Category: Uncensored Thoughts

A Writer’s Character Secret

Writing is an outlet for emotional and logical discussions for me.  When no one wants to talk about what I want to work out in my mind, I write.  I write for relaxation. 

A Writer’s Character Secret

September 21, 2022

Writing is an outlet for emotional and logical discussions for me.  When no one wants to talk about what I want to work out in my mind, I write.  I write for relaxation.  It feels fun, challenging, and often makes me happy to be in my ”book worlds” I have made up. 

For me, my “book worlds” allow me to explore things I can’t in this life.  It’s like dreaming with my eyes open.  I switch from book in progress to book in progress – I am currently working on about 18 titles actively.  My mood in real life decides whom I want to step into in my brain.  I know where each of my characters are in the stories – I know where I left them.  Thus, I reread the last few paragraphs and dive in with whatever comes next. 

Like my teenage self – lots of writing done then.  I started when my father noticed I was “wasting” my school notebooks for stories, and he suggested I type them.  I had a shoebox filled with 3.5”disks containing three or four stories each! 

Imagine:

Her frustrations, emotions, dreams, adventurous spirit, and everything hidden deep within her as she worked her way through these books were laid out in her own stories tapped at a furiously increasing pace in MS Works on her father’s computer saved on a 3.5” disk.  Her first completed story was her take on a true abortion survivor story.  She became her characters.  Her characters acted out and solved the problems she was facing.  She talked and acted her characters and plotlines out while raking, mowing, or gardening in various locations.  She was Erakk.  Fighting to keep his character sound when faced with odd decisions he’d rather avoid.  She was Jordan.  Her desperate heart cry to be understood and learn how to teach bloomed from his soul in what was to become “Web of Deception.”  She was Kelly.  She was the girl struggling to lead and keep everyone together as their tiny band of outcast survivors developed a whole new world of peace and love.  She became Kelly.  The woman who mothers with an understanding she has gained from life and full dependence on Jesus.  She was Kalina.  She boiled with anger and frustration at not being allowed to do the things she desired with every fiber of her being and ended up learning that what she really wanted was only a small step in a journey back to what her elders had advised her to reach for in the first place.  She was Ethan.  An outcast in his own mind searching quietly for a sense of belonging he thinks he can make on his own despite the true reality that those close to him care deeply for him.  She was Jamie.  Facing challenges that feel too far above his age and making choices that defy the expectations of those above him; always choosing the answer of integrity and honor.  She became Philip.  Overcoming challenges in life that happened beyond his control yet bringing everyone along and pushing his family through to success in the end.  She was Jo.  Fiercely defending her sister from evils that trick the heart and destroy those close to her – blinding everyone except her.  She was Jason.  Defending his family from evils that weaseled their way into his family from years of incorrect choices by three generations behind him that build to forcing his father into being possessed into something he isn’t – now he has to choose to believe that the threads he holds onto are his father’s true self and force the evil away. 

The stories continue.  Some are finished.  Some may never be…

A writer puts himself into the shoes of his characters and wriggles his toes around.  We walk lifetimes in their shoes.  We put ourselves in each character we create. 

I always have a character in a book or series that I consider my shadow; sometimes it is the protagonist like Jordan in Web of Deception.  Sometimes it is a supporting character like Philip Duggar in Brantley Station Saga or Kelly in The Devonians. 

Oftentimes there are bits of me in each character.  Strange thoughts…

I know, crazy writer’s brain, but that’s what I feel.  That’s what it’s like to write for me. 

If you stuck through this one, thank you ever so much for reading!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Armor of God

WOW! Just wow, personal study and crazy writer’s brain thoughts on a recent Sunday School lesson!

Armor of God

August 31, 2022 (Timewarp from August 8, 2022)

At Sunday School yesterday, the study was on the Armor of God (Ephesians 6, if you want to check it out).  When I was ten (approximate age of my class), I loved studying different cultures, their people, ways of life, weapons, costumes, you name it.  This armor of God passage clicked for me because I had just been reading of how the armor of the Etruscans, Greeks, Romans, Babylonians, and Egyptians had invaded or defended and defeated greater numbers due to their armor – either a superior weapon, superior body armor, superior tools (like chariots), superior tactics (like phalanx). 

It was pretty easy to get the first part; our enemies aren’t other people walking around even though we’re tricked into thinking so and shove all our energy into being mad instead of focusing on the real enemy.  It was the rest about all the cool armor that glowed to life with my recent understanding:

With all your armor on, you will stand strong; only with your armor (through Jesus), will you stand. 

(The Bible repeats this for emphasis!)  Super neat!  Only with this armor (all of it requires Jesus, like He’s the master Creator who designed all this stuff in the first place, you know!) can you stand tall in victory!

Having your loins girt about with truth…

(My thoughts, again) Having is one of those multi-tense verbs in Greek, meaning have, having, and has had, aka always having or continually having.  Girt = girded, or strapped around.  In the body armor symbolism, being “girt about” or “girded” was having a belt/sash/rope tied tightly around your clothing to keep it in place and as a holder for weapons.  Most sheathes were looped or tied onto the belt.  The truth is the Word of God.  (My ten-year-old brain already got this from Sleeping Beauty as the Sword of Truth is the Word of God – the voice of Light with the power to defeat darkness.)

(Still my thoughts) This translates to: continually having the Word of God in your mind.

…and having the breastplate of righteousness…

(My Thoughts) Same sentence, so this is still in the cool multi-tense of Greek.  A breastplate was a thick piece of padded armor covering the front and back – most types connected at the top of the shoulders, and covered both the front and back, sometimes the front was more heavily padded.  The strongest of these deflected arrows!  All of them lessened the impact of bodily attacks.  The purpose is to protect vital organs, like the heart, lungs, stomach, etc. 

…and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace…

(My thoughts again – remember, same sentence, same tense) Wow!  The preparation of the gospel of peace is like when John the Baptist is preparing the way for Jesus!  It is the telling of everyone without regard to our own life and safety!  It is the understanding that the eternal is the most real and that this life is temporal; a vapor, the Bible says!  “Shod” is an old word that means “covering the feet.”  Our most common use today is when we say a horse is “shod” – his feet are protected!  My feet are being protected so I can share the gospel to prepare others to come to love Jesus as I do!

…above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith you shall be able to quench the fiery darts of the wicked.

(thoughts…) Oh my!  This one!  Just wow!  First off: this is “above all” so primary!  Our defense is primary (of course, so we can continue to be effective, a wounded soldier isn’t effective).  Then: fiery darts can be translated to arrows, flaming arrows, projectile, etc.  “Fiery darts” in the Roman era when Paul is writing were the most devastating weapons because they were usually arrows or spears with the ends coated in a pitch/tar mixture that was lit before tossing or shooting and did its job effectively by sticking into the target, spreading, and burning.  Quench means “to put out.”  Basically, this shield can smother any fiery dart and since elsewhere the Bible warns of the devil throwing “darts” at us, it means everything the devil could throw at us is extinguished!  Translated in my brain I saw the shield of virtue (yes, I’m reverting to my ten-year-old brain again) that the evil dragon breathes fire on and not even the heat burns his hand!

…and take the helmet of salvation…

(again) Helmets were to protect the head and later, the neck, one of the most vulnerable points.  I think of the helmet protecting the brain; keeping fiery darts from our minds – the place most unseen attacks start for me.  Salvation is the only way.  Jesus is our salvation so He is the only way.  Putting on the helmet of salvation puts us under Jesus and therefore our mind is protected!

…and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.

(my crazy thoughts again!) Finally!  A weapon!  The sword of the spirit is the Word of God.  That can’t be more plainly spelled out, can it?  The only weapon we wield that can do any damage is the Word of God!  Isn’t that cool?  Jesus used scripture to combat the devil when He was being tempted in the wilderness, when the Pharisees tried to trick Him, in answering His disciples, and anytime someone questioned something He did (you know, like healing on the Sabbath).  If that sword is the one Jesus chose to use, we should follow His example!  

…praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching with all perseverance and supplication for the saints.

Challenge accepted! (My thoughts again)  Anyway, that translates to always having communication with Jesus and (prayer = talking, communicating) and asking everything (supplication = like begging or pleading) in the Spirit watching out with perseverance (perseverance = standing strong) and pleading or asking for every other brother (saints = followers of Jesus).  So I took this / take this as a challenge from Jesus – He just told us this armor was so we can stand strong!  Remember, “In this world, we will have trouble” but He has already overcome the world!  Putting on all of His armor, which is tried and true, tested already for us, will enable us to stand strong and exterminate the attacks of the enemy!

This passage study is a little glimpse into my crazy writer’s brain that connects everything from cartoons to real life to old culture study to word origin and entomology.  I use all of these things to analyze and interpret literature – including the Bible!  When someone sends us a letter, we read it in his voice, so when I read the Bible, I read it as a letter from Jesus.  The only way I know His voice is by reading and using the miracle of intelligence He gave us; I analyze and step into the time then and translate it to now.  Crazy, I know, but still super cool! 

Our weapons are a sweet total covering of armor for defense, a shield of ultimate defense (nothing gets through it!), and the best weapon ever made! 

Thank you for reading,

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Exploring Big Sister’s Campus

I love watching the younglings do something new; why I love just walking and exploring. We can always find something to enjoy when we slow down and ignore the overbearing stresses of life. Take a break. Make yourself take a break.

Exploring Big Sister’s Campus

Throwback Story from (October 24, 2021)

I am sitting with Thea at the side of a pool on the Embry-Riddle campus because we chose to ride down with Christina for her Sunday afternoon flight block.  Thea is laughing at pictures “Anastasia and the Bunny-Bear” from Easter at gym.  (The Bunny-Bear is the Easter Bunny outfit Jaquline & Kimberly wore.)  “The Bunny-Bear loves my gymnastics!” Thea says and laughs.

She jumps around; we’ve already walked the campus and she’s pointed out “safe” lizards (I told her here the lizards are not allowed to be chased) and flowers and bumble bees and honeybees and “boys and girls at Christina’s school.”  She’s asked me almost everyone’s name.  “What’s that boy’s name?” “Who is that girl?” “Are they all Christina’s friends at school?” (She goes to gym-school and all of those participants are her friends, so she assumes everyone at the school you go to are your friends.)

After listening to my stressed-out teenagers discussing life in the early afternoon, I’m convinced I didn’t do a great job of teaching them how to enjoy life and be grateful for the moment they are in.  Sometimes that is really, really hard.  Sometimes life’s circumstances don’t seem good.  Sometimes it’s hard to be grateful – but you have to!  I usually feel like I’m enjoying what I am in.  I am grateful for the life I have; I love my family, my job, my church – those are the important things!  I am so happy for the amazing things God keeps doing in our lives!

Christina and her educational journey is a continuing story of how God keeps answering prayers!

I’m so thankful for the people God has put and keeps putting in the path of my teenagers and young children through church, gym, and friendships.  Becky has learned so much from the mentors in her life.  Kimberly has positive role models who keep encouraging her. 

Our journey has been full of ups and downs like any life story.  We have to find the positive and focus on that.  Like right now.  Thea is running around on the “Water-bridge” after touching the “scary man” (metal statue of Wilber Wright) tentatively.  She’s singing something I can’t figure, likely made up, and I’m typing. 

Perfect contentment while exploring the strange surroundings that are Christina’s school.  I’m sure I’ll hear lots of stories about the man, the critters, and the “boys and girls” she discovered. 

I love watching the younglings do something new; why I love just walking and exploring.  We can always find something to enjoy when we slow down and ignore the overbearing stresses of life.  Take a break.  Make yourself take a break. 

Enjoy the slow down.

It makes life more fun!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

New Season of Beginnings

Life moves on! Our new seasons and stages

August 31, 2021

New Season of Beginnings

As I drove to work, I noticed the goldenrods in bloom. My mother always told us that meant six weeks to cooler weather. Everywhere I have lived, that bit of seasonal information has held true. From Virginia to South Carolina and, yes, even in steamy Florida.

The thought of seasonal change made me smile and reflect on the seasons of life our family is shifting into this year:

Christina started her first day at an “away” college. She’s a junior at Embry-Riddle. Her literal first day of classes was today. A season of independence for her – her eighteenth birthday is looming closer than I want to believe. Secretly, I already consider her an adult. I’m so excited for her and pray for wisdom in her new ventures!!

Christina took her sisters shopping!
Coach Christina spots a bridge

Rebeccah got her first request that wasn’t family for her art. Her birdies are almost old enough to sell. Her hobbies are blooming the imaginative artist within her! She has been raking up driving hours with us… Sixteen is too close.

Kimberly has taken on teaching roles at home, at gym and at church. She loves teaching. She loves tutoring. She is growing patience and understanding. She is facing tough decisions between CAP and Xcel Team gymnastics. Her goals, respectively, were officer rank and team. Made one! The new restrictions and the lack of social interaction at CAP versus the unlimited freedoms, friendly faces, and encouraging camraderie at her gym. She asked me to make her decision… I have to let her decide and I will support her decision.

Kimberly and Jaquline

Jaquline is maturing into a young lady. Mom may not be ready for that! She loves gymnastics and thrives in her books – she, just like her older sisters, is a bookworm. Jaquline is beginning to enter her realm of personal responsibility and leadership.

Jillian is learning to manage friendships and learning to discern when to follow and when to lead.

Lucas entered school “officially,” as he’s first grade. He is enjoying his new challenges!

Big sisters like to take pictures and selfies…

Thea started Gym-N-Learn at WGV Gymnastics. Mom isn’t ready for some of the skills she tries, but her ability to learn from others and take direction? Yes, that is so awesome!

Each season is a new discovery of challenges. Of fun and fabulous adventures… Of making new friends, finding new loves, achieving new goals…

Life constantly moves forward. You can never go backwards in life. If you missed something, start over. Renew. Rejoin. Always move forward. Someone said to me, “you’re such a dreamer, you’ll never have your own (house).” But I believe in God’s timing and plan for the future while living in the present! I embrace this new season nd pray for wisdom to guide my younglings (and not so young younglings) through their new seasons of life.

I hope as this season starts for you, you remember the awesome past, look to the future, and build memories in the present!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Hold Longer

August 17, 2021

Hold Longer

A song came on the radio today. It was the first time I heard it. Casting Crowns’ song called “Scars In Heaven” played while I was on the way to after school pickup.

The first line says “…if I had known it was the last time…”

I almost cried. I prayed, “thank you, Jesus,” because the last time I saw my Daddy on Earth I did “know.” It was a nudge, a distant feeling I almost tried to brush aside in disgust.

Of course this isn’t the last time I’ll talk with Daddy, I told myself.

But I listened to the nudge. I’m forever thankful for that nudge.

I waited until I would be almost late to pick Christina up from the library (it was going to close). I hugged him tighter than normal. I did just what the singer of the song is lamenting he didn’t do. I have always tried to listen to that tiny nudge of a voice that usually is right in the back of my head. My mind usually tries to argue with it. Like then. I tried to brush that feeling away because even though my Daddy’s health wasn’t great, I didn’t want to believe I would ever walk in and not find him sitting there, ready for long talks, vibrant discussions, and heartfelt conversations.

I heard the singer’s heart hurt as he sang of how if he’d known, he would have held on longer, hugged tighter, talked longer… But we never really know.

God tells us no man knows the hour or day of his own passing.

My father and baby sister are in heaven. My baby never met her Boompa. I didn’t really cry or grieve for them. They were both prepared for death. Both loved Jesus and are now in His presence. I can’t logically cry for them. (I’m way too logical over deep things but I find it’s the silly little stuff that makes me cry.) I wasn’t ready for either of them to go. Just like we are often not ready to die, we are also never ready for a loved one to die.

My Daddy gave me a special gift long ago… He had grown up without his mother (she died when he was 12) and when we were living in Sylvania and had a friend with cancer, he once said, “enjoy every day, you never know when Erica will go home.”

So true. I couldn’t even cry for her. She loved Jesus and let everyone know how excited she was about getting to see Him.

That life lesson has stayed with me. I never don’t say bye or I love you. I leave them with a smile. I don’t ever want someone’s last thought of me or my last thought of them to be bitter. I live as if each time I leave someone it may be the last time I see them. Not that I’m reckless or clingy, but I’m open, honest, and speak the truth about my love for them.

I never want someone to regret their last meeting with me.

I always listen to that nudge. I’m so grateful for God’s warning I got that afternoon… For the happy call from Charley in Mom’s kitchen six months later with Mom & Mary when I brought Christina to loan her some deposit money… For the happy memories of talking a bit longer, hugging a bit tighter, saying “I love you” before I left.

Always hold a bit tighter, hug a little stronger, chat a bit longer; always say “I love you.”

I hope you listen to that song. I pray you always remember to love while you have the time.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Be Grateful

Resetting my perception focusing on having an attitude of gratitude!

April 28, 2021

Be Grateful

When I hear those words, an old cartoon comes to mind where a woman tells an orphan, “and be grateful too!” after pulling her around by her scarf. The girl waits until the woman is gone and shouts, “I am grateful; grateful to get away!” Even though that is a bit silly, my mind uses that to remind me that in all things I can find something for which to be grateful.

Sometimes when I try to pep talk myself through what is weighing me down, I hear a whisper say gently, “be grateful, this is a gift.” But my mind yells back, “be grateful? What can be good from this?”

Modifying our perception is how we teach ourselves to always find something which deserves our thanks.

I tend to start with things that ground me. Mentally, it goes like this:

I am thankful for air to breathe,

clean water to drink,

healthy food to eat,

a sturdy roof over my head,

my family, friends, pets,

a job I love and a Christian boss,

a church my children love and that makes me feel at home,

salvation and the hope of eternity with Jesus forever…

Then the list goes on and with those, I realize the setback, problem, or whatever reason for previous sadness isn’t really that important.

I have to shift my perception back to true reality. I have to ground myself back to what is truly important. My happiness is not based on my circumstances, but on my hope in Jesus. God has gifted me an amazing life and I plan to enjoy every moment of it as best I can!

An attitude of gratitude… That is what I say and what I mean!

I’m so grateful for every breath I take! Jesus, thank you for life!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

I’m Fine (Don’t Go Deep)

March 13, 2021

I’m Fine (don’t go deep)

You know, someone says politely, “How are you today?”

Preprogrammed for courtesy, we reply automatically, “I’m fine.”

But are you really “fine?”

Or does that really mean, “I’m hurting, but don’t ask?”

In our society, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of pretending we are okay.  Of pretending there is nothing behind our mask distorting our inner soul or crushing our heart or making rivers of silent tears run.  We bottle up the true emotions we are feeling and hide them safely where no one can touch them. 

Where no one can judge us.

Where no one can think we are imperfect.

Why do we want to appear perfect?  Why is it not okay to show vulnerability?  Why is a parenting question suddenly turned into an accusation that we are not fit to be a parent?  Why is a question about how to handle an emotion turned into an accusation that we are depressed?  Why must we instantly judge others instead of allow them to safely talk through their emotions?  Can’t we all admit that sometimes we are angry? Irritated with a coworker? Disappointed with a child? Frustrated by a situation? Unsure about feelings?  Can’t we all admit that we are not perfect?

When we comprehend the full meaning of the word “Forgiveness” we can choose not to judge others or ourselves. 

Forgiveness is love.

Forgiveness understands that we listen and let it go.  Forgiveness understands we are all imperfect. Forgiveness doesn’t consistently remind a person of a previous failing.  Forgiveness is not holding a grudge. Forgiveness doesn’t gossip. When you find someone who truly understands forgiveness, treasure that true friend!  Strive to be that friend yourself.

I process emotion by writing because I can’t always be talking with someone who will just listen.  I’d love for there to be a portal like in Star Trek where I can say, “beam me to” and instantly be at my best friend’s house so we can discuss mutual struggles and listen to each others’ individual issues without judging. 

I understand forgiveness. She understands forgiveness.  We both understand that sometimes just admitting to another human that we are human is enough to help us work through our challenges.  This I think is the essence of the verse where it says “iron sharpening iron;” we are to listen, encourage, and edify.  We are to speak the truth in love.  We are to listen with love.  My Daddy used to say, “God gave us two ears and one mouth because He wants us to listen more than we speak.”  I still twist back to “To Kill a Mockingbird” and Atticus telling Scout that in order to understand a man you have to listen well, put on his shoes, wiggle your toes around, and walk a ways with him. 

Listen.

Don’t judge.

Be quick to forgive and slow to wrath.

When I feel overwhelmed, I pray.  I sometimes wish I could just talk to an understanding friend.  I don’t like facades.  I don’t like pretending I’m okay.  Yes, I understand that God is in control and that everything will turn out in a way to glorify Him; but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to ask rhetorical questions that I already have answers to just to help my brain process the thoughts or emotions within.  My feelings are real.  They are valid.  I know how to make my mind calm and to cast all my worries on Jesus.  My desire to discuss my emotions with another honest human is not agreeing that I don’t trust; it’s admitting that I’m human and don’t want the festering hidden thoughts to poison my mind. 

In my Devonians world, the adults talk as if they have no fear of each other.  They ask questions and advice of each other.  They admit to fault.  They don’t pretend to know everything.  They act the way I feel.  They are the epitome of what I imagine we were made to be.  Honest humans who discuss feelings and help each other.  Of course, that’s fiction.  But using that world and the characters within it help me to put my questions to a nonjudgmental audience – I basically have them discuss things that sometimes never make it to my books so I can understand my own mind and heart.  Crazy?  Yes.  Truth?  Yes.

I miss my Daddy the most when I am overwhelmed.  Even though I still pretended I was fine all the time, I could get him to discuss theoretical issues with me or book scenarios that moved my mind to a happier place. 

Like music.  Loud, fast music that I can sing to.  (Can’t sing anymore but my hope is that someday my voice and lungs will heal and I’ll be able to sing again. Thea’s never heard me sing a song that doesn’t sound like a dying chicken.)

How are you?  What do you need to talk about?  Or as Philip usually asks Jamie in Little Thief, “what is it you don’t want to talk about?” – because he knows his little brother better than anyone else…  He is an understanding friend.

I encourage you to find a true friend with whom you can discuss anything that is troubling you.  Someone who will listen to your heart.  Someone to whom you can listen.  Listen, encourage, and pray together.  Build each other up instead of tear each other down. 

Sharpen each other!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Judgments

What do you instantly presume based on a look? This cup, for example:

January 7, 2021

Judgments

It starts with this cup:

Judgement – instantly you either love or hate me, but you also immediately assume I spent $3 to $5 on the “coffee” I’m drinking.

Actually, I’ve never bought Starbucks. This cup? Well, I’m love my meal shake “cafe latte” hot and I’m a mom so that means 10x trips to the microwave… this cup’s predecessor two years ago was green and white and was perfect for the serving size and microwavable!! I hate waste. That green and white cup was destined for the trash… I saved it, sanitized it, and used it for almost 14 months. This cup was also someone else’s discarded trash.

Now, knowing that, you are either grossed out that I take trash, wash it, and claim it, saying “better you than me,” or you are applauding my penny-pinching way of getting exactly what I want and saving the landfill at the same time.

Isn’t it crazy how we judge?

Someone in the food bank line driving a really sweet immaculate older model Jaguar wearing a tailored suit jacket, $400 eyeglass frames, and a Rolex. You can choose to judge, “what is he here for?” or “he could sell the car (watch, frames, jacket) for money,” or whatever thought because you feel he shouldn’t be there.

Step in his shoes. Did you know he’s a former businessman whose life savings went into a dream business in fall of 2019 – just a small operation that employed 27 people. His jacket? It’s the same one he wore to his retirement party years ago. He has sold all the others. His eyeglass frames? Those were his late wife’s. He gets his prescription put in them for sentimental reasons. His Rolex look-alike? Inscribed with “to my love; come home safe; Christmas 1969” he received it in the spring of 1970 in Vietnam. His car? He takes care of it and cleans it himself – he’s had it for 22 years. The dealership won’t even give him $500 for it without locking him into a new loan he can’t afford; it is a cheap used car. He chooses to keep his employees at work but is falling deeper and deeper in debt so yes, he stretches his food budget with the weekly box from the food bank.

Have you ever read “To Kill a Mockingbird?” That book is an excellent tool for teaching you how to always treat everyone with kindness and consideration. Atticus teaches his children, and the reader, how not to make hasty judgments. Jem actually judges people and in his thoughts and conversations with Scout, he professes what Scout is thinking; they learn how their quick surface judgments are most often wrong.

Since I’ve read that book as a youngster, I decided to leave the judging to God. I strive to treat everyone with kindness. I strive to kick the judgmental thoughts from my mind before they affect my heart or bleed into my words.

Another great book for that end is “The Shack.”

In both instances I referenced, the book is far more poignant than the film, but the films do a decent job of getting the point across.

Treat others with kindness. Leave the judging to God. He alone knows the heart. Can our sour swift judgments harm? Yes. If we are to be the feet and hands of Jesus, we also need to speak his words to others and in our own hearts. When we allow own hearts to be poisoned by our own sour thoughts we allow ourselves to make hasty judgments, in turn we make poor decisions and usually harm others. We are putting a stumbling block in front of them! This is not how we are supposed to love.

As parents, we also need to avoid making hasty judgments about our children. We may know their hearts, sure. But what good can come of judging without listening? Always ask. Always talk. Always be available for them to speak to you. Your children do know your heart based on what you have shown them during their life – they need you to be a safe place for them to express feelings and emotions and speak troubles. This needs to start from the beginning and continue even when it is hard.

My father was always open where I could talk about anything with him. He guided me through dating and the first few weeks of engagement, he encouraged me to search for character traits, gave me logical wisdom as I relayed scenarios and answers, and offered questions for me to ask that led my fiancé and I into deep discussions where we discovered each other’s hearts. We came to understand our religious, political, family, and deep convictions through soul-baring conversation and intimately know each other.

I am forever thankful for the few months of guidance that led me to understand my future husband. I wanted to be someone my children could come talk to without fear, like my father had. I hope my children always understand that my love for them will never change. I will try to guide them. I will listen. I always try to listen first. I have a fix-it mentality though, which makes it a struggle to just listen when I care about someone and want to help them.

I have to learn, still, that people don’t always want help. They want ears to listen to their heart.

This is treating others with kindness.

Avoiding preconceived judgments (back to my iconic cup).

Listening without judging.

Praying before speaking.

Hearing without repeating (aka no gossiping).

Loving as Christ does.

If I am to be His hands and feet, I need to be his ears and mouth as well. I need to leave judging to God.

(Hope this encourages you as much as writing it encouraged me.)

~Type at you later.

~Nancy Tart

Rejoice 2020 – Becky

November 18, 2020

Rejoice 2020 – Becky

Towards the end of the year, I always begin to reflect on the changes that have occurred in the year. Overall, they end up being positive – and those are my highlights. As it is close to Thanksgiving, I thought I’d brag a bit as I ponder on the changes I’ve seen in Becky this year.

Becky started 2020 discovering that she enjoyed the sport of gymnastics! I loved that because since I work at WGV Gymnastics, we get to drive together and she is the default DJ in our car because she picks up on the moods and knows how to use music to make everyone dance. I love spending extra time with my children!

She overcame a lot of obstacles that this unusual (if I hear the other word again – and you know which one – I will shriek!) year has thrown at her. Like our family has done, she pulled herself up, found either another way or something else, and managed to rise out with a smile!

Smile! Oh yes, one of Becky’s highlights of the year were her braces! She finally overcame a bad habit that kept her from getting braces (power of determination) and can now accurately be called “metal-mouth” until near the end of next year. She’s doing a great job of keeping them maintained and cleaned. She has been dreaming of braces and straight, beautiful teeth forever… but then, she still wants to major in orthodontics or some branch of dentistry.

Becky also managed to embark on two new ventures right as she turned fifteen:

First, she started a job. I never would have guessed that between “afternoon two shifts” and “morning three shifts” she would take “Preschool Program Coach” in the mornings. Becky is totally my night owl, so this did surprise me. She does this well.

Second – watch out world – she got her learner’s permit for driving.

And a phone. She pays for her own phone now.

I’m totally amazed and very proud of my little lady (okay, tall young lady who has been taller than me for a while) and her accomplishments this year. Becky has been working on herself. She is learning to understand herself and others around her. I see more empathy from her.

I pray for her daily as she begins to try her young adult wings in the world of “adulting” – as my teenagers call working, classes, activities, volunteering, and paying bills.

She dreams of building an aviary for her little feathered loves (parakeets now) that will allow her to add finches, lovebirds, and even more avian pets. I see that being accomplished soon because she is smashing through everything and accomplishing what she wants. Her determination is a very strong thing. Her ability to work through challenges and keep her word makes me proud. I know God has wonderful plans for her now and in her future.

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to have your beautiful daughter to raise! She is learning to lean on You and trust You in everything. She is loved so much by her family and even more by You – I pray You protect her, guard her heart, build her self-esteem, show her Your love and bring those You want guiding her into her life.

I hope this total Mom-blog piece today encourages you to find the positives and look at the accomplishments of your little blessings through this tough year. What did you see that made you smile? What challenge did your child find a creative solution too? Rejoice in the positives!

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

Sunsets and Rainbows

What I see in sunsets and rainbows!

November 13, 2020

Sunsets and Rainbows

Sometimes when you want to feel amazed, just look up. Seriously. Up at the sunrise or for me at work – the sunset. The sunsets over the intersection of interstate 95 and International Golf Parkway are amazing. It often happens with a bold artist palette of vivid colors like deep purple, bright blue, orange, yellow, pink, and red. Because this is Florida, we often have moisture in the sky (aka raindrops) that hide clear rainbows in the opposite side of the sky.

I’ve seen more double rainbows outside the doors of my gym than everywhere else combined. God’s promise of mercy.

When sunsets come, they remind me of the awesome things God has given us that all too often we brush off. It also reminds me to slow down. I have to take the time to enjoy the blessings I’ve been given rather than race through life as if being chased. I’m not being chased by anything! I’m in an amazing point of my life where I’ve stopped chasing the pipe-dream of home ownership and realized that it really doesn’t matter. I’ve been able to slow down and enjoy. I love the job I have! (stepping outside to see sunsets and rainbows is definitely a sweet bonus) I get to work around smiling, happy faces, hopefully instill confidence, positive work ethic, determination, and excitement in the hearts of the children I am honored to coach, encourage my coworkers as they encourage me, and watch my children grow in skill and confidence (and getting to see them every break is tremendous)!

I have chosen to focus on relationships. I am trying to connect with my family and friends at every opportunity. I want my children to understand the importance of relationship with encouraging believers.

I have chosen to focus on writing again (my computer that was fixed ended up with the cable to the display being pinched by the metal bracket that supports the display because it was moved when “repaired” and now the cable is shorted… so back to borrowed computers until I can repair it myself). I felt such a surge of writing energy – going from less than 5,000 words to over 22,000 in only one story in just a few off days since it was repaired? Wow, I feel like God has opened my creativity again. Despite computer issues, I will be writing!

I sold one ebook through Amazon! First sale in over a year, so that’s positive!

My boss has graciously let me put up a display of real books at her ProShop (At least 50% of sales price gets donated to the gym program!) and I am supposed to have illustrators (*clears throat*) working on drawings for my children’s books.

At this point, I’m trying to study my children, show them how I depend on Jesus, study my husband more so I can love him better, and develop or water friendships I cherish with my sisters, brothers, and friends. We’ve been able to get Becky’s braces, get Christina’s adult dental stuff started, we discovered Kimberly needed glasses & got those, and are planning to start Jillian’s and finish Lucas’ dental needs too. God is providing as we need it. Provision will come. “Give us this day our daily bread.”

Rainbows remind me of mercy.

Remember before the flood there was no rain? All the world was watered from the ground. Mists, fog, who knows, but the Bible says “the water rose up from the ground” to water the Earth. So imagine Noah and his family – they had never seen a rainbow! NEVER. This was a first for them. It was recorded as God setting His rainbow in the sky as a promise to every living thing on Earth that He would never again destroy the whole Earth by water.

That is mercy. Mercy is showing undeserved favor. Parenting teaches mercy on a whole new level.

Consider when someone is saying and doing things to cut you down constantly, hurting others you love, cutting deep into the hearts of you and those you love with their words, irritated with life but taking it out on you as if it is your fault, doing things and saying things that hurts them, etc. This irritates and saddens you. You love them still. You can’t stop loving them. You carried them and prayed for them and watched them be birthed and loved and cared for them and slowly watch them grow. You know you have to slowly release them and you hate yourself because you feel they aren’t ready but this is where you have to let go and trust God.

This is where you understand mercy. Love when you are undeserving.

You then see that is how Jesus sees you. You hurt His heart with some choices and actions or words. You hurt yourself. You hurt those He loves. You pull away when He is trying to patiently guide you yet it feels wrong or you decide to follow another. You do not deserve His love. You deserve judgement for those you have hurt. Yet Jesus showers us with mercy; new mercies each morning.

This is what rainbows show me.

My heart still hurts for the pains I feel my teens are feeling. I wish I could get them to talk openly and listen as openly. I wish I could once again kiss the hurt and it go away – but that doesn’t work anymore. They now need to allow Jesus to wrap His arms around them and comfort them. They need to allow Jesus to lead them and guide them.

I have to love them.

I also have to protect the hearts of my younger ones. Yes, sometimes from the words or actions of an older sibling. That really hurts.

I’m not going to kick them out of my house and never out of my heart; just as Jesus has not kicked me away and has loved me through all of my mistakes. I need Jesus’ mercy every day.

Rainbows remind me of this.

Thank you, Jesus, for sunsets and rainbows. Thank you that we get to see them almost daily. Thank you for love, mercy, and forgiveness. Thank you that you teach me daily in this task called parenting.

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

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