Category: Family Stories

Evaluations

January 29, 2021

Evaluations

This week and next week are skills testing weeks at gym. Evaluations of skills each gymnast has and their ability to move up or stay in their current level to solidify their knowledge.

Most of the time, the coaches catch when their student gymnast gets enough skills and strength or knowledge to move up, but sometimes it takes a “skills test” for a gymnast to show off or put a little more power into her actions!

This made me think about life.

Life is full of levels.

Sometimes we just move through them seamlessly. You know, like gliding from toddlerhood to preschool, or moving from 9th to 10th grade. High school to college is a little more of a push – this is like an evaluation. Are you ready? Well, time is here – which choice do you make?

In our personal growth, we tend to move slowly. It’s when a climatic event causes us to evaluate ourselves that we discover strengths we didn’t know we had or weaknesses we thought we didn’t have. Your eldest child going to college and you are tossed into the whirlwind of various choices, plans, financial issues, helping your young adult navigate stress (praying you can do that well, because she is expressing what you are internalizing!), and believing that a way will be made.

This time you have to view as a positive change. You have to realize that this temporary negative appearance will prove to be the lifetime starting point for your young adult. Your attitude through this is your “evaluation,” your young adult will be taking notes on and remembering. (Everyone else in your household is also watching!)

Sometimes a life “evaluation” is others watching how you navigate troubled waters. Like the death of your father, your sister, your close friend, your child. Losing someone you treasure. That despair can allow you to create a pit to lose yourself in. Or you can look up and pull on the strength that only comes from Jesus. This evaluation is never something we want to face.

Evaluation week went along with my study: Examine yourself to see what is good and right; remove that which leads toward darkness.

(My paraphrase again, I summarized the page-long study to that line. Most of the verses linked all boiled down to that same line as my brain interpreted them.) I imagine darkness to be the depth of one’s soul without Jesus. Since Jesus is Light and darkness is the absence of light, that makes the most sense to me.

See, when trouble hits, I can either turn inside myself and go into darkness or look outside and reach up to Jesus. In Him there is strength to endure everything.

Life has taught me that.

My “evaluations” have proven it.

I pray I always choose to reach up. I want those watching me during “skills testing” to be led to Jesus. That is my goal.

Crazy writer’s brain that sees the little flyer on our desk that reads “skills testing weeks” and launches into deep thoughts… hopefully these wandering thoughts help lift you up!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

Judgments

What do you instantly presume based on a look? This cup, for example:

January 7, 2021

Judgments

It starts with this cup:

Judgement – instantly you either love or hate me, but you also immediately assume I spent $3 to $5 on the “coffee” I’m drinking.

Actually, I’ve never bought Starbucks. This cup? Well, I’m love my meal shake “cafe latte” hot and I’m a mom so that means 10x trips to the microwave… this cup’s predecessor two years ago was green and white and was perfect for the serving size and microwavable!! I hate waste. That green and white cup was destined for the trash… I saved it, sanitized it, and used it for almost 14 months. This cup was also someone else’s discarded trash.

Now, knowing that, you are either grossed out that I take trash, wash it, and claim it, saying “better you than me,” or you are applauding my penny-pinching way of getting exactly what I want and saving the landfill at the same time.

Isn’t it crazy how we judge?

Someone in the food bank line driving a really sweet immaculate older model Jaguar wearing a tailored suit jacket, $400 eyeglass frames, and a Rolex. You can choose to judge, “what is he here for?” or “he could sell the car (watch, frames, jacket) for money,” or whatever thought because you feel he shouldn’t be there.

Step in his shoes. Did you know he’s a former businessman whose life savings went into a dream business in fall of 2019 – just a small operation that employed 27 people. His jacket? It’s the same one he wore to his retirement party years ago. He has sold all the others. His eyeglass frames? Those were his late wife’s. He gets his prescription put in them for sentimental reasons. His Rolex look-alike? Inscribed with “to my love; come home safe; Christmas 1969” he received it in the spring of 1970 in Vietnam. His car? He takes care of it and cleans it himself – he’s had it for 22 years. The dealership won’t even give him $500 for it without locking him into a new loan he can’t afford; it is a cheap used car. He chooses to keep his employees at work but is falling deeper and deeper in debt so yes, he stretches his food budget with the weekly box from the food bank.

Have you ever read “To Kill a Mockingbird?” That book is an excellent tool for teaching you how to always treat everyone with kindness and consideration. Atticus teaches his children, and the reader, how not to make hasty judgments. Jem actually judges people and in his thoughts and conversations with Scout, he professes what Scout is thinking; they learn how their quick surface judgments are most often wrong.

Since I’ve read that book as a youngster, I decided to leave the judging to God. I strive to treat everyone with kindness. I strive to kick the judgmental thoughts from my mind before they affect my heart or bleed into my words.

Another great book for that end is “The Shack.”

In both instances I referenced, the book is far more poignant than the film, but the films do a decent job of getting the point across.

Treat others with kindness. Leave the judging to God. He alone knows the heart. Can our sour swift judgments harm? Yes. If we are to be the feet and hands of Jesus, we also need to speak his words to others and in our own hearts. When we allow own hearts to be poisoned by our own sour thoughts we allow ourselves to make hasty judgments, in turn we make poor decisions and usually harm others. We are putting a stumbling block in front of them! This is not how we are supposed to love.

As parents, we also need to avoid making hasty judgments about our children. We may know their hearts, sure. But what good can come of judging without listening? Always ask. Always talk. Always be available for them to speak to you. Your children do know your heart based on what you have shown them during their life – they need you to be a safe place for them to express feelings and emotions and speak troubles. This needs to start from the beginning and continue even when it is hard.

My father was always open where I could talk about anything with him. He guided me through dating and the first few weeks of engagement, he encouraged me to search for character traits, gave me logical wisdom as I relayed scenarios and answers, and offered questions for me to ask that led my fiancé and I into deep discussions where we discovered each other’s hearts. We came to understand our religious, political, family, and deep convictions through soul-baring conversation and intimately know each other.

I am forever thankful for the few months of guidance that led me to understand my future husband. I wanted to be someone my children could come talk to without fear, like my father had. I hope my children always understand that my love for them will never change. I will try to guide them. I will listen. I always try to listen first. I have a fix-it mentality though, which makes it a struggle to just listen when I care about someone and want to help them.

I have to learn, still, that people don’t always want help. They want ears to listen to their heart.

This is treating others with kindness.

Avoiding preconceived judgments (back to my iconic cup).

Listening without judging.

Praying before speaking.

Hearing without repeating (aka no gossiping).

Loving as Christ does.

If I am to be His hands and feet, I need to be his ears and mouth as well. I need to leave judging to God.

(Hope this encourages you as much as writing it encouraged me.)

~Type at you later.

~Nancy Tart

God! Help!

January 5, 2021

God! Help!

This blog is for those moms, big sisters, teachers, coaches, etc. who have ever raised their hands up in the sky and demanded with tears streaming down their eyes, “God! Help!”

If you’ve never done that, please leave the rest of us in our private knowledge of complete crazy… nothing to see or read here… Thank you.

Now that I’m addressing those of you, who like me, know that they only get through life with God’s routine and very often injections of aid: understand that you are really, really not alone!

There are way more of us out here than you know.

But people don’t always see that. Still. That doesn’t mean we don’t completely loose it and at least internally… SCREAM for HELP!

Ever had a friend compliment you by saying, “wow, you were so calm.”

Your mind goes, “um.. what????” And you realize that only God saw your frantic desperate prayers as you grabbed napkins, wiped up your child’s blood trying not to freak out at her big sister’s just-started party while on your way to meet said child in the bathroom with unknown injury as you realize another daughter is already cleaning more blood (MORE BLOOD?? God, let me not scare her, make me calm.) on a gym mat. You realize that the frantic prayers were interpreted as deep breaths – thank you Jesus for oxygen and working lungs! Said child cries and you are thinking, “God, this injury is serious, help me!” but when you clean it and she whines, “I don’t want to go home! I want to play with my friends!”

Then there’s the serious prayer as you fight the urge of laughter-that-borders-on-insanity, “God, give me patience with this child!”

Bloody head wound clean. Check.

Bleeding stopped. Crisis averted. Check.

10,000+ frantic “God, you better help me” prayers in the span of 45 seconds while dealing with said child who doesn’t see that this is an INJURY and wants to GET BACK UP AND START FLIPPING! Double check.

Super glue, band-aid, and the older kids are like, “do we need to go?” Decision time. (This was supposed to be a food party & dinner & home is 45 minutes away plus party will be over & have to pick up actual party-goer in about 2 hours.) Stay.

Instant heart attack what feels like 5 seconds later when said injured child is about to show off her routine on bars – “DO YOU WANT TO LIVE TO ADULTHOOD??” (No, I didn’t scream that.)

But. I WANTED TO!! Instead it was “GOD HELP ME!” in my frantic brain while I think I may have jumped the knee wall to grab said child and firmly direct her back to my table in a solid seat (DID YOU REALLY JUST LEAN THAT FOLDING CHAIR ON TWO LEGS!!!???) beside me to watch her. Calm. Breathe. “GOD! HELP ME!” (Of course, that was a mental scream again.)

End the frantic night. (Thank you, Jesus!)

I’m laying in bed, praying that her head heals well and there’s no infection. Reading Proverbs for whatever chapter the day was (you know, when you can’t think of anything but Proverbs has a chapter for every day in the month?), I came across timeless wisdom that basically said (my brain translated the words to the following, it is NOT a direct quote:), “give everything to God and know that you aren’t perfect without Him.”

Truth.

Give over my worries. Give over my fears. In. Real. Time.

If I just write it on paper (or type it in a blog), that’s just words. What shows that I do trust God is in real time. When my toddlers decides to tilt her head back and scream bloody murder with a huge smirk because I’m on the phone. (PATIENCE, PLEASE!) When my boy is annoying his sisters for the bazillionth time in one minute. (Please, God, don’t let them kill him.) When an attack comes and it feels like the life-breath from my lungs is being sucked out by a giant vacuum. (Calm. Breathe. God. Help. Me.)

This is trusting in real time.

This is choosing to know that I cannot do anything without Jesus.

This is knowing that with Jesus I ca do all things. I can breathe. I can parent. I can mother. I can coach. I can love. Without Him, I can’t do any of those things.

So, yes, I know I’m imperfect. (I’m FAR from perfect!)

But…

I trust in the perfect one. I ask Him for help daily (um… thousands of times a day, in every situation I get stuck in!) and He answers with comfort, ideas, calm, and love.

Take a breath. Breathe in Jesus, breathe out, breathe in love, breathe out; now face your challenge! (As I hear a squeal from the kitchen followed by a crash… doesn’t sound like anything broke… “MOM!”) God, they are your children; HELP ME! I need to parent them to lead them to You, show me how.

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

P.S.: Those who were there, yes, I was freaking out inside. Yes, she is okay and nothing left to point at proudly and say “look what happened to me!”

New Year at Gym!

January 3, 2021

New Year At Gym!

Welcome to 2021!!

This is how WGV Gymnastics is welcoming in 2021 our first week of classes! We start back with Recreational Gymnastics Monday, January 4, 2021 and the happy decorations and big smiles help us launch in the New Year!

Come join us!

Check out our website for beginner gymnastics (ages 5 to 17), tumbling (ages 5 to 17), boy’s gymnastics (ages 5 to 17), preschool gymnastics (ages 3 to 5), Parent and Tot (just walking to 3), open gyms, skill clinics, our Gym-N-Learn Preschool Program (potty trained through 5 years), and more!

We offer day camps, summer camp, winter camp (we just finished up 2020’s winter camp), birthday parties, afterschool pickup, our pro shop, private lessons, preteam, competitive team…

Oh, can’t forget the monthly gym parties! We call them “Parent’s Night Out” but the kids call them “Gym Parties” – mark your calendar for every third Saturday in 2021! Tickets for those are already on sale at eventbrite or through the gym’s facebook page.

We are all super excited about our wonderful new year and what amazing things the gym will offer! Our goal is to “provide love and encouragement while inspiring kids to develop self-esteem and confidence through gymnastics.” We have a lot of fun fulfilling that goal!

See you at WGV Gymnastics in 2021! (Oh my, we open tomorrow! Register online for a free trial class!)

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Let Thea Do It!

January 1, 2021

Let Thea Do It!

My almost 2 year old thinks she’s a gymnast and the gym is her second home. She thinks she’s a member of Civil Air Patrol like Christina and Kimberly. She thinks she can ride Lucas’ bike. She thinks she can build shelves like Mom. She also thinks she can hide from everyone in plain sight.

She thinks she can fly. (From any object straight into a big sister’s arms without warning!)

She’s been going to WGV Gymnastics attending the Parent and Tot classes (yes, we have classes for those just walking to 3 years old) for a few months and Lucas (big brother) has been doing the Preschool Program for a few months.

Kimberly is in competitive team and set up a workout area on the wall marked with degrees (set up with sticks, a protractor, and a pencil) and was like “I need to go from here to here.”

“I can do that!” Says Lucas.

Bingo.

“Let Thea do it!” Thea says.

Bingo.

Kimberly tosses her hands in the air playfully, “I give up!”

We laughed and asked, “Why?”

“My baby brother has a bigger split than I do!” Kimberly laughed, “actually,” she tries it, “maybe not.”

We all laugh because the littles are so enthusiastic about everything. They love anything and everything big siblings or friends are doing. Thea consistently tries to do everything her big brother and big sisters do. She walked into the front room last night and turned on the game computer, “play a game with Becky!” and the mouse pointer went straight to the correct icon for Becky’s game.

Thea loves to do it! Thea loves to do everything!

“Mom!” (I’m washing dishes, Thea is dragging the stool over to the sink…) “Thea can wash dishes, please?”

How do I say no? I hope she always keeps the can-do will-try attitude she currently possesses.

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Choosing Gratitude

December 30, 2020

Choosing Gratitude

Ever feel just overwhelmingly grateful? That often happens to me as I’m contemplating life. It usually starts when I feel discouraged. Everything bad coming at me all at once or someone mentioning some past mistake that helped lead to some poor circumstance I’m in now that waterfalls into my brain assaulting me with every tumbler that went wrong or a misstep that I see instantly and try to recover from… in whatever fashion it starts, it is always a silent attack on my joy coming from my own accusing brain. No one knows I’m fighting this horrid battle inside. No one else can see the pain my heart feels. My own logical brain is my worst accuser. The devil uses the logic from my own brain to try to attack the joy God gives me as His daughter. I have to renew my own mind. I have one plan of attack that always beats the accusing voices down and tramples them into silence:

I start with thanking God for life…

my family members by name…

the time I had with those now gone…

friends He’s placed in my life… time I get to spend with them…

the awesome job He’s provided me…

my coworkers… my boss… my students…

the opportunities my children have… achievements I’ve seen each of them reach… dreams I watch them work so hard to make happen…

There is just so much to be grateful for!

I like to shift my thoughts when I’m feeling discouraged because I always know it is not real. The reality is not in my circumstances, but in the attitude I have during those circumstances. Life is not about what happens to you; it is about how you react to the circumstances presented to you.

Sometimes you own thoughts can focus on troubling things and make you feel discouraged, kick those thoughts out! Start with thanking God for something… the sky, sunrise, oxygen, a rainbow, your sweet doggie, a memory that makes you smile… start there and just see how having an attitude of gratitude will help you see life in a positive light!

Hope this helps!

Type at you next time!

~Nancy Tart

Building Buddies

December 28, 2020

Building Buddies

When we think of toddler, stuffing every unknown object into their mouth is standard, right?

I had two where the answer was shockingly “NO!”

They both loved all things small – squinkies, legos, and polly pockets.

The thing I like about small items is that they are easily portable! A small pencil box could hold an army of squinkies, a city of legos, or a family of polly pockets.

You can’t exactly take giant mega blocks everywhere! Well, maybe one or two blocks, but really… tiny is better for portable applications. I love tiny toys to keep littles entertained when on the go. For most of the kids though, tiny toys were not an option until the everything-in-the-mouth stage was finished. I love starting off with tiny toys!

We have been building large mega block forts with the same blocks for over 16 years! From Christina under 1 to Thea now at almost 2… I shake my head at that – yikes! That’s too many years of building forts and garages and houses with mega blocks! (Maybe that’s because mom doesn’t want to admit to that many years of kid toys!)

The building buddies right now are Lucas and Thea. Lucas gets very creative with the big blocks and super detailed with the tiny legos. He’s made Becky even get interested in coming back in because he occasionally gets a sorting bug and sorts their collection! When sorting happens, Becky is like, “yippee!” or comes to show Lucas how to best sort them. She had taught him well.

Thea is not so big on sorting small things into smaller groups – but one type of toy always must go in its correct bin. Grandma gave her a collection of squinkies for Christmas. Those stay in one bin along with their little eggs. Her gravity propelled horses that walk down tracks are in another bin, teething toys (sadly, very few of those left) in one bin, socks take up one of the toy bins (Thea’s idea, not Mom’s), and other small collections in the small bins. Thea keeps a baggie of legos and a few assorted squinkies in her back-pack. (This was another gift from Grandma this year and she carries it literally everywhere now.)

What I love to see is the building buddies when two or more of them are sitting in the little ones’ room surrounded by legos and building their respective creations on boards or the tops of the containers, in a “giant land” as Lucas calls it. (I guess city isn’t big enough.) Becky, Lucas, and Thea, or Kimberly, Jillian, and Thea, or Jaquline, Jillian, and Lucas… all with their own bits in their tiny toy world.

And, yes, Mom ends up in there often too, building some castle-hidden-in-rocks or house-hidden-in-trees on request. I load mine with secret tunnels or passageways, treasure, tiny details, and stories! I love building models of some story land my characters are in and acting scenes out with Lucas and Thea. They always come up with neat ideas that I’m forgetting.

Building buddies are the best! Taking time to encourage the creativity and imagination of little ones is a wonderful thing to be a part of.

This Christmas as I was building some huge lego tree with robin hood and castle pieces (who can remember those cool sets?) with Thea and Lucas, I remembered being about three and building the gray castle in the basement/garage in Cherry Hill with my Daddy. The black castle followed when I was four along with Robin Hood’s hideout (Daddy called it that, not sure what the name is that goes along with the set, but I know the number!) – classic sets I can actually print out instructions for from the lego website now! He took the time to build with me (and boost my ego… I was very proud of building a set that had an age on it higher than my current age.) and full circle, I’m taking time to build with mine.

Maybe I haven’t ben fishing with my kids as often as my brothers and I went fishing, but I’ve been building with them! So maybe we are “Building Buddies” instead of “Fishing Buddies” – and in my crazy brain I see five Golden Retriever pups building forts with mega blocks!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

(P.S.: for those wondering… my computer has been down since just before Thanksgiving so I’m a little behind on by release of Devonians #6, but thanks to an awesome gift from a friend – old laptop too old for games but perfect for writing! – it is now just waiting on a cover!)

Keep Flying High!

November 28, 2020

Keep Flying High!

Remember how we did a tour at Embry-Riddle University back in January? Christina told the tour guide that she was going there. She’s spent years dreaming of it. She’s focused all of her college classes at St Johns River College toward the basic degree requirements at Embry-Riddle. Her entire track since her freshman courses of Algebra has led toward her goal of Aeronautical Science with Flight. She wants to fly. She wants to go to what (according to her) is the best university for flight careers.

Well…

Today, I was taking stuff to the sink, and said, “Hey, there’s a box outside the gate that says Guess What? want to go get it?”

Christina screams “WHAATTT?” and jumps outside to grab it. I first thought oh, they ordered some Christmas present from Guess. But as I leaned out and yelled through the screen, “grab the rest of the mail while you’re out there, please?” I noticed the colors. Blue and Gold. Embry.

Christina had been finishing her application months ago, worried that we moved during her application process, worried that the address on her Transcript didn’t match the new address for mail, worried that her scores (really?) didn’t make it, worried that they were going to restrict the number of students and it wouldn’t be her. I just told her then, God will take care of it.

“No mom, let me check inside first! It might be a no.”

I wanted to take a picture – she was like, “no, let me check it first! It might be a no.” They send a box that says “you did it” on the side for nos? But I didn’t say that. My phone is not a great camera, but I got a couple pictures. Everyone who was home gathered around and squealed, playing with the confetti popper and hugging their excited big sister. I sent one picture to all the grandparents, aunts, and uncles. “She got accepted!”

She’s still sitting here, going through the box, shaking and grinning. In 9 months, my oldest baby is going to be taking classes at her dream university. Education goal #1, check!

I am so excited for Christina!

All I want is for each of my children is for them to set and accomplish the goals they strive for. I want them to reach for their dreams: flying, drawing, orthodontist, marine biologist, veterinary medicine, collegiate gymnast, avian vet, or whatever the future holds. I want it to be their dream. I want to guide and help them as much as possible, but it has to be their dream. You will only succeed when it is your passion and desire.

I’m so excited for her! I’m excited to be a part of her success. I’m excited to see her work so hard toward one goal and accomplish it! This is what I love to see!

Congratulations, Christina! I know this is just the start for you!

Do what you love. Work hard for what you want. You will accomplish what you dream!

(Oh yes, and enjoy the confetti mess because, according to Jillian, that is the fun part of big sister getting accepted!)

  • Can’t really see the blue and gold bits of paper
  • Jillian says “the confetti is the fun part”

Thank you for reading!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Rejoice 2020 – Becky

November 18, 2020

Rejoice 2020 – Becky

Towards the end of the year, I always begin to reflect on the changes that have occurred in the year. Overall, they end up being positive – and those are my highlights. As it is close to Thanksgiving, I thought I’d brag a bit as I ponder on the changes I’ve seen in Becky this year.

Becky started 2020 discovering that she enjoyed the sport of gymnastics! I loved that because since I work at WGV Gymnastics, we get to drive together and she is the default DJ in our car because she picks up on the moods and knows how to use music to make everyone dance. I love spending extra time with my children!

She overcame a lot of obstacles that this unusual (if I hear the other word again – and you know which one – I will shriek!) year has thrown at her. Like our family has done, she pulled herself up, found either another way or something else, and managed to rise out with a smile!

Smile! Oh yes, one of Becky’s highlights of the year were her braces! She finally overcame a bad habit that kept her from getting braces (power of determination) and can now accurately be called “metal-mouth” until near the end of next year. She’s doing a great job of keeping them maintained and cleaned. She has been dreaming of braces and straight, beautiful teeth forever… but then, she still wants to major in orthodontics or some branch of dentistry.

Becky also managed to embark on two new ventures right as she turned fifteen:

First, she started a job. I never would have guessed that between “afternoon two shifts” and “morning three shifts” she would take “Preschool Program Coach” in the mornings. Becky is totally my night owl, so this did surprise me. She does this well.

Second – watch out world – she got her learner’s permit for driving.

And a phone. She pays for her own phone now.

I’m totally amazed and very proud of my little lady (okay, tall young lady who has been taller than me for a while) and her accomplishments this year. Becky has been working on herself. She is learning to understand herself and others around her. I see more empathy from her.

I pray for her daily as she begins to try her young adult wings in the world of “adulting” – as my teenagers call working, classes, activities, volunteering, and paying bills.

She dreams of building an aviary for her little feathered loves (parakeets now) that will allow her to add finches, lovebirds, and even more avian pets. I see that being accomplished soon because she is smashing through everything and accomplishing what she wants. Her determination is a very strong thing. Her ability to work through challenges and keep her word makes me proud. I know God has wonderful plans for her now and in her future.

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to have your beautiful daughter to raise! She is learning to lean on You and trust You in everything. She is loved so much by her family and even more by You – I pray You protect her, guard her heart, build her self-esteem, show her Your love and bring those You want guiding her into her life.

I hope this total Mom-blog piece today encourages you to find the positives and look at the accomplishments of your little blessings through this tough year. What did you see that made you smile? What challenge did your child find a creative solution too? Rejoice in the positives!

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

Sunsets and Rainbows

What I see in sunsets and rainbows!

November 13, 2020

Sunsets and Rainbows

Sometimes when you want to feel amazed, just look up. Seriously. Up at the sunrise or for me at work – the sunset. The sunsets over the intersection of interstate 95 and International Golf Parkway are amazing. It often happens with a bold artist palette of vivid colors like deep purple, bright blue, orange, yellow, pink, and red. Because this is Florida, we often have moisture in the sky (aka raindrops) that hide clear rainbows in the opposite side of the sky.

I’ve seen more double rainbows outside the doors of my gym than everywhere else combined. God’s promise of mercy.

When sunsets come, they remind me of the awesome things God has given us that all too often we brush off. It also reminds me to slow down. I have to take the time to enjoy the blessings I’ve been given rather than race through life as if being chased. I’m not being chased by anything! I’m in an amazing point of my life where I’ve stopped chasing the pipe-dream of home ownership and realized that it really doesn’t matter. I’ve been able to slow down and enjoy. I love the job I have! (stepping outside to see sunsets and rainbows is definitely a sweet bonus) I get to work around smiling, happy faces, hopefully instill confidence, positive work ethic, determination, and excitement in the hearts of the children I am honored to coach, encourage my coworkers as they encourage me, and watch my children grow in skill and confidence (and getting to see them every break is tremendous)!

I have chosen to focus on relationships. I am trying to connect with my family and friends at every opportunity. I want my children to understand the importance of relationship with encouraging believers.

I have chosen to focus on writing again (my computer that was fixed ended up with the cable to the display being pinched by the metal bracket that supports the display because it was moved when “repaired” and now the cable is shorted… so back to borrowed computers until I can repair it myself). I felt such a surge of writing energy – going from less than 5,000 words to over 22,000 in only one story in just a few off days since it was repaired? Wow, I feel like God has opened my creativity again. Despite computer issues, I will be writing!

I sold one ebook through Amazon! First sale in over a year, so that’s positive!

My boss has graciously let me put up a display of real books at her ProShop (At least 50% of sales price gets donated to the gym program!) and I am supposed to have illustrators (*clears throat*) working on drawings for my children’s books.

At this point, I’m trying to study my children, show them how I depend on Jesus, study my husband more so I can love him better, and develop or water friendships I cherish with my sisters, brothers, and friends. We’ve been able to get Becky’s braces, get Christina’s adult dental stuff started, we discovered Kimberly needed glasses & got those, and are planning to start Jillian’s and finish Lucas’ dental needs too. God is providing as we need it. Provision will come. “Give us this day our daily bread.”

Rainbows remind me of mercy.

Remember before the flood there was no rain? All the world was watered from the ground. Mists, fog, who knows, but the Bible says “the water rose up from the ground” to water the Earth. So imagine Noah and his family – they had never seen a rainbow! NEVER. This was a first for them. It was recorded as God setting His rainbow in the sky as a promise to every living thing on Earth that He would never again destroy the whole Earth by water.

That is mercy. Mercy is showing undeserved favor. Parenting teaches mercy on a whole new level.

Consider when someone is saying and doing things to cut you down constantly, hurting others you love, cutting deep into the hearts of you and those you love with their words, irritated with life but taking it out on you as if it is your fault, doing things and saying things that hurts them, etc. This irritates and saddens you. You love them still. You can’t stop loving them. You carried them and prayed for them and watched them be birthed and loved and cared for them and slowly watch them grow. You know you have to slowly release them and you hate yourself because you feel they aren’t ready but this is where you have to let go and trust God.

This is where you understand mercy. Love when you are undeserving.

You then see that is how Jesus sees you. You hurt His heart with some choices and actions or words. You hurt yourself. You hurt those He loves. You pull away when He is trying to patiently guide you yet it feels wrong or you decide to follow another. You do not deserve His love. You deserve judgement for those you have hurt. Yet Jesus showers us with mercy; new mercies each morning.

This is what rainbows show me.

My heart still hurts for the pains I feel my teens are feeling. I wish I could get them to talk openly and listen as openly. I wish I could once again kiss the hurt and it go away – but that doesn’t work anymore. They now need to allow Jesus to wrap His arms around them and comfort them. They need to allow Jesus to lead them and guide them.

I have to love them.

I also have to protect the hearts of my younger ones. Yes, sometimes from the words or actions of an older sibling. That really hurts.

I’m not going to kick them out of my house and never out of my heart; just as Jesus has not kicked me away and has loved me through all of my mistakes. I need Jesus’ mercy every day.

Rainbows remind me of this.

Thank you, Jesus, for sunsets and rainbows. Thank you that we get to see them almost daily. Thank you for love, mercy, and forgiveness. Thank you that you teach me daily in this task called parenting.

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

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