

Remember that you cannot be happy trying to force someone else into a mold you see.  Enjoy them as they are.  (We all have flaws, no one is perfect, and everyone is uniquely different!)  Don’t try to change others, just allow them to be who they are.  (A friend pointed out to me once that no one in the “Pooh-Bear” books “unfriend” Eeyore because he’s gloomy; they accept him as he is.)

When you close your eyes and see happiness, whom do you see with you?  Those are the ones you love.  That is what you treasure.  Cherish time with those who make you happy.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

My Knight

Okay, seriously, just me bragging on my amazing man of God! 🙂 Yes, I think I am allowed to do that a little.

February 4, 2019

My Knight

“Mom, can you stay working and Daddy stay home like this, I like it!” Kimberly says.

I smile. That’s always the result of Louis being home during the day!

He’s an amazing chef – turns regular food into culinary masterpieces that the children like to eat!

He doesn’t get stuck in writing or multi-tasking like I do – he has a finish-the-job mentality so cleaning tasks actually get completed in minute detail.

He knows how to make everything entertaining or hilarious – this leads to lots of children working without realizing they are working!

He doesn’t second guess himself and when he feels like taking them somewhere fun, he just does it! (That freedom I haven’t figured out yet.)

Louis hurt his back so is supposed to be “resting” for six weeks. (He’s been doing stay-at-home-Dad who drives occasionally when he thinks his back is better…) I’ve been working at two outside jobs lately: I leave before 7:20am, basically dropping in after job one about 1:45pm to 2 or 3pm for lunch (which is always ready and amazing), grabbing the corresponding gymnastics student, and sprinting off for the next job. I come home to an immaculate house after 8:30pm (sometimes after 9:30pm if I picked Christina up from CAP or Cyber Patriot). I’m constantly impressed.

Louis has been making my coffee-shakeology and makes sure I have water and eat (I will totally forget to eat); little things that make me feel so loved and cared for. I feel like I’m always receiving at this snapshot of time. I ended up with a cold I misunderstood as an asthma attack because of the way it attacked my breathing – so not only have I been fighting a cold, but I’m allergic to the emergency inhaler so I had almost six days of allergic reaction to let it “run its course” along with the cold (so far both of the colds I’ve caught since asthma have turned into upper respiratory infections) and my weakened immune system wanted a few days of nothing-but-sleep, but you know, life = bills and work! (And, yes, I’m so grateful for my jobs!)

I’m so grateful for simple things like running hot water and modern plumbing.

I’m super grateful for my loving, giving husband who’s always looking out for me.

I’m thankful for our amazing love!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

My Hero, My Hope

My way of processing emotion – to write. I love you Daddy. Merry Christmas at Home.

December 10, 2018

My Hero, My Hope

Be not downcast, my soul…

My Daddy’s favorite time of year is Christmas.  He loves the songs, the movies (queue “White Christmas,” “Holiday Inn,” “Miracle on 34th Street,” “Bells of St Mary’s,” my favorite, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” the 1985 Disney Channel Christmas, “Mickey’s Christmas Carol,” etc. on repeat), the giving (he loves to make people yelp with happiness!), the story, and the general mood.

My Daddy has had declining health for quite a few years.  Some days were better than others.  He always tried to pretend like nothing was wrong.

My Daddy went to heaven today.

He always said he prayed that when God wanted him, He would let him just “go to sleep” in his own bed and not wake up.  We just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.  Not near Christmas.  Truthfully, not anytime.

No one expects to lose someone they love.  Never.  No matter how sick they are or how many times they’ve been close or how many doctors have said “he can go at any time.”

No one ever expects to not be able to hear their voice again… No more long discussions about book ideas, parenting, the vastness of God’s amazing universe, the connections from one smile to a healed heart to God’s blessing.

We are human.  We never expect separation from those we love.

God didn’t intend that either.  In the beginning, there was no death.  No separation.  We were to live forever.  In today’s fallen world, we do have death – “separation.”

Those with God’s light within them know this is only a temporary separation, and that gives us tremendous hope.  We know, know, know that we will be reunited once again in heaven.  My hero and my hope as a child was in my Daddy; as an adult, I learned that God is both of our heroes and both our hopes.

And that led my mind to an image that made me cry with joy.

My Daddy lost his mother when he was 12 and his father when he was nearly twenty.  It had been nearly 50 years since he’d seen his dad and almost 60 since he’d seen his mom.

I imagined my Daddy running (yes, in his new body!) to be gathered in a hug by his mother and father.  They’d be joined by his brother, two older sisters, and family gone before.  My Daddy gets to go home where he is dancing, running, jumping, enjoying the beautiful garden he’s always imagined was in heaven (he used to say he would love for God to let him tend a garden).

I know we will miss him.

The child growing within me will not see Granddaddy Pearson on this Earth.

God did grant his request.  God allowed my Daddy to die at home, in his bed.  Daddy went into what Mom thought was a seizure.  Mom caught him, called to God to help her, then she says Daddy took a huge breath, looked at her, and told her, “I love you.  We’ve had a great life together… …I know I’m fading.  I want to go home.” They got to say goodbye.

Those we love are never truly gone.  They live on in our memories, thoughts, and hearts forever.

Thank you, Jesus, for giving me an amazing wonderful father.  Thank you for the memories I hold dear.  Thank you for allowing him to die at home in peaceful surroundings.

Hold those of us pained by this Earthly separation as we grasp the hope that is salvation.  We know we will be reunited with Gaylord Pearson again in heaven.  My goodness, what a l-o-o-o-o-n-g conversation Daddy and I will have when we meet again!

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Daddy & Mom – 1982

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Pearson family reunion – 2002 (Gaylord’s family – aka Daddy, Mom, & all 7 of us kids)

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My Daddy with 3 of his sisters L-to-R: Mary, Dolores, Carol – Reunion 2002

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Mom is about to get Daddy to dance with her!

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At Becca’s Wedding – 2012, Pearson family

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Daddy and Becca (her wedding!)

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Mom & Daddy at our family’s “Snow House” getaway in January 2014

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At Christmas 2016 : Daddy, Mom, & the older 5 siblings

Thanks for reading!

Hold those you love tenderly and treasure the memories of those who’ve had to go home before you…

~Nancy Tart

 

Finals Week

Cramming for Final Exams: My thoughts on this week.

December 3, 2018

Finals Week

Whew!  I’m finally on my computer again!

We have one internet computer (mine) and for the past little-over-a-week since the Monday after Thanksgiving, the oldest two girls have commandeered it for uploading papers, researching for reports, and taking online tests.

This is their “finals week” for this semester!   (This semester flew by.)  Christina is also studying for CAP and her Cyber Patriot competitions.

So today, I’m up way before them and attempting to finish a few blog entries before they start this hectic week.  (Honestly, most of their stuff is already done, but they will likely be checking and rechecking before they submit it.)

Finals week reminds me of life.

Sometimes, we seem to get really busy with everything else but don’t study our Bible or spend as much time with God as we should.  Then we get convicted of our mortality (i.e. we’re getting older, we attend a funeral, or we get sick) and we study like we’re unprepared students cramming for finals week.  We should be living our entire life “cramming for finals” regarding studying the Bible, praying, and listening to what God says.  That’s like the prepared student who budgeted their time over the whole semester and as “finals week” comes, they just double check stuff, submit the final draft of xyz report, reread xyz chapters, and go into the exam room with a confidence that they’ve done all they can do.

I want to live my life being prepared for the spiritual things.  This includes: taking time to help others, reading my Bible, applying the Word to my life, teaching where I can, and setting a positive example for those who are watching.  (If you are a parent, at least your kids are watching.  Even if you aren’t directly responsible for littler hearts, there are others watching your life that you don’t even notice.)

Our “final exam” may be a long way off, but isn’t it better to live our life doing our best all the time instead of just at the end?

So, as I listen to the chatter of my girls discussing various student attitudes leading up to and during “finals week,” I am convicted to follow the same advice in life that I gave them regarding school; study thoroughly, spread your assignments out over the whole term, and then you won’t be rushed during “finals week.”

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Cousin Bonds

April 6, 2018

Cousin Bonds

I love watching the awesome relationships between my children and their cousins.  Cousins are something like siblings you don’t live with.  They know you, accept you just as you are, enjoy normal everyday things with you, and share one set of grandparents.  For my children, their cousins are their best friends.  My children are very fortunate to have most of their cousins close by.

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The bond seems instant.  From crib days, they are inseparable!

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They spend long minutes to make bubbles stick to another’s hair as a “crown.”

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They turn part of the back yard in to an aerial picture (after two studying about the Hopewell Indians and mounds).  Their picture was dugout, in the shape of an elephant and a duck head, created to “hold wasted water.” (The photographer, Rebeccah, and Kimberly who had studied the mound builders, explained while building that this wasn’t heaped up dirt, but it  would look good from above.)

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Sometimes fun is just looking through a magazine together.

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Cousins turn long car rides into parties!

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When Grandma joins in, cousin time is even more fun!

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Cousins share passions with each other – like a love for waves, wind, and water! (Yes, the dots in the cool March water are most of the sister-cousins!)

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When cousins move away, the distance doesn’t stop the love that they have for each other.  Even Lucas, who was two when his “baby Isaac” moved to the Midwest, still talks about “when Isaac and Mandy and their baby come play trains with me.”  (He’s never seen his “baby” cousin, JJ, except in pictures, but he loves him anyway!)  The beauty of cousin love is when they reunite, it doesn’t matter time, distance, or changes, each is so excited to see the other and they seem to instantly pick up where they left off; like the best of friends.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

 

 

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