Tag: teach

Building Buddies

December 28, 2020

Building Buddies

When we think of toddler, stuffing every unknown object into their mouth is standard, right?

I had two where the answer was shockingly “NO!”

They both loved all things small – squinkies, legos, and polly pockets.

The thing I like about small items is that they are easily portable! A small pencil box could hold an army of squinkies, a city of legos, or a family of polly pockets.

You can’t exactly take giant mega blocks everywhere! Well, maybe one or two blocks, but really… tiny is better for portable applications. I love tiny toys to keep littles entertained when on the go. For most of the kids though, tiny toys were not an option until the everything-in-the-mouth stage was finished. I love starting off with tiny toys!

We have been building large mega block forts with the same blocks for over 16 years! From Christina under 1 to Thea now at almost 2… I shake my head at that – yikes! That’s too many years of building forts and garages and houses with mega blocks! (Maybe that’s because mom doesn’t want to admit to that many years of kid toys!)

The building buddies right now are Lucas and Thea. Lucas gets very creative with the big blocks and super detailed with the tiny legos. He’s made Becky even get interested in coming back in because he occasionally gets a sorting bug and sorts their collection! When sorting happens, Becky is like, “yippee!” or comes to show Lucas how to best sort them. She had taught him well.

Thea is not so big on sorting small things into smaller groups – but one type of toy always must go in its correct bin. Grandma gave her a collection of squinkies for Christmas. Those stay in one bin along with their little eggs. Her gravity propelled horses that walk down tracks are in another bin, teething toys (sadly, very few of those left) in one bin, socks take up one of the toy bins (Thea’s idea, not Mom’s), and other small collections in the small bins. Thea keeps a baggie of legos and a few assorted squinkies in her back-pack. (This was another gift from Grandma this year and she carries it literally everywhere now.)

What I love to see is the building buddies when two or more of them are sitting in the little ones’ room surrounded by legos and building their respective creations on boards or the tops of the containers, in a “giant land” as Lucas calls it. (I guess city isn’t big enough.) Becky, Lucas, and Thea, or Kimberly, Jillian, and Thea, or Jaquline, Jillian, and Lucas… all with their own bits in their tiny toy world.

And, yes, Mom ends up in there often too, building some castle-hidden-in-rocks or house-hidden-in-trees on request. I load mine with secret tunnels or passageways, treasure, tiny details, and stories! I love building models of some story land my characters are in and acting scenes out with Lucas and Thea. They always come up with neat ideas that I’m forgetting.

Building buddies are the best! Taking time to encourage the creativity and imagination of little ones is a wonderful thing to be a part of.

This Christmas as I was building some huge lego tree with robin hood and castle pieces (who can remember those cool sets?) with Thea and Lucas, I remembered being about three and building the gray castle in the basement/garage in Cherry Hill with my Daddy. The black castle followed when I was four along with Robin Hood’s hideout (Daddy called it that, not sure what the name is that goes along with the set, but I know the number!) – classic sets I can actually print out instructions for from the lego website now! He took the time to build with me (and boost my ego… I was very proud of building a set that had an age on it higher than my current age.) and full circle, I’m taking time to build with mine.

Maybe I haven’t ben fishing with my kids as often as my brothers and I went fishing, but I’ve been building with them! So maybe we are “Building Buddies” instead of “Fishing Buddies” – and in my crazy brain I see five Golden Retriever pups building forts with mega blocks!

Type at you later!

~Nancy Tart

(P.S.: for those wondering… my computer has been down since just before Thanksgiving so I’m a little behind on by release of Devonians #6, but thanks to an awesome gift from a friend – old laptop too old for games but perfect for writing! – it is now just waiting on a cover!)

Sunsets and Rainbows

What I see in sunsets and rainbows!

November 13, 2020

Sunsets and Rainbows

Sometimes when you want to feel amazed, just look up. Seriously. Up at the sunrise or for me at work – the sunset. The sunsets over the intersection of interstate 95 and International Golf Parkway are amazing. It often happens with a bold artist palette of vivid colors like deep purple, bright blue, orange, yellow, pink, and red. Because this is Florida, we often have moisture in the sky (aka raindrops) that hide clear rainbows in the opposite side of the sky.

I’ve seen more double rainbows outside the doors of my gym than everywhere else combined. God’s promise of mercy.

When sunsets come, they remind me of the awesome things God has given us that all too often we brush off. It also reminds me to slow down. I have to take the time to enjoy the blessings I’ve been given rather than race through life as if being chased. I’m not being chased by anything! I’m in an amazing point of my life where I’ve stopped chasing the pipe-dream of home ownership and realized that it really doesn’t matter. I’ve been able to slow down and enjoy. I love the job I have! (stepping outside to see sunsets and rainbows is definitely a sweet bonus) I get to work around smiling, happy faces, hopefully instill confidence, positive work ethic, determination, and excitement in the hearts of the children I am honored to coach, encourage my coworkers as they encourage me, and watch my children grow in skill and confidence (and getting to see them every break is tremendous)!

I have chosen to focus on relationships. I am trying to connect with my family and friends at every opportunity. I want my children to understand the importance of relationship with encouraging believers.

I have chosen to focus on writing again (my computer that was fixed ended up with the cable to the display being pinched by the metal bracket that supports the display because it was moved when “repaired” and now the cable is shorted… so back to borrowed computers until I can repair it myself). I felt such a surge of writing energy – going from less than 5,000 words to over 22,000 in only one story in just a few off days since it was repaired? Wow, I feel like God has opened my creativity again. Despite computer issues, I will be writing!

I sold one ebook through Amazon! First sale in over a year, so that’s positive!

My boss has graciously let me put up a display of real books at her ProShop (At least 50% of sales price gets donated to the gym program!) and I am supposed to have illustrators (*clears throat*) working on drawings for my children’s books.

At this point, I’m trying to study my children, show them how I depend on Jesus, study my husband more so I can love him better, and develop or water friendships I cherish with my sisters, brothers, and friends. We’ve been able to get Becky’s braces, get Christina’s adult dental stuff started, we discovered Kimberly needed glasses & got those, and are planning to start Jillian’s and finish Lucas’ dental needs too. God is providing as we need it. Provision will come. “Give us this day our daily bread.”

Rainbows remind me of mercy.

Remember before the flood there was no rain? All the world was watered from the ground. Mists, fog, who knows, but the Bible says “the water rose up from the ground” to water the Earth. So imagine Noah and his family – they had never seen a rainbow! NEVER. This was a first for them. It was recorded as God setting His rainbow in the sky as a promise to every living thing on Earth that He would never again destroy the whole Earth by water.

That is mercy. Mercy is showing undeserved favor. Parenting teaches mercy on a whole new level.

Consider when someone is saying and doing things to cut you down constantly, hurting others you love, cutting deep into the hearts of you and those you love with their words, irritated with life but taking it out on you as if it is your fault, doing things and saying things that hurts them, etc. This irritates and saddens you. You love them still. You can’t stop loving them. You carried them and prayed for them and watched them be birthed and loved and cared for them and slowly watch them grow. You know you have to slowly release them and you hate yourself because you feel they aren’t ready but this is where you have to let go and trust God.

This is where you understand mercy. Love when you are undeserving.

You then see that is how Jesus sees you. You hurt His heart with some choices and actions or words. You hurt yourself. You hurt those He loves. You pull away when He is trying to patiently guide you yet it feels wrong or you decide to follow another. You do not deserve His love. You deserve judgement for those you have hurt. Yet Jesus showers us with mercy; new mercies each morning.

This is what rainbows show me.

My heart still hurts for the pains I feel my teens are feeling. I wish I could get them to talk openly and listen as openly. I wish I could once again kiss the hurt and it go away – but that doesn’t work anymore. They now need to allow Jesus to wrap His arms around them and comfort them. They need to allow Jesus to lead them and guide them.

I have to love them.

I also have to protect the hearts of my younger ones. Yes, sometimes from the words or actions of an older sibling. That really hurts.

I’m not going to kick them out of my house and never out of my heart; just as Jesus has not kicked me away and has loved me through all of my mistakes. I need Jesus’ mercy every day.

Rainbows remind me of this.

Thank you, Jesus, for sunsets and rainbows. Thank you that we get to see them almost daily. Thank you for love, mercy, and forgiveness. Thank you that you teach me daily in this task called parenting.

Thank you for reading!

~Nancy Tart

Failing to Compare

July 23, 2020

Failing to Compare

Do you know what I hope I fail in? 

Seriously.  I’m super competitive by nature.  I had to teach myself that trying to “be my best” is a different thing than being better than someone else. 

I had to fail at comparing. 

What are we at, 8 billion people on the planet?  Each one of us has a unique set of circumstances, challenges, goals, cultures, and opportunities.  How can we possibly compare ourselves to each other?

Simplify: we do it in our own heads even if people don’t for us. So we have to learn not to compare in our own heads too!

Your child is acting out. 

From people who may or may not know you comes the onslaught: “that’s because you work,” “that’s because you stay home all day,” “that’s because you are too busy,” “that’s because you never go on playdates,” “that’s because you have him around too many children,” “that’s because you have him in vpk,” “that’s because you home school,” “that’s because your mom ate Wendy’s Frosties with French fries while carrying you…”

And it goes on and on!  They give you reasons to blame yourself or your situation for the child crying in the grocery cart.

You know, mentally, it’s been a long day or he just woke up and the bright lights hurt his eyes or he’s teething or maybe he flat out doesn’t want to be in the store today but you let the judging start in you.  Now you blame yourself. 

One child is independent at 6: he wakes up before the rooster crows, does schoolwork without prodding, makes healthy food if there isn’t a ready meal, dresses himself and three younger siblings and feeds the dog before you have your coffee.  Another is 13 and you can’t trust him with the dog for three seconds, he never does anything without you doing it for him, you bought him sliders and gave up on shoelaces decades ago, and it scares you that the government thinks this kid can climb into a 2-ton vehicle in less than three years and turn himself into a human projectile at 70mph+.  (Exaggerated, I know, but still!)

You find yourself blaming you and your circumstances for how your kids are. 

Stop it!

Mommy, your kids are fine!

They have their own unique personalities and the unique way God set in them from when they were knit together in your womb!  Your job is to help them find their way.  It’s a really cool study to really research the Hebrew on that passage you know, “Train up a child…” the word way there means “the traits that are his” we might say his personality, likes, and dreams.  Dig into that one more when you have time – awesome study. 

ANYWAY!  Back to your mind yelling at you and beating you up because your children are different.  Different than you, different than your spouse, different than their siblings, friends, teammates, schoolmates – YES! They were all made different.  Each a beautiful masterpiece God is still carefully crafting with His own hands.

That independent child?  We lead and guide and pray they choose to ask for help when they face something that looks difficult – we’d rather them not make the same mistakes we did.  (Waving my hand, I was that independent child and humility was/is a challenge for me!)

The 13 year old that seems lazy and unproductive?  Watch what falling in love with a sport, subject, or animal will do for him.  You turn around and that one is buying books on said subject, devoting hours, days, whole weeks lost in it, suddenly you blink and he’s that subject’s walking encyclopedia – then if you listen you’ll discover that was always there, he studies one thing at a time and shoelaces, school deadlines, and things that didn’t interest him just didn’t get any attention.   

When you feel like your brain is beating you up because of your parenting, your situation, and your children not being “perfect,” remind your brain that no one is perfect.  There are no perfect children.  (Okay, be honest, you aren’t living in a Jewish village 2000 years ago watching Joseph and Mary parent Jesus – my brain wouldn’t have shut up watching a real perfect kid!)

You can’t say to yourself, “I did xyz” regarding a child’s personality unless you are using that as a tool to ask yourself, “how do I help him overcome this?”  Because yes, I know, going through financial instability, parents going to work or coming home, changing schools, changing neighborhoods, losing family members, that all does contribute to the development of personality and psyche in a child (or in an adult, am I right?) so understanding is good to help more forward – but the best way to help is to LISTEN.

Sit with them when you can – vehicles are normally good because they are trapped and can’t go anywhere.  And ditch the devices.  Unless you are parenting long distance, look in their eyes and listen with your whole self.  It doesn’t have to look like two adults over coffee at a Barnes & Noble, either.  Think like them.  You can be playing a video game with your kid and have deep conversation.  You can be building duplo blocks and get the scoop on everything in his little heart.

Listen to them.  Ask them prodding questions about their thoughts, their dreams, their goals, and what things have impacted them.  You will learn a lot.  Let them speak as much as you can.  You lecturing the same stuff becomes listening to a broken record.  You need to hear them as much as they need to talk to you.  Learn their hearts.  If you forget stuff sometimes like I do, WRITE DOWN important stuff and file it away somewhere.  That way when you want to know your daughter’s favorite color you don’t have to text her sister.

Fail to compare.  ALWAYS choose not to compare.  If you hear them saying “at least I’m better than so-and-so…” ask why they feel that way and then tell them how each person is unique.  If they want to be better at something, encourage it!  But don’t compare with others.  They don’t know “so-and-so’s” full heart story.  (Side note on that is let them read “To Kill A Mockingbird” or watch the Gregory Peck film version.) Don’t compare.  Especially don’t compare siblings!

Choose to change what you can (only yourself and the environment you create) and accept what you can’t (the personality of others and situations you have no control over).

Do your best in the environment you have.  That is all we can do.  Mothers for millennia have been doing just that – wars, famines, massive global flood, cultural and political changes, pestilences, and economic booms and busts notwithstanding, Mothers continue to do their best for their children.  

Fail to compare.

Instead of tearing each other down, we should build each other up.  We should provide safe environments for each other to come, talk deeply, and gather advice.  We live helping each other because we know the power is not in comparing ourselves with another but with helping each other up.  We need that type of love.  We need to build each other up instead of compare and break down.  Our children see how we treat others when they are near and when we are alone – character is what we say and do when no one is watching.  Build up.  Encourage.  Instead of judging someone else, rejoice with them or encourage them.

This is for our own children too.  Build them up, encourage them, rejoice with them, pray for them, and lead them in their own unique and special way.

If you catch yourself comparing yourself to another or your children to each other or another’s child… Stop.  Instead, choose to encourage or rejoice.  Your heart will smile more and that will show on your face and in your attitude – this causes joy in your heart!

Thank you for reading!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

Atrina Serrata

April 20, 2020

Atrina Serrata

What in the Earth? Actually, in the oceans. It is the scientific name for the Sawtooth Penshell.

Becky discovered two of these perfect shells, each about 6 inches long, on the high tide line at our favorite St Johns County beach. On the ride home, Becky researched them and we learned all about their life, their predators, how they likely died (based on their skeletons aka shells), and how they are cooked.

Yes, these particular bivalves are a seafood with a taste and consistency “quite like a scallop” according to the articles Becky found.

We have a rule of never taking living shells for our collection (this particular beach time would have been a great harvest of beautiful specimens if not for that rule!) but Becky said that now when she is ever stranded on a desert island (been watching too much Gilligan’s Island, I guess), she will know one good item to eat.

Perfect specimens have full shells and these both are broken on the fan edges. The bumps are actually raised sharp points like spikes. Their texture is almost leathery for a shell, and when they are in the sun, they shine with an oil-like sheen.

Beautiful.

A lovely addition to our seashell bowl (we may need a bigger bowl)!

Hope you enjoyed this educational tidbit (and maybe you can find some Atrina Serrata skeletons yourself on the lovely Florida beaches)!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Leaving My Little Love

September 8, 2019

Leaving My Little Love

I’m looking at the man cross the coffee table as I talk.  I knew even though he said it was okay to bring my baby (at this point, I’m 8 months pregnant) to work with me, there would come a time when my baby would be better off with Daddy and her siblings than at my office with three doggies, a kitty, and office phones.

Almost seven months later, I’m answering Louis’ call while at work and we are discussing Christina and Becky’s schedule for the night while Thea, hearing Daddy’s voice, is yelling at the top of her lungs. Louis says “She really doesn’t need to be in the office.”

We’d been discussing it, but I was very reluctant.  See, I can’t stand being behind a desk… I want to be active, moving, teaching.  Other adults don’t help.  I hate being still.  (Maybe why I don’t listen to midwives or doctors saying “get bed rest” and instead I’m riding to gym with my girls and Louis – yes! He drove! – when Thea is hours old to watch their practice.)  I wanted Thea with me.

Kitty shows up & Thea is in her play seat.  Kitty has stayed away from her the whole 3 months the kitten has been in the office.  Kitty jumps up on the table of the play area and Thea giggles, excitedly pets Kitty, and rubs her hand over her face and head.   Spots break out – a rash… my baby is allergic to cats! Now I won’t jeopardize her health so from then on she stays home. 

I’m sure that was God saying, “quit being stubborn! Listen to your husband.” 

Leaving her home is the hardest thing ever for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally thankful for my job, I’m just sad that I can’t have my little love with me.

I’m seriously living for the day when I can come into the office at 6am, even 5am, and leave at noon or 1pm.  That is my working goal.  I don’t care if that means less pay… I want to be home with my children.  My loyalty instinct keeps me returning to work.  I LOVE teaching.  I LOVE coaching – and I get to take all my children!  I feel that with the way the company wants to expand, I will be able to move to 5am to noon or 6am to noon one day soon.  I’m praying that’s soon.  I’ll even work from home on weekends or evenings if needed.  I want to be home. 

I think that’s an issue a lot of us women feel but are afraid to say.  We just want to be home when they are home!  We want to be around our teens so we can learn about these amazing young women.  We want to counsel our preteens and research their deep questions alongside them.  We want to guide and protect our elementary kiddos and watch our preschoolers, toddlers, and infants with wonder and awe as they grow and explore.  We want to help mold their little characters as that is the reason God gave them to us.  He knew we could mold them the way He wants.  He gave them to us so we could be a part of their lives and our heart knows that.  We desire to teach our children.

I feel a great empathy with those who can’t stay home or make their schedules work the way they want.  I watch my single sister (who has an amazing daughter she pours everything into, by the way) struggle with the “failure” she feels for not being around as much as she wants to be.  Girl.  That is me too.  I can’t stand being away.  I wanted a job where I could keep my children with me.  (Running a cab company, I was always home!  Even gym coach, my kiddos are there with big sister or awesome ladies/young ladies or now, Grandma!)

God is teaching me patience.  Also that I can’t be everywhere at once.  He is also teaching me to look from all angles. 

Louis has been working 60 to 80+ hours at 2 or more jobs since Christina was born.  He’s been so busy or sleeping between jobs all their lives.  Now, he has one job at evening/night leaving as we are going to sleep.  He gets to cook amazing meals, homeschool them, and watch them grow.  He took Thea home one afternoon instead of leaving her with my mom and Paige in the afterschool/babysitting room at gym. He said he loved it.  “I can see why you miss taking her to work.” He said.  He loved “hanging out” with Thea for five hours by himself.  She ate two jars of baby food, some rice, some apple, played all kinds of giggling games with Daddy on the bed, and then snuggled with him and fell asleep on his tummy.  Louis said he loves this part of being a Daddy.

Daddy and Thea

I was smacked upside the head with the realization that I was being rather selfish in my desire to always be with her.  Louis wants to be just as involved in our children as I do.  He loves the baby giggles, snuggles, and laughter just as I do.  He feels powerful and insignificant and totally blessed just like I do when one of our angels falls asleep snuggling.  We are of the mindset that each may be the last – but honestly, there is a feeling of finality with Thea that wasn’t there for anyone else.  (I’m not saying we won’t have another, just being honest about feelings – I am totally open for whatever God wants)  I need to let Louis have as much baby time as he wants. 

So, in this season, it’s the hardest of all for me; I’m away from my children ten hours a day.  I’m willing to work for the day when we have four teams, a location I can show up at to make sure the vans are stocked, the teams are off with all their supplies, and I’m joined by someone else in the office who allows me to leave at noon.  This is what I hope for.  A little more at 8 to 4 and hopefully, I’m early morning and working from home. 

My Thea, my little love, is at home.  I rest securely in the knowledge that her Daddy is relishing his time with her, and her big sisters and brother will help see that she’s entertained and well fed!

Type at you later,

~Nancy Tart

Targets

July 8, 2019

Targets

We have enough of a spot to set up our archery target (big fat canvas block thing) and our bb gun target (the windfresh bucket with three aluminum cans) and safely target shoot at those.

On perfect days when Mom and Dad are out, the question always comes, “may we set up the targets and shoot?”

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Anastasia rode Lucas’ bike between turns!

Christina prefers the bow and arrow – her “weapon from a more civilized age” as she mimics Obi-wan and Kimberly laughs.  Lucas is just learning to shoot with those.  We have a 10 pound bow and he can finally pull that one back.

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Jaquline and Jillian prefer using the bb rifle since our little Daisy is easier to load than the bows.  (and they are in front of the metal beam! no ricochets here!)

Kimberly likes both.  She’s a lot like me.  My favorite gift ever was my crossbow (which no, we can’t shoot here, but when we got it, I had space enough to use it).

Today, we’d backed the cars off of the carport and set up the targets.  Archery on the left and airgun on the right.  I was overseeing (and assisting with loading) the airgun shooters.  I’m not paranoid, but probably repeated “never point a gun at a person,” and “don’t load if someone is in your range of vision” a hundred times.  I like them to know how to shoot, but I want them to treat every weapon with respect.  Ocean, vehicle, weapon, hot stoves – anything with the possibility of causing injury – safety is the first priority.  Always err on the side of safety and you will eliminate possible accidents.

So for about an hour, I loaded the little Daisy and Jaquline, Jillian, Anastasia, Lucas, and Kimberly took turns taking three shots each at the three target cans.  A few “wow, you got all three!” and a few “oops, try again,” shouts.  They encouraged each other.

Sometimes you feel like you were aiming at something and the site is off.  You can’t hit it at all.  Sometimes everything falls down perfectly.  Life is unpredictable.  Sometimes your perception is off.  Sometimes something that looks perfect is lying.

Strange thoughts I have while the children are shooting?  I couldn’t get out of my mind how thoroughly I’d believed in the good while the truth was right online for me to see if I’d just searched the county records.  (I had to update my story)  I heard “Black Eyes Blue Tears” and cried.  I cried as the kids danced to “Fireflies” just a bit ago.  I pray for her ex-husband.  I pray that her babies remember her.

Briefly, thoughts like that interrupt my life now.  I am there, helping to load the bbs and saying, “yea!  You got them!” but I’m also crying inside because I was supposed to be there to protect her.  I watch Christina patiently help Lucas aim his bow.  I see her mouth move and I know she’s saying, “breathe out, release the string,” just like I did to her.  I teach them safety.  I teach them truth.  I teach them about life.  But I can’t protect everyone.  That reality hurts.

I pray daily for my children, nieces, nephews, the boys and girls in my gym classes, those I influence.  I pray they will find the true Protector in Jesus and follow His direction so their life will be anchored in love, truth, and joy.

I help Anastasia aim the rifle and she giggles when the bb hits the target box.  (The targets are supposed to be the cans, but the box counts too.)  I pray that God puts a hedge of protection around all of His precious children and keeps them safe from deceit.

Jillian and Anastasia are giggling while Jaquline grunts trying to pump the rifle because she’s too big for help.  It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was helping my baby sisters aim our old “red ryder” bb rifle down at the pond, popping off pinecone targets.  I can’t change the past.  I can help mold the future.

Hope.  Hope is what helps me through each day.

The girls are giggling again because Louis is pretending to close his eyes and act like he’s asleep.  It is easy to choose joy with these angels around.

Joy.  Yes, joy is my strength.  Thank you, Jesus, for giving me the strength to choose your joy!

Type at you next time,

~Nancy Tart

 

Fatherhood

June 17, 2019

Fatherhood

So, you know this huge thing called “Fatherhood?”

What comes to mind?  A parenting book I read when I was twelve (yes, oldest sibling perks!) said something like “the child’s view of God as a Father is directly impacted by their experience with their Earthly Father.”

Yes. So true.

I went into parenthood knowing this. (Songs like “He Wants to be Like Me” reaffirmed this giant responsibility.)

A Father is often the humor of the family too – in the photo, Louis had climbed to the top of the stump and challenged “Come Get Me!” … notice all the kids following!

Despite the failures that I’ve made as a Mom and that I felt repercussions of from my parents (they were AWESOME parents, but they weren’t perfect) – I understand the crux of all parenting: we are human.  We (Parents) are not Jesus and are not perfect.

Bingo.

That awesome thing called grace collaborates with the huge responsibility of parenting to create a vulnerable, praying, God-dependant parent capable of teaching the amazing love and grace of Jesus through their own transparency.

Let’s face it: most of the American culture makes fun of fathers.  (Ever seen the Goofy Salute to Fatherhood?) Even as early as the 1950s when there was still a bit of a patriarchal society present, cartoons and movies started to depict fathers as lazy, goofy, clueless bunglers who often caused more problems than they solved.

Although I laughed along with my Daddy at a lot of these early shots at the masculine father, I understood the bulk of media still left you understanding that the love and bond of a father to child was the glue of a family.  The unsung hero always was the silent sure strength of the God-following Father.

As time inched forward, the media continued to turn the American Father into a non-essential entity.

The opposite is true!

I consider myself a strong, independent woman when it comes to my life.  I am a Christian woman, but one of my strongest battles with myself is submission – first to my father, then to Jesus, and later to my husband.  I know this though…  I CANNOT be the mother I am without the encouragement and support from my husband.

If I had to do motherhood without my husband being my ultimate cheerleader and sounding board, I would have realized how unfit I am about three months into the first child.  I have the ultimate respect for people whose life circumstances have forced them to navigate parenthood alone.  I try to be an encourager to them and help those single parents in any way I can because I cannot imagine myself having that strength.

I am excited to be around my husband!  I was on a softball team (church, yes, I’m an athletic maniac but wasn’t on an actual team until I was in my late 20s and it was just for one season with my church family).  Louis was working sometimes 100+ hours a week for our family at the time.  The company I had just closed.  He’d never made it to any of our games (I took all the kids with me; they loved it and hung out with their friends & some of the church ladies who came to encourage us bounced my baby around).  One day he showed up and I was so excited!  (I was told I squealed like a little girl; don’t remember exactly.)  I love walking with him.  I am excited when we do something as a family – or when he’s going somewhere and says, “hey want to go with me?”  Because I know he likes his alone time.  I get way too much alone time at my office – I relish gym coaching because of the other encouraging women I work for and with and the chattering children I love.  I will chatter way too much sometimes.

Our church sermon was on how Fathers aren’t perfect (only Jesus is) and how their honesty and relationship is their connection with their children.  It’s the way to disciple.  We aren’t perfect, our children aren’t perfect – bingo!  Common ground.

I know how important real, honest, God-fearing Fathers are to the fabric of our family.  I know how hard it is to buck the media’s garbage portrayal of our roles and follow God’s plan instead.  I am so thankful that I have a husband who is pursuing God’s heart.  His passion for Jesus makes him a better husband, a better father, and a better friend.  He helps encourage me to pursue God’s heart.  (Told you I’m competitive.)  He isn’t perfect, but he is constantly improving.  A challenge arises and he rises above it.  He’s always leading in love and with a determined drive that is totally contagious.  His passion for Jesus, life, and family (okay, and sports) is encouraging.

And he doesn’t think he’s “so much” – he compliments and lifts me up consistently.  He makes me feel like I’m doing well despite whatever challenge I feel I’m failing.

At church, we pulled in on Father’s Day (neither of our fathers went to church as adults) and he comments, “wow, church is crowded on Father’s Day.”  Yes, at our church, the culture of encouraging each person to follow God individually, corporately, and in their family is persistent.  (I was afraid we lost that when our previous church folded.)  I am so encouraged that Louis has found a church with a culture of lifting up men as fathers; the vital leaders in their homes, encouraging and holding each other accountable.

Thank you, Jesus, for fathers who choose to take the hard road and follow you; they are raising up the next generation of world-changers.

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next later…

~Nancy Tart

A Family Journal

June 2, 2019

A Family Journal

I’ve been working on two projects for each of my children.  One was a crocheted blanket for each – king size, crafted from their favorites in a pattern they chose.  I’ve only completed one.  The second is about 15 rows from completion, but I haven’t worked on it since Thea was born.  It took me 17 months for the first half of Christina’s, but during one superbowl at Louis’ dad’s house, I completed the other half!  So I’m fast, but it will likely be the next week I have off – and then I’ll start on the third of seven.

The second was started in December 2016.  It looks like a simple book, right?

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Actually, I started a journal for Christina.

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It tells family stories, I write my Bible study notes, discuss issues, and write my prayers.  I tell “her story” from my perspective starting from the last page moving forward.  I saved the fourteen pages in between this story and my “journal” for family.  I am going to ask women in our family to write encouragement and blessing to her in their own hand in the journal before I pass it on to her.

I’ve got a central core of stories I will have in each journal – all will be slightly different because I never write the same exact words each time.

I want to write all the wisdom I’ve heard in stories from my grandmothers, mothers, fathers, and mentors in a way my children can read them when they choose.  Maybe they will be encouraged, challenged, or just smile realizing that they are not alone in a struggle they feel slightly too proud or too embarrassed to ask for help about.  I try to relay life and our journey in these bits.  I manage to write at least once a week and direct most of my writing as if I’m talking to her.  This also helps me to process my thoughts.  I also have a required study day if I forget. (Which, yes, sometimes I read without studying, but at least once a week I remember to write my study!)

Such a simple little book.  It holds our family memories, stories, and encouragement for a young woman.  (I need to get busy on Becky’s as they are growing up too quickly for me!)

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

Little Cuties

Some of my odd deep thoughts on animals, their importance in children’s lives, and the responsibility and love they teach.

February 16, 2019

Little Cuties

Becky is in love (again)!  Every time there’s a new baby animal around our little farm, Becky falls in love with it.

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This time, it’s our little Guinea Piglets.  This one, named “Grizzly,” is a female who we get to keep (she gets to stay on our little farm)!

So Becky has been making cute little pictures, drawings, and plans for this cute little piglet.  She is a mottled brown color all over with a sweet disposition. (I’m waiting for a video haha!)

All of our piglets and baby animals end up with sweet, loving, friendly dispositions because they are raised by loving caretakers!  The girls make this a solid priority!  No one can mistreat any of the animals in their care, not even by accident.  Lucas wants to play with the babies as soon as they are born, but because he doesn’t know his own strength, he has to wait until they are old enough to not get squished!  (Or has Christina, Mom, or Dad with him.)

Their little piglets are never nippers.  They love to cuddle instead of bite.  What usually causes piglets to be biters is that they have been scared as babies.  If they think fingers are poking tools, they will bite them.  If they know fingers as gentle places to snuggle and get petted, they snuggle instead.  The girls make sure to teach their piglets that fingers are gentle!

Just like in our lives, our experiences shape who we are!  Often, if we feel scared or hurt, we draw ourselves into isolation and distrust others.  If we feel love and affection, we feel safe enough to be ourselves and trust others.

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Where a snuggly, loving animal is, there is a loving caretaker.

In life, we are expected to shower those we are responsible for with affection and keep them safe.  The same as when we are caretaking animals.

I think raising animals is a vital part of growing up; it teaches children responsibility.  It also teaches them a basic understanding of how their influence on others reflects back.  Goodness returns goodness.  Gentleness breeds gentleness.  Love reflects love.  God gave us the animals to tend and love – just as some of us will eventually lead and influence people (parents, teachers, leaders, co-workers, etc.).  Early life lessons from these cute, furry little creatures who are so dependent on their caretakers help to mold a caring tender heart from whom compassion grows.

(Okay, maybe that’s a little too deep of a thought from watching children tend animals, but it’s what I see.)

Thanks for reading!

Type at you later…

~Nancy Tart

 

 

 

Fresh New Year

Who else is excited for 2019? Who else looks at the new year like a child on Christmas morning looks at presents around the tree?

December 31, 2018

Fresh New Year

“It’s still 2018, right?” asks Kimberly, working on her History.

“Yes, it’s the last day of 2018,” I respond.  Christina pipes in with, “and our Aunt’s birthday!”  (One of their aunts is born on December 31!)

This makes me think: (uh-oh, I just heard two kids say “Mom’s writing another blog in her head.”) Yes, my children know me!

Tomorrow starts a fresh new year.  We are given a new beginning each day as the dawn warms our skies and the sun rises to dry the dew.

In the service industry, all days blend together and all the New Year has meant for me in the past 8 years was a barrage of people calling to order reservations at 1am on New Year’s Day from the Bayfront downtown or 11pm from the Saint Augustine Beach peir (two locations at the times we can never promise) so then it turns into irritated people who don’t understand the simple line, “I can’t guarantee that time at that location, you can try to call us at the time to see where our cabs are.”

I’m so glad today does not involve dispatching!  I’m only answering questions from the school table – awesome!

In 2018:

  • I started working at WGV Gymnastics as a coach (LOVE this job).
  • We closed our taxi company in December.  It feels awesome to be able to shut off my phone and not worry about missing a reservation call!
  • I’ve finished, polished, and published four new children’s books: A Foundling Furball, Alena’s Baby, The Tightrope Dare, and Fibbing Fishermen!
  • I’ve rejoiced with the addition of my best friend’s 10th baby!
  • I’ve rejoiced with my sister who is due about the same time I am!  (They will be close cousins!)
  • I’ve mourned and rejoiced with my family after my Daddy passed.
  • I celebrated the first Christmas ever without him – that was his favorite holiday.
  • Christina achieved CAP rank of C/CMSgt, become Red Cross certified, started officially babysitting, started working as needed at what she calls “my somewhat part time job,” and completed her third college semester.
  • Becky completed her second college semester, bred and raised a few dozen chicks up to “independence” for clients, raised her batches of “babies” (aka Guinea Piglets), joined gymnastics classes (finally finding something to encourage her fitness!), and has taught most of her siblings the Latin terms for every body part since she’s been dissecting animals in her biology labs!
  • Kimberly joined gymnastics classes with her gung-ho attitude and is expecting great things from herself, was gifted a bunny (she’s been saving to adopt one for almost a year but her awesome big sisters beat her to it) and Minuit has never left her side.
  • Jaquline discovered the amazing world of Geometry and everything is now interpreted in shapes or gymnastics skills!
  • Jillian started losing teeth, is studying sketching (she’s getting rather good actually!) and digital art along with Becky, and getting herself lost in the world of reading!
  • Lucas started trying to write his name!

We are all expecting amazing things to come in 2019.  God has paths lined up for us that we may not even be able to see yet – if you’d told me at the start of 2018 that I’d be teaching gymnastics for an awesome Christian boss, be pregnant again, and have no taxi company, I would have laughed.

But (positive!) God knows the desires of our hearts!  He knows I love children, love teaching, and that gymnastics has always been a dream. (Dream job come true?  YES!)  He knows Lucas loves babies and is super excited about getting to “take MY BABY home from church.”  (All the other babies he’s been around are those of church family, so he can’t take them home.)  He knows that rebuilding hybrid batteries is something else I love – tinkering with electronics as Daddy taught me & a niche few offer around here so maybe that will be our main income soon!

I’m about to polish and release a few more children’s books (maybe an entire new series working around my budding illustrators’ work!) and my goal for this year is 12 releases.

Who else is excited for 2019?  Who else looks at the new year like a child on Christmas morning looks at presents around the tree?  I see each day as a gift from God to be opened at each dawn.  I see gifts we can’t even dream of yet sitting there, waiting God’s perfect timing for us to unwrap and enjoy.  I’m praying that certain things are there – which day holds the gift of my child’s birth?  Does a gift in that pile include a property or home of our own?  Is there a gift of being able to read my books before a class, teach a grammar workshop, or tutor another child?  Only God knows what each gift holds.  My Daddy loved seeing the smiles and squeals of excitement on Christmas morning as his children opened presents – I love this part of Christmas morning as a parent too.  I can only imagine God smiling as we open each gift and yelp with excitement!

Enjoy your daily gifts in 2019!  Happy, blessed New Year!

Thanks for reading!

Type at you next time…

~Nancy Tart

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