Tag: time

Truly Thankful

Give Thanks in ALL Circumstances

January 21, 2022

Truly Thankful

(Note: This post was written December 11, 2021 while I was in whomever-banned-my-computer-operating-system-from-the-internet limbo.) 

I am thankful for grace today. 

Louis was at a standstill in interstate traffic yesterday waiting to turn off on our exit and glanced up in his rearview mirror to see a white car racing toward him without slowing down.  He twisted the wheel to avoid hitting the cars in front of him and accelerated to lessen the impact – and our car is still crushed so bad the back doesn’t exist anymore.  All of the doors were so damaged he had to climb out the window and even his driver’s seat is broken.  No airbags deployed though, our $5,000 worth of rebuilt engine we did four months ago is still in great condition.  Car starts, engine runs, no fluid leaks, but without a working rear axle, that sweet engine is meaningless. 

I’m just happy Louis looked up and turned the wheel.  Without it, he would have been crushed between the stopped cars in front of him and the vehicle that hadn’t noticed everyone else was stopped.

Thank you, Jesus, for his being alert. 

I am beyond-words thankful that my husband is still alive. 

I picked him up at the gas station while he was on the phone with the insurance.  She said after listening to his description of the crash, “I’m so glad you are here and able to talk to me now.”  He said he thought he was going to die but refused to just sit there and watch the car kill him without trying to do something. 

Sometimes life flashes before your eyes.  It was December 10, 2021 – my Daddy died on that day three years ago.  Three years ago in the middle of work my mom called and I left to meet her at the hospital, but my Daddy was already gone.  Without his being alert, December 10th could have been also the day I lost Louis.  That thought was bizarre. 

Logically, since he had called and said he was okay, would be busy calling 911 for the lady behind him, and would later need me to pick him up, I told my boss he was in an accident and I’d need to leave to pick him up.  Christina was almost at the gym.  Plan was she could cover for me. 

I tend to look at things logically.  Cars and things can be replaced but people cannot.  I could be mad about it, but that doesn’t do any good.  Instead, I’ll choose to look at the positive.  We’re here.  Louis is still doing life with us.  We have a temporary fix to our down to two cars with five people working issue.  And Monday we move…

Thank you, Jesus, for deciding December 10, 2021 wasn’t Louis’ time to go home.

Thank you for reading,

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

New Season of Beginnings

Life moves on! Our new seasons and stages

August 31, 2021

New Season of Beginnings

As I drove to work, I noticed the goldenrods in bloom. My mother always told us that meant six weeks to cooler weather. Everywhere I have lived, that bit of seasonal information has held true. From Virginia to South Carolina and, yes, even in steamy Florida.

The thought of seasonal change made me smile and reflect on the seasons of life our family is shifting into this year:

Christina started her first day at an “away” college. She’s a junior at Embry-Riddle. Her literal first day of classes was today. A season of independence for her – her eighteenth birthday is looming closer than I want to believe. Secretly, I already consider her an adult. I’m so excited for her and pray for wisdom in her new ventures!!

Christina took her sisters shopping!
Coach Christina spots a bridge

Rebeccah got her first request that wasn’t family for her art. Her birdies are almost old enough to sell. Her hobbies are blooming the imaginative artist within her! She has been raking up driving hours with us… Sixteen is too close.

Kimberly has taken on teaching roles at home, at gym and at church. She loves teaching. She loves tutoring. She is growing patience and understanding. She is facing tough decisions between CAP and Xcel Team gymnastics. Her goals, respectively, were officer rank and team. Made one! The new restrictions and the lack of social interaction at CAP versus the unlimited freedoms, friendly faces, and encouraging camraderie at her gym. She asked me to make her decision… I have to let her decide and I will support her decision.

Kimberly and Jaquline

Jaquline is maturing into a young lady. Mom may not be ready for that! She loves gymnastics and thrives in her books – she, just like her older sisters, is a bookworm. Jaquline is beginning to enter her realm of personal responsibility and leadership.

Jillian is learning to manage friendships and learning to discern when to follow and when to lead.

Lucas entered school “officially,” as he’s first grade. He is enjoying his new challenges!

Big sisters like to take pictures and selfies…

Thea started Gym-N-Learn at WGV Gymnastics. Mom isn’t ready for some of the skills she tries, but her ability to learn from others and take direction? Yes, that is so awesome!

Each season is a new discovery of challenges. Of fun and fabulous adventures… Of making new friends, finding new loves, achieving new goals…

Life constantly moves forward. You can never go backwards in life. If you missed something, start over. Renew. Rejoin. Always move forward. Someone said to me, “you’re such a dreamer, you’ll never have your own (house).” But I believe in God’s timing and plan for the future while living in the present! I embrace this new season nd pray for wisdom to guide my younglings (and not so young younglings) through their new seasons of life.

I hope as this season starts for you, you remember the awesome past, look to the future, and build memories in the present!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Independence Day 2021

Independence Day 2021

July 10, 2021

“Freedom fireworks!” Screams one of the littler girls when she hears me say, “fireworks over the Matanzas starts at 9:30.”

The best fireworks show in the world (okay, maybe since St Augustine is my city, I might be a little biased) is our downtown spectacular “Fireworks Over the Matanzas.” Every year since our little family moved to St Augustine with a one-year-old little Christina, we’ve been down at the bayfront when the sky explodes with vibrant colors to musiç that stirs your soul and shakes through your shoes up to your chest.

My sisters have joined us, my mom came to her first one with us in 2019, various nieces and nephews have camped out in the stroller (now retired) or on blankets at the festivities. We dance, enjoy the day, watch fish, marine life, and people.

This year it was park late, walk fast, and get there with 15 minutes to spare!

I love our tradition!

As long as we have “Fireworks over the Matanzas” we will be there. Sometimes more than “Tart, party of 9” and sometimes less as the kiddos start branching out, but we will be there!

This year was exciting as everyone stayed up through the show but also sad because Christina wasn’t there (in Indiana doing pilot stuff).

Time marches on.

Seasons change, stages overlap, and years pass by. You have 18 summers (maybe) before your infant, who slept though her first Fireworks, becomes an independent adult. That could be scary.

This year Christina is 17, going to Embry-Riddle, and just graduated with her AA and is blowing our expectations out of the water! I’m so humbled by watching this amazing young woman become an adult.

Becky went to PreMed camp. Her triumphant return with a passion that turned my silent introvert into a chatterbox relaying exciting experiences and new goals and plans made me thankful for our decision to send her. She is such a caring heart and her passion is contagious! I’m humbled by this beautiful heart I’m getting the privilege to connect with. I’m praying God grants me the wisdom to guide her as she chooses her next steps.

Kimberly had a difficult decision to make for summer and did it with grace. I’m proud of watching her take control of her responsibilities.

Jaquline is proving herself a competent household manager and baby/toddler whisperer. I can’t wait to see what God does with her tender servant’s heart.

Jillian is learning to take direction and focus better. Her live of sports and can-do attitude make for a world of possibilities! I’m praying this season teaches her responsibility and determination.

Lucas is growing by leaps and bounds. I pray his tender heart continues to protect others.

Thea is learning to count by 10s and quarters!! (That made Jaquline and I blink) “Mom, I need 25 *raises 1 finger* and 50 *raises 2nd finger* but not 75 *raises 3rd finger* for goldfish.” She was right, goldfish snacks at gym need 2 quarters aka 50 cents.

Treasure each stage. Embrace each challenge. Look for the positive in what appears to be negative. Find truth. Choose joy. What few summers you have with each one will slip away faster than you think. It wasn’t like last year (with no Fireworks over the Matanzas) I thought, “Christina won’t be here next year.” Nope, didn’t cross my mind. Just like I balk at the thought that Becky is beginning to mange her own schedule… As is Kimberly.

Just like pregnancy (I love being pregnant, the feel of honor carrying life), you never know when “the lasts” will happen so you have to treasure each moment.

Enjoy your last half of summer! Make some memories!! Do the unexpected simple things (like play a game outside in the light rain) to make this summer special. Treasure each moment. I’m trying to…

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Easter Surprise!

April 5, 2021

Easter Surprise!

Becky has been spending six weeks with Grandma up in Tennessee visiting family and traveling around. The best part I’m sure being the special time with Grandma.

Originally, I thought she would be back just before Easter, however, it became April 5th return in time for her dentist appointment and braces adjustment.

I try very hard to be a mom who lets her children slowly develop independence. I let my older girls plan their schedules, agree or deny to work outside jobs like babysitting or dogsitting or volunteer time, choose their college classes, lay out their educational and financial goals, etc.

They start on their journey toward independence as soon as they can pick clothing by choosing to dress themselves and it expands as their responsibility grows. I mean, one of our main goals as parents (mine as a mom, at least) is to raise responsible and independent adults, right?

I was honestly sad about the thought that, for the first time, one of my babies would not be with us for Easter.

Christmas and Easter are big holidays in our house.

Christina and Kimberly have both missed New Years due to encampment, but we don’t do much there anyway except stay up late and watch movies like “Holiday Inn.” (Sometimes the big girls buy sparkling grape or apple juice and toast in the New Year.)

I know that as they grow there will be holidays were we are not all together. I know this. I try not to let that make me sad. But in a hidden back spot in my mother heart, it does.

When Easter came, Becky texted me to say they were on the way. It’s a loooong drive from Tennessee. I expected Monday.

At church, I dropped my Thea at the nursery, Lucas and Jillian were at kid’s church, Christina serving, and I was sitting with Louis, Kimberly, and Jaquline. As I sang, the first song was one of my favorites, I reminded myself to be thankful for my family and chose not to be sad about Becky not being with us.

Then this face smiled at me.

I found myself crying and overwhelmed with emotion. Thankful beyond belief, happier than I thought I would be, Becky and Mom had surprised us by showing up for service!

What an amazing Easter surprise! Christina cried when they popped into the nursery before coming to service! (And she had recently lamented that no one ever surprises her.)

Thank you, Jesus, for my amazing family and for all You give us!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Rejoice 2020 – Becky

November 18, 2020

Rejoice 2020 – Becky

Towards the end of the year, I always begin to reflect on the changes that have occurred in the year. Overall, they end up being positive – and those are my highlights. As it is close to Thanksgiving, I thought I’d brag a bit as I ponder on the changes I’ve seen in Becky this year.

Becky started 2020 discovering that she enjoyed the sport of gymnastics! I loved that because since I work at WGV Gymnastics, we get to drive together and she is the default DJ in our car because she picks up on the moods and knows how to use music to make everyone dance. I love spending extra time with my children!

She overcame a lot of obstacles that this unusual (if I hear the other word again – and you know which one – I will shriek!) year has thrown at her. Like our family has done, she pulled herself up, found either another way or something else, and managed to rise out with a smile!

Smile! Oh yes, one of Becky’s highlights of the year were her braces! She finally overcame a bad habit that kept her from getting braces (power of determination) and can now accurately be called “metal-mouth” until near the end of next year. She’s doing a great job of keeping them maintained and cleaned. She has been dreaming of braces and straight, beautiful teeth forever… but then, she still wants to major in orthodontics or some branch of dentistry.

Becky also managed to embark on two new ventures right as she turned fifteen:

First, she started a job. I never would have guessed that between “afternoon two shifts” and “morning three shifts” she would take “Preschool Program Coach” in the mornings. Becky is totally my night owl, so this did surprise me. She does this well.

Second – watch out world – she got her learner’s permit for driving.

And a phone. She pays for her own phone now.

I’m totally amazed and very proud of my little lady (okay, tall young lady who has been taller than me for a while) and her accomplishments this year. Becky has been working on herself. She is learning to understand herself and others around her. I see more empathy from her.

I pray for her daily as she begins to try her young adult wings in the world of “adulting” – as my teenagers call working, classes, activities, volunteering, and paying bills.

She dreams of building an aviary for her little feathered loves (parakeets now) that will allow her to add finches, lovebirds, and even more avian pets. I see that being accomplished soon because she is smashing through everything and accomplishing what she wants. Her determination is a very strong thing. Her ability to work through challenges and keep her word makes me proud. I know God has wonderful plans for her now and in her future.

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to have your beautiful daughter to raise! She is learning to lean on You and trust You in everything. She is loved so much by her family and even more by You – I pray You protect her, guard her heart, build her self-esteem, show her Your love and bring those You want guiding her into her life.

I hope this total Mom-blog piece today encourages you to find the positives and look at the accomplishments of your little blessings through this tough year. What did you see that made you smile? What challenge did your child find a creative solution too? Rejoice in the positives!

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

Worthy of Love

You are worthy of love!

September 7, 2020

Worthy of Love

Did you know that even when you have blown everything, Jesus still loves you? The Bible says that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Translate that into real life:

Even while we were still doing evil stuff that makes God sad, He held out the eternal salvation to us. This gift cost Him the blood of his only son, and He was okay with giving that to us as we were still doing things to make Him sad.

Often in our life we get told by our own mind, “you aren’t good enough.”

It goes something like this:

“See what mistake you just made, they won’t love you anymore because you did that.”

Then you get sad. You feel discouraged. You try to win their love. You know what is really sad? Most of the time, those inner voice thoughts are lying to you! The person you thought you “wronged” because you forgot something or didn’t remember to text this or called while they were at work or accidentally said that – um, they laughed it off or *SHOCK* didn’t even notice! They certainly don’t hate you for that slight.

Or like this:

“God can’t love you, you aren’t good enough – look what you just did!”

When we sin, God does feel sad. Like a parent whose child knows what they shouldn’t do but they do it anyway. Life choices have consequences. God doesn’t save us from all of the consequences of our choices just like a wise parent lets the child walk through the consequences they can handle. This is so we learn from our mistakes. But guess what. God still loves us! Just like we still love our children!

You know what the Bible says about inner thoughts that do not align with God’s Word? We are to think on good things (whatever is noble, just, of good report…) to retrain our mind to see things in God’s perspective. This is hard to practice sometimes.

I often judge myself too harshly. I can’t seem to find the right reset button. I end up digging myself further into sorrow by trying to reset. I need to learn to just abandon ship; jump off and give the whole ship and my rescue to God. Then the reset day would actually be better!

From simple such as “the day not going well” to life-changing such as “rejection letter from college.” All of those things in between – don’t allow failures to drag you down. Read and study – in history, most people fail before they rise. Those who give up on life never achieve what they want to achieve. You have to stand, look at the failure and let God move.

I try to fix it. How can I redo this so it isn’t a failure? That isn’t always the answer because sometimes that whatever-it-is just isn’t meant to work. God can redirect us and show us what we need to let go and what needs to move forward – and He’ll lead you toward the right path in order for you to apply yourself into something He wants you in!

I’ve learned it’s always best to let go and let God do it. But my mind always wants to fix everything. I can say “I know this” but it’s really hard to put the knowledge into practice sometimes. It gets harder when you feel there is no safe place for you. There is. God has given you places and people to be around that are working in His love – it may be a best friend or a family member or a co-worker.

Someone needs to tell you this: You are worthy of love! You are so worthy of love! The Creator of the Universe loves you! That is your building block. From that, all things grow and prosper. You are worthy.

Read this slowly with your name in the blank (and tell your mind to be quiet, no negative “buts” added on!): “__________ am loved by God. I am worthy of unconditional love just as I am.”

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Sand in a Glass

Sliding Sands in a Glass Bottle: Life thoughts from Sand Art

August 21, 2020

Sand in a Glass

We were making sand art at summer camp yesterday.  As I was pouring different color sands into tiny cute plastic critters and shapes for the cute crew of younglings we call campers, one said, “I want red like in The Wizard of Oz.”

I didn’t remember the red sand in the hourglass that the wicked witch sets up for Dorothy. 

Instantly I thought of time slowly falling through a tiny hole like the red sands dropping from my spoon into the funnel to fill the little dinosaur. 

Time does just slip away.

So many times we say, “later,” or “when this is finished,” or “maybe next time,” or “when I’m not so busy.”

But I’ve learned that if it’s something I want to do, I need to do it now.  As soon as possible.  Before the person I want to do it with moves away, grows up, changes schools, changes jobs, etc. I’ve learned to live life in the now. That doesn’t mean I don’t plan for the future and have goals. It means that when it comes to relationships, I always choose now over later.

When someone is gone, it is too late.

You never want to live with regret.

We used to measure time with sand in a glass. Hourglass. That’s an old concept for most of us. I mean, really, how many of us have even seen an hourglass unless we happen to be a fan of “The Wizard of Oz” or play games like Scrabble, Boggle, or Guesstures? It isn’t just a 3-minute timer (it is in the aforementioned games). An hourglass historically was used as a reliable measure of time. It was flipped every time the last grain of sand slid into the bottom and someone yelled out the new hour. On ships, at military forts, etc.

That is how life was measured.

Now we have digital everything and except for a few traditionalists like me, constantly glancing at a timepiece on my wrist governed by fancy cogs, we seldom know how to read that analog device sitting somewhere in the distance. We certainly don’t depend on the flipping of an odd shaped sand-filled bottle.

Our life on Earth is like that hourglass though.

We have so many grains of sand before they run out.

Those few seconds of distraction were enough to finish my spoon of red sands into the plastic reptile. “What color now?” I ask. She picks blue, dark sparkly blue, and I ask, “a little or a lot?”

As I pour a little line of dark sparkly blue, I think, “and God fills our life with different layers or seasons.”

Yellow and dark sparkly purple follow with “all the rest” a black that looks like someone shredded a jet stone.

I think of how we are blessed with so many seasons of time with those we love. Some long – some short – some impact our lives just for a day. Each season of life we spend with each other is like a different layer in sand art; unique and special. Something to enjoy. Something to treasure.

I pray that I take time to treasure each relationship I have and those that will come.

One of the campers is swinging his sand art furiously – “mine’s all rainbowed!” He had a perfectly lined rainbow; red, two orange tones, yellow, two green tones, blue, indigo, violet, lavender, and black at the top. Now it is a fusion of color that looks like gray muck with spots of brilliance.

Wow. My writer’s brain goes into overdrive with that one. Bright spots in the mundane. This is what time spent in relationship is. For instance: we spent 3 days at a winter getaway with my family once and talking to my kids you would think it was an entire 3-month winter season! Those memories together is a bright spot in the normalcy of life that they bring out fondly whenever they please.

Thank you, Jesus.  Help me to treasure today, build relationships that last, and make memories for tomorrow.

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Life is Risk

May 26, 2020

Life is Risk

Life is risky. How many people get out alive? (I’ve heard that from two sources this week, and it got me thinking…)

Our goal since the beginning of time has been to build this net of safety around our family to allow our offspring to grow in relative peace – to be fruitful and multiply.  How we each define peace greatly fluctuates based on our culture, time, and prosperity.

Think through culture and time.  Isn’t relative safety for her offspring the goal of every mother who ever lived?

Imagine Eve carrying her children outside of the garden.  Even though animals were still peaceful then, there were dangers that had arisen.  I wonder if she lamented over what was lost or considered her time peaceful.

Imagine being one of Noah’s daughters in law.  You grew up in a time when every step you took was surrounded by evil and except for the tiny oasis of your husband’s family unit you felt scared to go anywhere.  You couldn’t go home.  Now you are post-flood and raising your children in a world where peace is your constant – except for the new storms.  How thankful you are to be in such peace!

Imagine you are a Jewish mother raising her children under Roman occupation.  The slightest whim of a passing legion, an unruly governor, insane emperor, or a bandit troupe can take your harsh living conditions and twist them into certain death.  How do you dare to plan for the future when you know only scattered moments of peace?  When the odds are that maybe 20% of the village’s children will live to maturity?  One in five of your children will die before adulthood – how can we in this culture fathom this?

Imagine you are an orphan whose parents both perished in a famine and you were lucky to have been taken in by another family instead of doomed to die or languish into the horrid world of child slavery.  You are second class in your home with little hope of being more than a worker paid in room and board, but at least you are not starving. You fear famine and disease, ugly monsters who still stare in the windows of your village hungrily; where can you find peace?

Think of stories. Fiction, non-fiction, legends, lore. Don’t most of these follow someone who chooses to do something risky to help others, find an answer, discover a cure, or save someone or something they love? Risk-takers. Once I read, and many times have heard quoted, “in order to live, you have to take risks.” Honestly, what activity doesn’t come with risk?

Across times, across cultures, across this world, what we in the “first world” countries of the twenty-first century know as peace is something most people who have come before us would have thought at heaven.  Consider that in most places and times in the world, the thought that you will see all of your children become adults is rare.  We are in shock at this?  There are people even today who live in cultures where lack of medicines, inadequate nutrition, and the possibility of becoming collateral damage in a conflict are normal.

A hundred years ago, the simple concept of sanitation was so unknown to the majority that we can’t understand.  People dying of fevers and botulism without medical assistance? Do we even hear of food poisoning in our comfortable first-world culture?  Rarely.  Once upon a time importing unknown food products into new markets such as potatoes into England resulted in thousands of deaths because people ate the wrong parts of the plant!  We don’t hear of that often, do we?

When we consider breathing air too risky to take a walk for exercise, I consider my life not worth living.  I want to live.  I want to take risks.  I drive in a car to get to and from work – great risk is involved in that.  I want my children to enjoy the green growing outside.  I want them to run freely, love deeply, play with neighbors, and live.  I live by the same code I always have: I trust that God will decide my time and I will live my life to show my passion through everything I do.  I will not avoid stopping to help someone with their flat tire because she isn’t wearing a mask.  I will offer help.  I will not dampen my offers of help, comfort, food, or a listening ear because of some sickness – I would still talk about Jesus if it was illegal.  Why would I not show His love?  I choose not to be fearful.  I am so blessed to live in a place where the gunshot wound that killed Lincoln could now be healed, cojoined twins sharing a brain can be safely separated, babies born at 20 weeks can be nurtured to full strength; medical miracles have come from our increased knowledge in nutrition, anatomy, biology, and sanitation… and so much more. 

I will not be afraid.  I have always washed my hands, changed clothes when coming in from work, washed and changed after visiting someone who was sick, cleaned my food, and kept my home and family clean.  I understand that we have tools to keep us healthy.  The rest is up to God.  If I am to hide from this fear, why not from the fear of every other disease that circulates?  Why not hide in my home away from items I am allergic to?  Why not hide from the fear of getting in a fatal car accident? 

I refuse to allow fear to control my life!  For you have not been given the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

I understand being cautious.  If you have a preexisting co-morbidity, you probably already keep yourself distant from possible infections that would aggravate your condition.  You do not go out in public without taking precautions.  The responsibility of your own health is on you, not everyone else around you.  No one understands your personal strengths and weaknesses better than you. You are weighing your risks.

But I am willing.  I am willing to take the risk of driving to work, the risk of walking into the farmer’s market, the risk of hugging my neighbor, the risk of helping a woman with a flat tire, the risk of adopting a new pet, the risk of living. 

This choice is one each person in each culture, stage, time, and place must make for themselves.  If you choose to live without fear, you must understand and accept the risks.  Just as you understand that a person may deny your offer of help, they may not wish to go out of their home, the may wish to keep everyone around them ten feet away.  That is each person’s choice. 

Learn. Read. Question.  We have more access to more knowledge than ever before. Research. Then make up your own mind and take the risks you are willing to take. 

Only a relative handful of people choose to research a mountain, outfit themselves, and climb to the summit; the risks are great – they could even die!  But when they reach the summit, the rush they get from their massive accomplishment usually makes them enthusiastic to begin planning a new mountain climb before they have even returned to base.

You must accept the risks of life to truly live.  I choose not to live in fear.

Thank you for Reading!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Stepping Back

Stepping Back

February 23, 2020

My little love is one! I’m 37. We both had birthdays this week. This is the first birthday for one of my children that I missed.

I was on my way to a meeting at work when I got two adorable videos from Louis – my littlest baby, looking at her first birthday cupcake Grandma Joanne brought her while everyone sings “Happy Birthday” and her little toes wiggle happily.

I could have let that make me feel really blue. I almost did because I had a rather sour day at work that morning – I’m a perfectionist, should explain everything (right?)

As I watched that video three times, there were two voices in my head:

The first was saying things like: Aww how cute! How sweet that they took a video! She’s having so much fun!

The second jumped immediately on top with: You aren’t there. This is the first birthday cake you haven’t done with any child! You neglect her. You neglect them all. You work too much. You are missing your children’s lives. See how much you miss.

And the second voice doesn’t shut up!

I went through the meeting. That second voice was still screaming in the background on the way back to work: If you had any business sense, you could have been good at Beachbody like Katy, you could be a real author making a living at it, you could have sold makeup, you could still be at home. Why didn’t you…. You could have been… If only…

It boiled down to this: YOU ARE A FAILURE!

But I’m not!

I refocused. I took a deep breath and steadied myself on my way to gym – the voice tried again because my baby didn’t even come to gym on her birthday because Daddy and big sister kept her at home (she was pooped after birthday fun).

I am doing my best.

Most importantly, I allowed myself to step back and look at the bigger picture. That is really hard when voices – your own voices in your head – are screaming at you. Your logic tells you they are accurate! Your emotion agrees with them! All the parenting books you’ve read, teachers you’ve listened to, and “stats” you’ve seen about raising children all tell you the voices – the accusing second voices – are right. BUT NO!

Step back. I stepped back.

For 15 years, I’d been the one at home (yes, working from home too) to see the firsts. With Thea, Louis has been.

He said he loves the baby stage and is so thankful he isn’t missing all of it. He felt like he was never around for the others. I’m so happy he gets to be home in the morning/early afternoons in this season!

I had an awesome relationship with my Daddy. I want that for my children, especially my girls; for them to have an awesome relationship with their Daddy. Louis gets to spend more time with them.

I stepped back.

We have joint goals. We have family goals. A house that means a new start for us – rooms for everyone and more than 4 feet of counter space in the kitchen! We are accomplishing that!

I stepped back.

I LOVE my family, and they know this. Just because I work two jobs in this season doesn’t change that. We both got to go to Christina’s first University tour! (That wouldn’t have happened with other jobs!) We both get to go to the gymnastics show in May. We all get Sundays together as family days (that has never happened in our family lives – service industry doesn’t give up weekends!).

I took another deep breath. The accusing voice had stopped. This was because I started to mentally pray: thank you, Jesus, for this season of life you have us in. It may be hard, it may sometimes seem like too much, other people may think it’s too much, others may judge, my logic might be telling me it’s not a good place… but I am SO grateful for the season I’m in right now! I pray for guidance daily and until God says “let it go,” I’m holding on to the gifts (jobs) he’s given us. Thank you!

If your inner voices are ripping you apart…

Take a deep breath. Steady yourself. Step back. PRAY. Be grateful for what you have and pray for wisdom on what to allow to let go.

Listen to God’s heart.

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Sister-Cousin Outing

December 22, 2019

Sister-Cousin Outing

You often read that cousins are usually your first friends.  They know all about you, love you regardless of your differences, and enjoy life with you from start to finish…

Gaylord Pearson Family (My parents & siblings) – 2002

I always dreamed of how close my siblings and I would be as adults and prayed our children would grow up together, loving each other as true friends.  Just like sisters and brothers.  My sister, Katy, even started the kids calling each other sister-cousins and brother-cousins – they act like siblings when they are together.  They are tight as buddies and fight like enemies – yet love each other through all celebrations and disagreements. 

So this day, Jaquline, Jillian, and Anastasia had a sister outing!  Becca (my sister, Anastasia’s mom) took all three of them to go see Frozen 2 in a real theater – oh see those smiles? 

Sister-Cousin Outing @ Frozen 2! L-to-R: Jillian, Anastasia, Jaquline

I didn’t hear much about the movie except, “it was good,” but heard all about the jokes, fun ride, giggles, and enjoyment of their time together. 

I try to teach my littles to focus on relationships – invest rather than spend time.  I also want them to have competent adult mentors to look up to.  I pray they never feel they can’t talk to me, but I hope that if they feel they can’t, they know they have dozens of family members and close trusted friends they can go to.  Aunt Becca is such a strong, wise aunt (and super fun), my older girls have already gleaned life wisdom from her and ask advice sometimes.  (And since Mom is as much a student of makeup as they are… they honestly are waaaaay better at it… they usually ask Aunt Becca for beauty advice!)

I so admire how my very busy sister takes time to invest in my youngsters!  They LOVE all Aunt Becca outings!

I try to invest time myself – especially in those little humans I’ve been blessed to raise.  I sometimes feel time slips away.  (You know, when I realize that was the last Thursday morning I’ll be required to drive Christina to college as she gets her license the day before her next semester starts in January.)

I choose to enjoy each moment

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

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