Tag: teen

Dating Decisions – Part 4

Dating Decision Part 4: Dissecting Real Life and True Love #DatingDecision #Decision #Dating #Focus #Choice #Purity #Liberating #Saving #Love #Understanding #Choices #Allow #Marry #Marriage

September 23, 2020

Dating Decisions Part 4

If you’ve kept with this series so far, you know I’m almost 18 in the story now. I’ve been studying myself, trying to shift my focus to Jesus and become the woman I know He wants me to be. I’ve been people watching everyone. I am still very shy around my peers. I am only comfortable talking about dreams and hopes and principles; not very good at small talk. I die after “I’m good, how are you?” But ask my opinion on something and you get more than you wanted. I am a good listener. I sort people into boxes depending on what they tell me: mental boxes labeled, “stay away,” “like to be friends,” “want to learn more from,” and “never in a million years.”

I hit 18.5, had gone out to Disney Springs with several friends from work twice (which my Daddy fully encouraged and wanted to know if we’d met any guys… no, we goofed off, went to a comedy show, watched the two oldest drink “Monkey Brains” from a monkey-head mug and get sillier by the second, sang along with a band, people watched, danced line dances at the country bar, and did cartwheels on the AMC stars waiting for my mom & the two other younger friend’s rides). After relaying this to my Daddy, he shook his head and said, “that sounds like ten year olds instead of adults!” I grinned, “but it sounds like friends hanging out in your stories.” Yes. I was crazy.

I was working at Disney and during the few lunch breaks I took, I joined the two other girls who claimed to be Christ-followers and we encouraged each other. It shocked me. Of all who asked me out there, every one of the “boys” (I refused to call them men per my Daddy’s earlier definition) expected a date to end with sex. No. No dating for me. At 18, getting a little bolder, I had started wearing a silver ring with my birthstone that my Daddy had given me a few years back for a birthday gift. I told anyone who asked me out that it was my virginity ring and a symbol of the vow I made to save myself for my future husband. That kept a few of the nicer “boys” from trying to ask me out. One named Guy said, “awesome, sister!” overhearing my spiel and encouraged with, “keep it up.” No, he didn’t ask me out; none of the few single “men” I met asked me out at this point.

The most important step in my dating decisions came when I left Kissimmee. I moved the last time with my parents (told my Daddy, “just one more time.”) and once in Saint Augustine I became an assistant in our youth group. I saw so much sadness and pain in the preteen girls I tried to mentor. This was the first time I agreed to help out with teaching youth. I prayed for each girl by name.

I discovered that the most important part of any girl’s life was to fall in love with Jesus first. Really. Truly. To give Him everything about you. Not to keep anything back – regarding life, love, boys, men, thoughts, heart. A girl’s first love had to be Jesus. A boy’s first love had to be Jesus. We went to a Rock the Universe concert and I listened to Nicole C Mullen tell us about how Jesus had to be our first and primary love. For all of our life; single and married, we had to constantly be “chasing” after Jesus. I realized that I was trying to keep control on my future and needed to surrender everything about my future to Jesus.

That was my final conscious dating decision: I decided I would always be a woman chasing after Jesus; that I would love Him foremost and that my future husband would love Jesus first as well. Jesus is my first love.

I learned that the term “missionary dating” was a huge thing for young girls. They seemed to think that by dating a non-Christian they were doing a good thing. I studied with them and we learned that the Bible clearly says being unequally yoked (aka a non-Christian and a Christian) does not work with God’s plan.

Basically there is one rule for Christians in marriage from Jesus and it is really simple: Ready?

Men: marry a woman who love Jesus.

Women: marry a man who loves Jesus.

There isn’t a “wrong one” if they love Jesus, there is only a “wrong first love.”

Jesus should be our first love. We should allow Him to hold our heart safe (the Bible calls it “protected by a hedge”) and wait on Him. If the person we are dating loves Jesus first, they will know how to love us. If we love Jesus, we will know how to love them.

We don’t obey Jesus out of fear, but out of love. As a Christian, we choose to avoid sin because we know sin breaks God’s heart and our passion is to serve Him with love. I wasn’t truly saving my purity for my future husband – I was obeying Jesus and His design because I loved Him. That should have been my first focus. Once I truly understood that my obedience with my body was because I loved Jesus it was liberating! I was understanding that God made sex in His perfect design and that within His rules, it was something to be looked forward to. (Honestly, at 18, I was still at the point where I thought “it” was super gross… dorky, I know.) It became less about rules and more about love.

“I am saving myself for my future husband because I love Jesus and He says it is the way.”

Once I wrote that in my journal, so much of the teenage garbage and pressures from everyone around me seemed to melt. It was perfectly okay to be a virgin adult. (Did I write that? Yep. I had so many from many age groups laugh at me and even my sisters teased me because I had what they called “virgin lips.”)

I was a few days from 19, still never been on a date, when I went to my Daddy’s family reunion in Georgia. Every one of my cousins and my siblings in their teen years had been on a date; most over 14 had already kissed. It was super laughter day for them. I loved that day. I loved now being able to witness to kids my age or younger about Jesus’ love just because they couldn’t believe I was wearing a ring on my wedding ring finger to remind me that my heart belonged first to Jesus.

It became a witness goal for me. Jesus used that tiny band for me to talk to so many young people during this season of my life. Most laughed. Almost all of them laughed. But I found myself praying for them and maybe my words helped a few.

We moved within Saint Augustine and started going to a new church. This was the first place I didn’t immediately jump into helping. I was almost 19 and still didn’t have a license. Instead I found myself trying to make friends. I wanted people with whom I could share life. I never wanted to leave the place called Saint Augustine. I had found a place my heart loved. I felt Jesus telling me this would be my home.

Fast forward 20 years:

I did leave dating and marriage and family up to Jesus. (Yes, stayed in Saint Augustine area.) I married a man who also loves Jesus first. We continually learn and love Jesus more and learn and love each other more – our relationship started with each of our first dates. In the world’s eyes, we were each other’s first loves. Really, Jesus was and is the first love for both of us. We loved Jesus with our bodies and futures. We each respected the other enough to wait until we were married. We didn’t “try it out” first. (BTW; Our chemistry is just fine!) We will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary in November. In November 2052, we will celebrate our 50th. We are in this for the long run. Our focus is on Jesus in our love and marriage as it should be in all things.

My constant prayer is that people realize that their sexuality is not divorced from their spirituality. God made us complete. Just like our physical hunger shouldn’t make us decide we need to eat unhealthy things, our sexual hunger shouldn’t make us decide to do unhealthy things. Our ability to control the natural hungers or desires within us is what proves we are free. One can only be 100% free by giving everything to Jesus.

My story is uniquely mine as yours is uniquely yours.

My story is the tale of a girl discovering her self through Jesus. It is the story of a woman continually choosing to follow Jesus every day and in each decision. Often, I fail. I fall out of focus and instead let the negative self-image that my mind sees try to convince me that I’m worthless. Jesus says we are loved. Bought with the price of His blood from the slave market of sin – all sins. He knows the innermost parts of our mind, heart, and soul and still loves us! Nothing is too bad that makes us unloved by Jesus. He reaches out His hand so we can choose to charge our life in big ways and small ways and continually choose to live our life to show people Jesus through our actions; they will know us by our love.

I choose to focus on Jesus. I choose to focus on my first love. Through Him, and only through Him, am I able to show the love for myself, my husband, my family, and others around me in a way that reflects Jesus.

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

Dating Decisions – Part 3

Dating Decisions Part 3: Discovering Real Life and True Love

September 20, 2020

Dating Decisions – Part 3

At this point in my story I am a few months into 16, realizing that my focus cannot be on someone else. Jesus is my answer, my hope, my truth, not some guy I will meet “eventually.” That brought more peace to my crazy teenage mind than any other decision I had made since choosing Jesus as my personal Savior.

I determined to stand on the principles of virtue that I wanted to find in my future mate. If I had high expectations, it stood to reason that he should as well.

I had already told God (when I was 12) that I would keep myself a perfect gift for my husband. I did some silly girlish stuff that I kept hidden – like write letters to my future husband as I was journaling. Several, actually most, of these letters were destroyed by inquisitive dogs and siblings long before I was 19. I understood purity to be in the mind, body, and heart. Of all the people I interviewed, none told me they wished they had “tried it out first” but almost every person who had “tried sex out” before marriage told me that they wished they hadn’t. Most of them cited trust issues after marriage as their reason. A few told me it made them feel less worthy or made their partner less desirable. Several did not marry the person they “tried out” with. My Daddy told me that once a boy makes a conquest, he thinks of the girl as dirty, trash, something to be discarded. He said that was why he never wanted to use anyone. He told me “men don’t use women but boys use girls.” The silver screen brought that to life in “Spencer’s Mountain” where they get the cow bred and Dad says to son something like: you aren’t a bull and your woman won’t be a cow. That image stuck with me. Stories about my Daddy’s friends, relatives in our extended family, and from my curious interview subjects led me to the understanding that if someone doesn’t respect your decisions in regard to your personal limits, they don’t truly respect you at all.

That led me to the decision that should I be dating someone and they choose to ignore or press my limits, I would back up and leave. Don’t respect me = deal breaker.

I also decided that I would give them just as much respect as I expected. That was something I already did because I was raised that way, but I made that mental decision and wrote it down just to solidify it. If I couldn’t respect them, I wouldn’t waste their time. A wife is expected to respect her husband.

I started to think of myself as a wife-in-training. I had read a devotional book where the woman writer referred to her students as “women-in-training” and I loved that idea! I’m big on apprentice type learning. Show me, direct me, and I pick up rather quickly. I think that actually learning from someone with real world experience is the absolute best. (Another reason I LOVE the movie “War Room” – if you haven’t seen it, DO IT.) I picked out the qualities that I needed to work on (like patience and not nagging) and started trying them out on my siblings. Siblings had taught me that I was low on the patience thing. (Truthfully, children have taught me that I’m still, constantly, and will be forever working on the patience thing.) I am a big sister who likes to not allow her little siblings to get in a situation she knows how to prevent, but I had to sit back and let them learn after only one warning. My Daddy boomed a deep-belly laugh when he asked 17-year-old me why I let my little sisters go out in white shirts (in Florida afternoon, Kissimmee = 10 minute torrential rainfall at precisely 3pm) and I replied with “I warned them, but I’m trying to learn how not to nag, so I only said it once.”

My focus was now on myself. I understood that I needed to be a better person for my siblings, parents, and my future family. This was just the beginning.

I was still feeling tremendous pressure from peer groups to “date” like my siblings. My study had led me to the belief that dating was a long series of pre-marital interviews. I had been to job and volunteer worker interviews. I knew that the most direct way to find out if a person was a good match for the job or position was to ask direct questions. At 16, I could no longer blame my daddy and say “my Dad won’t let me date until I’m 16” therefore I began being super direct by asking, “do you love Jesus?” About half of those who asked me out laughed in a scoffing manner and (since I was primarily around church groups) respond with, “I go to church.” My reply to that “puffy religious response” was equally “puffy religious” – “no thanks. I can only court after I’m 18.”

At this point, mid-17, I still had an excellent relationship with my Daddy. I would tell him when someone asked me out. Once he told me my standards were too high, that I was expecting perfection. My reply was, “I’m looking for someone at least as much in love with Jesus as I am; the man is supposed to be the spiritual head of the family.” I was super-focused on getting into UMR or FIT at this point (two engineering colleges I was chasing) and my Daddy was big on education which is why I believe he didn’t press the matter really. I told him I wasn’t planning on dating until I was ready to marry. That became a repeated line whenever I was teased by family or my sister’s friends. One guy I didn’t like approached me about “hooking up for fun” and I asked him if he was ready to raise a child. His entire friend group left me alone.

I had devised an entire pre-programmed set of responses to boys and now men because I had yet to be asked out by anyone I actually would have dated. There had only been two young men whom I watched and admired the character of since I was 16 and neither asked me out. I actually had deep discussions about Biblical issues with both of them and discovered more about “Biblical courtship” from the latter when I was 17.

I delved deeper into the idea of Biblical courtship with a book I stumbled upon just before I turned 18. “I Kissed Dating GoodBye” by Joshua Harris – I didn’t agree with all of the book, but there were many bits that helped me to understand the whole courtship thing.

I may have bent your ears too long in this epistle. Oops!

Ready for the biggest decision of my dating steps? Covering that next time…

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

Dating Decisions – Part 2

Learning the focus is on me: Dating Decisions Part 2

September 18, 2020

Dating Decisions – Part 2

My first realization when I started thinking logically about dating came from a series of Christian youth books by Robin Jones Gunn – even “Christian” dating was messy!

I don’t like messy anything. I like clean houses. I like clean living. I like open honest relationships. I hated how, even with people the protagonist wanted to have life-long relationships with, she lied! Or at the least bent the truth! In the books, she always ended up trying to correct those lies and asking for forgiveness, etc. because it was a Christian book trying to teach about doing life as a Christian in our carnal world (and Robin did a great job). I discovered that my idea of “date” was totally 1950s (or maybe even 1800s) and not relevant to the world I really lived in. I found Christian youth of my time (late 1990s) were trying to reinvent what they called “dating” by calling it “courtship.”

I wanted to be best friends. I wanted to get married to a man who was happy doing Pooh Bear’s “nothing” with me and enjoying it. I wanted someone who I was comfortable with. When I looked up the word “intimate” in my ancient dictionary, it said “to know and understand the deepest parts of the soul.” I wanted someone with whom I could be intimate.

The second big decision I made came about at a Christian summer camp where I was a junior counselor. First, a little backstory:

I started seriously working on myself as a preteen. I wanted to be a better sister. The song, “I Want to be Just Like You” by Philips, Craig, & Dean, was my inspiration. I cried so much when I first heard it because I realized my baby sisters and brothers looked up to me. I was actually walking my sleepy 1-year-old sister to get her to bed one night with WKCL on the radio. My mind twisted the lyrics so the he and him was they and them. “I want to be a holy example for their innocent eyes to see…” etc. I cried because I was not a “living Bible” in any sense and I wanted to be that positive role model. When baby Mary was born, I was years into the process of allowing God to change me into a better sister (which later helped me be a better mom).

I am a people watcher.

I am an analyst (like my Daddy).

I would get frustrated almost every time we moved with the hypocrisy and boys I met in youth groups who actively talked about things that shouldn’t be. I got more sexual garbage tossed my way from them than from male coworkers, my Daddy’s younger business associates who thought I was older, and the general guys I met in the feed store! I would approach the various youth leaders (we moved very often and I was always the new kid until I moved a few months later) to address the situation because I did not feel comfortable smacking truth at the various boys. When I started getting mostly, “they are just boys” reactions or laughter or “that’s actually a compliment” (he had tried to touch inappropriately and I moved away and instead he made comments I had to look up the meanings of later), I got seriously frustrated. I would throw my hands up mentally to God and say, “are there seriously any boys actually chasing after You in my generation?” Looking back, I think God just smiled, shook His head at my silly teenage prayers, and would allow me to read an awesome story or see or hear some young man acting out God’s love. It was usually right as we moved away, but always this little drop of encouragement that made me feel like I was not alone in my trying to be a Jesus-following-teenager.

*Side Note* (My girls are showing up to be way bolder than I was – Thank you, Jesus! – and they actually drop truth bombs when someone is doing or saying something inappropriate. That I think is awesome because it is a far better testimony than just stepping away and handing it off to an uncaring third party.)

BUT: my focus regarding dating was still carnal. I was looking at them. I was trying to find “the perfect guy” rather than focus on myself. Sure, I was working on being a better me with regard to siblings, parents, and general truth and study, but I had yet to apply it to all areas of my life. In our culture, we are constantly hit with “finding our soulmate” or “finding the one.” We are focusing on us finding a match. If we are leaving eternal salvation up to God, why not leave matchmaking up to God?

Fast forward to summer camp and I’m 16. Part of being a junior counselor was the requirement to attend 5am to 7am workshops (aka sermons/lectures/Bible studies). I’m listening to one of the camp counselors talk about how he and his wife didn’t start out God’s way and it was messy. His entire program was on not dating someone who wasn’t on equal spiritual footing (aka, DO NOT be unequally yoked to a nonbeliever). Of course, he and his wife ended their story as Christians working to rebuild and repair their marriage and family – but his eyes when he spoke of the wasted years fighting and trying to control each other and using their kids as weapons against each other and divorce and coming back together… those eyes solidified what became my second solid dating decision. I had already written it years before in a community youth group workshop to “list qualities you want in your future spouse,” but now it was not just a “what I want” it was a deal-maker or deal-breaker:

My husband will be a godly man who loves Jesus with all his heart.

And my third decision came at the same time:

I will present myself honestly in all my relationships and make sure any potential date knows I love Jesus and serve Him with my whole heart.

…more on the third decision next time!

~Nancy Tart

Jaquline the Confident

September 4, 2019

Jaquline the Confident

I watched my little girl exude confidence for the first time in public.  At our gymnastics show on Mother’s Day, my Jaquline performed her practiced routine with a cloud of confidence I’ve never seen in her before.  She LOVES gymnastics.  She feels beautiful and strong doing her routines.  She stood up on the mat and told everyone she wants to be an Olympic Gymnast. 

Wow. 

So much for “maybe they’ll have fun” – my thoughts when I was blessed to get them into classes. 

For my family, discovering the sport of gymnastics has improved and amazed us.  In brief, I answered an ad which I thought was part-time clerk help at a gymnastics facility; nope, was a coaching job and I am so totally in amazement that I get to work a dream job in a sport I always wanted to do but my family was unable to afford.  From there, my girls (less Christina, who laughed and said “CAP is enough for me.” – oh, but  she’s now a coach) joined classes.  Kimberly came with strength and pushes to work her way up to the amazing skills she watches the team girls do.  Becky and Jaquline had no interest in fitness before gymnastics but now are working out with determination.  Jillian and Lucas have fun.

Jaquline’s new semester includes her gymnastics classes, reading everything she loves (She graduated up from the Magic Treehouse books to A Little Princess, The Secret Garden, and The Princess and the Swans the last couple of months!), practicing gymnastics outside (no jumps or flips – that’s mom’s rule, but I watch her do her floor routine from the show over and over and over…), learning nutrition (what builds muscle?  I need x grams of protein before workout), and playing word games with her super increasing vocabulary!  Louis says he’ll glance at the table after breakfast and everyone is sitting around doing work except Jaquline.  He’ll go looking and she’s curled up in her bed with some fat book in front of her so he leaves her until she comes out.  She’s sometimes not wanting to do regular schoolwork (it seems every child goes through at least one “I don’t want to do school” phase), but we aren’t worried because right now is a nutrition, fitness, grammar, literature, and vocabulary focus semester.  A few more books in that level and she’ll either be scanning the library for more like them or moving up a notch! (And she thinks she’s “not doing schoolwork” by reading unabridged classics!)

Sometimes we all need a “break” from the ordinary (yes, mom and dad still ask, “did you finish your math, history, and science?”) and our focus shifts to what we find fun.  Jaquline is doing math she doesn’t realize while planning her savings goals.  She’s stepping into real history and culture with “Little Women” and “A Little Princess” (1860 – 1880 United States and 1800s English Empire, respectively).  She’s learning science by watching Becky and Kimberly’s experiments, reading her nutrition books.  She’s doing practical learning by watching how Dad prepares food and analyzing the nutrition in her meals (plus, math and science here too). 

Although her semester finds her trying to be stubborn and “skip regular lessons” this time around, we know she’s still learning.  God is working on her heart now too – “Heidi” is a story of forgiveness, redemption, and return to reliance on God. (Just one example… I LOVE the unabridged versions of classics.)

Don’t be discouraged, parents!  Even if they are “refusing” to learn, they are learning anyway!  Find something they love that is natural learning and encourage that!  They’ve got plenty more years to get “lessons” on track… build relationship and understanding. 

This doesn’t mean we as parents aren’t constantly reminding her to “finish her math” or whatever lessons, it’s just that we don’t fight over it!  Life has taught us that she will come back to “formal lessons” soon.  We had a teen freak and slam forward in her algebra once her sister below her was “catching up” – Jaquline did the same last year when Jillian “graduated” into the same math book Jaquline was using.  Our philosophy is never to alter one person’s progress because of another’s lack; instead we encourage self-growth.  Thankfully, human nature among our children includes a fierce competitive spirit!  They will learn.  They will grow.  Sometimes, though, a sidetrack on a different path is needed.  (Don’t you ever feel that way as an adult? – I do!)

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Kimberly and her Birthday Twin

August 30, 2019

Kimberly and her Birthday Twin

Louis & I decided to join the church we have been attending.  After attending a newcomers class, we brought home our study books and Kimberly looked over it.  (Our purpose was to let Christina and Becky look over it.  I wasn’t expecting Kimberly just yet.)  Kimberly has been using the month-long study guides our church publishes for about four months as Bible study & cursive writing practice. 

“I want to be baptized.” Kimberly announces. 

That began some serious Socratic questioning to find out what she really understood and believed.  I mentioned that it wasn’t required just because we were joining.  Kimberly was adamant.  She said she’d been considering it a long time and wanted to show everyone she was really a Christian. 

So, my little third daughter decided to get baptized.  Our Pastor met with her, went through the same questions (He likes to make sure the young person understands what they are doing), and allowed she could be baptized.  I was so buried that I didn’t realize she’d been able to meet up and get the okay until Saturday! 

My word, though, the emotions that flooded my heart, realizing this was real to Kimberly.  She’s been delving into a lot of deep questions over the last few months with me.  Then to hear your child explain to you what Jesus means to them – I love to hear their words straight from their heart.  Kimberly is a young woman.  I call them “women-in-training” at this point. 

If you are a mom, imagine the moment you look into your newborn’s eyes for the first time.  That adrenaline rush and flood of emotions is what courses through me when I see my child publicly announce their faith.  I can’t help but feel like I’m soaring, looking at a future where she is connected to God through her own personal faith; I pray Kimberly allows herself to listen and trust the voice of God.  I pray for strength to grow in the one relationship that will never fail her.  I try, but it’s hard to put those maternal feelings into words because I can say I am excited, proud, blessed, etc., but that doesn’t capture the rapture of my soul at that moment. 

My little girl chose Jesus.  My young woman is choosing to begin a life-long relationship with Jesus based on her own journey of discovery. 

That is my longstanding prayer for each of my children and those I love; that they come to know a true relationship with the one who created them and loved them since before I knew they existed. 

We get home, have our “technology-free” family day, and I open my Facebook to see if my mom or sisters sent a message – to find that my oldest niece got baptized on the same day! 

“Guys,” (no shame, I’m so happy I’m crying again – all three teen/preteens look at me like I’m odd) “guess who got baptized today too!”

Christina – “if you say Livy…”

Kimberly – “Seriously?  Who do I share a birthday with!”

“Yes, Livy!” And I show them their uncle’s post.  Kimberly is jumping with excitement now.  “We are sisters in blood and sisters in faith!  We are birthday twins!” (They don’t call each other “cousins” but instead “sister-cousins” or “brother-cousins” and sometimes just “sister” or “brother.”  Lucas always calls Liam, Isaac, and JJ his “brothers.”)

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Study & Playtime

August 8, 2019

Study and Playtime

Your bed.

A place of rest.  Calm.  Peace.

Unless you are a mom! 

I got the baby all ready, got myself all ready, even get Lucas ready for his bed!  Lay down and *boom* here come the troops!

Lucas does an aerial front flip onto the bed, continuing into two connected forward rolls. (I almost die each time he does that!)

“What are you doing?  This isn’t the gym?”

“Going to bed with you.”  Nice.

As I start getting him settled (someone must have shared a red skittle with him, as the equation for crazy energy = red food dye + sugar + Lucas), Christina comes in with her new laptop.  “Mom, I need help setting up.”

So this is my bed & it’s 2300:

I’m trying to sleep, need to be up at 0545 to get Thea ready, me ready, walk dogs, and beat the bits of traffic; 0615 if I don’t care about eating breakfast or packing lunch.

I smile and remember – they won’t be little long.  Soon Christina will be 16, how much longer will she even ask for my help? Lucas is 4, when will he suddenly stop coming in to snuggle?  Thea is 5 months, but I can remember Christina being that little and it seems like yesterday. I take a picture as Christina gasps, “Thea! Computers are not for eating!”

Yummy! Thea tastes Christina’s brand new laptop

No, they won’t be little long.  I choose to cherish every moment… even the late night Mom’s bed gatherings.

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Frogger

Memories associated with one simple game…

August 6, 2019

Frogger!

Christina is jumping up and down with excitement in front of my bedroom door as Louis, Thea, and I are laying on top of the bed after church and lunch.  On Sunday, we usually talk about stuff and share a bit about each others’ week while he powernaps (how can he do that with his eyes open?) and I feed Thea.

“The Flea Market is open until 4!” Christina announces.  She’s been wanting to go for a few weeks now, yet we’ve always been too busy & yesterday we built the middle girls their new bed.

So we get to the Flea Market and she zooms to the one spot we always get our games from (always… I haven’t been there in over 2 years).  This guy has been in business for over 14 years – sold Becky her second PS1 and our current PS2.  Christina has been slowly building a game system & game disc collection of her own.  Today both Christina and Becky pull out their debit cards.  (This feels weird, as my teens are buying stuff with their own debit cards with their own money!) 

I’m a bit proud, a bit sad. 

Proud because Christina is managing college, CAP (2nd Lieutenant now), homeschool, work, and friends mostly on her own and doing a good job at it  Proud because Becky raises sweet, lovable Guinea Pigs (Kimberly and Jillian are also partners in this venture), juggles college classes, gymnastics, and her interests well. 

Sad because this additional sign of independence just shows me how quickly they are growing.

Usually Sunday is a no-tech day, but since we spent yesterday building the bed and deep cleaning, we allowed video games today. 

That’s how we got home, have all 7 children on the couch watching Christina and Becky “test” the two Lego Star Wars PS2 discs, enjoying the four slushies Becky bought while I got gas.  Sharing treats, laughing at the games, and enjoying each other’s company – I love this!

Then out comes Christina’s reason for going in the first place… she displays the original PS1 frogger game with a flourish and jumps up and down.  “Remember this game, Becky?” And they laugh. 

It’s the first game they remember Uncle Buddy playing with them when he brought in their first PS1.  They played that one as a 4-player for years (with the special “L” shaped extra Christina didn’t find this trip).  They played that with Aunt Mary and Aunt Stacy at the little house behind the Winn Dixie. 

Christina says, “Mom, the memories attached to this game are priceless!”

I smiled.  So true.  I remember playing this with my brothers and sisters (the only 4-player at the time) and the crazy laughter that happened with “bees bees all sorts of bees” and “racing cars” and “the hippos and crocs” and all the other fun nicknames for the levels we had. 

I’m watching now as they do another popular big family thing with fast games – pass the controller around after each “death” – taking turns and laughing…

Oh, now they’ve changed frogger’s name to “Gerald” – and keep lauging… “Off the rock, Gerald!”  “Not there, Gerald!” (occasionally tossing in other lines from Finding Dory too… my crazy, fun, family!)

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Easter Cuteness

April 30, 2019

Easter Cuteness

Easter Sunday was so much fun for us this year!

Not only did our little Thea officially turn two months old on Easter, but neither Louis nor I was working, neither of us was tired, and we had the whole weekend to ourselves!

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Baby Thea dressed up (minus her cute socks and shoes) in her Easter dress from Aunt Becca & sister-cousin Anastasia!

Louis and the girls dyed eggs – our brown and pink eggs made some unique color experiments and tasty “angel eggs.” (Grandma Joanne started that; she redeemed the deviled eggs so they are “angel eggs” now.)

Louis was waking me up almost every night in the week before Easter as he excitedly told me about the newest item he got for the girls’ baskets – crazy plastic grass, cool candy, a bag of change for the plastic eggs and such.

We love family time!  On Easter, we got up early, went to church, and talked all about the first Easter Sunday and Jaquline decided we had to watch a Jesus story movie – “The Greatest Story Ever Told” is the go-to for us.  About lunchtime, we snacked on angel eggs and fruit while Louis crafted an amazing ham – this would be early dinner.

And… Egg hunt.  The girls learned that Spring Egg Hunts were a result of people letting their hens and ducks out to range in the spring grass and then having to find their eggs for food – young children were tasked for this job and finding the eggs meant the end of winter harshness and the beginning of spring’s bounty.

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But for us, Easter Egg Hunt means “see who can hide it best” (for the hiders, adults and teens) and “see who can find the hardest eggs” (for the younger ones).  Kimberly decided she is still a youngling for Easter and joined the hunt as a hunter!

Becky took some pictures.

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Christina’s hardest eggs were teal, Becky’s were green, and I hid the hard-boiled ones.  Mine I wanted found quickly, so most were just rolled in the patches of clover so their stickers showed.

Down to four remaining eggs… One Teal, one Green, and two Boiled!  Mom ended up winning with the “hardest” egg being inches from the walkway in plain sight!

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Becky made up some adorable pictures with the baskets.  Check this link to see her Guinea Pigs in the Easter Basket pictures!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

She Flew!

March 30, 2019

She Flew!

I’m just coming in from work.  Thea’s diaper bag and my purse is on my left shoulder, Thea in her carseat is in my hands, and my shoes and phone on top of her blanket.

I maneuver through the gate as Jillian opens it and tell the dogs to back up.  They go about their normal business of sniffing everywhere on Thea’s blanket and clothes where my office dogs left a trace of an odor while I try to shoo them away and Thea giggles.

Lucas and Jaquline start telling me excitedly about their day – it seems Lucas wrote ones and twos today with Daddy.  Jaquline fixed her bicycle by herself.  Jillian rushes the dirty diapers to the laundry.  I ask about Becky; she’s “hiding” in the playroom making doll movies.  Kimberly is bouncing around like she borrowed Tigger’s bottoms.

The sweet chaos of returning home is silenced by Louis’ one sentence from the kitchen.  I smell yumminess.

“She’s in the air now.”

“What?” Time stopped.  The air didn’t smell like anything.  Silence as I puzzled out that meaning.  Louis is grinning.  Fresh rolls get pulled out of the oven – or was it one long French loaf?  I can’t recall.

“Who’s in the air?” I ask.

“Well,” Louis smiles, “Christina’s major called and they went up today.”

Oh. My. Goodness.  Great gravy train and gollywompers!  My 15 year old is in a Cessna!

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This tiny thing. Seriously. (Yes, I always wanted to fly one too!)

Actually, there were two cadets who went flying.  They went from Saint Augustine to Jacksonville and back.  It was just an O-flight, and they each only got to fly for a few minutes, but still… she’s dreamed of this for years!

Christina came home so re-energized to dive into physics, more math, and an enthusiasm to continue toward her goal of pilot because, “I never wanted to come down!  That thrill was so amazing!”

I haven’t even been in a plane yet ~ likely, Christina will be my pilot the first time!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Movie Thoughts: Knowing

March 28, 2019

Movie Thoughts: Knowing

The other night we had a movie night.  This had to be something mostly family friendly because everyone was awake.  Yes, even Thea was awake, but I’m sure she wasn’t paying attention to the movie just yet.

See, maybe because I’m old, or a morning person, or was exhausted from the work week, or… I’ll figure out an excuse later… short of it is, I go to sleep early.  Okay, earlier than my teens… okay, even earlier than my almost-teen.  My husband works late.  He is a night-owl.  So they usually watch anything that has too much blood, bad words, or unsafe-for-little-people-stuff after I’m asleep.

SO… queue the air-popped popcorn with yummy butter and salt, some fresh-cut potato French Fries and Sweet Potato Fries, and lemonade… the movie was on.

We watched Nicholas Cage in “Knowing.”

Louis said it was a horror film.  (I asked if he had lost his marbles… I wanted the little ones to sleep in their beds!)   Honestly, I think this designation was to entice the teens to watch it with us.

Oh my goodness.  What a strange, twisting, amazing movie.

**SPOILER ALERT**

If you want to watch the movie without knowing all the twists, stop reading now and go borrow it from the library.  Seriously, this is worth the watch.  We will likely watch it again.

The story acts like a psychological thriller.  Strange dark-cloaked “apparitions” aka “ghosts” aka “spirits” appear and disappear through the 50 years of time reflected in the film.  “Whispers,” as the affected children call the voices in their heads, keep relaying numerical information and give visions to the children after the dark-cloaked strangers give them an otherworldly rock.

Dad (Nicholas Cage) is a grieving widower astrophysicist pastor’s son who has turned his on faith and believes, as he tells his students, that the universe is a collection of haphazard mistakes and there is nothing but chaos.  He drowns his hopeless unbelief in a variety of alcoholic beverages to self-medicate his depression.

The son is hard of hearing (wears a hearing aid) and deeply misses his mother and the happiness that lived in his home before her death.  He happens to be given a message from the first child (written 50 years ago and locked in a time capsule at her/his school) that is a sheet of apparently random numbers.

But the numbers aren’t random.  They are the date (in short form) of a catastrophe and the number of people who died from it… and the “unknown” digits following (which if you have been listening to a Civil Air Patrol Chief talking about orienteering and navigation by GPS, you see that these same length “unknown” numbers are latitude and longitude).

What clenches it for Dad is when he finds the date of his wife’s death (a fire that claimed many) as one of the catastrophes in this list.  He realizes this message is personally meant for his family.  Now he launches into investigation to find out who wrote the message, where she is, why she wrote it, and to find the connection to his family.

Symbolism begins to appear here as the audience starts figuring out the story.  The first hint for me was the fire vision with the animals fleeing but nowhere to go.  (Destroy the Earth by fire.)  The dark-cloaked strangers have shielded eyes but bright faces.  (How would you hide glory unless shielded by darkness yet there’s still light in their faces?)  This is revealed at the very end with the darkness falling away and now they are bright, amazing beings.  (And the viewer whispers, “every time a person sees an angel, they have to say “fear not,” no wonder!”)

When “EE” is revealed to be “Everyone Else” the title is explained.  Now, they know.

At the end sequence, notice the “Pearly Gates,” “streets of gold,” “white linen garments,” and other symbolism played out – how they make it come to life is pure amazement.  Everything is explained in such a unique way.

This movie is rated PG (likely for the alcohol and “disturbing images”).  It’s actually very well put together.  The storyline seems fractured but falls into place and you wonder how you missed it.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

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